In the After

by Demitria Lunetta

  “Thank you, Amy,” Dr. Reynolds said, his voice crisp.

  “If you remember anything else, let us know immediately. You can leave now.”

  I swallowed hard. “No.”

  Dr. Reynolds’s eyes narrowed, and next to him my mother’s mouth dropped open. Kay smiled. My mother recovered first. “Excuse me?” she asked as though she hadn’t heard me properly. “What did you just say to Dr. Reynolds?”

  “I’m staying to hear the plan.”

  “Amy, your presence is no longer required.”

  “This is what you have,” I told them. “Twenty Guardians against sixty-two armed thugs. You have synth-suits and technology, but they’re desperate killers who are herding the Floraes back toward us. They let hundreds die without blinking an eye. How are you going to patrol the entire perimeter of New Hope with twenty people?” I asked.

  “Cameras,” Rice said. “Can we set up cameras in time?”

  “We can try,” Gareth offered. “It will take too long to make a run to an electronics store; first we’d have to find one that hasn’t been ransacked. Maybe we can take the cameras from the research buildings and move them to the outer perimeter.”

  “That will alert them to what we know,” I warned.

  Kay stood up. “We need to deal with this now. If we spook them and they run away, we don’t know when they’ll attack again, or who they’ll tell about us. Next time, there could be a hundred armed thugs. We should take most of our people and wait at the place Amber indicated. We’ll catch them before they start to disable the emitters. We can have volunteers, trusted people, at certain strategic locations around the perimeter. They can radio us if anything looks out of place.”

  “I volunteer,” I said immediately.

  “Kay, what’s your opinion on us accepting my underage daughter’s assistance?” my mother asked.

  Kay looked at me and sighed. “She’s a child. She can’t help us.” I glanced at her and she gave me a hard look. Kay still didn’t want my mother to know she was secretly training me.

  “I agree,” Marcus said and, one by one, they went around the room and said that I was too young. Rice was the only holdout.

  “We need her,” he told the group.

  “There is not enough evidence to suggest you will have a major effect on the outcome, Amy.” Dr. Reynolds commanded everyone’s attention. “We cannot sacrifice our children to fear. We have made our decision. Please leave the room.”

  I forced myself to stay silent as I got up and walked to the door. Why did they get to decide what I could do? I was the one who spotted Amber and her brother. I was the one who got Amber to tell me all she knew.

  The door shut. I was once again in the dark.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  I take one of the pills Gareth gave me every morning. Along with being clearer, the memories are coming back more quickly now. I’m careful when I speak to the nurses and Dr. Thorpe, not to seem better or worse. I play nice, just as Rice advised. I’ve managed to fool them so far, even under the watchful lens of the cameras.

  I haven’t seen Frank around, but I notice Amber in the corner. I know it’s Amber now; she’s triggered a lot of memories for me. I go to sit next to her. No matter how I feel about her, she’s something familiar in this awful place.

  “How are you?” I ask a little resentfully.

  “I’m fine. Just fine.” She looks at me. “Are you a nurse here?”

  “No, Amber, it’s me, Amy.” I drop the attitude. “Don’t you remember me?”

  She stares at me. “You’re Amy. . . . You had a sister, right?”

  “That’s right. Baby,” I prompt.

  “Did they kill her too?”

  The blood rushes to my head as I panic. “What do you mean?” Rice said Baby was doing fine. Amber ignores me so I shake her shoulder. “Amber, what do you mean about them killing Baby?” I ask desperately.

  She looks at me sadly. “They killed my brother, you know. Then they put me in here. I thought maybe the same thing happened to you.”

  “Oh.” I try to relax, but my heart still races. “No, I don’t think I’m here for the same reasons you are.”

  “Then why are you here?” she asks.

  I glance around the room. In addition to the cameras and the watchful gaze of the orderlies, Dr. Reynolds has arrived and is observing us. I sit back, making my face passive.

  “I don’t know,” I whisper.

  Dr. Reynolds comes over. I do my best not to look as agitated as I feel.

  “Hello, girls.” He smiles at us. “I hate to interrupt, but it’s time for Amber’s treatment.” He holds out his hand for her and she takes it, almost eagerly. Dr. Reynolds leads her away without a backward glance at me.

  Where are they taking her? I stand to follow them, but the orderly is watching and I sit back down, on edge. I don’t want to think about all the things they could be doing to her. I distract myself by trying to remember again. There was another time I was being watched, not in the Ward, but in my mother’s apartment. I focus, willing my mind to clear and for the thought to become a memory.

  • • •

  I knew they would send someone to keep an eye on me, but I didn’t think it would be her. I knew they couldn’t spare a Guardian. I was hoping for a Minder, or someone who didn’t know me. My mother, on the other hand, was more than capable of seeing through my bullshit. Not that she was just sitting there watching me; she was working on her computer and talking on the phone. She tried to whisper so I wouldn’t hear, which drove me crazy. Even while engrossed in her work, she knew my every move.

  “Where are you going?” she asked, not bothering to look up from her computer.

  “My bedroom. Chill out.” While out of her sight, I grabbed the tiny headset I took from my synth-suit earlier and shoved it in my pocket.

  Baby, can you help me with something? I asked.

  Sure, what?

  Let’s go up to the roof and I’ll explain.

  I held Baby’s hand and approached my mother at her desk. “I can’t stand it in here,” I said. “I need some fresh air. I want to go up to the roof with Baby.”

  “Absolutely not,” she said absently.

  “Do you seriously think I would do anything to harm her?” I argued. “I just want to be outside, not cooped up.”

  “Fine, I’ll come with you.” She stood.

  “Mom, I kind of want to be away from you right now.” It sounded hateful, but I needed her to stay. She shook her head.

  “You can watch us go up,” I told her. “I wouldn’t leave Baby alone on a roof. Also, I don’t have any weapons and I don’t even know if you all changed the plan after I left the room. I’m many things, Mom, but I’m not stupid.”

  “Fine, Amy, go. If I find out you’re up to something . . .”

  I rushed out the door before she could change her mind, dragging Baby behind me.

  We found a spot next to the solar panels and sat down. Why are we up here? Baby asked. It’s hot.

  I know, but I want you to listen very hard for me and tell me if you hear anything strange.

  There are two people arguing downstairs about a broken cup. . . .

  No, I signed, I mean if you hear the emitters turn off again, or a truck . . . something weird like that.

  We sat on the roof and waited. I knew Baby was bored. Have you made a lot of friends at school? I asked her, although I already knew she had.

  She nodded and named them all, spelling out their names. I was impressed with how fast she’d learned her letters.

  Do a lot of your friends live in the dorm?

  Yes. Most.

  I worked up my courage and finally asked, Would you like to live in the dorm?

  She looked at me, surprised. I want to live with you and Adam.

  What if you can’t? I was a little ashamed because it was my decision that would land her in the dorm.

  Then I guess it would be okay. I’d get to be with my friends at least. She paused, stari
ng at me. Where are you going? she asked, worried.

  Nowhere. Next month is my birthday and I won’t be a red anymore; I’ll be an adult. I may not be able to take you.

  Why not? She stopped suddenly, tilted her head.

  What is it? I asked.

  A noise, like when we found Amber, only louder. She meant a truck.

  Where?

  She pointed and I grabbed the earpiece from my pocket and pressed the little button on the side. “Kay,” I shouted.

  “Owww, what? Who is this and why are you yelling?”

  “Sorry.” I lowered my voice. “It’s Amy.”

  “How did you . . .?”

  “Never mind. Look, Amber was wrong or they changed the plan. They’re not coming from the south. They’re northwest right now, near the lake. They’re in trucks.”

  “We’re on it,” she responded. The earpiece went dead.

  It only took me a second to make my decision. I hurried to the corner of the roof where I’d stashed a bag earlier. I took out the black clothes from the bag and hastily put them on.

  The creatures are back. I’m going to go help, I signed quickly. You stay put. You’ll be safe here.

  Baby nodded. I grabbed the last thing I stashed—my mother’s newly recovered Guardian gun. You just listen for Them and hide when They are near.

  She nodded again and signed, I know, Amy, like how we used to live.

  I made my way down the fire escape and hit the ground running, heading quickly toward the lake. On my morning jogs, it took about twelve minutes to get out there. I made it in ten.

  It took me a moment to understand what I was seeing. The Guardians weren’t fighting Floraes; they were fighting ordinary people. Where were the creatures? The Guardians were being careful not to use their weapons, trying to subdue the gang without killing them. I tucked my gun into my waistband and rushed toward the nearest Guardian in trouble. Even though he was in his full synth-suit and I couldn’t see his face, I knew it was Gareth, fighting three large men.

  I tackled the nearest assailant and put him in a headlock the way Kay had taught me. By the time he was knocked out, Gareth had already incapacitated the other two men. He tossed me a handful of plastic handcuffs and I cinched one around the unconscious man’s wrists.

  Flooded with adrenaline, I hit the ground and crawled forward on my hands and knees. Someone, a woman, tripped over me and I jumped on top of her, struggling to keep her down. Pressing sideways with all my weight, I managed to rock her onto her stomach. She groaned loudly as I shoved my knee between her shoulder blades and handcuffed her as quickly as I could.

  Crouching low, I made my way forward, more carefully this time. The trucks were now in sight, and a Guardian was trying to wrestle a man from the driver’s seat. The man got free for an instant and slammed the Guardian’s arm in the door. I recognized the resulting yell as Rob’s and I hoped his arm wasn’t broken. I was about to go help them when I spotted a group of Floraes in a cage in the back of the truck.

  I reached for the gun at my waist, ready to shoot, but the creatures were bizarrely placid. They stood almost still, rocking slightly as if in a gentle breeze. Creeping up to the cage, I peered closely at Them. The creatures were wearing headphones over their almost nonexistent ears, held in place with duct tape wrapped securely around their heads. This was how they did it? Noise-reduction headphones?

  Suddenly two gunshots rang out and I turned in time to see Gareth crumple to the ground. Behind me the Florae were going berserk. The gunshots were loud enough for Them to hear through the headphones. I glanced at the cage, which was holding, before I ran to Gareth.

  “Are you all right?” I helped him sit up, scanning for the shooter. Kay already had someone on the ground and was kicking him repeatedly in the ribs.

  “I’m . . . fine. . . .” Gareth told me between gasps. I pulled up his hood to examine his face. “The suit . . . stopped the bullets . . . but it hurts. . . .” He coughed loudly. “Hurts like hell.” He gingerly rubbed his chest and then tried unsuccessfully to stand. I helped him get to his feet and let him lean on me, supporting most of his weight.

  “He okay?” Kay asked, pulling off her hood as she jogged over.

  “I’m just peachy.” Gareth’s attempt to smile turned into a pained grimace.

  Kay looked at me. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  “I know. I wanted to help. . . . Are the Floraes secure?” They’d quieted down since the gunshots.

  “Yes, as long as they’re wearing that headgear. How did you know which direction the trucks were coming from?”

  There was no reason not to trust them, but I noticed Marcus hovering nearby. I motioned with my eyes toward him.

  Kay understood my hesitation. “Marcus,” she yelled, “you and the Elite Eight should do a quick run of the perimeter. Make sure it’s secure.” Marcus glared at her, but grunted an affirmative. After he’d gone, Kay turned back to me expectantly.

  “It was Baby,” I said at last. “She has extra-sensitive hearing.”

  “She heard the trucks?” Gareth asked, unbelieving. He winced slightly. “From halfway across New Hope?” I nodded. “Honey, that’s not extra sensitive, that’s supersonic.”

  I watched their faces nervously, hoping I hadn’t made a mistake.

  “Don’t worry,” Kay said, “we won’t tell your mother.”

  “Why would my mother care?” I asked uneasily.

  Kay and Gareth gave each other a look. “Believe me, this is something you do not want her to know. She would incorporate Baby into her Florae research.”

  My blood ran cold. “What? Why?”

  Kay frowned. “Listen, Amy, your mother only sees what’s good for New Hope.”

  I swallowed hard, pushing down my sudden anxiety. I was still shaking my head slightly.

  Kay reached past me, guiding Gareth to lean on her, relieving me of his weight. “You’d better hustle so you can get back before the director notices you’re gone,” Kay told me. “I’ll wait a few minutes to report in.”

  I gave Kay and Gareth a curt nod before I took off at full speed. When I reached my building, I hurriedly climbed up the fire escape and frantically changed into my jumpsuit on the roof. I quickly shoved my dark clothes and gun back into the bag. I barely had time to stash it before my mother appeared on the roof.

  “I guess everything went well,” I said, trying not to look nervous or guilty.

  My mother studied me. “Everything is fine, Amy. You shouldn’t worry about it. Trust me.”

  I smiled weakly, unsure. Kay warned me not to trust her. My own mother. Unconvinced, Baby and I followed her downstairs.

  The next morning, I caught my mother before she left for work. “What’s going to happen to Amber?” I asked. “Where’s her gang?”

  “Amber was released. The others were taken care of,” she said, closing her computer before I could see the screen.

  “Were they sent to the Ward?”

  “The Ward is where citizens can go to get the help they need,” she said irritably. “It’s not for criminals.”

  “Then were they expelled?” I asked, confused. What punishment would releasing them be when they already survived so well in the After?

  “No,” my mother muttered, annoyed. She didn’t want to tell me.

  “What about Paul, Amber’s brother? Is there any chance he’ll be released?”

  “No,” she said with finality. My mother wanted the conversation over.

  “Can’t you rehabilitate them?” I pressed. “There’s got to be some work they can do for the community, some way they can contribute even if they aren’t freed.”

  “No, Amy, there is no chance that any of them will live in New Hope.”

  “Why not?” I demanded, refusing to back down.

  She turned to me and sighed. “Because they’re dead. All of them,” she told me quietly.

  I looked at her, shocked.

  “Dr. Reynolds and I . . .” She rubbed her temples. “Some
times the people in charge have to make difficult decisions.”

  “Spare me the rhetoric,” I sneered.

  “Would you rather they were let loose on New Hope? Can you imagine the damage?” She tried to defend herself.

  I shook my head, sickened. “But you let Amber go.”

  “Dr. Reynolds will keep her under close observation. He said that she might eventually fit in here.”

  “Did he?” I asked angrily. “And is he the one who decided the others should die or was that you?”

  “Amy, I . . .” She moved toward me and tried to hug me, but I shook her off.

  “Dad protested against things he thought were wrong, like capital punishment.” I glared at her. “How do you think he would have felt about this? About New Hope’s policies? About forced psychiatric evaluations?”

  “It’s different when you’re responsible for the last members of the human race. We don’t have the luxury of your father’s kind of thinking now.”

  “It doesn’t help our numbers to sacrifice them.”

  “We collected their genetic material first. . . . We need a cohesive community here. It’s essential.”

  I looked at my mother in disgust and rushed out of the apartment, repulsed by her clinical detachment about what anyone else would call murder.

  • • •

  Rice hasn’t come to visit for a while—I think it’s been days—and there hasn’t been any word from Kay or Gareth. I try not to show my fear, but I’m becoming more and more nervous. I have trouble sleeping and Dr. Thorpe has commented on the dark circles under my eyes.

  I try to keep my mind busy. I watch the doctors, the nurses, the orderlies. I wonder which of them really think they’re helping us, and which know our treatment is an act.

  I also study the other patients. There are thirty on my floor. I sit in the common room and wonder what they each did to be put in here. I change seats to sit next to Amber. She doesn’t acknowledge my presence.

  “Amber?” When she still doesn’t move, I go on. “I saw you the other day.”