For the Sake of Their Son
Page 5
Hillary was married to another of Elliot’s school friends, Troy Donavan, more commonly known as the Robin Hood Hacker. As a computer-savvy teen he’d wreaked all sorts of havoc. Now he was a billionaire software developer. He’d recently married Hillary, an events planner, who looked as elegant as ever in a green Grecian-style silk dress.
The red-haired beauty dropped into a chair beside the stroller. “Do you mind if I hide out here with you and the baby for a while? My part in orchestrating this nationally televised wedding is done, thank heavens.”
“You did a lovely job blending local traditions with a modern flair. No doubt magazine covers will be packed with photos.”
“They didn’t give me much time to plan since they made their engagement announcement just after Christmas, but I’m pleased with the results. I hope they are, too.”
“I’m sure they are, although they can only see each other.” Lucy Ann’s stomach tightened, remembering her mother’s adoring looks for each new man.
“To think they were professional adversaries for so long...now the sparks between them are so tangible I’m thinking I didn’t need to order the firework display for a finale.”
Lucy Ann pulled a tight smile, doing her best to be polite. “Romance is in the air.”
“I hope this isn’t going too late for you and the little guy.” She flicked her red hair over her shoulder. “You must be exhausted from your flight.”
“He’s asleep. We’ll be fine.” If she left, Elliot would feel obligated to leave, as well. And right now she was too emotionally raw to be alone with him. Surely Hillary had to have some idea of how difficult this was for her, since the alum buddies had been party to the kidnapping.
Her eyes slid to the clutch of pals, the five men who’d been sent to a military reform school together.
Their bond was tight. Unbreakable.
They stood together at the beachside under a cabana wearing matching tuxedos, all five of them too damn rich and handsome for their own good. Luckily for the susceptible female population, the other four were now firmly taken, married and completely in love with their brides. The personification of bad boys redeemed, but still edgy.
Exciting.
The Alpha Brotherhood rarely gathered in one place, but when they did, they were a sight to behold. They’d all landed in trouble with the law as teens, but they’d been sent to a military reform school rather than juvie. Computer whiz Troy Donavan had broken into the Department of Defense’s computer system to expose corruption. Casino magnate Conrad Hughes had used insider trading tips to manipulate the stock market. He’d only barely redeemed himself by tanking corporations that used child-labor sweatshops in other countries. World famous soft rock/jazz musician Malcolm Douglas had been sent away on drug charges as a teenager, although she’d learned later that he’d been playing the piano in a bar underage and got nabbed in the bust.
The groom—Dr. Rowan Boothe—had a history a bit more troubled. He’d been convicted of driving while drunk. He’d been part of an accident he’d taken the blame for so his overage brother wouldn’t go to jail—then his brother had died a year later driving drunk into a tree. Now Rowan used all his money to start clinics in third-world countries.
They all had their burdens to bear, and that guilt motivated them to make amends now. Through their freelance work with Interpol. Through charitable donations beyond anything anyone would believe unless they saw the accounting books.
Now, they’d all settled down and gotten married, starting families of their own. Was that a part of what compelled Elliot to push for more with her? A need to fit in with his Alpha Brothers as they moved on to the next phase of their lives?
Lucy Ann looked back at Hillary. “Did you know what Malcolm and Conrad were up to yesterday?”
“I didn’t know exactly, not until Troy told me, and they were already on their way. I can’t say I approve of their tactics, but it was too late for me to do anything. You appear to be okay.” Hillary leaned on her elbows, angling closer, her eyes concerned. “Is that an act?”
“What do you think?”
She clasped Lucy Ann’s hand. “I’m sorry. I should have realized this calm of yours is just a cover. We’re kindred spirits, you and I, ever organized, even in how we show ourselves to the world.” She squeezed once before letting go. “Do you want to talk? Need a shoulder? I’m here.”
“There’s nothing anyone can do now. It’s up to Elliot and me to figure out how to move forward. If I’d let him know earlier...”
“Friend, you and I both know how difficult it can be to contact them when the colonel calls for one of their missions. They disappear. They’re unreachable.” She smiled sadly. “It takes something as earth-shattering as, well, a surprise baby to get them to break the code of silence.”
“How do you live with that, as a part of a committed relationship?”
She couldn’t bring herself to ask what it felt like to be married to a man who kept such a chunk of his life separate. She’d known as a friend and as a personal assistant that Elliot’s old headmaster later recruited previous students as freelancers for Interpol. She’d kept thoughts about that segmented away, since it did not pertain to her job or their life on the race circuit.
But now, there was no denying that her life was tied to Elliot’s in a much deeper way.
“I love Troy, the man he is. The man he’s always been,” Hillary said. “We grow, we mature, but our basic natures stay the same. And I love who that man is.”
Lucy Ann could almost—almost—grasp the promise in that, except she knew Hillary helped her husband on some of those missions, doing a bit of freelance work of her own.
Lucy Ann stared down into the amber swirl of her juice glass. “Is it so wrong to want an ordinary life? I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but normal, boring, well, I’ve never had that. I crave it for myself and my child, but it feels so unattainable.”
“That’s a tough one, isn’t it? These men are many things, but normal—delightfully boring—doesn’t show up anywhere on that list.”
Where did that leave her? In search of what she couldn’t have? Or a hypocrite for not accepting Elliot the way he had accepted her all her life? She ran from him. As much as she swore that he pushed her away, she knew. She’d run just as fast and hard as he’d pushed.
“Thank you for the advice, Hillary.”
Her friend sighed. “I’m not sure how much help I’ve been. But if you need to talk more, I’m here for you. I won’t betray your confidences.”
“I appreciate that,” Lucy Ann said, and meant it, only just realizing how few female friends she’d ever had. Elliot had been her best friend and she’d allowed that to close her off to other avenues of support.
“Good, very good. We women need to stick together, make a sisterhood pact of our own.” She winked before ducking toward the stroller. “Little Eli is adorable, and I’m glad you’re here.”
Lucy Ann appreciated the gesture, and she wanted to trust. She wanted to believe there could be a sisterhood of support in dealing with these men—even though she wouldn’t be married to Elliot. Still, their lives were entwined because of their child.
A part of her still wondered, doubted. The wives of Elliot’s friends had reached out initially after she left, but eventually they’d stopped. Could she really be a part of their sisterhood?
“Thank you, Hillary,” she said simply, her eyes sliding back to Elliot standing with his friends.
Her hand moved protectively over to the handle of her son’s stroller, her throat constricting as she took in the gleaming good looks of her baby’s father. Even his laugh seemed to make the stars shimmer brighter.
And how frivolous a thought was that?
She definitely needed to keep her head on straight and her heart locked away. She refused to be anyone’s obligation or b
urden ever again.
* * *
Elliot hoped Rowan and Mariama’s marriage ceremony would soften Lucy Ann’s mood. After all, weren’t weddings supposed to make women sentimental? He’d watched her chatting with his friends’ wives and tried to gauge her reaction. She knew them all from her time working as his assistant, and seeing this big extended family connected by friendship rather than blood should appeal to her. They’d talked about leaving their pasts behind countless times as kids.
They could fit right in here with their son. A practical decision. A fun life.
So why wasn’t she smiling as the bride and groom drove away in a BMW convertible, the bride’s veil trailing in the wind?
Shouldering free of the crowd, Elliot made his way toward Lucy Ann, who stood on the periphery, their son in a stroller beside her. Even though he’d arranged for a nanny who’d once worked for a British duke, Lucy Ann said she couldn’t let her son stay with a total stranger. She would need to conduct her own interview tomorrow. If the woman met her standards, she could help during Eli’s naps so Lucy Ann could keep up with the work obligations she hadn’t been able to put on hold. The encounter still made Elliot grin when he thought of her refusing to be intimidated by the very determined Mary Poppins.
He stopped beside Lucy Ann, enjoying the way the moonlight caressed her bare shoulders. Her hair was loose and lifting in the night wind. Every breath he took drew in hints of her, of Carolina jasmine. His body throbbed to life with a reminder of what they could have together, something so damn amazing he’d spent eleven months running from the power of it.
Now, fate had landed him here with her. Running wasn’t an option, and he found that for once he didn’t mind fate kicking him in the ass.
Elliot rested his hand on the stroller beside hers, watching every nuance of her reaction. “Are you ready to call it a day and return to our suite, or would you like to take a walk?”
She licked her lips nervously. “Um, I think a walk, perhaps.”
So she wasn’t ready to be alone with him just yet? A promising sign, actually; she wanted him still, even if she wasn’t ready to act on that desire. Fine, then. He could use the moon and stars to romance her, the music from a steel drum band serenading them.
“A walk it is, then, Lucy dear,” he asserted.
“Where can we go with a baby?”
He glanced around at the party with guests still dancing along the cabana-filled beach. Tables of food were still laden with half shares of delicacies, fruits and meats. A fountain spewing wine echoed the rush of waves along the shore. Mansions dotted the rocky seashore, with a planked path leading to docks.
“This way.” He gestured toward the shoreline boardwalk, all but deserted this late at night. “I’ll push the stroller.”
He stepped behind the baby carriage. Lucy Ann had no choice but to step aside or they would be stuck hip to hip, step for step.
Five minutes later, they’d left the remnants of the reception behind, the stroller wheels rumbling softly along the wooden walkway. To anyone looking from the looming mansions above, lights shining from the windows like eyes, he and Lucy Ann would appear a happy family walking with their son.
Tonight more than ever he was aware of his single status. Yet again, he’d stood to the side as another friend got married. Leaving only him as a bachelor. But he was a father now. There was no more running from fears of becoming his father. He had to be a man worthy of this child. His child with Lucy Ann.
She walked beside him, the sea breeze brushing her gauzy dress along his leg in phantom caresses. “You’re quite good at managing that stroller. I’m surprised. It took me longer than I expected to get the knack of not knocking over everything in my path.”
He smiled at her, stuffing down a spark of anger along with the urge to remind her that he would have helped in those early days if she’d only let him know. “It’s just like maneuvering a race car.”
“Of course. That makes sense.”
“More sense than me being at ease with a child? I’m determined to get this right, Lucy Ann, don’t doubt that for a second.” Steely determination fueled his words.
“You used to say you never wanted kids of your own.”
Could those words have made her wary of telling him? There had been a time when they shared everything with each other.
He reminded her, “You always insisted that you didn’t want children, either.”
“I didn’t want to risk putting any child in my mother’s path.” She rubbed her hand along her collarbone, the one she’d cracked as a child. “I’m an adult now and my mother’s passed away. But we’re talking about you and your insistence that you didn’t want kids.”
“I didn’t. Then.” If things hadn’t changed, he still might have said the same, but one look in Eli’s wide brown eyes and his world had altered in an instant. “I don’t run away from responsibilities.”
“You ran away before—” She stopped short, cursing softly. “Forget I said that.”
Halting, he pulled his hands from the stroller, the baby sleeping and the carriage tucked protectively between them and the railing.
Elliot took her by the shoulders. Her soft bare shoulders. So vulnerable. So...her. “Say it outright, Lucy Ann. I left you behind when I left Columbia behind, when I let myself get sloppy and caught, when I risked jail because anything seemed better than staying with my father. For a selfish instant, I forgot about what that would mean for you. And I’ve regretted that every day of my life.”
The admission was ripped from his throat; deeper still, torn all the way from his gut. Except there was no one but Lucy Ann to hear him on the deserted walkway. Stone houses dotted the bluff, quarters for guests and staff, all structures up on the bluff with a few lights winking in the night. Most people still partied on at the reception.
“I understand that you feel guilty. Like you have to make up for things. But you need to stop thinking that way. I’m responsible for my own life.” She cupped his face, her eyes softening. “Besides, if you’d stayed, you wouldn’t have this amazing career that also gave me a chance to break free. So I guess it all worked out in the end.”
“Yet you ended up returning home when you left me.” Hell, he should be honest now while he had the chance. He didn’t want to waste an instant or risk the baby waking up and interrupting them. “When I stupidly pushed you away.”
Her arm dropped away again. “I returned with a degree and the ability to support myself and my child. That’s significant and I appreciate it.” Her hands fisted at her sides. “I don’t want to be your obligation.”
“You want a life of your own, other than being my assistant. I understand that.” He kept his voice low, which brought her closer to listen over the crash of waves below the boardwalk. He liked having her close again. “Let’s talk it through, like we would have in the old days.”
“You’re being so―” she scowled “―so reasonable.”
“You say that like it’s a dirty word. Why is that a bad thing?” Because God help him, he was feeling anything but reasonable. If she wanted passion and emotion, he was more than willing to pour all of that into seducing her. He just had to be sure before he made a move.
A wrong step could set back his cause.
“Don’t try to manipulate me with all the logical reasons why I should stay. I want you to be honest about what you’re thinking. What you want for your future.”
“When it comes to the future, I don’t know what I want, Lucy Ann, beyond making sure you and Eli are safe, provided for, never afraid. I’m flying by the seat of my pants here, trying my best to figure out how to get through this being-a-father thing.” Honesty was ripping a hole in him. He wanted to go back to logic.
Or passion.
Her chest rose and fell faster with emotion, a flush spreading across her skin in
the moon’s glow. “How would things have been different if I had come to you, back when I found out I was pregnant?”
“I would have proposed right away,” he said without hesitation.
“I would have said no,” she answered just as quickly.
He stepped closer. “I would have been persistent in trying to wear you down.”
“How would you have managed that?”
The wind tore at her dress, whipping the skirt forward to tangle in his legs, all but binding them together with silken bands.
He angled his face closer to hers, his mouth so close he could claim her if he moved even a whisker closer. “I would have tried to romance you with flowers, candy and jewels.” He watched the way her pupils widened with awareness as his words heated her cheek. “Then I would have realized you’re unconventional and I would have changed tactics.”
“Such as?” she whispered, the scent of fruit juice on her breath, dampening her lips. “Be honest.”
“Hell, Lucy Ann, if you want honesty, here it is.” His hand slid up her bare arm, along her shoulder, under her hair, to cup the back of her neck, and God, it felt good to touch her after so long apart. It felt right. “I just want to kiss you again.”
Five
Lucy Ann gripped Elliot’s shoulders, her fingers digging in deep by instinct even as her brain shouted “bad idea.”
Her body melted into his, the hard planes of his muscular chest absorbing the curves of her, her breasts hypersensitive to the feel of him. And his hands... A sigh floated from her into him. His hands were gentle and warm and sure along her neck and into her hair, massaging her scalp. Her knees went weak, and he slid an arm down to band around her waist, securing her to him.
How could he crumble her defenses with just one touch of his mouth to hers? But she couldn’t deny it. A moonlight stroll, a starlight kiss along the shore had her dreaming romantic notions. Made her want more.
Want him.