Perfectly Lonely: (Let Me In, Book 2)

by Marin, Jessica

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea just yet, Robert. Let me continue working on myself for a little bit longer and then I’ll consider online dating.” I make a mental note to delete my current account so he doesn’t see it. Robert is definitely the type of friend who would create one for you behind your back and start playing matchmaker.

  I watch his eyes leave me as they fix on something past my shoulders. A slow, evil smile spreads his lips as he looks back at me. “Forget online dating. I think the perfect person to help ease you back into the dating world has been underneath our noses this whole time.”

  I give him a questioning look and turn around to see who he is referring to.

  Imagine my surprise to see Chase Wilson staring back at me.

  8

  Chase

  After cleaning up the shattered glass, I needed to get the hell out of my apartment, so I grabbed my camera and decided to walk the streets of Chicago. Photography used to bring me a sense of calmness before I became a paparazzi and I wanted to see if that still held true by taking photos of the beautiful architecture that makes this city so famous. Two hours later, I feel better and find myself near O’Malley’s Irish Pub. I’ve only been to O’Malley’s once in the past and that was to do some investigative research on Jenna. The bartenders were pretty loyal to Jenna, who was a regular along with Robert and Layla, and never took my bribes of money for information on her. It has a lively atmosphere and is known for their authentic Irish food and drink. With the crap day I had, imbibing in some Jameson whiskey sounded like a great idea, so I decided to go in.

  Turns out my night was about to get a whole helluva a lot better when my eyes landed on Layla Sands.

  Robert waves me over and I immediately see Layla shaking her head and mouthing “hell no” to him. If she was trying to be discreet about her feelings for having me at their table, she was doing a piss poor job at it. Somehow I doubt that Layla even cares and that makes me smile even broader at them.

  “Hello Robert…Layla,” I nod at each of them, my gaze lingering longer on her. She looks beautiful as always, her aqua satin shirt making her blue eyes even more electrifying. The top two buttons of her shirt are unbuttoned and I can see a hint of her sexy, creamy cleavage. Flashbacks of those luscious, more than a handful, breasts start toying with my mind and I decide it’s best to keep my eyes on Robert in order to prevent my dick from growing any harder. “What are you two doing here tonight?”

  “Wednesday nights used to be our nights here with Jenna, so we are just celebrating the return of Cal without her.” He lifts his glass and salutes me before taking a drink. I glance down at Layla’s drink to see it still full.

  “May I join you? I’ll buy us a round,” I ask and signal for the bartender before they have a chance to change their minds.

  “Yes!” Robert says.

  “No!” Layla shouts at the same time.

  “Ouch!” Robert yells as the table shakes from Layla kicking him from underneath. I can’t help but chuckle at the sour expression on her face.

  “May I?” I motion with my hand to the chair next to her, seeking her permission to sit down. I notice she tries to quickly check out my body, but does a double take when the sight of my knees catches her attention.

  “Is that blood on your pants?” She moves her head down so she can get a better look before bringing her gaze back up to mine, shock registering at the confirmation. “What happened to your knees?”

  “They lost a battle against shards of glass,” I shrug, not wanting to bring any more attention to it.

  “Why were you kneeling in glass?” Robert asks.

  “I was trying to clean it up,” I reply nonchalantly.

  “Doesn’t it hurt?” Layla asks, surprisingly showing concern.

  “It did, but I like dealing with pain head-on. I believe if you can conquer it without help, it’s just a reminder of how much stronger you really are.”

  Layla’s face becomes pale and she looks from me to Robert, her eyes asking some sort of silent question. Robert just stares at me with a shit eating grin on his face and nods his head up and down. I have no idea what's going on with the two of them right now, so I salute them with my drink and down my shot of Jameson. It slowly burns down my esophagus in the most delicious kind of way and I immediately order another one.

  “That’s brilliant,” Robert slowly comments. “Don’t you think so, Layla?”

  “No, Robert, I don’t!” she huffs and I look at the two of them in confusion. Robert’s phone dings to signify he has received a text. He glances down at his phone and screeches in surprise. He picks it up and immediately starts responding back to the text.

  “How many of those has he had?” I ask, nodding toward his glass that is now empty.

  “Too many,” she mumbles.

  “Well, kids, this has been enlightening, but this heavenly human of a man that I’m dating has invited me to his house to watch a movie.” He winks at me and air kisses Layla. “Chase, can you make sure she gets home okay?”

  “Of course,” I respond.

  “No, thank you!” she curtly responds back.

  “A gentleman always makes sure a lady gets home safely,” I raise my eyebrows at her, ready for her to challenge.

  “Since you are by no means a gentleman, that doesn’t apply to you.” She smiles at me with all the fakeness she can muster.

  “Touché, my lady,” I toast my glass to her and down my second shot, the burn just as intense as it was the first time. You deserve the pain of this burn for what you did to her.

  “For a second, I’m almost sad to be leaving this entertaining banter between the two of you, but the idea that I might be getting laid tonight wins out. Toodles, darlings! I will see you tomorrow!” He leaves a hundred dollar bill on the table and with a wave, leaves us alone.

  “Check please!” Layla calls out and waves at the bartender to get his attention.

  “Can’t you please just have one more drink with me?” I ask, not ready for her to leave just yet. The scent of vanilla and coconut raids my nostrils as she whips her head around to look at me and I immediately want to bury my face into her neck for more.

  “It’s not that I can’t stay - I don’t want to stay. Besides, I have to work in the morning,” she answers with haughtiness in her voice.

  “We all have to work in the morning. Please, one more drink?” I beg and give her one of my famous boyish smiles that ladies don’t resist.

  “How silly of me that I forgot your line of work requires waking up and ruining more lives,” she snides sarcastically. My smile immediately falls from my face and that feeling of being a lowlife scum bag that I’m starting to believe I am, returns.

  “Layla,” I sigh out in frustration. “I know you’ve thrown away every apology letter that I’ve written to you, but I’m truly sorry for my actions that night. Even though revealing their story has benefited Cal, Jenna, and Avery, it was not my business to tell. I should never have told their secret and I should have never made you feel guilty or shameful. Despite what you may think, I do regret my actions that night and hate myself more than you could possibly hate me. So, for what it’s worth, I’m really sorry and hope one day you can forgive me.”

  She ponders my apology, but the mistrust in her eyes is still present. The last two years I’ve been roaming around not caring what anybody thinks about me or my career. But I’ve come to realize that I care what Layla thinks. I don’t want her to hate me and gaining her forgiveness will be a step in the right direction of forgiving myself.

  She’s about to say something but stops herself. Instead she narrows her eyes and studies my face. She leans forward and it takes all of my willpower to keep my eyes trained on her and not the opening of her shirt. I hold my breath, refusing to breathe in another whiff of her intoxicating scent.

  “Why are you a paparazzi?”

  I slowly exhale and silently question whether I should tell her the truth or not. Lies would only push her away if she
ever found out and if I’m seeking forgiveness, then she’s owed the truth. “My family’s business started to struggle and becoming a paparazzi was the only way I figured I could make quick money to help save it. Or so I thought.” I shake my head and let out a short, bitter laugh at my naiveté. Her eyebrows raise in surprise at my admission and I realize that I haven’t been the subject of conversation between her and Jenna. “I’m a little surprised to see that Jenna didn’t tell you.”

  Her mouth drops open in complete shock. “Jenna knew about this?”

  I briefly recall the conversation to try to remember how much I had told her. “To be fair, she doesn’t know the full details. She asked the same question after I helped walk her home when she tried to outrun Mason that first morning he was her bodyguard.” I can’t help but smile at her stupidity that day. Thank God she wasn’t hurt when she went rogue and ditched him to try to prove a point to Cal that she could handle being by herself. “I told her the exact same answer I just told you.”

  She leans back in her chair with resignation. “How do I know you are telling me the truth? Paparazzi are just as good at lying as actors are.”

  Now it is my turn to raise my eyebrows at her, wondering if she is referring to Cal. “I won’t be a paparazzi for much longer and unfortunately at this moment, you don’t know if I’m telling the truth. You don’t trust me because I betrayed your trust and I understand that. You’ll just have to Google me to find out if I’m lying or not,” I say with a sad smile.

  She continues her assessment of me, her stare breaking only when the bartender brings back the change. She leaves him a tip, puts the rest of the money back in her purse, and stands up to leave.

  “I’m still going to make sure you get home safely. We can share a cab.” I stand up as well and move my chair back into the table.

  She looks at me and starts again to say something but stops herself. “You already know where I live, don’t you?”

  I give her a knowing look before stating the obvious. “Yes.”

  Her eyes widen slightly and she shakes her head before turning around and heading toward the door. I follow her silently as she says good night to the bartender and I make sure to hold the door for her as we walk out. Due to the popularity of O’Malley’s, we’re able to get a taxi since they are lined up on the street. She gives the driver her address and we drive away from the pub in silence.

  I decide not to engage in anymore conversation with her as I feel the air of silence is compatible and friendly. She needs time to register everything I told her tonight. I know I’ll see her again before I leave to go home and I’ll just keep fighting for her forgiveness until I get it.

  The cab ride to her apartment building is short. I tell the driver this will be all one fare that I will pay and ask him to wait for me as I step outside of the cab to watch her walk into her building. I decide not to follow her in order to give her space and instead lean against the cab to watch her.

  “Thank you for tonight, Layla.” I call out after her, wanting her to know I appreciate her for listening to me. My words make her stop before entering her building. She stays there for a few seconds before turning around and walking back toward me. My shock at her movement makes me straighten from the cab. She stops in front of me and I’m captivated once again by those blues eyes that are making me feel like she is stealing my soul. She breaks her hold over me by closing her eyes and slowly gulping. I have no idea what she is thinking but it’s obvious that she’s having some inner turmoil. She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes to look at me.

  “I can recognize what you are trying to do tonight as I myself am trying to make amends with my past behavior. I appreciate your continued efforts to apologize to me.” She stops and swallows. “Therefore, I forgive you.”

  “What?” I ask incredulously, not believing the words that just came out of her mouth.

  She nods her head at me and squares her shoulders back. “I forgive you, Chase. The old Layla would damn you to eternal hell for deceiving me, but things happen for a reason and like you said, it did turn out for the best. Besides, I’m trying hard not to be the old Layla anymore. God knows I deserve forgiveness for my sins.” Her mouth twists up in a sad smile before continuing. “It actually feels good to forgive you and I hope that my forgiveness helps you heal on whatever journey you are on to forgiving yourself as well.”

  As I continue to stare at her in utter astonishment, I realize that I truly never knew the real Layla. How could I from just our one night stand and from observing her from afar all these months?

  I’m seeing a woman who I thought was weak due to her pain, but is actually strong.

  I’m seeing a woman whose heart I thought was shattered, but is actually stitched up and on the mend.

  I’m seeing a woman who I physically knew was beautiful, but is now confirmed to be beautiful on the inside as well.

  I’m seeing a woman I want more of.

  Without thinking, I react. I grab her arms, slam her up against my body and crush my mouth to hers.

  Her lips are warm, soft and taste as sweet as candy. And although I have kissed these lips before, this time it feels different because I have zero ulterior motives.

  This time, it feels like a home I never want to leave.

  9

  Layla

  I can’t move as my body is in complete shock from his response to my forgiveness. I couldn’t even try to move if I wanted to as he has a death grip on my arms, holding me against him. Physical contact was the last thing I was expecting…or even wanting. His lips are firm and have the subtle taste of the whiskey he was drinking back at the pub. Being this close to him makes me feel the sculpted, chiseled muscles of his chest down to the hardness of his erection and is starting to make me ache in places I don’t want to ache. If I let him deepen this kiss, my underwear will be soaked. Warning bells are going off in my head that this is a very, very bad idea.

  Chase Wilson is kissing me!

  This is wrong!

  He is my enemy!

  You just forgave him.

  Make it stop!

  Why haven’t I stopped it yet?

  Because you LIKE it!

  That last comment from the little devil on my shoulder gets my hands to move up his chest and push with all I can muster, which is barely anything against his strong body. My resistance breaks his kiss and the trance that has overcome him.

  “What are you doing? Me forgiving you doesn’t give you the right to kiss me!” I practically scream at him, not wanting him to think I want a repeat performance of our night together in Las Vegas.

  ‘That is complete bullshit because you do!’ my little devil says.

  “Do not give in to the temptation!” my little angel on the other shoulder says.

  My anger gets him to remove his arms, but he still invades my personal space. “I’m sorry, I just… wait,” he stammers as he runs his hand through his hair and exhales a shaky breath. “Fuck that, I’m not sorry! I’ve been wanting to kiss you since the first time I laid eyes on you.”

  “Do you think I’m that stupid, Chase? You think me forgiving you gives you the green light for us to have sex again?”

  “No, I never thought that! Layla, you’re misinterpreting what I mean.” He looks around and notices the stares we are getting from the few people who remain on the street. “Can we please go upstairs and talk about this?”

  “Hell no, I’m not inviting you upstairs to my apartment!” I turn around and stomp back to the front door of my building, completely irritated and frustrated that men tend to think with their small heads instead of their big heads.

  “Layla!” He runs past me and stops me in my tracks by blocking me from the front door. “All I want to do is get to know you better. I just want a chance.”

  “Why? We aren’t friends and up until thirty minutes ago, you were my number one enemy! Why do you want to get to know me better? So you can try to make me trust you in order to get more top secret information to
sell?”

  “I just told you that I’m no longer going to be a paparazzi and unless you have other celebrity friends that I don’t know about, what secrets would you even have for me to sell? None!” He takes a step closer to me and runs his hands down my arms. “My intentions are pure and truthful.”

  I shake off his hands as his touch is too distracting. “You think that I’m going to believe that you’re actually interested in me as a person after what you did?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be interested in you as a person? You are smart, funny, and one of the sexiest women I’ve ever met. I wanted to meet you before I even knew who you were associated with. Like right now, you just looking at me as you are is making me hard. Don’t you remember our chemistry that night? I have dreamt about being inside of your warmth again, feeling you squeeze around me.” He runs a finger down my cheek and proceeds to rub his thumb over my lips, making me shiver despite the heat outside. “I’ve imagined these perfect lips wrapped around my cock as you suck me off.”

  I gasp in shock at how my body reacts to his words and remove his hand from my lips, needing to get as far away from him as possible. “Well, enjoy that image because you sure won’t be getting reality any time soon! I rescind my forgiveness!” I try to step around him, but he continues to block my path.

  “Layla, sex has never been unattainable for me, so what do I need to do to prove to you that I’m not interested in just a mindless fuck? Just be friends? I can do that if you’ll let me in.”

  I cross my arms over my chest and narrow my eyes at him. “I don’t need more friends.”

  Damn him as he gives me a sexy smirk in response. All I want to do right now is stomp my foot like a child who doesn’t get her way at the mounting frustration he is causing me.

  “I’m asking for two weeks of me being your friend and doing things that friends do, like going to dinner, the movies, working out, talking on the phone.”