Perfectly Lonely: (Let Me In, Book 2)

by Marin, Jessica

  Working with Chase has been easy — getting to go home with Chase every night has been a dream. He makes me happier in ways I could never imagined possible and I’m grateful each and every day for my second chance at love, at happiness. I look behind my shoulder to see him waiting for me. He has taken Jenna’s place by accompanying me, but is being respectful of my time alone. He sees me looking at him and smiles as he blows me a kiss. I give him a thumbs up, indicating that I’m doing okay, before turning my attention back to Charlie’s grave.

  “Life sure is different now. I’m proud of myself and I know you are too,” I continue on with honesty, not feeling guilty anymore for loving someone else other than him. “He makes me happy, Charlie. So incredibly happy. You always wanted this kind of life for me and I’m sorry it took me so long to want it for myself,” I sigh, trying hard not to have any regrets at how long this journey has been for me. But if I wanted it for myself sooner, who knows if Chase would have come into my life.

  “We have to go back to Vancouver soon to start the new ice wine harvest, but I promise you that I’ll always be back to see you.” Chase and I have agreed that we will split up the year between our two cities — six months in Vancouver and six months in Chicago. It will be a big transition for me, but with Chase by my side, I’ll be just fine.

  I look around the cemetery one last time, deciding that it’s time to go. We are all on borrowed time and I now would rather spend all of that time with Chase and the rest of the people who love me.

  “I have to go, Charlie, but I know you’ll always be with me.” I keep my normal ritual of kissing the grass before I stand up to depart. I take one last look at his headstone before exhaling, not realizing I was holding my breath.

  “I love you, Charlie. Always and forever.” I turn around and walk away from my past and into the awaiting arms of my future.

  * * *

  It’s time for Sean to get his happily ever after - but will it be with Cora or will he take a chance on his childhood friend, Isla? This is NOT a love triangle and there is no cheating. See for yourself by reading a sneak peak of Edge of Desire, book 3 in the Let Me In Series!

  Excerpt from Edge of Desire

  CORA

  I open the door to my apartment and sigh in relief to finally be back home. I just got off the plane from shooting my latest movie for the last three months in different locations around the world and only have a small amount of time to rest before the press tour for another one of my movies begins. At least I will be with Cal during this press tour! I roll my suitcase into my bedroom and fall down onto my bed, exhaustion settling in.

  What people don’t understand or see is how utterly exhausting it is being an actress. Auditions, meetings, rehearsal, wardrobe changes, memorizing your lines, traveling, waiting around in your trailer, press releases, award shows… the list is endless. Thank goodness I was in the right place at the right time, vacationing with Cal and Sean during one of our school breaks, when all three of us were discovered by a talent scout. The talent scout got us in the door, but we have all had to work our asses off in order to keep ourselves in the business. All these years later, Cal and Sean are at the height of their careers while I still have to suck some director’s cock in order to even be considered for a role. Not to mention, I am still single, with Cal seeming to drift farther out of my reach.

  “Damn you, Cal,” I say out loud to no one but myself. I get off the bed and go straight to the kitchen to open a bottle of wine. Once I pour a large glass of Pinot Noir, I sit down and look at the view out of my living room window. A view that should have been London, but instead is a view of a nasty, dirty lake.

  Lake Michigan in Chicago.

  If you asked me where I thought I would be in my life right now, the answer would’ve been being Cal Harrington’s wife and us living in London part time while we traveled the world together, taking turns shooting movies. I’m still striving for that kind of life, but instead, I’m living in a secret apartment that no one knows about in Chicago in order to follow his every move while he plays house with the mother of his children.

  Never would I’ve imagined him falling in love with someone else. Nor would I’ve believed it would be with a commoner. I snort in disgust as an image of Jenna Pruitt comes to mind. I guess some might think she’s pretty… if you think a fat mouse with beady brown eyes is fucking pretty. I don’t understand what he sees in her. And her body… ugh! She looks like a small man with her muscled arms and legs. Why any man likes an athletic body in a woman is beyond me. I keep myself lean and tight, with the help of Pilates, cigarettes and cocaine. Food is a nuisance. I eat because I have to, but I try to get away with the bare minimum.

  I shake my head, not understanding why this is happening to me. Jenna was only supposed to be a fling. I paid enormous amounts of money to people to help keep them apart. I thought I got rid of her until her out of control best friend drunkenly told a story involving a “secret” that Jenna was keeping. Turns out, that person she told was paparazzi and he sold the story for a lot of money.

  A story whose secret was a child that Cal didn’t know he even had.

  A story that painted Cal’s reputation as a deadbeat father.

  I knew all about Cal’s child before he did. I kept that secret because I knew if he found out, he would be lost to me forever. I thought I had borrowed time until the little brat was old enough to either want to find her daddy or want nothing to do with him. I was hoping Jenna would find someone else to be the kid’s father. But four years later, that bitch was still not married and once the story became public, Cal immediately flew to Chicago to meet his daughter.

  I didn’t panic at first. During those four years, I spent as much time as I could with Cal. We made a movie together with Sean. We went on vacation together, we were each other’s dates to movie premieres and we talked on the phone daily. I made sure to sabotage any other woman that came into his life before he could even really think about them. Fortunately, Cal is a workaholic and was determined to make a name for himself in Hollywood. He put dating on hold and I made myself available to him whenever he needed a date for any award ceremony, event, or even just to go out. We were photographed all the time together and I anonymously paid the press money to print stories about us secretly dating. As his fame rose, he barely paid attention to himself in the press and when his publicist brought the stories to his attention and asked if he wanted to issue a cease and desist for printing false information, he laughed it off and said he didn’t care if they thought we were together.

  That was when I knew I had chance.

  I started to act more aggressive with him, more suggestive. He used to only look at me as a friend, but then one night at a party, he looked at me differently. The lust showed up in his eyes as his gaze lingered on my lips. Lips that I’ve been told look amazing wrapped around men’s dicks. I was determined to have them wrapped around his that night. I proceeded to keep pumping him with alcohol as the taste of victory was near. When I saw he was teetering on the line between buzzed and inebriated, I made my move. I took him to a bathroom, locked the door and attempted to make him mine.

  His lips were the most delicious lips I’ve ever tasted.

  His tongue awakened a desire that no man has ever come close to making me feel.

  He had me pinned to the wall, my legs wrapped around his waist and was this close to having him inside me, bare with no condom, when the banging on the door startled us apart. It was as if an ice cold bucket of water was poured on him. He looked at me, saw the position we were in and dropped me as if I burned him. He quickly buttoned up his pants and opened the door without saying a word and left.

  Staring at me from the other side of that door was Sean Lindsey. The look of jealousy and desire shooting daggers at me from his eyes as he assessed the situation he just interrupted. Sean has loved me from the day he met me and I have used that love as a pawn in my game.

  I keep him close so I can be close to Cal.

&nbs
p; Sean and Cal have been best friends for years. There is no one who knows Cal better than Sean. I have toyed with the idea of Sean as my backup, but despite his good looks, Sean doesn’t light my core on fire the way Cal does. So I keep Sean in my back pocket, teasing him with hope that one day we might be together.

  Do I have remorse that I’m stringing him along? Absolutely not!

  My mother taught me at a very young age to go after what I wanted, because the only person who can look out for me is me. And that’s exactly what I’m doing.

  I want Cal Harrington.

  I will have Cal Harrington.

  And nobody will stand in my way.

  The ringing of my cell phone brings me out of my trance. I get up and retrieve it out of my purse to see my agent calling me. I purposely signed with Philip Logan because he was Cal and Sean’s agent. He’s ridiculously expensive, but worth every penny. I quickly debate whether or not to answer, but decide it’s better to answer his call in order to see if I can get any information out of him regarding Cal’s next movie.

  “How is my favorite agent doing?” I sweetly ask as I answer the phone.

  “Do you have another agent working for you? Because I wouldn’t put that past you,” he sharply answers back, no amusement in his voice whatsoever. I sigh hearing his tone, knowing that this conversation will not be fun.

  “What’s wrong now, Philip?” I roll my eyes, not hiding my annoyance. I have no energy to deal with his melodrama today and I now regret answering his call.

  “Guerdain is dropping you.”

  “What? They can’t do that. I’m in contract with them!” I yell into the phone in disbelief. I have been the face of one of Guerdain’s perfumes for the past five years, raking in a million dollars per year for ad campaigns. They are my last endorsement since all of my other ones have run out and the companies don’t want to renew. Some bullshit excuse saying I’m difficult to work with.

  “They most certainly can and did, Cora. All you had to do was show up on time, be nice, and keep that pretty big mouth of yours shut! But it seems you not only were late this last photo shoot, but were rude to the director, whining about how slow he was and complaining about how long the shoot was. Your reputation is preceding you and no one wants to sign you for endorsements. I can’t even get a tampon company to want you!” He sneers, making me want to hurl my phone against the floor and scream. I needed that money and with no other movies lined up right now, I need to figure out quickly what I am going to do.

  “What kind of scripts do you have for me, Philip?” I change the subject, hoping for some good news to come out of this conversation and that he has another job booked for me.

  “I only have two scripts for you, but they are the same type of parts you seem to gravitate toward. Villainous bitch, ready to destroy things. I know those roles are true to reality, but aren’t you tired of playing yourself?” His sarcasm makes me grit my teeth from refraining to tell him to go fuck himself.

  “My fans like me in these roles and we want to keep them happy in order to keep them coming to the box office,” I remind him so he can keep his focus on dollar signs and not the type of roles I play. “Scan and email the scripts to me so I can read them.”

  “Why don’t I just physically hand them to you this weekend?”

  “Since when were we meeting this weekend?” I ask in confusion, trying to remember if I agreed to a meeting in Los Angeles with him or if he was coming to London. My mother is the only one who knows about this apartment in Chicago, as the sneaky bitch went through my office in my London home and found the paperwork. Since her third divorce was finalized, I reluctantly agreed to her temporarily living in my London home while I’m away in order for someone to take care of it. That was a year ago and it looks like she has no desire of ever leaving.

  “Aren’t you going to be at Cal’s surprise birthday party?” He asks and I’m stunned into silence by this unexpected news. “Your silence leads me to believe that you didn’t know about your supposed best friend’s party. Which means Jenna didn’t invite you,” he laughs and I wish I was physically in front of him to punch him in his smug, ugly face. “Can’t blame her really since you make it painfully obvious how you want what is hers.”

  “Do your job, Philip! Get me those scripts and find some more endorsement deals. I’ll see you this weekend!” I hang up on him and scream out my frustrations.

  How dare that whore not invite me to his birthday party! I start pacing my living room, frantically thinking of ways to crash that party when I immediately think of Sean and dial his phone number.

  “Hello, handsome,” I purr at him as soon as he answers. “Am I going to see you this weekend? I really miss you.” I lower my voice so that it sounds husky and genuine.

  “Sorry, Cora, but I’m not in London,” he says, his voice sounding distant as if he’s uninterested in talking to me. “I will ring you when I return.”

  “I know you’re in Chicago for the big party, Sean. I was thinking I can come with you and be your plus one,” I say nonchalantly, trying to act calm.

  “I know firsthand that you weren’t invited, Cora. How do you even know about it?” He questions, his voice laced with amusement and I relax hearing hints of how he normally sounds when talking with me.

  “It doesn’t matter how I found out. What matters is that I’m there with you, celebrating our oldest friend. Don’t you think Cal would be upset if one of his best friends wasn’t there? Besides, it would be nice to have some alone time with you. Just like old times,” I say with purpose, hoping to jog his memory of the good times we recently had together.

  All three of us reunited last year to shoot the sequel to our highly successful drama thriller we made together five years ago. With Jenna always being on set, I spent most of my free time with Sean. But even he couldn’t distract me from my anger at having to see her every day with the man that’s supposed to be mine.

  “I don’t know what Cal thinks anymore since his head is so far up Jenna’s ass. No offense, but he probably wouldn’t even notice if you weren’t there.”

  Despite his joking tone, his words make me seethe. How dare he throw that in my face! I mentally count to ten to calm down before responding to him.

  “Sean, I want to see you and I know you want to see me too. I will text you on Friday when I land so you can let me know what hotel to meet you at.”

  “I am staying with Cal and Jenna. Since you’re going to be a party crasher, might be best if you stay at a hotel, Cora.”

  “Fine, but you are always welcome to share my room if the baby keeps you awake,” I say, giving Sean the option of choosing me instead of being in a house with children. Jenna gave birth to their son, Brooks, who just turned one. Another party that I wasn’t invited to. I shake off my bitterness to focus back on the conversation.

  “Text me when you land, Cora. We can make plans then. I need to go.” I stare at the phone in shock as I see he hung up on me without saying goodbye.

  I walk into my bedroom, pull open the closet doors and start sifting through my clothes. All my clothes here are dull and boring. Most of them having to be a disguise so I don’t get recognized. I grab my red wig, go into my bathroom and look at myself as I put it on and adjust it to properly fit my head.

  “Sean is dead wrong if he thinks Cal won’t notice me at his party,” I say to my reflection with an evil smile. Satisfied with my appearance, I give myself a wink of confidence, walk out to grab my purse and sunglasses.

  It’s time to go shopping for a dress that will make sure no one forgets my attendance at Cal’s party.

  * * *

  SEAN

  “Talking with your she-devil?” I spin around in surprise at the sound of Jenna’s voice. So engrossed was I in my thoughts over my conversation with Cora that I didn’t hear her approach the kitchen. She’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed against her chest, looking at me with annoyance.

  Fuck, she wasn’t supposed to hear anything! I quick
ly place my phone in the back pocket of my jeans to try to hide it. I’m the dumbass who took the phone call in her kitchen instead of going outside, so it’s just my luck that she would hear my conversation. Not really wanting to reveal the news about Cora’s future attendance in her home, I give her my best innocent smile and decide to deflect the question.

  “Jenna, dear, don’t you know it’s not nice to sneak up on people while they’re having a conversation? Now I see where your daughter gets it from.”

  Jenna and Cal’s daughter, Avery, is notorious for sneaking up on people and hearing inappropriate conversations at the wrong time. At the tender age of eight, she has already heard about cum juice and butt plugs.

  “But I will forgive you for scaring me since you look so ravishing in your sweaty workout attire,” I tell her with a wink. She rolls her eyes at my flirtatious banter and moves away from the doorframe to the refrigerator.

  I can’t help my eyes from scanning her tight body, clad in black work out leggings and a loose fitting white t-shirt. Since having their second child, Jenna has been working hard to make sure she maintains her pre-baby shape. I scan her face while she pulls out a water bottle from the refrigerator and takes a deep gulp of it. Her face is looking a little too thin, making me wonder if she’s becoming obsessed with keeping herself in shape. I make a mental note to talk to Cal about it when she interrupts my thoughts with her next words.

  “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick you out of my house for inviting her to Cal’s party?” Her whiskey colored eyes shoot daggers at me in anger. Her tone of voice is harsh, but the underlying hint of hurt is clearly detectable. Now I’m the asshole for betraying her.