She did feel sorry for Darren. She pitied the way he was screamed at by his wife. Listening to Cindy yell at Darren and the children became so common even Pearl no longer jumped at the sound of her voice. Darren did what he could to stay out of her line of fire, moving through the house like a quiet mouse, as if hiding from a bone-crunching cat.
On the days when Granny would busy herself with bird watching or gardening, Pearl would sneak away before she was needed for dinner. She escaped to see Vernie, who was waiting on the front porch, fanning her double chin with a straw hat.
“My precious Pearl!” she exclaimed, “I was just thinking about you.”
By the look of the ashtray, she had been sitting out here a while. All Vernie needed for a good day were her two best friends, Virginia Slims and moonshine whiskey.
“Come and join me on this glorious day. Do you need a drink?” She slipped her apron off over her head, and Pearl could see the beads of sweat gather in a pool in the creases of her chin.
Pearl settled down beside her. There was such ease with Vernie, a comfort Pearl hadn’t felt with many people in her life. She could spend her entire day right on this porch, looking out at the beautiful landscape, and feel completely at peace.
“I’d love one of those,” she said, pointing to Vernie’s smokes. “Anything to drink other than whiskey?”
“Ahh, I thought you’d ask,” Vernie said with a wink. She stepped into the house, returning with a tall glass, frothy and bright. “Had this waiting for you.”
Pearl took a sip, grimaced, and then smiled. “I like it. What is it?”
“Had some tequila left over, so I whipped you up a little margarita, thought that was more your style.”
“Guess I knew the right place to go,” Pearl said, licking the foam and salt from the glass.
“I reckon you do, my dear.” She lit a smoke. “Virginia and I always look forward to your company. Oh, lordy, lordy, do you feel that heat, Pearl?” she continued, back to fanning the hot air from her face. “Summer sure is upon us now. One thing to know about us Oregonians, Pearl, is that we complain when it’s too wet, and we complain when it’s too hot. We just can’t seem to be comfortable, and it takes a toll on the spirit to be that unsatisfied all the time.”
Vernie took a sip of her drink, and with the lift of one finger from the glass, pointed out to the scene in front of them. “Sometimes, on days when I get lonely, I love to sit out here and rekindle my spirit. And if I’m lucky, the Lord will shine a little piece of heaven on me, and today it is you.”
Pearl smiled at her friend. Her first and only friend. Vernie had a heart too big for her lumpy soft body. She had seen so much in her fifty-eight years, and that was without leaving the farm. Silence was not a word Vernie knew well, and small talk was never an excuse to fill dead air. Vernie wanted to know it all, wanted to dive deep into what made Pearl tick, and in return share her own stories. Pearl sat back with a smile, taking it all in. All she ever needed was Virginia and Vernie to take her mind away.
“Have you called your father?” Vernie asked, turning serious.
“No,” Pearl lied. The truth was she had. She dialed the number and let it ring three times. By the fourth, her father answered, but her courage was gone. She hung up the phone just as her father said hello.
“Ahh,” Vernie said. “You know, I once went three months without speaking to my father. And we lived on the same land.”
“Were you angry with him?”
Vernie nodded. “Very. But then you realize that anger doesn’t hurt anyone but yourself.”
Pearl stretched her legs over the steps of the porch. “I’m not angry at my dad. I’m just afraid he’s angry with me.”
“You don’t think he would approve of you being here with Roy?”
Pearl shrugged. “Probably not. I guess I just don’t know what to say. I don’t know when I’ll be back to visit. And I don’t want to disappoint him by saying that.” Pearl paused, taking a drag of her cigarette. “I guess I’m scared if I hear their voices, it would be too much, that I’d want to go home.”
Vernie tilted her head in Pearl’s direction. “That sounds like a whole lot of uncertainty, if you ask me. You can’t find home with one foot out the door.”
“I have no intention of leaving here,” Pearl defended herself.
Vernie shrugged. “No one ever does.” She sipped her drink. The ice clinked in the glass. “Let me ask you this.”
Pearl cocked her head at Vernie’s pause.
“Is Roy the best guy you know?”
Pearl turned her eyes away and focused on Roy’s small frame in the field. He couldn’t see her from here, but she loved sitting on the porch watching him work, feeling him close, and knowing he was working hard for her and their future.
“He’s the only guy I know,” she answered.
Vernie chuckled lightly. “I have a hard time imagining that. Beauty like you would be knocking all the men to their knees.”
Pearl’s cheeks reddened. “No, it’s not like that. I haven’t been in school since elementary years. No one pays attention to me.”
“Well, Roy did. You met him.”
Pearl finished the last of her drink, the cool liquid freezing her head. “At a gas station.” She laughed. “How romantic is that?”
She had been short $3, and Roy had chipped in. He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. And he seemed to be just as smitten with her. They talked for hours by the Chevron sign, and by the time Roy said he wanted to see her again, she already knew he was the man she would marry.
“Seems as good a place as any,” Vernie said, lighting another cigarette.
“That was two years ago, when I was sixteen. My dad tried to keep us apart in the beginning, told me Roy was too old for me. There was something about Roy that just never clicked with him. But I couldn’t stay away from him.” Her lips curved up at the memory. “When he said he was moving back to Oregon, I just knew I had to go.”
Vernie wrapped her arm around her shoulders. “And I’m so very happy you did.”
Pearl smiled up at her. “Me, too.”
Vernie gave her a tight squeeze before releasing her to light another smoke.
“What about you, Vernie, where’s the great love of your life?”
Vernie’s smile dropped. The cigarette went unlit as she set the lighter down. “Ah, yes. Well, that is a story for another time, with a much stiffer drink.”
Pearl tilted her head toward Vernie, watching the shadows drift across her face. She was about to ask more, but the sound of a car engine disrupted her thoughts.
“Do you hear that?” Vernie asked. “Why, if I know one thing, it would be that Cindy Blackwood needs a favor.”
Cindy’s white Honda pulled into the driveway. Two bouncing children bolted from the car. Cindy stuck out a leg. Her shorts so short there was almost no point in wearing them. Her tight red tank top clashed with her hair and showed just enough cleavage to believe she was doing more than a little grocery shopping.
“Oh, Vernie, I need help!” she called out.
“Got that right,” Vernie whispered to Pearl.
Cindy glared at Pearl’s light giggle. “I have to run into town. Can you watch the kids?”
“You know I’m always here to help,” Vernie said as the kids rushed up the steps and pounced on Vernie. “I’m awfully busy today, need to trim some hedges, but Pearl is here with me to help.”
Cindy kept her gaze tight on Vernie. “I would really appreciate it if you watched them.”
Pearl glared at Cindy. If Vernie approved, she’d walk right up and spit her face.
Vernie nodded. “I’ll be here.”
Cindy shut the door, tearing up the engine. “Oh, Vernie, you are just the best!”
The car sped off, leaving a cloud of dust down the gravel road. The kids ran up and down the stairs, chasing each other and tackling Vernie.
“All right, all right,” Vernie said with smile. “You two up and to the
table. You should have a healthy snack for once.”
Vernie stood and made her way to the door, the children already inside. Pearl sat, staring out at the speeding car.
“Why does she hate me so much?” Pearl mumbled.
Vernie paused, turning from the doorway. “Why, Pearl, I thought you would have figured that out by now.”
Pearl looked up to see Vernie smile widely in amusement. “That nasty woman doesn’t like you ’cause you up and stole her man.”
Vernie walked through the doorway, shutting the screen door behind her. Pearl sat there, stunned, her cigarette left burning in her fingers.
“Roy, when do you think we will get our own place together?” Pearl asked as she watched him dress. It was dark, and even in the coolest of summer nights the chicken coop seemed to suck all of Oregon’s hot air inside. The coop cleaned up surprisingly well, and yet the stench of rotted wood mixed with chicken feed and muck hung in the humid air. Roy had found old carpet in the shed to cover the ground with mix-and-match rugs to fill in gaps the carpet didn’t cover. He had one recliner chair with an old black and white TV set, and the same dresser from his childhood. The bed was the best part of the room. Big and full, brand new, with downy pillows that were just too hot for summer but perfect for cold winters. Lying on top of the fluffy comforter, Pearl fanned her naked body with Roy’s hat.
“What’s the rush, baby?” Roy cocked his head to look at her, yet his gaze always seemed to wander over her bare skin.
“I moved here to be with you. I just feel like I never get to see you at all.”
The nights she spent with him became fewer and fewer. They had gone on one date since they arrived, and it was merely on a drive to an abandoned field, where they made love in the daytime in the back of his truck. She believed in Roy, trusted him completely, but after her talk with Vernie today, she began to wonder what Roy had left behind when he moved to Arizona. It made her sick to think Roy had ever been with Cindy, and it was a question she did not dare ask him. Now that it was clear that Cindy was still in love with Roy, they needed their distance. They needed off this farm to be in a place where she knew he always came home to her.
“Baby, you see me all the time.” He buttoned his Levi’s, the jeans that made her skin shiver. “Is this about me going out with my buddies tonight?” Roy cracked open a beer, taking a gulp and placing it on his makeshift vanity.
She shook her head, her eyes wandering to the stack of empty beer cans in the corner. She tried not to be concerned about the growing pile. She just never knew Roy liked beer as much as he seemed to on the farm.
“No, I don’t care that you go out with your friends.”
“I told you that you could come, but you wouldn’t have any fun. Just a bunch of lazy guys hanging around.” Roy checked his reflection in the hanging mirror over the window. He fluffed his black hair out of his eyes, and wet the sides to keep off his ears.
“It’s okay,” she answered, not wanting to be the girl who made her boyfriend stay home.
“What, then? You wanna take a trip or something? Go camping or to the beach, just the two of us? Do you really want me to ask Darren for some time off?” He crawled back to her and nestled his face in her hair. “I will if it’s that important to you.”
Pearl smiled through the hesitation in his voice. “Oh, yes. I would love that.”
She squealed in delight and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her.
“Okay, okay,” he said, easing himself off the bed. “You know I gotta go. You’d better get back before Granny realizes you’re gone.” Roy took one last swig and tossed the can into the heap in the corner.
Pearl stood up, reaching for her yellow flowered sundress. Roy came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Whoa, looks like someone has been enjoying Granny’s cooking,” he said, giving her belly a little pat.
Pearl looked down at her flat stomach. Shyly she pulled the dress over her head, covering her naked body from Roy. She tried a smile with a light shrug. “Afraid I’ll become a fat farm wife?”
He laughed. “Might be a little late for that.”
He gave her a quick kiss, still chuckling to himself. He walked out of the door, leaving her standing in the middle of the chicken coop with her fingers digging into her skin, pushing her belly back in.
CHAPTER 6
Three months after her arrival in Oregon, Pearl sent home her first letter. She had written many letters, but not one of them made it to her father and Billy. She spent a week taking photos of the farm, capturing the alluring beauty of the open fields and high pine and oak trees. She especially enjoyed taking photos of Granny baking pie, and Vernie pruning her lilies. The children posed expectantly, acting as perfect angels with smiles that could fool anyone. Even Cindy gave her one shot, over the shoulder with her long red hair sweeping the middle of her back. And of course there was a photo with Roy. She posed happily with him as the picture of a perfect couple, as well as action shots of him and Darren hard at work on the tractor and tending the cattle. With the printed photos in hand, all that was left was to write the letter.
She told her father and Billy of the beauty of Oregon, how it lay right next to California, so the weather was always sunny. The beaches were hot, and she loved to swim in the ocean. It was a life of luxury, with nothing to do but find ways to pass the day away. She lay in the fields reading books she always wanted to read, played games with the children, and helped Vernie in the garden. She promised she missed home, but knew that here with Roy was her destiny. He was building them a future, a home of extravagance where she could hire house cleaners and cooks. She couldn’t wait for Billy and her father to visit—they were welcome any time. There was plenty of room. She was sure Roy would build them a house, too.
And yet through all of these promises of hope to see them, somehow she forgot to send the letter with a return address.
She dropped off the envelope at the Mullington post office and walked into Fitch’s, the only grocery store in a twenty-mile radius. List in hand, Pearl knew better than to ever venture from it, since Granny always checked the receipt. She had been doing Granny’s shopping for the past month, once a week on Friday afternoons. She craved this time. The simplicity of shopping was nice, but getting out of the house was even better. She sometimes forgot an item just so she could return the next day.
“Hey, Pearl.” She turned to the familiar voice.
“Hey, Benny,” she answered. “Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”
Benny Fitch was the owner’s son, only a couple years younger than Pearl and still in high school, which had begun the week before. He was a gangly boy, sweet but awkward, with brown shaggy hair and round glasses over hazel eyes. His clothes hung on him a couple sizes too big, and his feet were the size of both of Pearl’s put together.
“Ya, out early today. Only have morning classes this semester.” He grabbed for the can of olives out of Pearl’s reach and tossed them in her cart.
Pearl felt a twinge of jealousy at hearing of his ease with school. There were no short days, no terms, or much of anything fun when it came to her homeschooling.
“Hey, my dad says…”
Pearl tuned him out as her attention was directed to the swinging door, or, more accurately, the girl entering through the door. She couldn’t have been any older than Pearl, and yet the bounce in her step and kick of her hips placed her worlds ahead. Her long dark hair sprang in curls covering her shoulders and down her back. She was beautiful, like someone Pearl expected to see in a movie, not in a small town in the middle of nowhere. There was something so striking about her that Pearl couldn’t turn her eyes away. The girl caught her staring and smiled.
“Hey, Benny Fitch,” she said, sliding up beside them.
“Hey, there, Sammie,” he replied, his cheeks blushing as her arm grazed his.
“Hot day out, huh?” She smiled coyly.
“Unusually hot, heard it’s supposed to be in the nineties.
You’d think it’d be cooling down for fall.” Benny let his eyes glide over Sammie’s tight tank top and short white shorts.
“Wouldn’t doubt it. I can’t remember a time when my thighs dripped with so much sweat.”
Benny gulped loudly as Pearl’s own gaze landed on Sammie’s legs.
“What it would be like to be droplets of sweat on those thighs,” Benny said, before realizing it was out loud. His face flushed as he turned his head away.
“Oh, Benny!” Sammie giggled, and she gave Pearl a quick wink, her only acknowledgement that she’d noticed Pearl standing there.
Benny cleared his throat. Pearl was finding this all too amusing and smiled at his stammered question.
“What, what can I do for you today, Sammie?”
“I wanted to come by and tell you that Jesse Holmes is having a party up on Sis More Hill tonight, and I’d really like it if you’d come.”
Benny crossed his arms over his shoulders, his confidence coming back. “You want me to come to a party with you?”
She nodded her head. “Of course I do.”
“Well, all right.”
“I suppose we will need something to drink, don’t you think?” she asked, twirling a curl around her finger. “And I’d really like some smokes to make sure I drink plenty.”
Benny threw his hands up. “Ah, damn it, Sammie, you know how much trouble I got into the last time I sold you cigarettes! If I get caught again, my dad says he’s going to send me away to the army.”
Sammie leaned into the nervous Benny, her breasts resting on his arm. “But your daddy ain’t here today, Benny.”
Benny bit his lip while thinking. “He just knows these things. Hey, Pearl, you’re eighteen, aren’t you?”
Pearl hadn’t moved since the girl walked in.
“You’re name is Pearl?” The girl smiled at her. “What, are your parents some kind of old hippies?” Her eyes widened. “Ooh, look at those lips! I would kill for your lips!”
Pearl Page 5
