The Right Kind of Reckless

by Heather Van Fleet

Eventually she squeezed her eyes shut, losing that fire I adored. “Please, Max.” When she reopened her eyes, the torment in her baby blues twisted me up. “You’re making this harder than it needs to be.”

  “Making what harder?” I rubbed my thumb along her chin.

  She shivered. “This, Max.” She moved around me and stepped away, flinging her hand in between us. “Us.”

  “What do you mean us? Our friendship?”

  “Stop being the annoying, overprotective big brother. I-I just… Jesus, Max, I’m in love with you. How can you not see it?”

  The air rushed out of my lungs. “You’re what?”

  She nodded once and looked at the floor, blinking, her face pink. “It’s why I pushed you away when you kept coming back.”

  Shock rendered me speechless. I knew she was attracted to me, but love?

  Holy. Fucking. Shit.

  “You love me?”

  This changed everything.

  She flinched, a small gesture that stabbed me in the gut, but I saw her nod. Just one tiny nod.

  “I’ve got to get back to work.”

  She turned to leave, but I grabbed her hand. “Fuck, no, wait. I’m sorry.” As she turned to face me, her hands shot up, blocking me.

  “Lee-Lee, shit. I’m sorry. I-I don’t know what to say. You told me you love me, and I just came here to say I’m sorry. My guts are all twisted up.” Not to mention my head.

  She loved me. Lia Montgomery, my purpose…loved me like I loved her.

  She scoffed, just as the strap of her tank top slipped over her tatted arm. “An ‘I’m not interested in you like that’ would have sufficed.”

  The table full of dudes to my right stared at us, probably thinking the worst. I wanted to jam my fingers in their eyes, tell them to mind their own business. But I had bigger fish to fry.

  “I’ve got to get back to work.” She turned to walk away.

  “Lia, would you just wait?” I growled, following her as she moved across the room.

  “What?” she snapped, scooping up an empty tray on the table to her right. “What could you possibly say that would make this night go even better than it already has?”

  “I… I’m in love with you too.” There. That wasn’t so hard. In fact, now that I’d said it once… “I’ve been in love with you since the day I moved to this town.”

  The tray she’d been holding slipped from her fingers and fell onto the floor with a crash. There was no going back. I was done fighting this thing between us, especially now that I knew how she felt. It just took my brain a few seconds to catch up to my heart.

  When she didn’t turn around, my heart started racing. My head spun too. With slow, unhurried steps, I pressed my chest to her back. “Talk to me,” I whispered, keeping my hands at my sides but my chin on her shoulder.

  “Don’t play with me, Maxwell.”

  “Never.” Unable to help myself, I leaned over and kissed the spot below her ear. Now that I’d said those words, everything inside me was begging to touch her. To make her officially mine in all the ways I could.

  “Y-you fuck girls. Then you walk away and start all over with the next lucky contestant. You don’t love girls. And you certainly don’t love me.”

  “You’re wrong,” I whispered. “So, so wrong. I’m done screwing around, Lee-Lee. Done. Hell, if I’m being honest with myself, the only reason I ever chose to fuck around like that was because I was trying to get you outta my system.”

  A snort fell out of her mouth. “And how’d that work out for you?”

  I shook my head. “Terribly.”

  She braced her hands on the edge of a table, her body trembling against mine. All traces of humor slipped away as she continued, “You say these things now, Max, but what happens when you decide that settling down isn’t for you after all? You can’t just pick me like I’m some random letter on Wheel of Fortune. I’m not disposable. I’m not some vowel you can purchase for one round. And I’m—”

  “Everything, Lee-Lee.” I turned her to face me and wrapped my arms around her waist. Lia needed to know, right here and right now, that I was no longer that guy. “You’re my everything. Have been for years.”

  Tears filled her eyes, but none slipped out. “Why would being with me, loving me, change that for you?”

  My smile fell. “Because love isn’t about spinning some wheel and landing on the next girl to screw, or picking whatever letter you think will fit some temporary puzzle.” I held her face between my hands, lowering my forehead to hers. “Love is choosing one winning person and enjoying them for the rest of your life.”

  Her lower lip trembled as she whispered, “This isn’t a game show.”

  I couldn’t help but grin as I ran the pad of my thumb over her chin. “You started the analogy. Only right I finished it.” I studied her for a second longer, in awe of her gorgeous face, her strength, and that fight inside her. God, why had I waited so long to do this? Say this? Fuck Collin. Fuck the world too. This—right here with Lia—was the answer to my prayers.

  Slowly, I lowered my lips to hers, not caring where we were, not caring who might be watching. I loved this girl. And I’d kiss her for a millennium just to let the world know that, game show or not, I had won this stunning woman.

  Her lips were slow to respond, like she wasn’t sure I was real. And if I was being honest with myself, I was terrified outta my mine that she’d up and disappear from beneath my hands. But I kept going, keeping it slow. This, right here, was my nonverbal version of I love you.

  My eyes opened to hers, all light and filled with awe. And that right there…that look? That was her nonverbal I love you too.

  “Lia!” Her head shot toward the bar, nearly ramming into my nose when she turned. Some guy I’d never seen before stood on the other side, buddied up with Aubrey. “Get your ass back to work.”

  My lip curled. “Who the hell is that?”

  She sighed. “Patricia’s new boyfriend. The guy’s been a douche since they got together, thinking he runs everything and everyone in here.”

  “Is that what’s bugging you tonight?”

  She looked at me from under her lashes, so innocent when I knew she was anything but. “Yeah. But I’ve got it handled.” She pressed her hand against my chest.

  I pulled her closer and hugged her, determined not to make a scene. I knew she needed to deal with this on her own, but I couldn’t help but get at least one dig in. “Quit. Right here, right now. You don’t need this job. Find a new one.”

  “I can’t just walk out.” Her hot breath huffed against my neck.

  “Why not?” I pulled back and looked at her, met with a glare.

  “Because I have to do the right thing. Give two weeks, which I’m planning to do tonight anyway.” She pulled away, dropping her arms to her sides like she wasn’t sure where things would go next between us.

  Good thing I was.

  I grabbed her hand and brought it to my mouth, kissing her knuckles. “If you’re worried about money, let me help. I’ll take care of you until you find a new job.”

  “No. Absolutely not. You’ve already paid my bail money and bought me a new freaking car. I will not owe you even more money than I already do.”

  It was my turn to scowl. “I don’t give two fucks about money. I just don’t like seeing you get treated like ass.”

  She blew her pink bangs out of her face, but they flopped right back over her eye. “It’s none of your business how people treat me.”

  “Fuck yes it is.” I put one hand to her neck. “I’m in love with you. And love means sharing every good, bad, and ugly thing together.”

  She nuzzled her cheek against my hand and shut her eyes, like she was savoring my touch. But it was over just as quick as it happened.

  “Three words do not give you the right to control my life and what hap
pens in it, Maxwell.”

  I’d been used to taking care of my ma for so long that it was hard not being able to take care of Lia too. I knew she needed her independence, needed to make it known to herself, and to the world around her, that she was a big girl with a big world at her feet to dive into. So, I let it go.

  “Fine. But we’re not done talking. I’ll see you tomorrow. Then after the game, we’re gonna talk about this some more.” I leaned forward and kissed her lips hard, just once.

  “Yeah…about the game. I wasn’t really planning on going because…” Her words were so soft that I barely heard them. But they said enough.

  “You weren’t planning on going to our first match of the year?”

  “Well, do you blame me? I thought you hated me again.”

  “You’ve never missed a match.”

  “My parents are coming home. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get there in time.” She pushed past me and headed to another table, but I grabbed her hand this time, squeezing it in mine.

  “Bring them with,” I said.

  She lifted her chin and smiled teasingly. “Maybe.”

  Before I could get in another word, she was gone, off to the bar. If I were more like my best friends, I wouldn’t have waited. I would’ve hightailed it her way, tossed her over my shoulder, and taken her back to that supply closet again. There, I’d kiss her, strip those leather pants, and fuck her hard against the wall. But I wasn’t like my best friend, at least not usually. Yet Lia made me wanna be that fucked-up caveman type. A type that wasn’t me.

  Still, those three words had been said. And Lia Montgomery would officially be mine…or I’d work myself to death to make that happen.

  Chapter 16

  Lia

  “This is madness, Leanne.” Mom gasped as she watched the fourteen men run across the field. “How can you tell who is who with all of their heads constantly butting together like that?”

  “The boys are grown. They know what they’re doing.” Dad squeezed my shoulder from his lawn chair. I smiled back at him from the grass, thankful to have him in my corner.

  My parents had flown back from their winter stay in Arizona this morning, both of them with golden tans and a happy-go-lucky outlook on life. It was sickening how giddy the two of them were. Of course, the last thing I wanted was for them to worry about their daughter’s love-life woes, which is why I’d kept up the facade of the doting sister who was dying to see her brother play rugby, when really, I couldn’t take my eyes off my brother’s best friend.

  “You’re never too old for a broken bone.” Mom frowned and took a drink of her bottled water.

  “It’s fine. Collin’s got life insurance.”

  Mom gasped. “Leanne Montgomery!”

  “Sorry, but it’s the truth.”

  She frowned, eyeing the tats on my arms once more. “That is not something you should joke about.”

  Frowning, I glanced toward the parking lot, praying like hell Addie and Chloe would get there sooner than later. I’d never needed them more.

  The second my parents stepped off the plane, Mom took one look at me and burst into tears. Not happy tears either. Apparently, the new additions to my body—the pink hair and additional tats—had been a little much for her to take.

  My transition from Old Lia to New Lia had been gradual at first. A few highlights here, a few hidden tattoos there. But throughout the past year especially, my body had craved more. At first, it had only been a ruse, something to help hide who I once was. Now though? I felt powerful with the ink, sexy with the pink hair too. It was a win-win for me…just not one for my mom.

  “So, tell us when we get to see this mysterious Addie,” Dad asked, leaning forward in his chair. He looked identical to Collin: black hair, same build, and two dimples that adorned his cheeks when he smiled. He, at least, didn’t seem bothered by my new appearance.

  “Soon, Daddy. You’ll love her.” I smiled and searched the field for my brother. At least he had to do the girlfriend intro thing. That would definitely take the heat off my back.

  My parents had loved Amy, Chloe’s mother, and were heartbroken when she passed. Now that Collin had a new girl for the first time since he’d gotten home from his tours, our parents were insanely curious to meet the person who’d swept their son off his feet.

  “How’s the job at the coffee shop coming along? Have you been getting more hours in now that you’ve gotten your degree out of the way?” Mom asked, leaning forward to grab her water bottle off the ground.

  I chanced a look at my dad, finding his gaze on the field. His eyes were narrowed a bit, proof that he hadn’t told my mom about my bartending gig. It wasn’t so much that I was ashamed of it, but that I didn’t want Mom to worry. She’d be worse than Max and Collin combined if she knew I’d become an employee at our town’s nastiest bar. Dad only knew because Collin had told him, but like me, Dad knew Mom would freak out about it, so he’d kept it a secret for me. And for her.

  Out of everyone in my family, Mom was the one who had seen me at my worst after I dropped out of college and moved back home. There were days when I’d refused to get out of bed. Days when I wouldn’t eat. The nightmares when I could fall asleep had kept her awake as much as they did me. I’d put her through hell, not that I could help it, which is why I did my best to shelter her about my current status.

  Dad knew I could handle things now. That my job at Jimney’s was only temporary until I could finally land a real job as a teacher. I’d given two weeks’ notice last night, just like I told Max I would.

  I couldn’t continue to work there, especially now that Patricia’s newest psycho was acting as the boss. He’d hit on me and called me a skank in one night. Something Max would beat him bloody for if he knew. I’d taken care of it though by letting the air out of the boyfriend’s truck tires before I left the parking lot after work. I was evil when I wanted to be and sweet when I had to be. It was a decent combo of awesome, I’d say.

  The good news was that I’d paid off the last of my tuition and garnered some savings to help get by for a bit. Not just from tip money at Jimney’s and my measly salary from Java Java’s, but also because I’d sold quite a few of my personal possessions. I knew things would be okay, that once I made a steady income, I could replace material items.

  “Leanne, did you hear what I asked?” Mom put her hand on my arm. When I looked up, I found her gaze on my face for the first time in at least an hour.

  “Yeah, sorry. Work is great, Mom.” I cleared my throat and chanced a look across the field. Off to the side, Max stood, his hands on his hips, his eyes on me. I gave him a slight wave as I said to Mom and Dad, “I’m gonna use the restroom really quick. Be right back.”

  I quickly grabbed the jersey sitting under Max’s bag a few feet ahead of me on the grass, wondering what he’d say when he saw me wearing it. Mom had been glaring at my tats enough for one day, so I hoped she’d be less freaked out if I covered them up.

  Leaning against the back of the brick building that housed the bathrooms, I texted Addie, asking where she was. Seconds later, she sent a text.

  Not going to make it. Chloe fell asleep, and I don’t want to wake her up.

  Frustrated I wouldn’t have them as my backers, I blew out a breath and pocketed my cell. I pulled Max’s jersey on over my shirt. It was long, landing just above my knees, but it did the job I needed by covering my shoulders and arms. I rarely cared what I wore, but today was different. I felt dirty, though I knew my mother didn’t really think that about me.

  Five minutes of fidgeting went by, and the uneasy ache squeezing my stomach refused to go away. I covered my face with my hands and shook my head, hating that I wanted to hide.

  “Lia. What’re you doing?”

  I looked up, finding Gavin’s imposing form standing in front of me. His brows jumped curiously over his green eyes as he searched
my face.

  I was glad he was home. But we all could see a change in him. He was more subdued than before, quieter but less angry too, which was strange. None of us could quite wrap our heads around his constant disappearing act, but because he was Gavin the super secret-keeper, we let it go.

  On a sigh, I leaned my head back against the wall. “Um, would you believe me if I said I was taking a piss?”

  “Girls don’t piss.” He nudged my shoulder with his own as he moved to stand at my side. The game must have ended, which meant Max would likely be looking for me soon. I wanted that more than anything, but at the same time, the pressure of dealing with the parentals and him was almost too much to deal with.

  “You of all people know that pee and piss are the same, Mr. Medical Man.”

  Not taking the bait, he frowned, studying me in that unnerving Gavin way. When he pursed his lips, the scruff he’d developed over the past few weeks moved as well. He was so oddly attractive, in that younger Josh Duhamel way—Josh Duhamel meets Charlie Hunnam—that even I got a little light-headed around him.

  “This about your parents?”

  “How did you know?” I folded my arms over my stomach, nervous for some reason.

  He kicked his cleat against the wall we were leaning against. “You seem off today. Figured it was either Max or that.”

  “Why’d you think it had something to do with Max?” I held my breath, not sure what to expect for an answer. Gavin was a very studious man. Aware of his surroundings and the people in them as well. He was a reader, I guess you could say. The fact that he was also best friends with Max didn’t hurt.

  “Because love’s complicated, that’s why.” His eyebrows scrunched together, and he looked at me as though the answer was simple.

  “Love, huh?” I couldn’t help but grin. “Nobody I know is in love.” At least, nobody he needed to know about right now. I rolled my eyes at his serious demeanor, then shoved him a bit. He didn’t budge, a huge, massive force that never failed to awe me. “You’re something else, Gavin St. James.”

  His lips twitched like he was fighting a smile, something he didn’t do too often. “As are you, Little Montgomery.” He paused. “Seriously though. If you ever wanna talk about stuff”—he shoved his hands into the pockets of his black rugby shorts—“I’m pretty good at listening.”