More Than Forever

by Jay McLean

  She snorts. "I don't mind, babe. Worst comes to worst I'll just get my license. I only held off because I like you driving me around."

  We gather our snacks and move to the living room, where she positions herself lengthways on the couch and lifts her legs for me to take a seat. Once we're settled, she pulls her e-reader out of her backpack and switches it on.

  Mark shrugs on his Lethal Weapon shirt; one that says 'I'm too old for this shit'. Mom used to hate it. She thought it was a bad influence on me. We still haven't told her about the time I hit him in the face with my baseball bat and he dropped the C bomb. I was nine.

  Mark chuckles and shakes his head at Lucy just as Mom throws a fake Persian blanket over them. "It's Movie Madness, Luce. No books," he jokes.

  "It's okay," I cut in, "she can read. I'm used to it."

  "I have two chapters left, and then I'm all in."

  "Shit," I clip. "My Delorean." I quickly run up to my room and grab the model car Mark got me because he knew it was my favorite movie. Actually, come to think of it, that was the day after he dropped the C bomb. Maybe he had ulterior motives. Asshole. I'm still laughing to myself when I get back downstairs.

  "What's funny?" Mom asks.

  I lift Lucy's legs and reposition myself. "Remember that time I gave Marky Mark a fat lip with a bat?"

  Mom chuckles.

  I hold up the Delorean and quirk an eyebrow at Mark.

  His eyes go huge as he shakes his head in warning.

  ***

  I'm trying to watch the movie but her feet on my lap keep rubbing each other. It would be fine, only they're on my lap. I glance at her quickly but she's too consumed in her book, her eyes darting from side to side. She smiles softly. I've learned that it means the characters have done something overly cheesy. I want to smile with her, but all I can think about are her feet rubbing against my dick... and the hard-on that's building faster than it should.

  Containing a groan, I pick up a cushion and do my best to not disturb her while I lift her feet, placing the cushion on my lap to hide myself.

  I hear Mark chuckle and look up at him. His hand is raised in a fist, motioning it up and down; the universal sign for rubbing one out. I glare at him. He laughs harder. I bring my hand up to my face and give him the finger right as Mom's eyes shift to me. "Did you just give me the finger?"

  I shake my head quickly. "No."

  "I saw it," Mark says. "He totally did, darling."

  Mom rolls her eyes just as Lucy squeals. She sits up and holds her e-reader to her chest. "Cameron, they just had their first kiss!" She sighs dreamily.

  "Yeah?"

  She nods quickly, her smile mimicking the excitement she feels. And it hits me—how different she is now compared to when we met. I wonder how much I have to do with that... if me being in her life has made that significant of an impact.

  "Ohhh," she coos, gripping her e-reader tighter. "I loved my first kiss so much."

  I laugh and put my arm around her, bringing her to my side. "Yeah?" I ask, my eyes never leaving hers.

  She nods again, and my heart tightens. I used to feel it a lot—that tightening in my chest. It took me a while to work out what it was; love—the kind of love that shouldn't exist for two sixteen year olds. It's almost too much. Too heavy. Too soon. I used to worry about what could be left. What is there to look forward to when you fall in this kind of love when you're so young? And then I worked it out. Forever. I have forever to look forward to.

  "These books are wrong, Cam. The way they describe first kisses..." She leans up and kisses me, not caring that Mom and Mark are in the room. "It's not even close to how I felt." Her smile begins to fade and a seriousness takes over. "I love you. You know that, right?"

  I look away from her. I have to. "I know, babe," I respond, faking a casualness to my voice. "I love you too."

  She throws the e-reader on the coffee table and wraps her arm around my stomach, moving in as close as possible.

  "Your book finished with a first kiss?"

  "No," she says, "I just don't see the point of reading and living in someone else's world when my reality is so perfect."

  ***

  Mark stands and stretches his arms, singing Johnny Be Good. When he's done belting out the chorus, he announces, "Time for Cam's movie!"

  "I thought we were watching Aladdin now?" Lucy says.

  Mark laughs. "She doesn't know, does she?" he asks me.

  I sigh, knowing what's coming next. "No."

  "Know what?" She sits up higher and faces me.

  Mom speaks up, her words meant for Lucy. "Your boyfriend's middle name is Aladdin. He hates it."

  Lucy lets out a snort before clamping her lips between her teeth. Her face turns red.

  I shake my head. "You can laugh," I tell her. "Everyone else does."

  So she does.

  And even now, when she's laughing so hard at me, the sound of it still makes my world stop.

  "Actually," Mark says, waiting for Lucy to quit laughing. "I want to show you something. Just us." He turns his attention to Lucy, who's now wiping tears from her eyes. "I promise to have your boy back soon."

  She nods, still trying to compose herself. "Take his magic carpet, it'll be faster."

  ***

  "Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?"

  He rests his forearm on the steering wheel and glances over at me. "Yes."

  "That's a shame. If you've been with Mom all this time thinking that you can replace me and take my place in her will—you've chosen the wrong girl. You've seen where we live, right? All that's left for me when she's gone is that Persian rug."

  "Dammit," he mocks. "All that sex for nothing."

  I gag. "That's gross, Mark. Don't bring that shit up again."

  His head throws back in laughter just as he pulls into his street. He parks in front of his house and kills the engine.

  "What are we doing here?" I ask, confused. I've only been here a handful of times since they started dating. I heard them once, arguing because he wanted us to move in with him. His house was a lot bigger. Not Lucy's house big, but much bigger than our old, tiny townhouse. Mom told him she didn't want me to have the instability. He lived further out of town, so I'd have to catch a bus to school. But it wasn't just that. She also said that she worked hard to build a home for us since Dad left, and she didn't want it to all be for nothing. He understood, but I have a feeling it wasn't the last time he asked her.

  "One," Marks says, facing me. "Don't talk shit about your mom. I'm with her because I love the shit out of her. You should know what that feels like. You have Lucy, and to be honest, I'm kind of jealous that you found her so young. I wish I'd found your mom first. I wish I was the one you'd call Da—" he cuts himself off.

  I blow out a nervous breath. It's rare we have serious conversations. Squirming in my seat, I wait for him to speak. All the words I wish I could say are stuck in my throat.

  "Second," he sighs, then shakes his head. "Never mind. Let me just show you."

  He presses the remote for the garage door and steps out of the car.

  I follow him into the garage and wait while he turns on the lights. The only thing here is a car, but it's covered. He glimpses at me quickly before slowly lifting the cover.

  My eyes bug out of my head. "Holy shit! Is this a—"

  "Delorean? Yup."

  "Holy shit!" I walk a full circle around the car. "Holy shit!" I'm so giddy I can't even contain it. "What?" I look up at him. "I'm so confused right now. Did you rent it?"

  He laughs quietly. "No." Scratching the back of his head, he continues, "I actually bought it a year ago." He pulls a set of keys off a hook on the wall. "I've been building it slowly, making some modifications. The last part came in a few days ago." He presses a button on the keyless remote.

  I watch in awe as the two doors rise. "Hydraulic doors!" I shout.

  He laughs again. "Pretty cool, huh?"

  I nod, too excited to speak.

  "Ta
ke a seat."

  I hesitate a moment, not sure that I want to touch and ruin anything, but then sense kicks in. "It's a fucking Delorean!"

  I sit in the driver's seat and hold the steering wheel, sure that my mouth is hanging open in shock. I wait for him to sit in the passenger’s seat before turning to him. "How come you've never driven it over?"

  "Because," he starts, his voice shaky.

  I take in the interior of the car and fiddle with the buttons on the dash.

  "Cameron."

  I look up to see him watching me.

  "I haven't driven it yet."

  "What? Why?"

  "Because it's not mine, Cam." He holds up the keys between us. "It's yours."

  My breath catches on a gasp. I don't speak. I don't move. I don't blink.

  He scratches his head again. "I got it and wanted to give it to you for your sixteenth birthday, but you got Filmore, which is fine, because it wasn't a hundred percent ready. Then I was going to wait and give it to you as a graduation present, but it's kind of perfect timing. Filmore's in heaven now and it's finally ready for you."

  I release the breath, still not fully understanding what's happening. "Does Mom know?"

  "Of course. I made sure to run it by her. She thinks I'm crazy, but even still, I think if she didn't approve I still would've done it."

  "Why?"

  He shrugs and looks away. "I don't know. I mean, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but you deserve something like this. I think your dad's kind of an ass for not seeing that, and not appreciating you. If I were your dad, I'd be so proud of the way you turned out. Your mom always says how she wishes she could give you more—"

  I open my mouth to interrupt but he speaks before I can get a word in.

  "That's the thing, Cam. You never ask for more than what's given. You understand and appreciate everything you have. Your mom—she never has to worry about you. You could have turned out a lot worse. Hell, you could have turned out like me." He laughs to himself, but I'm drowning in too many emotions to have a reaction. "I mean... I'd like to think that I had something to do with that—the way you turned out. Whether it's legal or not—to me, you're my son. And this is something I wanted to do." He blows out a heavy breath and stares out the windshield.

  I look down at the keys in my hand.

  We sit in comfortable silence as I let his words replay in my head. Then I say something that I've been too ashamed to admit to anyone but myself. "I wish you were my dad, too."

  He clears his throat.

  I keep my eyes cast downward, not wanting to let him see the tears building in them. "You've always been a better dad than him, and I don't ever see that changing."

  He clears his throat again, a little rougher this time. "Let's go home. You can pick up Lucy and cruise around a bit. I know this great, secluded parking lot. I used to take all the girls there when I was your age. We'd steam up the windows, if you know what I mean."

  I look up at him now, his smirk in full force.

  "I'm telling Mom," I state. Then I put the keys in the ignition, squeal like a girl when it turns over, and drive off... in my fucking Delorean. Bitches.

  ***

  She moans into my mouth and pushes herself closer into me. She's straddling my lap while I sit in the driver’s seat. It's the closest we've ever been, but the space in this car doesn't give us much choice. I have to thank Marky Mark for that. I remove my hand from her breast and move it down her stomach, feeling bolder than I ever have. I run a finger between her waist and the band of her skirt, a sign of what my intentions are. She whimpers and circles her fingers around my wrist, stopping me from going further. She pulls back. I drop my head on her shoulder.

  "I'm sorry," she whispers.

  I try not to show my true feelings. I'm frustrated. Sexually. Mark was right, I'm gonna have to take care of myself tonight. "It's fine, I'm sorry for pushing it."

  "You're not pushing it." She sighs and pulls as far back as possible. "I just have a thing about... you know?"

  My brows pinch. "No, Luce. I don't know. What?"

  She looks around the abandoned parking lot Mark told me about. "Vaginas," she whispers.

  "What?" I laugh.

  She slaps my chest. "It's not funny, Cam. Vaginas are weird."

  I laugh harder. "What the hell are you talking about?"

  "They're weird. They're like the ugliest things in the entire world. Floppy skin and flaps and holes."

  "Oh my God." I'm holding my stomach now, unable to keep my laughter in check.

  "Cameron!" she shouts. "I'm serious. I've seen the pornos under your bed!"

  I should be ashamed, but I'm too busy laughing.

  "Those vaginas aren't real! They can't be. And even if they are, they're still not something nice to look at. I can't even imagine what it would be like for you to see it, let alone touch it! TOUCH IT!" she scoffs. "I don't even want to touch my own. And believe me, I've thought about it." Her eyes are wide as she nods frantically. "Every night after these make out sessions we have... I want to touch myself. I really do. But all I can think about is floppy folds and random holes!"

  My face falls. "Wait. What?" Shit's no longer funny. "You want to touch yourself?"

  "Yes! All the time!"

  I push her off me, shove my hands down my pants, adjust myself and take her home.

  "It's not even curfew," she whisper yells as I push her out the door.

  I drive home, faster than what's legal, run upstairs, lock my door, and... well... you can guess. The mental image of Lucy touching herself brings me to the point of explosion...yes, explosion, in less than a minute.

  I call her as soon as I've cleaned up and don't bother lying about my actions. I tell her that I'm sorry for being vague, but not sorry for kicking her out, because if I didn't, something really, really bad could have happened. Or, something really, really fucking good.

  In my goddamn Delorean.

  Dammit.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  -CAMERON-

  "I need to pee," Lucy whispers. She wanted to get out of the house and spend some alone time so I took her to the movies.

  I peel my eyes off the screen and focus on her. "Babe, it's like the fifth time since the movie started."

  "I know." She kisses me quickly. "I'll be quick."

  She's gone less that a minute before her seat is taken by someone not her.

  "Tess." I nod, my eyes never leaving the screen. "What's up?"

  "Was that Lucy?" she says quietly.

  I roll my eyes. Before Lucy came along, Tess was my go to. When we were at parties, we'd always end up together. It never went further than kissing, although one time we got close. I've heard she tells everyone about me. Logan told me she still wants something to happen, even though she knows I'm with Lucy. I'm thankful word hasn't gotten to Lucy yet. She's made it clear more than once that she doesn't like sharing. "You know it is. What do you want?"

  She leans in closer, her cheap perfume invading my nostrils. "You've been together a while now, just thought you'd be done with her already. Honestly, I don't know what you see—"

  "Shut up," I bite out and face her. "Don't talk shit about Lucy. Ever. And you better go before she gets back. She's gonna be pissed if she sees you in her seat."

  She smiles. Like she's suddenly won a game I didn't know we were playing. "So she knows about me?"

  "No," I huff out.

  "She has no idea about our past?"

  I sigh. "We have no past. We made out a couple times. That's all."

  Her smile gets wider. "Then she has nothing to worry about, right?"

  "Cameron?" Lucy's voice pulls my glare away from Tess.

  I try to act cool, even though I'm already afraid of how the rest of the night will play out. "Hey babe."

  Tess giggles. "I was just keeping your boyfriend company while you were gone. You know? Reminiscing on old times." Her eyes shut and she starts humming.

  Lucy clears her throat.


  I swallow my fear.

  "Quit moaning like a dick deprived whore and get out of my seat." She crosses her arms and takes an intimidating step forward.

  Tess leaves without a word.

  Lucy reclaims her seat.

  I fail at stifling my laugh.

  "Shut it, Cam."

  -LUCY-

  "You don't think I know the shit she says about you two?"

  "I don't know what you want me to say!"

  We're both yelling on the drive home. It's our first shouting match, and to be honest, it's kind of liberating.

  "You should have told me! I shouldn't have heard it from people at school!"

  "There's nothing to tell!"

  "She was your girl before me! I think that's something!"

  "She wasn't my girl, Luce! I told you! There was no one before you!"

  "Oh, I'm sorry!" I exaggerate. "What I meant to say was she was your whore before me!"

  "That's not fair! I told you I'd been with other girls. That wasn't a secret!"

  "Screw you, Cam!"

  His face falls.

  And then he begins to laugh.

  "What the hell is funny?"

  He pulls the car over on the side of the road and faces me, his face contorted with his held in laughter.

  And I lose it. "Screw you twice! In your ass! With a chainsaw!"

  He all out laughs now—not even bothering to contain it.

  I try to get out of the car but the stupid door takes forever to lift.

  "Stop," he says, leaning over and closing the door before I can get out.

  "I'm sorry," he begins, but another laugh bubbles out. He tries to stop it before he loses control. This happens a few more times while I sit with my arms crossed and wait for him to settle. "You're just so damn cute when you're angry. It's kind of one of the reasons I'm so in love with you."

  I feel the tension leave my shoulders.

  Sighing, he eyes our surroundings. "Come here." He pulls on my arm and helps me across so I'm seated on his lap. Moving the hair out of my eyes, he kisses my forehead once. "Luce, if I could erase my past and wipe out all the girls I've been with, I would, instantly. But even if I could, it wouldn't make a difference. You’re the only girl that's ever mattered to me. The only girl that will ever matter. If you want, I can write a list so you can walk through town and call them all whores. I'll hold your hand and we can do it together. But it won't change the fact that you and I—we're above all that. What we have is bigger than all of it. Forever, remember?"