More Than Forever

by Jay McLean

  "We need to celebrate!" she says.

  My grin is instant. "How?"

  *

  It turns out that Lucy is a lady in the street and a freak in the bed. We didn't have sex for a few weeks after the first time because she was still physically healing. After the fourth time, she kind of got obsessed. Honestly, we both did. For a few months though, she was bleeding on and off. We went to see Dr. Matthews about it; he said it might be the effect of the Implonen. He took it out and we chose the IUD instead. Since then, she's been fine. Better than fine.

  "PULL MY HAIR!"

  I'd laugh but I'm so fucking close to coming that if I moved wrong, I would.

  "PULL IT!"

  "Okay!" I yell. I reach up and tug her hair.

  "FUCK YEAH, BABY!" She's on all fours, on the floor of the living room. "GRAB MY TITS!"

  I reach around and do what she asks, trying to not lose the rhythm of my pumps. Fuck, I love her like this.

  "RUB MY CLIT!"

  "I DON'T HAVE ANY MORE HANDS!"

  She grunts and starts slamming her ass into me. I feel her tighten and I know she's close. I try to hold off until I know she's done. When she starts, she growls and falls on her forearms, her ass in the air, ready for the taking. And I take it. Oh fuck, do I take it.

  ***

  "If you won't take my money, you should at least ask his dad!" Mark whispers loud enough that we can hear them in the kitchen from the living room of Mom's house.

  Luce and I look at each other while we sit on the couch. She smiles sadly and takes my hand.

  For two weeks since we got the acceptance letter, this is what it's been like. After the first few days of searching for grants and looking into financial aid, we gave up. Mom's savings were only enough to cover a semester, if we were lucky. And that didn't include housing. That meant a two and half hour drive each way.

  "His dad hasn't paid a cent to you guys ever," Mark continues.

  "That's because I never asked him to. And what's wrong with you? You think that the life I've built for us isn't good enough? Huh? Do you think we need that money?"

  "I hate this," I whisper.

  "I'm sorry."

  Mark responds, his voice getting louder, "I just don't understand why you won't let me pay! Why are you so stubborn that you won't accept help?"

  Lucy squeezes my hand. "Maybe you can speak to Mark? Maybe he can lend you the money."

  I shake my head.

  Mark adds, "He's my son, Heather! Whether it's on paper or not! You don't want to move in with me, that's fine. I let it slide. But I don't understand why you won't let me take care of my family!"

  Mom cries.

  So does Lucy.

  Mark apologizes.

  I reach for my backpack and pull out the community college catalogs I've collected and start going through them.

  Lucy kisses my cheek. "I'm so proud of you," she whispers, her breath shaky.

  "Thanks," I tell her. "But it was all for nothing."

  ***

  It's been three weeks since I got the letter, and a week since I sent off the applications for community college. I plan on going there this weekend to look around for any job opportunities.

  "Dad invited us for dinner tonight," Lucy says with a grimace. "I guess to celebrate me getting into UNC. He said he's been waiting for you to get your letter. I guess he's just been hesitant because you can't go, but he still wants to take us, and your parents too... I mean your mom and Mark."

  "Of course," I tell her. "Did he not want to do it earlier because he was afraid I'd be upset or something?"

  She shrugs. "I guess."

  *

  We meet Tom and the rest of the boys at one of the few family restaurants that can accommodate a family their size. Mom and Mark have worked out their issues about him paying. He doesn't understand why we're both so stubborn, but he's accepted it and moved on. I think we've all moved on from the high of me being accepted in the first place.

  "I have eleventy-three sticks hidden in Filmore," Lachlan, Lucy's youngest brother, the baby of the family, tells me from his position on my lap. After Filmore died, Tom got it towed to his house and Lachlan's been using it as his own little clubhouse since.

  "Eleventy-three?" I ask him. "That's a lot of sticks."

  He raises a finger, and then curls it, asking me to bend down to his level. Once my ear is to his mouth he whispers, "I have to hide them from the others. Don't tell."

  I chuckle. "Okay, dude. I swear it. I won't tell a soul."

  He grins from ear to ear.

  "Cameron's an amazing secret keeper," Mom tells him.

  "It's true," Mark agrees.

  Lachlan's eyes narrow from me to Mom then back again. "Your mamma's pretty," he says. "I'm gonna marry her."

  I laugh.

  Mark chimes in, "Sorry, Lachlan, she's all mine."

  "Did you call dibs?" he shouts.

  Mark rears back in surprise.

  "DIBS!" Lachlan yells. "I WIN!"

  The table erupts with laughter, just as a tray of champagne is set on the table.

  Tom hands them to Mom, Mark, Lucy and I, and then takes a seat. "Before we do a toast to my little girl," he says. "I wanted to mention something real quick."

  "Daddy," Lucy whines.

  "Daaaaddy," Little Logan mocks, rolling his eyes.

  That gets laughs.

  "It's okay, Luce, it's not about you, or how you used to eat your boogers until you were seven."

  She gasps.

  We laugh again.

  "Actually," Tom continues, looking right at me. "Remember that sketch you made one night? The night when I was panicking and thought I'd lost the deal?"

  I nod. "The development ones?"

  "Yeah. You remember how I told you that I took it to the developers and they loved it? After that I had to find an architecture firm to do the proper blueprints. I went to Bradman. Have you heard of them?"

  I nod. "Yes sir, they're one of the biggest architecture firms in the state."

  He smiles. "They didn't change much with your plan. They actually thought it was amazing—what you managed to do from just your eye alone."

  Lucy holds my hand under the table, smiling as she does.

  Tom adds, "Anyway, we're working together again on a new development so I had a meeting with them today. I was there for two hours while I waited for all these kids who were in and out of Mr. Bradman's office. When I finally got to meet with him, I asked him what it was about. He said they were experimenting with a scholarship program—"

  "You got him an interview?" Mom cuts in, her eyes wide with anticipation.

  Tom huffs out a breath. "No," he says, and I can see the instant disappointment in Mom's eyes. "See that's the thing," Tom continues. "I mentioned you, asked if he remembered that sketch. He didn't realize that you were still in high school. He thought you were in college, already on your way..."

  He sips his champagne while we all wait for him to continue.

  "And?" Lucy says, sitting on the edge of her seat.

  "And they don't want an interview," he deadpans.

  My shoulders slump in disappointment.

  "They said they don't need it. Your work is miles above the other kids. They want to offer you the scholarship, Cameron. But just for the first year, until they decide if it's beneficial to the firm. It includes housing, and they—"

  "The whole first year?" Mom whispers.

  I can't breathe.

  Tom nods.

  Mom drops her head in her hands. "I'm sorry," she sobs, getting up from her seat. "Excuse me."

  And then she's gone.

  "Babe." Lucy gets my attention.

  "Did you know?" I ask her, still unable to breathe.

  She shakes her head. "I swear it. This is the first I'm hearing about it."

  I pass Lachlan to her and leave the restaurant. I need fresh air. I need to think. I need to clear my head.

  "Cameron," Mom says. I didn't even know she was out here. S
he throws her arms around my neck and pulls me down to her.

  She cries.

  And I let her.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  -CAMERON-

  "Dammit, Lucy, I've wanted to get you out of this stupid prom dress ever since I saw you in it.”

  "You think it's stupid?" she asks, unlocking the door to the cabin.

  It only takes a second before I have her up against the wall and I'm inside her.

  "I like this dress," she moans, her head throwing back against the wall.

  I grab her ass and lift her so I can slide in better.

  We're both buzzed. No. Beyond buzzed. We're drunk, and having sloppy sex. It's one of my favorite types of sex, because with her, there are types of sex.

  Some nights, she wakes me after reading something and wants to try it.

  I swear to God I'm the luckiest asshole in the world.

  "I think there's too much of this dress," I tell her, my mouth sucking hard on her neck.

  She rips my shirt open, and buttons fly everywhere. One hits her in the eye. "Ow!" she winces, holding her hand to it.

  "You're too rough, Lucy. You need to learn to control yourself."

  She scoffs. "I'm rough? What about that time you tried to shove it in the wrong hole?"

  I laugh onto her nipple, now in my mouth. "You were begging for it!"

  "Not in my ass."

  "One day."

  "Why did you tell everyone I take it there?" she moans. I don't know how she can talk with me slamming into her like this.

  "Because I'm drunk."

  "Valid. I read about it though, you have to start with your pinky finger or something. And then two, and then you can probably do it. Wait. For your sized cock, maybe three or four fingers."

  I stop and straighten up so I can look at her. "Are you trying to make me come early?"

  She laughs and nods.

  "I'll do it right now, Luce," I warn.

  She laughs harder. "We gotta be quick, they're all out there waiting. They're gonna know what we're doing."

  I carry her to the bed and throw her down, then remove the rest of my clothes.

  "I'm sure they already know what we're doing, babe."

  She struggles to slip her dress off. I wait impatiently. When she's done, she lies on her back, her legs already spread.

  I climb on top of her and enter her with ease. "You're getting loose," I joke.

  "Maybe your dick's getting smaller."

  We laugh. "We must be wasted," she adds.

  "Speak for yourself, I can go all night with this shit."

  "Cameron?"

  I look down at her face, her eyelids heavy from the alcohol. "Yeah, babe?"

  "I know I'm drunk, but thank you for never cheating on me. That Mikayla girl must be a mess. And Jake's good people for taking her in like that. I'm just glad I've never experienced that."

  "Um..." I pause mid thrust. "You're welcome?"

  "She's cute... Mikayla... if we ever have a threesome with another girl, I'd want her to look like that."

  I start thrusting again. "Keep talking shit like that and I won't be able to take care of you, Luce."

  Her hands run slowly down my back. "I'm your girl, Cameron. It's your job to take care of me. Always."

  -LUCY-

  Cam and I make everyone breakfast the next morning, everyone but Jake. He wanted to make sure that Mikayla got home safe.

  We sit in the living room and eat, talking shit about the night before. Logan looks around the cabin. We've spent a few nights here the last year, drinking and being stupid. Out of all the things I'm thankful for about Cameron, his friends are one of them. When Claudia left, just after my mom passed away, I struggled with the idea of having no friends. But his friends took me in, made me part of the group. Now, I don't remember a time where they weren't part of my life. Even Logan, who I thought was a dick, has become one of my best friends. "What are you guys going to do when we get to UNC?" he asks.

  "What do you mean?" Cam says.

  "I mean you won't be rooming together. You guys basically lived with each other the last year or so. What happens there?"

  Cam and I glance at each other quickly. We've spoken about it, but try not to think too much. We know we'll miss each other, but we also know that we'll do absolutely everything we can to spend every spare second together. "We'll make it work," Cam says, kissing my temple.

  Logan's phone rings, breaking the tension. "Waddup?" he answers. Then his eyebrows bunch. "Yeah, bro. Hang on..." He places his phone on the coffee table and sets it to speakerphone. "Okay," Logan says.

  "Umm..." Jake's deep voice comes through the speakers. He sighs heavily into the phone. "It's about Mikayla..."

  *

  I excuse myself and go to our room. I hear the others say goodbye and then the front door closing. I cover my head under the sheets and continue to cry.

  The bed dips, cold air hits my back, and then Cameron's warm arms are around me. "Lucy?" he whispers, his voice hesitant.

  I sit up and face him. He leans back against the headboard and pats his lap twice. I climb on him, knowing my face is a mess from all the uncontrolled tears.

  "You're hurting?" he asks.

  I nod.

  "Talk to me."

  I try to settle my sobs, my voice coming out strained when I say, "I think I should reach out to her. I think that I should be a friend. Maybe she doesn't have any left after what happened. I don't know. I just feel like I should do something."

  My breaths are broken with each inhale. I cry hard and loud into his neck.

  "I know, babe," he says. "It's because you care so much. You feel everything so intensely. You hate seeing devastation around people, and you want to be their rock. You've always been like that."

  I pull back and look in his eyes as they scan mine.

  "Even before your mom died you took care of your family. And when she passed, you took care of your brothers, your dad, everyone but yourself. You wanted to be the glue that held them together, but you're allowed to break, Lucy. If you want to be her friend, I'll support you, but you have to let her break."

  I nod and cry again. I can't stop crying. "You're my rock," I tell him. I rub my eyes with the back of my hand. "I don't know how I would have gotten through any of it if you didn't show up every day. If you weren't there..."

  "Shhh." He pulls me closer and rubs slow circles on my back, the way he always does when I'm upset. "Don't think about it."

  "But I have to!" I lean back again so we're face to face, because we need to have this conversation. "I'm not being petty and insecure, Cameron. This is real life, this isn't a fairy tale where everything ends with a happily ever after. What if we go to college and things change? What if something or someone gets between us? What then?"

  "Stop," he says, his eyes glazing. "I hate thinking about this."

  "I know, but we need to."

  "No we don't, Luce. I love you. You love me. That love's forever. Nothing else matters. I promise."

  "You can't promise that. You can't predict the future. You can't tell me that we'll be forever when you don't know."

  He lets his head fall back onto the headboard and looks up at the ceiling.

  "I'm serious, Cam."

  "I know, babe," he sighs, then straightens up and holds my head in his hands. Our eyes lock for the longest time. Like we're taking each other in for the first time, or the last. It could have been seconds. It could have been hours. Then he speaks, "I love you, Lucy. I'll always love you, even if you don't know it. So... even if forever isn't eternal, I promise to love you for our forever."

  I try to sniff back my sobs, but it doesn't work. "And what happens if our forever is short? What if something happens?"

  He kisses me softly, for so long, that I almost forget why I'm crying. He pulls away, but not enough that his lips leave mine. "Then I will love you, for our forever more."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  COLLEGE – SOPHOMORE YEAR

&nb
sp; -CAMERON-

  This girl has been looking at me strange since class started. I'd seen her before but we've never spoken. I see her get up from the corner of my eye and start walking toward me. She dresses differently than Lucy, not in a bad way. Just different.

  The scraping of the chair next to me has me flinching, but I don't look up.

  "Hey," she whispers.

  "What's up?" I try to keep my tone even. Not unfriendly, but not friendly either. I don't want her getting the wrong idea.

  "You're Cameron, right?"

  I nod, my eyes staying fixed on the plan I'm working on.

  "I'm Roxy."

  "Cool."

  She laughs quietly. "It's okay," she says, "I'm not trying to hit on you, if that's the reason you're being an asshole right now."

  I can't contain the chuckle that escapes. Finally lifting my eyes to hers, I ask, "What's up?"

  "You work at Bradman, right?"

  "Kind of. It's unpaid. They kind of float me so I can study here."

  "Oh." She smiles with excitement. I can't tell if it's genuine or not. "That's kind of a big deal."

  I shrug. "Not really. It's kind of an 'I know people who know people' deal."

  She continues to smile, her thick long black hair swaying with her nods.

  My eyebrows draw in. "Why?"

  "Oh," she says, laughing again. She laughs a lot. Not fake, I don't think. More like carefree. "I applied for a job there. It's not much but it's good experience. I was hoping maybe you could..." she trails off.

  "Could what?" I ask. I know what she wants but I feel like being a dick.

  She smacks my arm with the back of her hand and rolls her eyes. "You're going to make me ask?"

  "Yup."

  "Fine," she sighs. "Dearest Cameron, if you would be so obliged to perhaps offer a good word in response to myself, that would be more than fabulous. You are also welcome to state the fact that I have fairly large bosoms, if you so wish."

  My eyes drop to her tits quickly. And then I curse myself for doing it.

  She laughs again. "I was kidding about the tits, but hey, whatever works. Thanks, Cam."

  She spins on her heels and walks away.

  "What's your name?" I shout after her.

  "Roxy!"