The Right Kind of Reckless

by Heather Van Fleet

  “Hey!” I waved, tossing a clean towel over my shoulder.

  I pushed through the swinging saloon-style doors and approached them with open arms. Gorgeous was the one word that could best describe my brother’s girlfriend—and hopefully, someday, maybe my sister-in-law. She had thick black hair, dark-brown eyes, and flawless skin that reminded me of the lightest brew of coffee we had in this place.

  “Hey back,” she said, a little breathless as she tossed Chloe’s diaper bag into the booth. I might have lost Max on Mondays and Fridays, but I’d gained these two on Wednesday—a fair trade, I’d say.

  Addie handed my niece over with a grin. I snuggled her to my chest. “Hey, Beaner.” The scent of her baby shampoo filled my nose, and I couldn’t help but smile.

  God, I loved this little thing. Not only was she the glue that held my brother and his friends together, but she held me together too. Her birth last year had pushed me to do what I’d wanted most: to go back to college and finish my last semester, to get my life together once and for all. Then when her mom died, something in me had really clicked. Life wasn’t forever, and if you didn’t make it your own in the short time you were given, then what was the point of living it at all?

  “What shall we get you today, little lady?” I poked her on the nose, and like always, Chloe tugged at my eyebrow ring. She’d learned to be gentler now that she was almost fourteen months old, but the kid had mega strength. She was a Thor toddler in the making—likely due to all the testosterone in her house. Living with a dad and two other macho men probably had that effect on a little girl. I was just thankful Addie was there to set them all straight.

  Addie stood beside us at the table, a loving smile on her face. Chloe reached for her, and I swallowed around a lump in my throat, willing my jealousy away. I wasn’t jealous that Chloe had another leading lady in her life though. If anything, I was happy. Addie was the perfect fill-in mom, and I couldn’t have asked for a better person for my brother. I was jealous because I missed being around Chloe as much as I used to be. But I was busy. Working two jobs and finally finishing school had forced me to give something up for a while. Unfortunately, that something had to be Beaner.

  “I’ll take a poppy-seed muffin. She can just nibble on mine.” Addie nudged Chloe in the belly, making her laugh.

  “Coffee too?”

  Addie nodded and sat, my niece tucked in her lap where she belonged.

  A little while later, I took my fifteen-minute break, hoping above hope that Ruby Pearl didn’t scare the customers away with her Davey stories. We still had a good half hour before the midmorning rush came in, so this was the perfect opportunity for a little female chat with my favorite—and only—girlfriend.

  “So, how’ve you been?” I leaned back in my seat, sipping my tea.

  “Okay, I guess,” Addie answered.

  I frowned. “What’s up, buttercup? My brother being a douche?”

  “Uh, no. Not at all. Just personal family drama is all.”

  Addie’s family was crap. They had ignored her, abandoned her, cut her off… It made me love and miss my overbearing parents even more.

  “What is it?” I leaned toward Chloe to take a bite of the muffin offering from her tiny fingers, but at the last minute she giggled and yanked it away.

  “My mom’s sick. She’s at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. It’s cancer of the stomach. Apparently she was diagnosed a few months ago, but I only got the call last week.”

  I cringed. That didn’t sound good. “Are you going to visit her?”

  Addie shredded the napkin in her hands. “I want to, but Collin thinks I shouldn’t.”

  “With good reason, I’m sure.”

  Her lips pursed. “I have a right to say goodbye to my mother, even if she did abandon me. He doesn’t just get to—”

  “Addie.” I put my hand on top of hers, my heart conflicted. She needed to make amends with her parents, yes, but at the same time nobody wanted her to get her heart broken if it didn’t work out, especially not my brother. “You know why he doesn’t want you to go, right?”

  Shoulders sagging, she looked at Chloe. “I do. But he’s just so stubborn and…ugh. He’s just Collin.”

  “Well, you’re Miss Stubborn too.” I took another drink of my tea.

  She blew out a slow breath. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  “Then don’t.”

  “But I do want to talk about Max.” She peered back at me, a knowing, mischievous look in her brown eyes.

  My face grew hot. “What about him?”

  “He’s moodier than normal.”

  My eyebrows rose. “And your point is…?”

  Her lips trembled like she was fighting a smile. “He’s moody because he’s stopped sleeping around. He told Collin and me that last night. I guess he’s thinking about finally finding someone to settle down with.”

  I swallowed hard, staring at Chloe’s hands as she tossed her muffin pieces on the floor. Was it coincidence or happenstance that he’d decided this after he found out Travis and I had broken up? Likely the first thought, because there’s no way my relationship status would make him rethink his stance on dating. I was delusional to think otherwise.

  “He must have been drunk.” I scoffed. Either that, or he was having a dry spell. Or maybe he’d run out of options. Carinthia was a small town. “I mean, even guys like Max are bound to take a break from sex every once in a while. I can guarantee it won’t last.”

  “Don’t be dense, Lia.” Addie grinned. “All he’s done this week is ask about you. I think it’s a sign.” Addie sipped her coffee, her eyes narrowing with intent from over the rim.

  “I’m not dense.” Maybe a little unrealistic at times, but definitely not dense.

  It was easier to pretend nothing bothered me. That way people didn’t constantly ask How are you feeling? Do you want to talk about it? Playing the role of the uncaring whack job was exactly the persona I’d built my life around over the past five years. I no longer recognized the shy, sensitive girl who used to live within me. The girl who studied on Fridays and dated only the sweetest of the sweet on Saturdays. No way was I the girl who’d created homecoming floats in high school and written for the college newspaper just to receive extra credit. That girl was the dense one. She was also dead.

  I knew that because I’d killed her myself.

  “Fine, fine. I just wanted you to know in case you decide to—”

  “Addie,” I groaned. “Max and I? We’re never. Going. To happen. It’s best if you drop the scenario altogether and focus your matchmaking skills elsewhere.”

  For now, I had two goals: paying my extra tuition fees and then getting my diploma. And neither of those included Maxwell Martinez.

  Chapter 4

  Max

  It was five in the morning on a Thursday, and there I was, changing a diaper. If that didn’t say I was a damn good guy, I’m not sure anything could.

  “Uncle Max and Uncle Gavin are gonna take you out for breakfast. What do you say, kiddo?” Chloe clapped on cue, like the awesome munchkin she was. In response, I nuzzled my face against her neck and tickled her pajama-covered stomach.

  Someday, I wanted this. The house, a wife, a couple of kids…exactly what I’d never had growing up.

  I picked up my favorite little kid from the changing table in her room, held her above my head like Superman, and raced us down the hall. Since I’d forgone going out at night for a while, I’d offered to take morning faux-uncle duties. Maybe it’d give the sex maniacs in the room next to mine some uninterrupted time to do what I wasn’t feeling the urge to do—without waking me from a dead sleep.

  “Ready, Freddy?” I plopped us onto the couch in the living room and grabbed her jacket off the armrest. No point in putting actual clothes on her when all she’d do was fight me anyway. Toddlers were hellions when it
came to being dressed—even the cute ones like Beaner.

  On cue, she flailed, silently begging me to dip her upside down. I finally managed to bribe her into letting me put the thing on her with promises of seeing Gavin.

  My other best friend lived in the duplex adjacent to ours and had no idea I was gonna wake his ass up this morning. But I knew he hadn’t gone out last night either, so it wasn’t like I’d be waking a sleeping monster. Plus, Gav and I had some talking to do. Mainly me needing to complain about things I couldn’t bitch to Collin about.

  Ten minutes later, I was dressed and the two of us stood outside his door. “You knock, pretty girl.” I grinned as she pounded her tiny fist against the glass storm door. Ten seconds later, a sweaty-ass yeti of a man answered, towel around his neck and looking like he hadn’t seen a razor—or sleep—for months.

  “Get dressed. We’re taking Beaner for breakfast.” In response, Chloe leaped toward Gav’s leg and wrapped her chubby little arms around his calf.

  “Sabotage,” he grumbled, flipping me off over her head. But, like all three of us would’ve done, he squatted down to her level and said with a smile, “Good morning, Chloe.”

  The guy wasn’t good with kids. The only time he’d tried to take care of Chloe on his own, he’d wound up covered in her vomit and calling Addie. But that didn’t mean he didn’t love her. And Chloe, for some reason, thought the sun rose and set with her uncle Gavin. Hell, her first real, recognizable word was Avvy, which we all knew stood for Gavvy.

  “Sorry. First thing she asked for this morning was your dumb-ass.” No, it was candy, but a little white lie never hurt anybody.

  His bearded face went soft as he pulled back from kissing her forehead. “I’m all sweaty from my run, Chloe. Can I take a shower first?”

  I rolled my eyes as he tried—failed—to barter with the kid. Again, the guy didn’t have a fatherly bone in his body.

  She grabbed hold of his finger and tugged him out onto the front porch, her decision already made. Gavin shot me the devil eyes from over her shoulder, and I held my hands up in defense. “Kid’s hungry.”

  “Fine, fuck. Put her in her car seat. I’m coming.”

  “Uck!” Chloe repeated proudly, her eyes wide as she watched Gavin stand.

  I laughed so hard my eyes started watering. Gavin, on the other hand, turned pale and pointed a finger at her, then me, then her again, his mouth opening and shutting each time. Chloe giggled like she knew exactly what she’d done. I picked her up, propping her on my hip.

  “Chloe, you can’t say the bad words Uncle Gavin says, all right?” I laughed again, knowing damn well she wouldn’t understand.

  Gavin moved forward and tucked some of her curls behind her ear. Then he glared at me, his jaw tight. “Give me five minutes.”

  Fifteen minutes later, we wound up at Stringers, a newer mom-and-pop-style restaurant near O’Paddy’s Bar. It was commercial and cold, and the food tasted like ass, but it was the only breakfast joint in town where we could just sit—other than a McDonald’s and the local waffle house we’d gotten kicked out of last fall, thanks to Colly and his need to fight the world and everyone in it.

  Gavin grabbed Chloe out of her car seat and set her on the sidewalk between us. I held one of her hands, Gavin held the other, and as we walked inside, the rising sun at our backs, the few eyes in the restaurant at this hour turned toward us.

  “Christ. Everyone’s staring,” Gavin grumbled under his breath, rubbing his hand over his mouth.

  I snorted and grabbed a couple of menus, yanking the two of them behind me. “Come on, sweetheart,” I said, louder than necessary. “Our baby girl needs to eat.”

  Unlike me, Gavin was very uncool with situations like these. Not to mention he didn’t have a funny bone in his body. He was like Collin’s clone in some ways. But Collin had an occasional laid-back side, while Gavin was usually all moody and gruff. Except when it came to Beaner.

  In the booth, Chloe sat in a booster seat next to me, kicking the underside of the table. Gavin’s gaze was drawn to the menu. He was burying his head behind it when our waitress approached.

  “What can I get you two?” She looked at me, then the top of Gavin’s head, before she smiled at Chloe.

  “Coffee for us, milk for the cutie here.” I winked at the waitress whose name tag read Bridget. Her pale cheeks flushed, making the freckles pop off her nose. She poured us both a cup, never losing her grin.

  “Max.”

  I blinked, meeting Gavin’s stare from across the table after she left. “What?”

  “You all right?” He looked from me to the retreating waitress and back again. “Because she just eyed the hell out of you, and you ignored her.”

  “I’m fine. Just not interested.” I leaned back in my seat to wrap my arm around Beaner, hoping Gavin didn’t question me. Unlike with Addie and Collin, I couldn’t hide the reason for my sudden abstinence.

  “You’re always interested.”

  I was. But not today. Or yesterday—or for the past seven days. I shrugged, not wanting to get into it.

  “At least tell me why we’re here when you could easily have cooked better food than this at home.”

  I leaned forward to pour some sugar into my coffee. “It’s Lia. I wanna talk about her, and I can’t do it at home with Collin around.”

  “You could’ve just come over to my place.”

  I rubbed my foot up and down his shin. “And miss out on a secret rendezvous with my lover?” I winked. He jerked his foot back, cussing under his breath as he nailed his knee against the bottom of the table.

  “What about Lia?” He narrowed his eyes.

  “I…” Fuck. This was a hell of a lot harder than I’d thought. “Do you know how she’s been this week? Addie ain’t got a clue, and Collin’s been too bent out of shape to care about anything.” Aside from picking her up from County, driving her home, and fighting with her along the way, I hadn’t seen or spoken to Lia since. Which really wasn’t much different than the way things had been, but still.

  “Why do you ask?” He smirked, probably already knowing the answer.

  “Just answer the question, would ya?”

  He ran his fingertip over the rim of his coffee cup. “Far as I know, she’s fine.” He frowned, always observant. “You gonna tell me why you’re suddenly asking me about Lia when you’re the one who’s been keeping tabs on her for the last five years?”

  Again. How could I answer without spilling the whole truth? That I missed what she and I had before she started dating Travis. That every time I closed my eyes at night she was there in my dreams. Oh, and that I was ninety-nine percent sure I was in love with her.

  “You can’t tell Collin what I’m about to tell you.”

  “Oh Jesus.” Gavin leaned back and ran a hand through his hair, reaching over to grab the fork Chloe had been slamming against the table. I was so lost in my head, I hadn’t noticed. “I can’t not tell Collin. You know the rules.”

  I bit down on my tongue. Never keep secrets, no matter how bad they are. That was the motto the three of us lived by. Yet this was different. At least to me it was. Because the secret I was about to tell was not my own to spill. At least not to Collin.

  Gavin kept going. “She pregnant?”

  “Pregnant?” I jerked my head back, just as the waitress brought our food to the table. She cleared her throat, but I ignored her, too caught up in Gavin’s words. “Who’d get her pregnant?”

  “Travis maybe?”

  My fingers tightened around my fork at the thought. “No. They broke up.” Not that the pregnant thing couldn’t have happened before they broke up. But I knew Lia was smarter than that.

  “Really?”

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  “Then what’s up? Why’re you so worried about her?”

  I sighed, hating that I had to g
o behind Lee-Lee’s back about this, but if I wanted Gav’s opinion, he needed to know what was up. “I bailed her out of jail early last Saturday morning.”

  “What?” Gavin froze, and the spoon he was holding dropped onto his plate.

  “Yup.”

  “What happened?” he asked.

  I cut up Chloe’s pancakes, then put her eggs on another plate so the two wouldn’t touch. “She found Travis screwing some girl in the alley at Jimney’s. Lia punched his nose, he pressed charges, and I had to bail her out.” I shoved the plate in front of my niece, picking up a bit of her eggs to entice her with. She curled her nose and turned her head, always the picky eater. “I’m worried he’ll keep bugging her is the thing.” Or worse.

  “What are we gonna do about it?” Gavin leaned back, arms folded.

  “Don’t you mean what am I gonna do about it?” Done with trying to force nasty food down Beaner’s throat, I relaxed in the booth with my coffee, scowling as I picked it up.

  He shook his head. “Lia’s like my sister. Not gonna let some douche bag mess with her. We’ve got to take care of this together.”

  I laughed. “You sound like a gangster.”

  “Funny.” He flipped me off.

  “Seriously.” I set my cup back down on the table, not even hungry for the steaming pile of garbage in front of me. “I can handle this on my own. I plan on stopping by Jimney’s. Hoping I can talk to her a little more. Make sure—”

  “When?” Gavin shoved his plate away too, then stole a slice of uneaten toast off Chloe’s napkin. She’d hardly touched anything, other than the eggs, which were all over the table now.

  “When what?” I opened a wet wipe the waitress had left behind.

  “When are you going to Jimney’s?”

  I shrugged. “Tonight, most likely.”

  “Then I’m there with you. Both of us. If she’s got issues and Travis shows, we’ll take care of him together.”

  I wanted to argue, to tell him he didn’t need to go out and pick fights. His hot head tended to take over, and with all the issues he’d been having lately—like the fact that he’d been put on leave because he’d punched another EMT—I didn’t need him doing time, any more than I needed Lia to. Still, I knew he was lonely, fighting his own demons the best he could. And because I had a hell of a hard time disappointing people, I couldn’t tell him no even if I should’ve.