Ray of Light: The Days of Redemption Series, Book Two

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “I’m anxious for you to see it, too. Of course I am. But once we get there, it will be all work, and we’ll be surrounded by a dozen people at all times.”

  His gaze flickered over her lightly, almost like a caress, warming her insides and making her even more aware of the fact that there was much more between them than just friendship. “I want to spend a little bit of time with you first, Viola,” he said, his voice hinting of love and desire. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you, too.” She noticed that her voice had turned slightly breathless. Embarrassingly so.

  Grinning, he took her hand again. Squeezed it gently. “I can’t wait for you to fall in love with this place, Viola. I promise, I’m going to do everything I possibly can to make you fall in love with life here.”

  “Is that right?”

  He nodded. “See, the alternative can’t be considered.”

  “And what is the alternative?”

  “That you never want to come back,” he said simply. “That you decide that no matter how much you might love me, you don’t love me enough. That I couldn’t bear.”

  Don’t love me enough. The phrase wasn’t something she’d ever heard before, but it made sense. With all that had been going on with her family, she now understood that such a thing could happen. Relationships were all about balance. Balancing the good and the bad. What was easy and what couldn’t be borne. What was worth everything . . . and what was worth nothing at all.

  “I understand,” she said.

  Some of the hope fled from his eyes. She turned away, feeling slightly guilty. She knew she hadn’t given him the unconditional approval he needed.

  But she now knew better than to promise things she couldn’t be sure of.

  Chapter Nineteen

  It had been years since Amanda had been a true guest in another person’s home. Of late, life hadn’t given her any time for things like that. First, she and Wesley had had Regina, and all the time constraints that came with a new baby. Not a year after that, Wesley had been diagnosed with cancer.

  Her days had become a matter of survival instead of enjoyment. Each morning, she’d wake up with only thoughts about Wesley’s health and Regina’s needs filling her head. She’d jump out of bed and attempt to help them both as much as she could.

  The only time she’d made for herself was for sleep . . . and some days, she’d only given in to that grudgingly.

  She’d had no time for visiting friends or sipping tea or planting a garden or simply enjoying a good book.

  After Wesley went to heaven, she’d been too overcome with grief to do anything but attempt to get through each day the best that she could. On some days, her main goal, besides caring for Regina, was to try to last until bedtime before dissolving into tears.

  When the dark cloud of grief began to lift, she’d focused on Regina’s needs. Her sweet little girl had been as traumatized by her father’s death as Wesley’s parents and Amanda had been. She’d become withdrawn and nervous. Amanda had soon realized that only a steady, reliable schedule would help her. Regina had needed structure like most other small children needed naps or a favorite toy. She’d craved the same foods, the same activities, the same schedule day after day. A way of life that had no surprises, nothing to catch her off guard or make her worry.

  Amanda had been happy to oblige her. After all, that reliability had eased her grief, as well. Concentrating on filling a day hour by hour was far easier than contemplating a life without her husband.

  Which was why she couldn’t help but smile as she followed Roman’s mother down the hall. Even eight months ago, Amanda would have doubted that they’d be able to travel to a far-off state, visit with strangers, or sleep in an unfamiliar bed.

  To do all this because another man had caught her eye would’ve been unthinkable.

  God was amazing in His glory. Of that, she had no doubt.

  “This is your room,” Marie said as she opened the second door on the left. “I hope you will find it comfortable.”

  Amanda walked inside, finding a wide queen-sized bed covered with a thick ivory quilt in a double shoofly pattern. A small little trundle bed covered in a pink, white, and yellow fan pattern stood right beside it.

  Beneath her feet, wood floors glowed from years of care. And not a speck of dust could be found on the dresser or bedside table. Starched white curtains covered the window, and a pair of thick well-washed, soft-looking quilts lay over a rocking chair. The room smelled like lemon oil and Windex.

  It smelled like someone had gone to a great deal of trouble to make things nice for them.

  “This is a lovely bedroom. Danke,” she said politely.

  Her daughter, however, was far more exuberant. “Ooh!” Regina scampered to the small bed and clambered on top of it. “This bed is just right for you, Momma.”

  While Marie gasped, Amanda chuckled. “That is a gut joke, but I’ll take the bigger bed, if you do not mind.” Turning to Marie, she said, “We do appreciate your hospitality. I guess you can tell that staying here is a special treat for us.”

  “It’s our pleasure,” Marie said. “We were looking forward to meeting you.”

  She looked like she wanted to add something more—a whole lot more—when Roman appeared at the door. “Here are your suitcases.”

  “Danke, Roman.”

  After setting Amanda’s in front of her, he comically crossed the room toward Regina, acting as if her little suitcase weighed a ton. “What did you put in your bag, Regina? Rocks?”

  Her eyes widened. “Nee. Only my dresses and my nightgown. And my toothbrush, too.”

  “I was only teasin’ ya, Regina,” he said with a smile. Holding out his hand, he said, “Would you care to go to the barn with me?”

  She stilled. “Can I see the pikk?”

  “Of course. Sam the pig has been asking where you were.”

  “He has?”

  Roman looked at Amanda and smiled. “He’s been counting the minutes. Let’s go put on your cloak and go see him. And Chester, too.”

  “Who’s Chester?”

  “You’ll see. If you’re ready.”

  In answer, Regina slid off the quilt and reached for his hand. “Bye, Momma,” she said before walking with him down the hall.

  “Bye,” Amanda replied, feeling both relieved and somewhat at a loss. For so long, Regina had clung to her. It was a bit disconcerting to watch her daughter take another healing step forward into the world without her by her side.

  Marie watched the pair of them depart with something that looked very much like the shock Amanda was feeling. “I’ve never seen Roman like this, Amanda. He’s usually much more reserved.”

  “My Regina is, too.”

  “I’m glad they’re getting along.”

  “Me, too. Regina is mighty fond of Roman, and has been ever since he asked her if she liked ice cream, too.”

  Marie laughed. “My son always did have a sweet tooth.”

  “So does my daughter.” After sharing a smile with Marie, she added seriously, “I have to admit that I’m grateful for their friendship. Regina’s needed someone in her life who makes her laugh and smile.”

  “I believe we all do,” Marie murmured before sitting on the edge of the bed. “She is an adorable girl, Amanda. You must be so proud of her.”

  “She’s my pride and joy,” Amanda said, taking a seat on the padded chair next to the window. “With Wesley gone, I’ve kept asking God to help me raise her. I think He heard my prayers. I couldn’t have done much without His help.”

  “I’ve raised children, too. And, though I’ve often given our Lord the glory, I sometimes selfishly like to think we mothers have to take some of the credit for wonderful children.”

  Regina smiled. “Perhaps. But truthfully, she is an easy child. She has Wesley’s temperament. I got lucky in that regard.”

  At the mention of Wesley, Marie’s easy expression sobered. “I imagine the two of you have had a time of it. Both of you w
ere too young to lose a husband and a father.”

  “We have had a time of it,” Amanda agreed. Softly, she added, “Losing Wesley so young was nothing any of us could have anticipated.” However, she refused to dwell on it. Not any longer. “But we are doing better.”

  Marie stood up. “I’ll let you have some privacy, but I did want to take this moment and ask that you please consider our home yours. Feel free to help yourself to whatever you or Regina might need, whether it be more towels or a late-night snack.”

  “That is kind of you.”

  “It’s our pleasure. Roman is happy you are here, so of course we are happy, too.”

  “Danke,” she said as Marie walked out of the room. When she was alone, she closed her eyes and gave thanks to the Lord for bringing her on the journey, then lay down and rested her eyes for a few moments. Traveling with a four-year-old was not always easy, no matter how agreeable the child was.

  And leaving her in-laws hadn’t been easy, either. Marlene had tried her best to understand Amanda’s need to visit Roman and his family in Ohio, but Amanda knew she hadn’t understood Amanda’s feelings at all.

  Plus, Amanda had her own nerves to contend with. Over and over she second-guessed herself, and questioned her reasons for the trip.

  Then, once she felt like she had gotten her head on straight, she’d find herself worrying about Roman’s family. What if they didn’t like her? What if Regina acted up and they thought she was a naughty girl and, therefore, Amanda a bad mother? Would they think she presumptuous to come visit a man she barely knew?

  And then, just when she set her mind at ease about that, she’d start fretting about Roman. It had taken a huge leap of faith to take this journey all on the basis of a brief interlude and a series of long-distance phone calls and letters.

  It felt almost foolish to let such a short relationship dictate such a big step.

  Then, too, she’d feared Roman would seem different in his home surroundings than he had on vacation. She’d been afraid that he’d be cool to her. Distant.

  But he wasn’t acting distant, she reminded herself. He’s been warm and attentive and loving.

  Yawning, she let her mind drift back to their first sight of each other at the German Village Market. From the first moment their eyes met, all of her doubts drifted away. Right then and there, she’d felt his warm regard for her. And she’d felt drawn to his side, felt that ache inside her, the kind that she’d first felt with Wesley but had later pretended had been childish infatuation.

  But now she knew better.

  No, none of what she had feared had happened. Instead, everything was as good as it could possibly get. Surely nothing could go wrong now.

  With that in mind, she drifted off to her first easy slumber in five days.

  It was fun, seeing the farm through Regina’s eyes. She was fascinated with everything in the barn, from the scent of hay to the plow and other farm implements to the pile of horse manure.

  “That’s stinky,” she said, wrinkling her nose.

  “I agree,” Roman said.

  “I’m glad we ride bikes or walk where I live.”

  “So even your grandparents don’t keep a buggy and horses?”

  “Nee.” Gazing at Chester, she said, “I like your horses, though.”

  “This is Chester, and I do believe he likes you, too.”

  Her little face brightened. “You think so?”

  “I know so. Why, look at him watching you.”

  She lifted a hand about a foot, obviously wanting to touch the horse, but then thrust it back down to her side. “Is Chester soft?”

  “His coat is. Do you want to pet him?”

  “Will he mind?”

  “Not at all. Chester is a sturdy horse. And, like I said, he wants to be your friend.” Knowing that she’d like to pet his velvety nose best, Roman said, “Okay if I pick you up?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Here you go, then,” he said as he picked her up by the waist and held her securely against his hip. “Lean forward and give Chester a pat on his forehead.” When he saw that she was being gentle, with his other hand, he gently rubbed the horse’s muzzle. “See how I’m being careful here? Do you think you can rub him softly, too?”

  She nodded.

  “All right then. You try petting his nose.”

  Tentatively, she followed his example. He was rewarded with a beaming smile. “Roman, his nose is soft.”

  “It is indeed.” Just then, Chester shook his head as if he were nodding. “Look at that, Regina. He’s agreeing with ya, too.”

  She giggled, and the exuberant happiness warmed his heart, as did the realization that he was actually enjoying every minute in her company. He liked holding her and introducing her to his life.

  “Ready to get down and see the pig?”

  “Jah!”

  He’d just put her down when his grandfather appeared at the door.

  “I heard we had a guest, so I came to say hello,” his grandfather said softly.

  “Hi, Dawdi. This is Regina, Grandfather. Regina, this is . . . ” What should she call him? Mr. Keim?

  “Regina, you may call me Dawdi Aaron, if you’d like.”

  “But I already have a grandpa.” Regina looked worried, like she was about to do something wrong.

  “Lots of kinner have more than one grandfather,” he said easily. “Or, you could call me Aaron. I’m fine with that.”

  Roman tensed as he waited for Regina to make up her mind about his usually stern grandfather.

  “Do you know where the pig is, Dawdi Aaron?” she asked.

  His grandfather’s answering smile could have lit up the entire barn. “I know more about that pig than most anyone else. You want to see it?”

  “Uh-huh. Roman says he’s smelly, though.”

  “That’s only because Roman needs to give him a bath.”

  Regina’s eyes widened, then to Roman’s astonishment, she left his side and scampered to his grandfather’s. And to his greater amazement, his grandfather held out his hand to the little girl, and she took it like they’d been friends forever.

  Then, away they went, Regina asking him questions and his grandfather answering each one carefully. Roman followed slowly behind, trying to remember if he’d ever been so comfortable around either of his grandparents. He couldn’t remember a time, but surely there had been?

  When they reached Sam’s pen, Roman watched Regina grip Aaron’s hand tighter. “He’s a mighty big pikk.”

  “Yep.”

  “And he does smell.”

  “He does, but he can’t help that, I’m sorry to say. It’s a pig’s way to smell. They’re smelly by nature.”

  “My mamm makes me take baths. Sam needs one, too.”

  With a wink in his direction, his grandfather said, “You hear that Roman?”

  “I hear you, Dawdi.”

  Sam, not used to so much attention, lifted his head and stared at Regina, his beady dark eyes looking like he was sizing her up for his next meal.

  Sam was an enormous Yorkshire pig, and Roman prepared himself for Regina to back off quickly, maybe even be a little scared of him. As he walked to Regina’s other side, he pressed a comforting hand between her shoulder blades. “Sam is big and smells, but he’s not mean, Regina. He won’t hurt you.”

  “Can I pet him?”

  Aaron laughed. “I think not. He’s not one for companionship, unless it’s with the lady pigs. Would you like to see the hens now? I do believe we might find us an egg.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Roman, I’ll take good care of her, if you want to see if your grandmother could make us some hot chocolate.” Comically, he paused. “Do you even know what hot chocolate is, Regina, living down in the sun and sand like you do?”

  “I know what hot chocolate is.”

  “Would you like to have a cuppa with my wife and me?”

  “Jah.”

  Roman backed up a step. “I’ll go talk to Mommi. Oh, an
d Grandfather?”

  “Jah?”

  “Danke.”

  “Nee, Roman. I am the one who should be giving thanks. This little visitor of yours has brightened up my day.”

  As Roman noticed how Regina was beaming at Aaron, he said, “I think the feeling is mutual.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Edward opened a thick, heavy wooden door with a flourish. “And this, Viola, is our main office and meeting area.”

  As she stepped into the cool, large room with the cement floor, Viola took care to keep a smile on her face. It took effort because inside she was feeling slightly dismayed.

  Though she’d loved their visit to the beach and the rain forest, somehow, she’d hoped the exquisite sights would make her feel more comfortable and at ease . . . even though she was in a foreign country.

  Oh, she had found a number of things awe-inspiring. Her first view of the ocean had been mesmerizing, and she’d been intrigued by the beautiful trees and flowers that had surrounded them.

  But it had also been a bit overwhelming.

  Actually, more than a bit. She was realizing that she’d been terribly sheltered, living her whole life in rural Ohio. Experiencing a new place was far different from reading about it.

  What she really needed was a few minutes to cool off and rest her head. It had been so long since she’d seen Edward—part of her just wanted a moment to give thanks that they were together again.

  But Edward, on the other hand, seemed more intent on showing her everything about Belize and the mission as quickly as possible.

  She hadn’t wanted to disappoint him, so she’d listened attentively and followed him as quickly as she could.

  But the tour was starting to take its toll. She was overheated, and feeling a little nauseous—surely the result of a nervous stomach, mixed with the sights and smells of unfamiliar food.

  Now, this room smelled of a curious combination of disinfectant and mildew. In the middle of it were two old couches and a pair of older looking metal desks. Against the far wall was a pair of doors with heavy locks on them. And though it was cooler, and they were blessed with two ceiling fans, it didn’t feel cool enough. Under her apron, her dress was sticking to her skin. She ached to rip off her hot dress and stand underneath an ice-cold shower.