Why CAN T I Be A Cougar??

by Marsha Easley

  "So mami, do you like younger men?" said Carmelo with a wink to Sabra. Carmelo was a handsome, 5-foot 11-inch Latino who was checking Sabra out.

  "Well, I don't know ... not if they are young enough to be my son, and did you just call me mommy?

  They all laughed at this.

  "I hope you all can hold your own on the dance floor because we've been looking for dance partners," said Elaine.

  A DJ had replaced the band and was spinning a record that they all knew oh too well.

  "They’re playing the Cupid Shuffle! I know if you from Michigan you can hustle! Come on everybody!" shouted Sabra, as she headed towards the empty deck floor.

  They got up and joined the multitude of people doing the shuffle. The guys danced pretty well, except for Tyrone, who had no rhythm at all and kept bumping into people. When the song was over, they realized it was time to get dressed and meet the ladies for lunch.

  "Well, it was nice meeting you guys," said Sabra. "Thanks for the drinks," said Lillian, "and thanks for Cupid shuffling with us," said Elaine.

  "Thank you, ladies," said Frank." This is turning out to be a great cruise already."

  "Yes, it is," said Sabra, as she looked over the top of her sunglasses at Carmelo.

  Just then the Casper Slide came on.

  "Uh oh. One more dance guys," said Sabra. They all went out on the deck and did the Casper Slide line dance with the rest of the guests. They clapped when the song ended, and said their good byes once again.

  On the way back to their cabins, Lillian asked, "Thought you didn't like young guys, Sabra? You were doing an awful lot of flirting with Carmelo, and he was definitely into you!"

  "I don't like them too young, but I don't want nothing old either, and it don't cost nothing to look, and I sho liked looking at them tenderonies," she said rubbing her hands. "Besides, we need them so we can have some fun on this ship. I'm not trying to marry one. But we can surely have some fun!"

  "Girl, you crazy. Let's go get dressed and eat!"

  Yvette

  Yvette and Vanessa were walking on the main atrium deck. There were many dressed up people taking individual, couples, and family pictures throughout the ship on their own and with the ship’s photographers. Many people were just exploring and enjoying the ship. Suddenly, a group of children stampeded by, almost knocking over Yvette and Vanessa.

  "Slow down before you hurt yourself or somebody,” Yvette shouted.

  They didn't listen and kept on running. A few seconds later, a scream was heard; one of the boys had fallen and was grabbing his foot in agony.

  Yvette, the caring nurse, rushed over to help.

  Let me see your foot," she said.

  "No! It hurts!" cried the boy.

  "I’m a nurse and I need to look at it. Just trust me." The sobbing boy reluctantly let go of his foot and allowed her to examine it. As she gently touched it, he screamed out.

  "I think you twisted your ankle. It doesn't appear to be broken. See if you can wiggle your toes." The boy’s mother appeared and ran to his side. "Just do what she says," she said to her son.

  The boy grimaced but managed to make his toes move a little.

  Just then the ship’s doctor parted the crowd that had formed and bent down to check on the boy.

  "Hello, I'm Doctor Shaker, the ship's doctor."

  Now Yvette didn't think she was into foreign men, there were lots of them at the hospital where she worked, but this was the finest doctor and man she had seen in a long time. His accent was smooth, as was his skin, teeth, hair ... everything. He appeared to be in his fifties, believed he was Indian, and was handsome as hell!

  Vanessa, seeing that Yvette was speechless, jumped in and said, "Doctor, my friend here is a nurse," as she elbowed Yvette.

  "Oh, I'm sorry. Doctor, I believe this young man sprained his ankle. I don't think it’s broken," said Yvette.

  The doctor examined the boy and said "You made a great prognosis. Thanks for your help. And your name is???"

  "Yvette. Yvette Morganfield."

  "Nice meeting you and thanks again."

  A wheelchair arrived and the child was taken to the doctor’s office.

  "Good job, girl. And wasn't that doctor fine?" asked Vanessa.

  "Damn! That man's name should be doctor feel good, cause he sho made me feel good," said Yvette. Vanessa high-fived her.

  "That man was gorgeous. I bet his patients pretend to be sick just to see him, and suddenly I'm not feeling very well," said Yvette.

  "So, you need some sexual healing right now?" asked Vanessa.

  "Oh yeah!" They laughed and headed to their cabins.

  Fun Time

  That night the dining room was festive, there was a three-piece mariachi band strolling throughout the room, and the ladies were seated at a table of ten with four other ladies. They made their introductions to them. The bachelor group they had met earlier were seated a few tables over, the ladies observed. The ones from the deck waved at them.

  "Those guys really clean up well," said Sabra.

  "Yes, they do," said Elaine, "but their swimsuit bodies weren’t too shabby."

  "Nice," said Vanessa.

  "Quit looking, girl. You already booed up," said Elaine.

  "I'm not dead and the rule is look but don't touch, and I haven't touched one of those guys yet," she laughed.

  "She ain't about to bust a grape. Her eyes are only for Greg," said Julie.

  "You are right about that! I miss my boo boo!"

  "One of those guys look familiar, but I can't place where I know him from," said Lillian again.

  "It's possible. They are from Michigan," said Elaine.

  Their waiter came and took their orders. Everything from the salads to the dessert was delicious. The ladies ate till they couldn't eat anymore.

  "Y'all better leave room for the midnight buffet," said Julie.

  "Really? More food? I don't think I can eat another bite," said Sabra.

  Just then the waiters and additional staff came over to the table with two cakes. They started singing Happy Birthday to Sabra in all those mixed up accents. She clapped her hands in time to the singing and the whole dining room joined in.

  They set her cake down in front of her and then one in front of Vanessa and began singing happy wedding to the tune of Happy Birthday to Vanessa. There was a picture of a bride and groom, with the words Bon Voyage on it.

  "Whose idea was this?" asked Vanessa.

  Everyone pointed at Julie.

  "I should've known. Well, thanks everyone," said Sabra, "but I'm so full that I can't eat a bite! Can you pack it up for me?"

  "Yes. And would you like yours packed as well?'" the waiter said to Vanessa.

  "Yes, please."

  Their cakes were packed and the ladies took them back to their rooms.

  It was now time to check out the clubs on the ship.

  "I'm going to the casino," said Julie. "I will meet you all at the club later."

  "Oh no you not. Bring your gambling ass on and come party with us. It's Sabra's birthday and Vanessa's shower. You can do that later," said Lillian.

  She pouted and said, "Dang. You ain't the boss of me," and started laughing. "Alright, let's go show these folks how to party."

  They looked into one club and saw a bunch of teenagers in there with loud house music playing.

  "Definitely not for us," said Yvette.

  They went a little further and heard an old classic playing, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” by Cyndi Lauper.

  "At least that music is a little better," said Vanessa.

  "Come on ladies, they playing our song. Quit acting like you don't know it and like it."

  They went into the club and ventured straight out to the dance floor. They had danced together for about four records straight when the bachelor group came in.

  "We finally got somebody to dance with," said Sabra. "Carmelo, get your cute behind out here and come and dance with me. I'm tired of dancing with these broad
s."

  The guys headed toward the ladies.

  "Ladies, this is Carmelo, Frank, Nate, Louis, and Tyrone, right?" introduced Sabra.

  "Good memory," said Frank.

  "I haven't met the other two," said Sabra.

  "This is Ralph, and he's ..."

  "Phil? Phil from the plane?" said Lillian.

  "Lillian? Now this is weird. Are you stalking me?" he said with a smile.

  They all looked at the two of them.

  "You two know each other?" asked Yvette.

  "Well, sorta kinda. We were on a plane together from California, “said Lillian.

  "This is the guy that you didn't give your phone number to? Are you crazy? " said Sabra.

  "Yeah. She dissed me. I asked if I could take her out to dinner, and she pretty much told me to get lost," said Phil.

  "That's because you said you were in a relationship," said Lillian.

  "No, I didn't. You said I was in a relationship. I said I was seeing somebody," said Phil.

  "Same thing,” said Lillian.

  "No, it's not!" interjected Sabra. "Well hello Phil. Please excuse my friend. Why don't you two discuss it on the dance floor," she said as she pushed the two of them out on the floor.

  They looked at each other, shrugged, smiled, and started dancing.

  "This is really strange," said Phil.

  "I know, it's a small world, but this is bizarre."

  "No, it's fate -- can't you see that? You and I belong together. Just listen to the song," said Phil.

  She listened. It was “You and I Belong Together,” by Mariah Carey.

  "Oh really? Just like that." He grabbed her and pulled her to him.

  "Yep, just like that."

  He smelled good. He was fine. She was all in.

  After they finished dancing, they all left to check out the other clubs. In one club there was a singer named Rhonda Hughes who was playing the piano and singing "What's Love Got to do with it". She sounded just like Tina Turner. They went in and listened to a couple of songs, tipped her, then went on to check out some other of the other clubs. While they were walking, they passed a small bar where karaoke was being performed.

  "Ooo, let's go sing!" said Sabra.

  "Let's not," said Lillian.

  "Come on, this might be some fun. We don't know these people on this ship," Sabra said.

  "You game, guys?" asked Lillian.

  "Sure, why not?" said Carmelo. I can sing a little."

  They went to the DJ and found the song book.

  "It's an omen. Girl's Just Want to Have Fun is in here. Let's do it, ladies."

  "Cool, I'm in," said Elaine.

  Carmelo said, "I need one of you ladies to do “Endless Love” with me. I know one of you can sing."

  "Are you serious?" said Sabra? "I'll do it!"

  The other ladies looked at her like she was crazy.

  "Hey, I can hold a note, and when you are buzzed, it sounds really good. I be throwing down in the shower!" She laughed. They knew she could hold a note, knew she sang in her family and church choir, but have never heard her really sing alone.

  "Alrighty then. Let's do it," said Carmelo.

  The lady’s song came up and they clamored to the mic. They sounded awful, but they had a lot of fun performing.

  A few more acts performed, and then it was time for Carmelo and Sabra. She was a little tipsy and a little nervous, but she went to the mic with Carmelo.

  Carmelo started singing, "My love, there's only you in my life, the only thing that's right."

  The ladies’ jaws dropped open. His voice was smooth and wonderful. He could really sing.

  Now it was Sabra's turn.

  "My first love. You're every breath that I take ..." and the group was once again floored, she could really sing!

  By the time the song was over, everyone in the room gave them a standing ovation. People who were just passing by even stopped to see who was performing.

  "Girl, you been holding out on us all these years?" said Lillian.

  "Wow! You guys could make a record!" exclaimed Ralph.

  "Thanks, everyone," said Sabra, "but Carmelo, you can really sing. Oh my God!"

  "Yeah, he's our closet Luther ... been telling him for years he needs to make us some money recording," said Tyrone.

  "Thanks everyone. No autographs right now,” he said jokingly. "I need another drink, and Mami," he said to Sabra," you blew me away!"

  She blushed. Sabra blushing, thought the ladies.

  "Thanks. Let's go drink!"

  Julie

  Julie ditched the girls and guys, and went to the casino. When she arrived, she noticed her handsome, green eyed friend, Ramone was there playing blackjack and doing very well.

  "Well, hello Ramone. Looks like you found your game."

  "Yeah, those slot machines didn't like me. Do you play blackjack?" he asked.

  "Not really. Only on the computer."

  "I'm going to have to show you how to play with real people. It's not that big of a difference,” said Ramone.

  "Ok, maybe later. Right now, there is a machine calling my name. Can't you hear it?" she put her hand to her ear, “Juuuulieee!" she sang. He laughed.

  "If you don't mind, I would like to join you in a few minutes."

  "I wouldn't mind at all."

  He stopped playing cards after about an hour, and went to talk to Julie. They had drinks and talked for hours before they turned in.

  Bahamas

  The next morning, they were in the Bahamas.

  Vanessa looked out of the window. "We're here. We're in the Bahamas!" She went out on the balcony and shouted to the winds, "We are here!"

  The ladies stumbled out of bed and began dressing. "It's too damn early to be getting up. I'm exhausted," said Elaine.

  "Nobody told your butt to be up twerking all night long," laughed Vanessa.

  "You got your nerve," said Elaine.

  "I haven't danced that much in a long time. My ass is too old for this, but man, I had fun," said Vanessa.

  "Those guys were so much fun. I can see why you like those young’uns," said Elaine.

  "You only thirty-five yourself, you just act old. And why do you all keep acting like I look for young guys. I didn't go out looking for a young guy, he found me. The rest is history."

  "I feel you, but most of the guys I come across in my age group are so immature. It's been hard finding a man who will accept a woman with two kids and two baby daddies’, that is ready to settle down. I'm sure that the person I end up with is going to be older. I don’t have time to be playing with these noncommittal boys, and when I whip out our line, "If I give you some, then we go together," they are really going to get to stepping!'

  "You are so crazy," said Vanessa. “But I wish I had used that line before, and I kind of wished I would've waited a while before giving Greg some, but the chemistry was hot and it just felt right. I just wished his father would accept me ... maybe in time," said Vanessa.

  "You not marrying his father, so he's just going to have to deal with it. He loves his son, but his son has his own mind and his own life to live. Okay, I'm done, because we've all told you that. Let's get dressed and go see what the Bahamas has to offer."

  Since they knew they were going to be looking for a beach to chill at, the ladies put on their swimsuits and cover ups and grabbed their towels and bags in preparation of their day in the Bahamas. They went to the dining room, had breakfast, and were walking down the ship's gang plank by 9 a.m.

  The ship's photographer was taking pictures as they were exiting, and they stopped and took some fun pictures. As soon as they stepped off the plank, they looked for a cab big enough for all of them. They found not one, but several. The locals were running up to them, hoping they chose their vehicle.

  They chose a minivan and piled in.

  "Paradise Island, please," said Vanessa to the driver. "I heard that is the place to go, isn't that right, sir?"

  "Oh yes, pretty ladies.
" The driver said with a dreamy accent. "You want to go to the Atlantis?"

  "Is that the best place to go?" asked Sabra.

  "I heard it was," said Lillian.

  "Yes, miss. It is a very nice place. Very popular," said the driver.

  "Then Atlantis it is," said Elaine.

  "No problem mon," said the driver.

  The driver took them over a bridge across the Atlantic Ocean, the water as blue and clear as you see in the pictures of it, to the beautiful Atlantis resort. The ladies were awed by the massive pool, but opted for finding great spots on the beach. They were bombarded by locals trying to rent them umbrellas and chairs, and they each got one.

  Once they were settled, they ordered drinks from a waitress who went around the beach taking orders. They all decided to get Bahama Mamas, a sweet, frozen drink made up of rum, coconut liquor, grenadine, orange juice, and pineapple juice, blended with crushed ice. They were garnished with pieces of pineapple, cherries, and tiny paper umbrellas.

  "Let's have a toast for our girls, Nessa and Sabe," said Julie.

  They all raised their cups.

  "Here's hoping that you have a happy marriage, safe travels, a happy birthday, a wonderful retirement, and also a toast to our never-ending friendship," said Julie.