April's Glow

by Juliet Madison

  ‘Yes, I do.’ April locked her gaze with Nancy’s.

  ‘I wouldn’t waste time worrying and trying to plan everything, I would enjoy life for what it is and make the most of every moment,’ she said.

  ‘Like you’re doing now,’ said Sylvia, and Nancy nodded, then blushed.

  ‘Definitely,’ Nancy said. ‘And that includes getting to know a lovely chap on Facebook I’ve been conversing with. I think I’m ready to meet him and invite him out or something. He could be a righteous wanker, but he could also be the second love of my life, who knows?’ She held up her hands and both April and Sylvia laughed.

  April pondered Nancy’s advice … Stop worrying, enjoy life, make the most of every moment. She glanced around at the vibrant community gathered in the park, as twilight teased into the horizon slowly and effortlessly. Each day would pass, time would pass, and before she knew it she would be Nancy’s age and thinking back on her own past and wondering what she would do differently. She didn’t want to have regrets. She didn’t want to have only half lived.

  Yes, she was relieved to have sent that message to Zac, and knew that in reality, her life would turn out perfectly fine without him. But what if she needed to give it that extra boost? What if life was waiting for her to take more of a stand and declare what she really wanted?

  What did she really want? Did she just want to go with the flow and let whatever happened happen? Partly, yes, but mostly, no. She didn’t want pain, or hurt, or disappointment. But she did want love. Love and connection. And sometimes you had to take a risk in order to get them. Which meant living life with trust, and without worry.

  No more fear or assumptions, she said to herself.

  Love, only love.

  If there was a chance, she had to take it.

  She wanted love, and she wanted Zac.

  April got out her phone and turned away from the customers at the stall as Belinda served them. ‘Give me a sec,’ she said, opening up a text message window. She typed:

  Me again. Sorry for long text before, but I forgot to add something: I still understand if we go our separate ways, and I thought I was okay with that, and I would be okay, but that doesn’t mean I want it. I know I’ve been a bit of an idiot, okay, a LOT of an idiot, but Zac—please don’t go. Don’t leave. Don’t move. I’m ready now too. I want you. All of you. Scars and all. Let’s be wounded and weird together. Let’s just jump in and go for it.

  If you don’t want to, fair enough, I had my chance and may have blown it. But at least by doing this I’ll know that I gave it a shot. And I’ve put my heart on the line, like you did, which was so brave and I can’t believe you did that for me. I can’t believe someone as amazing as you wants, or wanted, me.

  So there. I’ve fallen for you. It might even be love, as you said. I’m not used to this, but all I know is that I’m a goner. You’ve swept me up in your world and I don’t want to live anywhere else.

  If you still want me, I’m here. Ready and waiting.

  April.

  When she hit send it was like she was spinning, spinning with the exhilaration of taking a risk, of baring her feelings without knowing how he would respond.

  For the rest of the evening she chatted and served customers, caught up with her mum, feeling on such a high she didn’t know how she would get back down. No matter what happened, she was living. Now, she was living.

  And when Jonah took to the mic at Barry’s music set-up and asked for everyone’s attention, she smiled a huge smile when he announced the winner of the dinner for two was Nancy Dillinger, her next-door neighbour and reason she had just sent that message to Zac.

  Nancy clapped her hands together in delight as she accepted the prize, and then grabbed hold of the microphone. ‘Now, I know you’ll probably all be lining up to have dinner with me, but I already know who I’m taking to dinner, so I’m sorry to disappoint.’ She grinned, and a few people feigned overt disappointment and rejection with frowns and slumped shoulders. Then she caught April’s gaze as she walked away from the microphone and over to April’s stand. Nancy gave her a suggestive wink and smiled, then whispered with a giggle in her ear. ‘Maybe I’ll even get lucky.’

  Chapter 28

  Luck. Maybe a lot of life did come down to luck. But it also came down to creating your own luck, or at least, doing your damn best to give it a shove in the right direction. It had been late by the time April had arrived home after the very successful night markets, and Zac’s lights were off. She hadn’t heard back from him after either of her messages, but maybe he needed to process them and think things through. She wouldn’t rush him or be annoying and ask ‘did you get my message?’

  And having to be back at work early in Sunday morning left no time for crossing paths with him, so she focused on keeping busy in the store by planning her Christmas stock and display ideas.

  ‘Don’t forget Halloween,’ Belinda said. ‘We should push that as much as possible before letting the Christmas stuff take up space.’

  ‘You want to take over the store one day, don’t you, Bee?’ April asked. She’d never called her Bee before and didn’t know why she did just then, but it had popped out and felt right.

  ‘Already planning my strategy to climb my way to the top.’ She laughed a fake witches cackle and rubbed her hands together.

  ‘Crazy woman,’ April chuckled.

  ‘I have a good mentor,’ she replied.

  ‘Hey, so the newspaper emailed and said it’ll be a two page spread on Wednesday, showcasing the photos from the event and talking about the charity and encouraging more donations.’ April jiggled on the spot.

  ‘You did well, boss,’ she said.

  ‘We did well.’

  They high-fived each other, and April went out back to the storeroom to unpack more of the Halloween stock.

  The bell on the store’s door jingled, and she heard Belinda say, ‘Howdy, what can I do for you?’

  ‘I’m here to see April,’ said the voice, and April’s heart stopped.

  No way, it couldn’t be. Not here.

  She returned to the store and her mouth fell open. ‘Zac?’

  Belinda’s eyes went wide and she pretended to be busy in the corner.

  Zac’s presence bombarded her with a collision of disbelief and surprise. He wore jeans, as usual, darker ones, his hands in their pockets, and a thin, short-sleeved grey shirt with buttons down the front, of which the first three at the top were undone, exposing parts of his tattoos. He also wore an accomplished smile, his eyes bright and alert, gaze alternating between her and the store’s surroundings, like he was stepping into her world for the first time.

  ‘Zac, what are you doing here?’ She took a tentative step closer, but stayed next to the counter until she knew of his intentions. He could be here to tell her he was leaving. Today. And this would be the last time they’d see each other. Her hand shook as it leant on the side of the counter.

  ‘I made a promise, remember? To walk into your store one day.’ He removed his hands from his pockets and surveyed the displays to his right, then looked back at her. ‘You said it could be in a million years but I figured I might not be looking too great by then and you wouldn’t recognise me, so thought I better do it now.’

  A quick smiled flashed on April’s face, sending warm shots of excitement to her cheeks. She took another step closer. ‘Wow. I can’t believe you did it. I wasn’t expecting, I …’ Thoughts came and went, but none made sense. ‘I’m glad you came,’ she said, then her body softened and she walked closer, and they stood with only a small display table separating them. ‘Zac, I’m sorry. Again. I hope my message made sense. I know you can’t just snap out of it and I wouldn’t expect you to. I hope you forgive me.’

  ‘I do,’ he said. ‘It’s okay, don’t beat yourself up. I know you were frustrated. But you were right in a way, I do need to start taking action to overcome it. So today, I thought why the hell not, I’ll take a little walk down to my favourite candle store.’ He li
fted his palms up in the air. ‘Even though I almost changed my mind and turned back at least forty-seven times.’

  She chuckled. ‘How do you know it’s your favourite candle store if you’ve never been before?’

  He rubbed his chin. ‘Something about the name, reminds me of someone.’

  She found herself twirling a loosely curled strand of her hair.

  Zac’s face became serious. ‘The thing I’ve realised is, I’ve always found it hard to ask for help. I’ve always been the helper. Call me proud, I don’t know, but now, I know I need to get some of that help stuff. And if there’s anyone I’d want to help me with the help stuff, it’s you.’ He moved towards her and grasped her elbows gently. ‘Will you?’

  She looked deep into his eyes and saw the part of him she’d seen that night during the eye-gazing exercise. The part she’d connected with, desired, wanted. She gulped. ‘I can’t imagine any other alternative.’

  He smiled softly. ‘So we just jump right in, hey? As you said?’ He rubbed his thumbs back and forth across her arms. ‘Take a risk and give things a shot, otherwise …’

  ‘Otherwise we just stay friends and have occasional really hot sex,’ she blurted with a shrug.

  A laugh burst from Belinda’s mouth, as it did from Zac’s. ‘Sorry. I’ll just ah … I have to go check something …’ Her employee scurried off to the storeroom.

  ‘The things that come out of your mouth, April.’ Zac shook his head with a smile. ‘I love them.’ He leaned in closer and whispered, ‘I’ve got a better idea. We take a risk and give things a shot, and we have occasional really hot sex.’ He winked.

  She moved her hands to around his neck. ‘Replace the word occasional with frequent and you’ve got yourself a deal.’

  ‘Deal,’ he said.

  He leaned closer and she tilted her face up and received his eager kiss. His lips were like sinking into a soft, supportive, welcoming bed at the end of a hard day. She wanted to stay there, immersed in him, for as long as she could. His hands held her cheeks firmly but tenderly, and then moved around her back, pulling her in close.

  She nestled her head in his neck and whispered in his ear. ‘I’m with you, Zac. One hundred percent.’

  ‘Oh man this is so going on Facebook!’ Belinda appeared with her phone camera. ‘And hi, I’m Belinda,’ she said, holding out her hand for Zac.

  He shook it and laughed.

  And as the vibration of his laugh reverberated through his chest as she rested against it, she knew she had found her true home.

  Chapter 29

  ‘You sure we’re not leaving Belinda in the lurch?’ Zac asked as he stepped out of April’s Glow, April’s beautiful soft hand in his.

  ‘She’s used to it,’ April said. ‘And besides, she’s a fan, so she’d do anything for you.’

  ‘Ah, what?’

  ‘Of your blog. She found it. Remember, I mentioned it a while ago when I told you I’d read your blog?’

  ‘Oh yeah. Huh. I’ve never met any of my fans before,’ he said, chuckling at the word. Then again, he’d never met anyone who’d read his blog, fan or otherwise.

  ‘You’ve met me.’ She swung his arm in hers.

  ‘You’re a fan? Really?’ He spoke with fake enthusiasm.

  ‘Your biggest.’

  ‘And what does my biggest fan wish to do this afternoon?’

  April stopped and looked around. ‘Hmm, do you think you could handle a stroll down the main street? I could take you on a little tour?’ Her eyes held hope but caution.

  Zac’s insides felt unsteady. ‘Um, I think visiting your store was enough adventure for one day,’ he said. ‘One step at a time?’

  ‘Of course, one step at a time. Or two steps for me, because your steps are much bigger than mine.’ She walked two to his one as they went up the hill towards her street.

  ‘I’ll go slower.’

  She gripped his hand tighter and spoke softly, ‘No more slow. We’ve done enough slow.’

  He knew what she meant. They’d spent six months getting to know each other, going back and forth, hot and cold, fast and slow, mostly slow, except for that one night, and it was time to amp things up. Life was short and went by fast, there was no point waiting, or wasting time.

  ‘Hey, I could take you on a proper tour of my house. You haven’t seen it all yet,’ she said.

  ‘Good idea.’ He smiled.

  ‘And there’s one room in particular I think you might like,’ she spoke with a teasing tone.

  ‘Kitchen?’ he asked.

  She shook her head.

  ‘Bathroom?’

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘Laundry?’

  ‘Uh-uh.’

  ‘Um, geez, I dunno. Help me out here, candle woman.’

  ‘I’ll take you straight there,’ she replied.

  * * *

  Their walking speed had picked up after her mentioning the house tour, but there was only one room she wanted to be in with him right now. April led him through the living room and down the small hallway, and into her bedroom. The blinds were drawn, and only tiny thin slits of light slid through making faint stripes on her bed.

  ‘I present to you the master bedroom,’ she said with a flourish of her hand. ‘Built in the last quarter of the twentieth century,’ she added in a posh tour guide voice, ‘it was created by some unknown builder who realised that the occupant or occupants would require a place to rest one’s head at night. As you can see by the presence of the queen-sized bed, it fits the purpose for which it was intended.’ She led him around the side of the bed, next to her bedside table, and trailed her fingers up and down his arms. ‘And also, the room was built with the assumption that it may provide a useful space in which to … how does one say this … get it on, in the comfort of said queen-sized bed.’

  The expression of amusement on Zac’s face was utterly adorable. He was both masculine and cute at the same time, and also sexy, and despite knowing him well, still held an air of irresistible mystery.

  She pushed gently against his chest so that he sat on the bed in front of her.

  ‘How could we not use the room for the purposes in which it was intended? It would be a waste,’ he said.

  ‘Indeed,’ she replied, unbuttoning his shirt from the top to the bottom, then spreading it open and exposing his well-defined chest.

  He kicked off his shoes, as she removed his shirt. She held it up in the air and swung it around in circles.

  He grinned. ‘Doing the stripping cowboy? I thought that was my move.’ He raised his eyebrows.

  She hooked the short behind his neck and pulled him close to her, pressing his lips with hers. ‘Cowgirl, perhaps?’ she said, teasing kisses across his cheek, neck and under his ear.

  ‘Sounds good to me.’ He took the shirt from her hands and flung it behind her onto the floor. ‘Nice shell,’ he said, eyeing her bedside table.

  ‘Some guy gave it to me.’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Zander, Zeb, Zee … I can’t quite remember his name.’ She furrowed her brow.

  ‘Will this jog your memory?’ Zac pulled her towards him into an urgent kiss and she fell onto him as he leaned back on the bed.

  ‘It’s coming back to me,’ she whispered. ‘Oh wait,’ she said, getting back up. ‘I should light my candle.’ She grabbed her gas lighter and held it towards the hope candle on the bedside table. Flame emerged on the well-worn wick, then flickered out. ‘Bugger.’ She tried again. ‘Nope, it’s out.’ She laughed.

  ‘What so funny?’

  ‘Not funny, just … interesting.’ She lifted up the candle and breathed in its remaining, sweet candy scent. ‘This candle has lasted so long. It was given to me by my cousin to lift my spirits and give me hope. It gave me the idea for the candle store.’

  Zac took a whiff of it too. ‘The smell reminds me of you.’ He tangled his fingers in her hair.

  She smiled. ‘It’s like I don’t need it anymore. The hope I needed, I got. It served its
purpose.’ She placed the jar back down. ‘So unless you want me to disrupt the flow of our romantic mood by rummaging through my cupboards for a suitable replacement to light our … rendezvous, we’ll have to go glow-less for this one.’

  He let out a cute, mischievous chuckle, and she nestled her thighs between his as she stood between his legs against the bed. ‘Oh, don’t worry, I’ll just give you a glow of your own.’ He gathered the hem of her lacy chiffon top and lifted it upwards and off, then gathered her body in his arms and pulled her onto the bed by his side.

  ‘I think I’m already glowing,’ she replied, with an eager smile of what was to come.

  * * *

  It was exactly like he’d imagined. In bed, her laying on his chest stroking his skin as he played with her hair. No words, just silence. Comfortable, perfect silence. The sun was lower now, shining more of a warm orange, as it filtered through the cracks in the venetian blinds and cast light and dark shadows across their relaxed bodies. Looking down at her, he watched as her eyelashes fluttered gently up and down as she blinked every now and again. Such a simple, automatic response, yet so beautiful. Her fingers moved with a flow and rhythm that calmed him, and as his chest rose slowly up and down, so too did she as she rested on him.

  With each breath, he fell more and more in love with her.

  April. His neighbour, his friend, his lover. And now, his partner, his …

  He gulped as he realised.

  She was his soulmate.

  The one he had wanted. The one he had asked for long ago. The one he had waited for.

  ‘Don’t tell me you’re getting ready to go at it again?’ she asked with a giggle, turning to look up at him as his breathing became faster.

  ‘No. Well, yes. Maybe, but … hang on.’ He rolled her gently to the side and sat up. ‘Just remembered something. I have to show it to you.’ He got up quickly. ‘It’s at home, I’ll duck over and be right back!’ He grabbed his keys and went for the door.

  ‘Ah, Zac?’ April propped herself onto her elbow, the sheet embracing her body. ‘I’m more than happy to watch you wander around naked, but the lovely Nancy from next door might see you and freak out.’