Randall Pride

by Judy Christenberry

  That suited Toby. He would help Elizabeth on and then follow her. He didn’t want to be stuck with helping all the other women. Before he’d be able to get to her side, she’d be surrounded by the other men.

  The rest of the evening, they leaned against each other in the hay and talked to their neighbors. Toby couldn’t remember when he’d spent a better evening.

  The last half hour of the evening, however, a cold front blew through. The wind picked up, and its sting grew colder. Toby pulled Elizabeth against him, wrapped her inside his coat and huddled with her until the ride ended. Though they were still cold, Toby felt warmth inside him. He would’ve gladly taken another half hour with Elizabeth pressed tightly against him.

  They ran for the car as soon as their feet hit the ground. This time Toby took the wheel and Elizabeth didn’t protest. He warmed up the engine while they waited for Lonnie and Rich to say good-night to the women they’d found.

  “Man, that heater feels good,” Rich said as they slammed the doors behind them. “I didn’t know a norther was on the way.”

  Toby said, “I heard Uncle Pete say something about one tomorrow. I guess it got here faster than expected.”

  “I’m glad I’m heading south in the morning. I’m going to Reno for the big rodeo,” Lonnie said.

  “You won’t be much warmer there,” Toby warned him.

  “Warm enough. It’s in the valley. I’ll be gone by the time you get up, Elizabeth.”

  There was an awkward silence, as if he expected Elizabeth to plead with him not to go.

  She smiled over her shoulder and said, “I hope you have a safe trip, Lonnie. And I hope you win. We’ll be watching for the results.”

  “I’d have a better chance if I could take Cocoa with me.”

  “Your regular ride will have recovered from the sprain, Lonnie. You know that,” Toby reminded him.

  “Yeah, but Cocoa is better.”

  “I know, but I’m training Buster. He’ll be ready next year.” Toby wasn’t going to send Cocoa off with Lonnie. He tended to be careless with his livestock. It was all right as long as Toby was there, but he wouldn’t betray Cocoa’s trust by loaning him to Lonnie without him there to care for him.

  “Some of the other guys were talking about getting you to train for them, too. I hope you don’t.” Lonnie added, “Promise me?”

  “Can’t do that, Lonnie,” Toby said. “I’m thinking about starting up a business. I’ll train horses and maybe even train riders. Make a little extra cash.”

  “Like you need it. Being in all those ads must pay a pretty penny.”

  “Yeah, but if you win this season, you’ll begin getting some offers.”

  “You giving it up?”

  “Not necessarily. I’ll listen if someone calls, but it’s not my favorite thing to do.”

  Rich laughed. “Yeah, right. Getting cozy with those glamorous models must be real tough.”

  Toby stole a sidelong look at Elizabeth, wondering how she was taking the conversation, but her face was turned toward the window. “It’s harder than you think,” he finally said.

  He pulled to a halt by the house. Elizabeth was out first, and she didn’t stop until she reached the porch. Then she turned suddenly, leaned toward Lonnie and kissed his cheek before he knew what she was doing. She then wished him a safe trip. By the time he caught his breath and tried to say something, she had disappeared into the house.

  Lonnie stood there holding his cheek. “I guess she’s not going to miss me,” he said with a sad face.

  Rich slapped him on the shoulder. “We’ve all enjoyed your visit, Lonnie.”

  Toby knew that wasn’t what Lonnie wanted, but it was a nice gesture on Rich’s part.

  “I’ll let you know how Buster’s training goes. You just keep winning. Come on, let’s hit the sack. I’ll even get up early with you in the morning.”

  Because he was going to be glad to see the last of Lonnie.

  TOBY HAD been sure Lonnie’s going would be a good thing. He wouldn’t have to protect Elizabeth from Lonnie’s lecherous ways. He could turn his attention to work. He could concentrate on important things, like training Buster.

  It was good work. He enjoyed it. But after three or four days of it, he realized it didn’t satisfy him. And he had absolutely no connection with Elizabeth. No excuse to grab the seat next to her. No reason to guard her at night. No need to touch her.

  Well, that wasn’t true. He had a need. He remembered the last half hour of the hayride with pleasure and warmth. And need. To hold her against him, sharing a good time, almost as one.

  What was he going to do?

  That question popped into his mind while he was riding on Thursday and caused him to miss a calf he was trying to rope. He took a lot of razzing from his family about missing. It even wounded his pride, but he knew the reason. It wasn’t that his skills were going bad. No, it was that his mind wasn’t clear.

  He gathered his rope and roped the calf clean as a whistle, silencing the teasing. But the question wasn’t as easily silenced. What was he going to do? He couldn’t live in a constant state of near-arousal, his mind elsewhere. Cowboying carried heavy consequences if you did it haphazardly.

  “You all right, son?” Jake asked a few minutes later as they met at the campfire someone had built to heat the irons. They were branding the late calves that had missed the spring roundup.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “Something on your mind?”

  Toby stared at Jake. It was scary how often in his youth his father had read his mind. It seemed he still had that ability. “Yeah.”

  “If you want to talk, you know where I am.” Jake didn’t wait for an answer but mounted and started working again.

  Toby grinned. Yeah, he’d always known where Jake was. And that he’d listen. What a gift the man had given Toby. A father who cared and would always listen.

  But the whole point of avoiding Elizabeth for the past seven years, of promising himself he’d leave her alone, had been to keep his passions a secret from Jake. Hadn’t it?

  The emptiness in his head scared him. Had it been something else? He’d thought he hadn’t wanted to shame Jake, and he didn’t. But was there something else?

  He couldn’t find an answer, and Uncle Chad yelled for him to come help, so he swung up on Cocoa’s back and shoved all those questions to the back of his mind. He had work to do now.

  At dinner that night, he kept an eye on Elizabeth. Not to protect her but to judge his own reaction to her. Maybe he’d imagined this whole attraction thing. Maybe… No, it was still there. He still wanted to be by her side. To talk to her, to touch her, to hold her forever. Damn, that was definitely real.

  He’d never even kissed her! Maybe she’d be a lousy kisser. Would he still want her? Oh, yeah. He could teach her. Maybe—

  “Boy, you gonna eat my mashed potatoes or sleep?” Red yelled at him.

  Toby snapped his head up to discover most of the people at the table, his family, staring at him. “Uh, sorry. I guess the week off made me soft.” Then he took a bite of the offending potatoes and chewed determinedly.

  When he got up to help clear the table, B.J. put a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to help if you don’t feel well, son.”

  “It’s not that, Mom. I can help. I just have some thinking to do.”

  He didn’t get any thinking done during the clean up because Elizabeth was helping tonight. Since she was the only female of the second generation at home, she organized her male cousins. Toby ended up beside her at the sink, rinsing the dishes she’d just washed. Their hands frequently touched, making him want more.

  “Don’t drop it, Toby!” she warned him as she passed him a platter. He’d been trying to avoid her touch to reduce his frustration level.

  He firmly grabbed the platter. “I won’t.”

  “Are you missing Lonnie? I thought you’d have plenty of guys around with all the cousins.”

  “Yeah, I do. But, in som
e ways, having Lonnie here was different.” I don’t have to worry about these guys seducing you.

  “It’s kind of lonely for me, being the only girl. Without Caroline, Victoria and Jessica, all I have are you guys.”

  He heard the loneliness in her voice, but he couldn’t offer to be her best friend. That wouldn’t work. So he only nodded.

  When he finally escaped to the Pad, even the guys were wanting to know what was bothering him. After assuring them he was fine, he withdrew to his room and threw himself down on the bunk. He had to find some answers to his questions. Most specifically to the one question: What was he going to do…about Elizabeth?

  He’d always told himself that while there was nothing illegal about their marrying, it would be frowned upon socially. And he didn’t want to bring any shame to the Randall name.

  True, but most of their neighbors knew the truth of their relationship. He didn’t think they would be scandalized. Would his father think it was a bad idea? Why hadn’t he ever asked him?

  Because it was too great a risk.

  That answer seemed to pop up out of nowhere and Toby lay there, contemplating it. Why? What was he risking?

  Several things entered his mind, but he dismissed them. Finally, it came down to the greatest risk of all: losing his family.

  It was always risky to pursue someone you love, to risk your heart. But if his family, and most especially Elizabeth, rejected his heart’s desire, then he’d not only lose her but his family as well.

  His beloved family.

  Oh, his mom wouldn’t refuse to speak to him. But coming home to the big family, arms wrapped around him, wouldn’t be possible. It would be too awkward.

  Chad and Megan would avoid him. Elizabeth would find other places to be when he came back. His male cousins would welcome him to the barn, feel pity for him, but he wouldn’t be oldest cousin, world champion rodeo rider, someone to emulate and admire. He would be poor Toby.

  Toby leaped to his feet and began pacing the room.

  Was Elizabeth worth such a sacrifice? Especially when he had nothing to convince him she would welcome his advances?

  After all, it wasn’t like he could kiss her and see if she responded. If she slapped his face, he couldn’t avoid her for a couple of weeks and it would blow over. He was her cousin!

  He sighed and rubbed the back of his head. Had he stayed away from her for seven years hoping the feeling would fade? And what was this feeling, this wanting, that persisted without any encouragement for so long? Chemistry? It certainly couldn’t be constant contact. He’d stayed away.

  And yet, the minute he’d seen her, felt her pressed against him, her welcoming kisses on his face, it had leaped out of control like a spark striking a brushfire.

  All he had to do was kiss her, and he’d set another brushfire of family response that would either burn away the undergrowth that confused everything and make a wonderful future possible, or set a flame that would destroy his future as a Randall.

  Looking out at the dark night, staring at the twinkling stars, Toby Randall faced a horrible truth.

  He was a coward.

  Chapter Twelve

  Elizabeth sighed.

  It was Saturday. Her free day. Her day to get caught up on chores. Her day to take stock of her situation and make plans for a new direction.

  Her day without Toby.

  He’d gotten a phone call yesterday demanding his presence in Denver today. He’d left before daylight so he’d be able to make the shoot to redo a magazine ad. So he wouldn’t keep the gorgeous models waiting.

  He was spending his day putting his arms around expensive supermodels, and she was sitting around moping.

  That thought threw her into a frenzy of activity that by lunch had her laundry done, her room cleaned, the entire downstairs vacuumed. Her mother protested the vacuuming because several women came from town to do the basic cleaning every week, but Elizabeth had energy to burn.

  At lunch she sat down with Red, Mildred, her mother Megan and Anna.

  “Are you feeling all right, dear?” Megan asked.

  “Yes, fine. Just a little restless.”

  “I guess this weekend is dull compared to going to Denver and seeing the rodeo,” Red commented.

  “I think it was the shopping more than the rodeo that caused the excitement,” Anna said. “When I took the girls to Denver to shop for school, even Torie was excited. Jessica is always excited about shopping, even here, of course.”

  Of Elizabeth’s two younger girl cousins, Jessica was very feminine. Torie was quieter, more studious. Elizabeth grinned. “I can believe that. And the stores in Denver are exciting, but I don’t need to do any shopping for a while.”

  “Too bad,” Red said. “’Cause you could’ve gone with Toby again today.”

  She’d thought about it. But she’d decided that it wouldn’t be a good idea. She didn’t want to become too obvious, tagging after Toby at every opportunity.

  With the entire afternoon to get through, Elizabeth resorted to what she used to do when she had a problem. She decided to go for a ride.

  An eagerness filled her. “I’m going to go for a ride.”

  Her mother protested, “But it’s cool out today. And the weather’s a little unsettled. Are you sure?”

  “I’ll check the weather before I head out, Mom. And I’ll be sure I’m in early. I’ll be in way before the guys. I just need a little fresh air.”

  Red and Mildred added several warnings that she dutifully listened to, then she asked, “How about you, Aunt Anna? Don’t you want to warn me, too?”

  Anna chuckled. “No, Elizabeth. You probably know more about horse-riding than I do. But be careful.”

  “I will. I’m going to take old Buttercup. She’ll keep me safe.” The horse was a buckskin that had been retired a couple of years ago. Her gait was steady and to be trusted. And Elizabeth knew just where she wanted to go.

  As kids, the cousins used to go camping over the first mountain pass, on the back side of a little mountain. She could take a snack and break her ride. She’d be able to think there.

  “Red, could you fix me a snack?”

  “You bet, honey. Cookies? An apple?”

  “I think I’ll be bad and have cookies, but I’ll need something to drink. I’m going to change. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  Half an hour later she was in the saddle, headed west. What a good idea. She drew in the clean air, filling her lungs. Not that the air was bad at the house. Not at all. But she had to share it with so many people. She loved her family. They were all supportive, loving. But there were so many of them. And she couldn’t share her problems with them. They wouldn’t understand.

  She wasn’t sure she did herself.

  But she couldn’t go on like this. Only happy when she was with Toby. Even then, when he was upset with her, she wasn’t happy. Which didn’t leave much time to be happy. On the hayride, the second half had been wonderful. She had ridden in Toby’s embrace. She could’ve kissed his chin, or—or even his mouth. His lips were so tempting, so strong.

  “I’m sounding like a teenager with raging hormones, Buttercup. Don’t worry. I promise I’m older than that.”

  But lately she was beginning to wonder.

  Fortunately Buttercup knew the path. Elizabeth only had to correct her a couple of times. Otherwise, she let her mind drift over her relationship with Toby…and what she was going to do.

  She was almost to the point where they’d camped, a grassy area wedged between two rock formations. There were several trees. They’d always called it their fort.

  She was smiling, thinking of those carefree days, when an antelope bolted from behind a nearby rock, startling both her and Buttercup.

  Buttercup was frightened and reared. Normally Elizabeth could’ve handled her reaction, but she hadn’t been paying attention, and she immediately tumbled off the horse. She landed wrong on her left foot and pain surged up her leg.

  Worst of all, instead of
calming down, Buttercup turned and ran…back up the mountain path toward the ranch.

  TOBY CHECKED his watch. It was three o’clock. His foot pushed a little harder on the accelerator. He wasn’t sure where his sense of urgency came from. He’d been away from the ranch more than he’d ever been there in the past few years. So it wasn’t that he wasn’t used to being away.

  But for some reason, he felt a need to get home, to be sure everything was all right.

  He released the tension with a sigh as he pulled to a stop by the house. His panic must be for nothing. Everything looked normal.

  Then he caught a movement out of the corner of his eyes. He checked the area about the barn and saw old Buttercup. What was she doing out? Maybe she was looking for more food?

  He got out of the truck and went to put her away. If the storm he’d heard about hit tonight, she’d be grateful for the protection of the barn.

  When he got close enough to see that she was saddled, that tenseness returned. He checked her out for injuries and found none. Then he put her in the barn and headed for the house at a run.

  When he got to the kitchen, no one was there. “Hello?” he called. “Where is everyone?”

  Red stuck his head out of the bedroom off the kitchen. “We’re restin’, boy. Where’s the fire?”

  “Who went out riding?”

  Red grew more serious. “Elizabeth, why?”

  “Did she take Buttercup?”

  “Said she was.”

  “Buttercup is back, still saddled, but no one with her.”

  “What?” came Mildred’s voice, fear rising.

  Red came into the kitchen, tucking his shirt into his jeans. “You think she’s down, out there?”

  “Has to be. I checked the barn. But Buttercup was outside the corral. Did she say where she was going?”

  “Naw, but she promised to be back early,” Red told him, looking at his watch. “’Bout now I reckon.”

  He passed Toby and crossed to the door leading to the hall. He opened it and called, “Megan? Hurry down.” Then he turned to face Toby. “You going after her?”