Skin Walkers: Angel Lost

by Susan Bliler

  His elation was short lived when Eden frowned in clear disappointment, shaking her head before walking to the bunk beds and dropping onto the bottom bunk. She pulled the satiny purple pillow to her chest and lowered her nose to it, inhaling deeply before she hugged it hard. “No,” she whispered. “I just…” She leaned over on the bed, lying on her side and curling her knees up. “I remember what you said, about me being injured and in a wheelchair.” She jerked her chin toward the doorway leading to the hall and the other leading to what she assumed was a bathroom. “Door frames are wider.” She closed her eyes. “Sorry.”

  “Angel, don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry.” He paced the room. “This has been a lot to take in, and you’ve done so well.” He looked at her, but she kept her eyes closed, her arms still hugging the pillow to her chest. He stopped pacing to stare at her. “Know that I’m not going anywhere. None of us are. Me and the kids, we’ll wait until eternity if we have to.” He crossed to the bed and knelt in front of her, unable to hold back the words he’d been dying to say since she’d awoken in the infirmary. “I love you, Eden StoneCrow. You are my life. I’m going to be here with you every fucking day until you finally remember what it is you mean to me.”

  Still, she kept her eyes closed and he reached out to stroke her cheek. She inhaled deeply, moaning, and with a smile Monroe realized she slept. He shook his head slowly and simply adored her. “I love you, Eden,” he whispered again, before carefully pulling the pillow from her hold then effortlessly lifting her into his arms. He was carrying her from the room when she stirred.

  “Hmm.” Her eyes opened a fraction.

  “Sleep, Angel. I’ve got you.”

  Her eyes closed, and enroute to their bedroom, Monroe changed direction and carried her to the sitting room instead. He sat in his favorite leather chair and relaxed with his mate in his arms. It was selfish. He knew he should get his Angel to bed, she was exhausted, but he hadn’t touched her in so long, hadn’t held her in so damn long. His beasts brushed just under the surface of his skin, needing contact with their mate, and he permitted it. He was Angel starved, and simply holding her was soothing his soul. For an hour he stroked his hand over her shoulder, brushed his nose against her cheek, felt the slight weight of her on his lap as he inhaled deeply, drinking in the scent of her. Sweetgrass and rain. Home!

  Finally, after she shifted her weight in his arms, Monroe lifted her to carry her to their room. Eden stirred again, her eyes blinking open.

  “Hang on, Angel. Almost there.”

  Her eyes flitted closed, and when she lifted her arm to curl it over his shoulder he smiled.

  In their room, he settled her on the bed before flicking on a lamp on the nightstand. He made quick work of unlacing her shoes and pulling them off to tuck beneath the bed. He peeled her socks off and looked at her, trying to determine how much trouble he’d be in for undressing her. Deciding it was worth it, he hurried to their en suite bathroom to grab the nightgown she kept hanging behind the door. He actually hated the damn thing, but the children were prone to entering the room without notice, so they’d both been forced to wear nightclothes.

  Coming out of the bathroom, Monroe stopped. Eden had gotten up, and was standing at the crib sitting against the wall on her side of the bed. It was where Roan slept.

  Roan. Just the mere thought of their son made Monroe’s heart constrict with joy and love. When Eden had gotten pregnant, Monroe had been more proud, anxious, terrified, and excited than he’d ever imagined possible. His Eden was constantly introducing him to new emotions.

  Roan was the only child that Eden had borne, the rest were adopted, and watching her standing over the crib, Monroe hoped beyond hope that something about their youngest son would trigger Eden’s memories.

  She lifted a tiny stuffed panda bear from the crib, holding it to her nose, and Monroe waited with bated breath. She sniffed at it and hugged it to her chest. “Roan,” she whispered, and after a few long moments, when she finally turned to Monroe, her eyes were full of tears. “What kind of mother doesn’t remember her children?”

  Monroe was to her in a blink. Hauled into his arms, he crushed her to him and kissed the top of her head, soothing her. “Shhh, Angel, it’ll be alright.” Monroe held her, letting her cry until he felt her body lean heavily into his, then he picked her up and carried her to the bed. Laying her down, he climbed on the bed behind her, pulling her into him in such a familiar hold that it brought an ache to his chest. His Eden still wasn’t whole, she still wasn’t fully his, but this…he’d take this, right here, right now.

  ***

  Sitting with one leg kicked out in front of him, the other folded beneath his chair, one of Monroe’s arms lay casually on the armrest while the other was bent, one of his fingers pressed to his lips as he watched Eden sleep. He didn’t just watch though, he watched, he waited, and he prayed. Today he’d thrown so much information at her, and as he studied her lax features, he prayed some of it was sticking, absorbing into her mind and calling her back to who she once was. Still, part of him worried. Perhaps he’d given her too much today, perhaps behind the façade of her sleepy features, her mind was reeling, and that thought terrified him. It could be as Jenny warned. What if he’d done more damage than good? His gut clenched, and for the thousandth time he thought about how much he hated this, hated having his Angel, but not having her. He’d had to explain to his children what had happened on the chance that Eden never came back to them, and that had been devastating. He’d never known pain until he’d watched his children’s hearts break with the knowledge that their mother didn’t remember them. And for that alone the Megalya would pay. Before, he’d been content to let them exist while he’d thwarted their feeble attempts at infiltration and attack, but not now. Now, he’d go to fucking war for what they’d done. Now, they’d all die.

  His blood began to boil the longer he thought on the Megalya and what they’d almost taken from him. But, his Eden lived. He sighed out a heavy breath, not wanting his negative thoughts in the same room as his peaceful mate. Forcing his hatred aside, his lips quirked as Eden mumbled in her sleep as she’d so often done in the past and rolled to her side, facing him.

  Come back to me, Angel, he implored silently. Please come back to me!

  This was torture for him. He was wealthy enough to buy just about anything he wanted, and he was powerful enough to take just about anything he wanted, but here with Eden he was helpless. It was a new and frustrating emotion. By the Gods what he wouldn’t give to fight for Eden’s memory, or to be able to trade his fortune for it.

  Shoving up out of the chair, he paced to the window to stare out at his tattered Estate. The damage had been extensive, and they were still in the stages of repairing several of the structures, but the property was the least of his concerns. Glancing at Eden, he turned and exited the room. He needed to contact Apex to check on his children. This separation wasn’t doing any of them any good, and now that Eden knew of their existence it was one hurdle down. He ached to call his children back so he could deal with the next major issue, which was telling Eden that he and their children were Skin Walkers, and pray she didn’t run from the Estate screaming.

  Baby steps. First he’d see how she felt when she woke. For all he knew, she could have lost everything he’d told her about their family. So, for now, he’d simply have to wait.

  Chapter 17

  (Two days later)

  Finally back at the Estate, Remy had foregone the need for a shower and went immediately to find Harlow. Scrubbing a hand down his face, he stepped into the cafeteria. It boasted a fresh coat of spring-yellow paint and was filled with a mass of people as they worked setting up tables and chairs while another handful of people were back in the kitchen, wiping down appliances and unpacking dishes.

  He and his team had been out longer than he’d expected. After successfully finding Nyree and Rohm, and getting them escorted back to the Estate, they’d searched for the traitor, and for Bellis StCroix, bu
t had been unsuccessful in that endeavor. When Remy thought he’d finally get back to Harlow, his team had been informed of a complication with the other team’s retrieval of Marko and Thea and they’d stayed out to assist. It’d taken a long time, too long.

  He hadn’t eaten or been able to drink anything since he’d left, and even now the scent of food lingering in the room made him ill. The affliction was hitting him hard, and only one thing would end it, only one thought consumed him. Harlow. He needed to find his Angel and complete his claiming. His eyes snagged on a familiar form and he hurried to where she stood at the far end of the cafeteria, setting out several tall plants.

  “Hey Nyree!”

  She turned and smiled at him as he approached.

  “How are you feeling? You okay?” Remy hurried through small talk.

  She nodded. “I’m good, Commander.”

  He jerked his chin down in a nod, the best he could do right now as his eyes searched the room. “Rumor has it you’ve been working with Harlow getting the cafeteria up and running.” His eyes continued to search over her head. “Looks great. Where’s Harlow? Is she here?”

  “No,” Nyree stated excitedly. “She was taken from the Estate. She’s in for one hell of a surprise when she wakes up.”

  That had Remy dropping his gaze to hers. “Taken from the Estate? Wakes up? What are you talking about? Who took her?”

  “It’s alright, Commander,” Nyree tried to soothe. “Delain has taken her. He’s been assigned to…” She snorted. “You’re not going to believe this, but apparently Harlow was in danger, and the only way to keep her safe was for her to be mated to a Walker.”

  Remy felt all the blood drain from his face.

  “Delain took her to claim her. He said to let you know he’ll be back when the job is done.”

  Job? Claimed? Delain? Thousands of questions swirled through Remy’s mind, but he could only focus on one as he felt his chest and arms swell with the feral need to shift and find his Angel. “Where?” he snarled, the word an animalistic growl.

  Nyree’s smile slipped. “N-Not sure. He was assigned by Monroe. Perhaps the Dominant…”

  That was as far as Nyree got before a shift exploded from Remy, sending her flying backward before she was able to catch herself and keep from falling.

  The claws of Remy’s mountain lion ripped into the fresh linoleum, shredding it as he propelled himself at top speed out of the cafeteria.

  What in the fuck is going on? Adrenaline flooded him as he charged through the manor, but while he ran he couldn’t help but wonder if this was one of Monroe’s games. Was the Dominant punishing him for claiming Mason’s sister? Was Mason involved? Would he…could he pass his sister off on another just to get back at Remy?

  He didn’t care, none of that mattered. What mattered was finding Harlow and completing his claiming. She would be his, and if Delain laid a fucking hand on her, he would pay in blood.

  Chapter 18

  “You’re the one stressing her,” Monroe snarled at Jenny.

  Jenny had brought Eden up to him for a “visit”, but the line of Walkers that filed into his sitting room behind Jenny said it was a little more than just a ‘visit’.

  After their dinner a few days back, when Eden had fallen asleep in their bed, she’d woken the next morning and gone back to the infirmary. Her demeanor had changed, and she’d grown standoffish and, honestly, Monroe wasn’t sure what was going on.

  “Between your poking and prodding, she’s barely gotten a chance to breathe let alone try to sort things out,” he growled accusingly. “You need to back off, Jenny!”

  “IT’S YOU!” Eden yelled, and when two stunned expressions turned toward her, she spun away. She knew what she’d see if she looked at Monroe. It’d be the same expression he always wore when she looked at him. He’d be looking at her like he’d cut off his own hands to please her, and hell, hadn’t he said as much? It was odd, because she now knew how truly powerful this man was, and she believed his words. Monroe’s guise of being a doctor had only been a ruse to be closer to her, and everyone had permitted it. They’d had to. He was the Lord of the Manor. He was God here…and he was hers. He used to be hers. She’d gone back to the infirmary hoping that the truth would trigger something, open a flood gate, but it hadn’t. She’d struggled for the past two days, trying to force herself to remember. She hadn’t, and hope was fading.

  The silence that descended on the room was deafening. Sentries didn’t wait to be told as they filed out of the room. Jenny held back.

  “Angel?” Monroe stepped forward and lifted his hands, but stopped just inches from touching her. “Leave,” he commanded, without looking at Jenny.

  “Monroe, she has something to say to…”

  “LEAVE!”

  Jenny jumped, and her lips pursed in disapproval before she did the Dominant’s bidding.

  Alone, Monroe dropped his hands and watched as Eden crossed the room. She stopped at the window, wrapping her arms around herself before turning to stare at him over her shoulder. The move was so typical of her that it made his heart ache to see hints of his Angel, but still have no recognition.

  “You,” Eden began. “You look at me like that, and I want to remember, but I can’t.” She turned tear-filled eyes to the window. “I’m trying to make myself be this person you knew, but I can’t.” She shook her head. “I can’t find her! It’s hard enough trying to find myself, but then I want to live up to your expectations, and be what it is you want me to be, and I just…I can’t! When you look at me like that, I find myself trying so hard to be what it is I think you want to see. When I can’t do it, I end up feeling like a failure, and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for that look of disappointment you can’t ever seem to mask in time. I hate myself for letting you and everyone else down, over and over again. And worse, I have the kids to worry about now, and I’m trying so hard.” Tears flooded her eyes and spilled over. “I keep willing and pushing myself to remember to the point that my head aches and my vision blurs and nothing! I’m just such a shitty fucking mom and wife! I mean who can’t remember her own family? I’m just…” She choked on a sob, sniffing hard before squaring her shoulders, looking directly at him. “She’s gone, Monroe. That woman, your Eden. She’s not here. She’s just. Not. Here. And maybe it’s time...”

  His gut wrenched. “Time for what?”

  Her sad eyes turned steely with resolve. “Time to realize that she might not be coming back. Maybe you need to let her go. Maybe it’s time for you to let me go.”

  He moved so fast she barely saw him before he was on her. His arms gripped her biceps firmly, but not hurting, as he pressed her into the window.

  “Look at me,” he commanded, and she complied. “I will wait for you until this world is nothing but ash and bones. Do you understand me, Eden StoneCrow? I will wait for you until there is nothing left of this world but my love for you. Do. You. Understand. Me?”

  Eden nodded.

  “Say it,” he growled.

  “Y-you’ll…wait for me.”

  His grip loosened. “If you feel like I’m forcing you, I apologize. I can change. I will change. I can give you anything you need, my Domina. You just need to tell me.”

  She worried her bottom lip and debated while he watched. Finally, she exhaled a deep breath. “Maybe I should go away. Leave this place.” She lifted timid eyes. “Go back where I started.”

  “Away from me?” His lips pressed into a grim line, and she caught the hurt that washed over his features before he quickly masked it. “That’s why Jen brought the Sentries.” He snorted before looking up. “She didn’t think I’d let you go.”

  “I just don’t know what else to do. I tried Jenny’s way, and I’ve stayed close to you, but nothing’s working. Obviously, we can’t involve the children. Maybe the absence of you will trigger my need to have you close?” She knew it was a long shot, but something had to change. This man who claimed to be her husband was clearly on edge, and for some r
eason she couldn’t explain, she knew that if he lost control it would be an epically bad thing. “Please, Monroe, I just…”

  “Stop.” He cupped her cheek gently as his expression softened. “You can have whatever it is you think you need. I’ll try to stay away, but I’m not making any promises. Aries will be with you full time, on that I won’t negotiate.” He wouldn’t tell her that a full team would be ghosting her as well.

  She nodded.

  “Whatever else you need…” He let the sentence die off as he stared at her, and for a moment she wondered if he was going to kiss her. He didn’t. “Aries knows how to reach me.” Then he turned and exited the room, leaving her feeling cold and hollow.

  Chapter 19

  Monroe exited his suite to the sound of a throaty snarl. It was the only warning he got before some highly misguided Walker launched himself into the Dominant with epically bad timing. Barely keeping control of himself due to his Angel’s request, Monroe caught the huge blur that rushed him, hip tossing the great weight to the ground and crashing down on top of it as his hand jammed into the male’s throat and squeezed too hard.

  Beneath him, Remy threw a punch, but Monroe caught the fist mid-air with his free hand. The compromising position did nothing to dim the rage in Remy’s eyes.

  “Where is she?” Remy snarled, though it sounded pained as he forced the words through Monroe’s unrelenting grip on this throat.

  She? Monroe snarled his impatience. He didn’t have time for Remy’s damn love life right now. “Most of the women and children have been shipped to Apex.” Monroe released Remy and stood, straitening his coat as he turned dismissively. “Check there.”

  Remy snarled, and jerking to his feet he lunged for Monroe again. The Dominant had had enough. Spinning, his fist connected with Remy’s jaw so fast, and so hard, that the Walker Commander hit the ground and didn’t get back up.

  “Christ, Crow!” King rushed down the hall. “What are you doing?”