“ I miss him, too.”
TJ nodded again. He felt like a small child whose favorite dog ran away as Antonio rocked him in his arms.
“ That’s enough feeling sorry for ourselves. It's time to finish up with your punishment. You had no right to speak to Mitch the way you did. You made a bad situation worse with your tantrum.”
“ I'll apologize to Mitch.”
“ Yes, you will. But first, I'm going to spank you like a little boy for your childish behavior.”
TJ felt secretly aroused by those words, but the pain and the shame kept him from enjoying any of his punishment. Antonio took a seat in the discipline chair, and TJ laid over his lap as expected.
“ Do I still have to count?”
“ Do you still feel a need to yell and carry on?”
“ No, sir.”
“ Then, no, use this time to cry out your hurt and disappointment.”
“ Yes, sir,” TJ said, with relief and appreciation.
Antonio paddled him ten more times before laying the paddle aside. TJ's backside was an angry red that matched his earlier outrage. Antonio shifted his knee to tilt TJ's hind end up. He spanked the extra flesh between his boy's curvy bottom and his upper thighs with his large and powerful hand. TJ squirmed and kicked for that last three minutes of his punishment. He wasted no time crying out his worries and grief in losing Danny. When Antonio felt TJ was sufficiently spanked, he helped him to rise up, and face him once again.
“ Okay, TJ,” Antonio said, drying off his remaining tears, “Mitch and I need time alone to sort things out. So, I would like for you and Ricky to go to bed in your old room tonight.”
*****
Ricky and TJ were sent to bed early with sore bottoms and heavy hearts.
“ Tell me, what did you think of your first spanking?” TJ asked Ricky, once his was sure that Mitch and Antonio were settled behind the closed door of the master bedroom.
“ It was scary. I was so afraid I'd embarrass myself. I didn't want to disappoint them by crying or making a fool out of myself. After a while it was too much, and once I starting crying, I couldn't stop.”
Ricky found it surprisingly easy to share his private thoughts with TJ. It helped that TJ was always straightforward with his feelings; nothing seemed to embarrass him.
“ Mitch and Antonio don't mind if you put up a fuss during corporal punishment. Still, I can understand how you felt. The first time they spanked me, I wanted to take it like a man. I soon discovered that sometimes it feels better to let it all out. Plus, if Antonio is the one doing the punishing, he might take it easier on you if you start to cry.”
“ It was amazing. They didn't mind that I was crying or yelling. They saw me at my worst, and afterwards, Antonio told me I would always belong to them. I never felt so safe in my whole life.”
“ Yeah, I know what you mean. Not that I'd want to get spanked if I can avoid it. It hurts!” TJ pouted bigger than Danny while rubbing his tender backside.
“ It sure does,” Ricky agreed.
They both giggled for a moment and then Ricky became serious again. “TJ, I'm sorry about Danny. I didn't mean to come between you two.”
“ It's not your fault. Danny would have left eventually. Having you here just forced the issue sooner,” TJ said, with regrettable confidence.
“ Maybe, but I know how much he means to you. I'm sorry that he's gone. I really liked him, too.”
“ He'll come around,” TJ said, more to convince himself than to reassure Ricky.
“ Sometimes I think I never should have stayed,” Ricky confessed.
“ Really? Not me,” TJ said, with a wink, “because then I couldn't do this.” TJ dove under the covers and started making blurping noises against Ricky's stomach. Ricky started laughing uncontrollably, and then squealed in delight as TJ dove down a little further. “What's so funny?” TJ gargled with a mouth full of Ricky's manhood. He popped his head back up from under the covers. “Don't you know it's bad for a man's ego to be laughed at in bed?”
A wide smile lit up Ricky's face. “I love you,” he sighed.
“ Of course you do,” TJ replied, with a smirk. “Nobody can resist my skills as a trumpet player.”
“ No, of course not,” Ricky agreed, with feigned seriousness.
TJ turned Ricky on his side and spooned him against his body. “I love you, too,” he whispered in his ear.
Ricky let his worries and fears subside for the night. He closed his eyes, content in TJ's arms.
Top Tension
Mitch and Antonio laid quietly in bed together with their private thoughts racing loudly through their heads.
“ I hate not knowing where he is,” Antonio said, speaking his thoughts out loud, and breaking the silence.
“ He's at Ethan's.” Mitch didn't need to be told whom he was referring to. He had no doubt about who was occupying his partner's mind.
“ How do we know that? For all we know he's out at some club.”
“ Apparently he's been out at a lot of clubs we didn't know about while he was living with us.”
“ I'd feel a lot better if I knew where Brendan was.”
“ I'll find him. I'm not going to have my boys afraid to leave the house.”
“ Mitch, don't take what TJ said seriously. He was upset. We need to think this through before we do anything.”
“ I realize that, but he's right. We can't wait around for something to happen.”
“ We can call the police.”
“ For what? Brendan hasn't done anything that the police would be interested in. The restraining order is no longer in effect. Besides, it's best if I take care of it.”
“ What do you say we take care of it together, after we sleep on it?”
“ That's probably a good idea. You look as tired as I feel.”
“ It's been a long day,” Antonio confirmed.
Mitch was exhausted, but he was not going to rest with so much lingering uncertainty. He waited for Antonio to fall asleep. Then, he discreetly left the house.
His first stops were to the bars that Danny confessed to seeing Brendan at. His next plan was to hit all the gay bars in the surrounding area. A tedious search to find him proved unsuccessful. His time wasn't completely fruitless, however. He made sure to inform the bartenders and bouncers who recognized Danny, that if they continued to allow him into their establishments, he would report them for serving alcohol to a minor.
“ Where the hell have you been?” Antonio asked the minute Mitch stepped back into the master bedroom.
“ I've been out,” Mitch answered wearily.
“ Out? That's all you've got to say? Who are you? One of the boys?”
“ Antonio, I'm tired. I don't need your grief right now.”
“ And I don't need your bullshit right now. I don't care that you're tired. It's your own damn fault for being out all night. Since when did we start keeping secrets from each other?”
“ You're right. I'm sorry.”
“ Sorry?! If you were one of the boys, I'd paddle your backside black and blue.”
“ Okay, mama bear, I hear ya,” Mitch said, holding up his hands and admitting defeat.
“ It's not funny, Mitch. I was up all night worrying. What you did was wrong and unfair!”
“ I promise I won't do it again. I couldn't sleep, so I went out for a drive.”
“ Don't make matters worse by lying. I know what you were doing. I thought we agreed we would handle the situation together.”
“ Antonio, there is no reason for the both of us to go after Brendan
. One of us needs to stay back and take care of the boys in case something happens.”
“ You mean in case you end up in jail or the hospital?”
“ Don't be so melodramatic.”
“ Don't be such a maverick. You're the one who's overreacting. The boys aren't helpless, and you're not invincible.”
“ I realize that, but I can handle Brendan on my own.”
“ Mitchell McAllister, stop being so damn hard headed! You may be able to handle Brendan on your own, but that's not the point. The point is you don't need to. Whatever we do, we're going to do together. Is that clear?”
Mitch smiled and put his arms out for a reconciliation hug. “Yes, sir.”
“ I'm serious, Mitch,” Antonio said, brushing off his hug.
“ I know,” Mitch said, with his arms wide seeking forgiveness.
Antonio reluctantly stepped into his hug. “I'm still mad at you.”
“ As you should be.” Mitch gathered Antonio in his arms and brought him into bed.
Days after their argument was settled, they had spent several long nights searching for Brendan together. The word on the street was that he was no longer around, and must have left town. Mitch and Antonio continued to be on edge for a while, but nobody had heard or seen from him. All any of them could do was hope that Brendan took Ricky's threat to run seriously, and was gone for good.
Bottom Tension
TJ couldn't keep away from Danny. He came to visit him with a box of his things.
“ Thanks, Jay.”
TJ followed Danny into his bedroom at his new apartment. “I don't understand. Why couldn't you wait to move out?”
“ If Antonio sent you over to convince me that I'm too young to take care of myself, you're wasting your energy,” Danny said, annoyed that TJ was starting in on him already.
“ Why are you angry all the time? What did we do?”
“ You didn't do anything. I'm not mad, I just want to be on my own.”
“ That's funny, because you have Ricky convinced that he did something to make you hate him. The rest of us are left feeling guilty, like we did something wrong.”
“ I told you, nobody did anything wrong!”
“ Then what is it? Because we all miss you! You complain that you want to be treated like an adult, but the older you get, the more you act like a spoiled brat!”
Danny wanted to appear as if everything was fine. Somehow, TJ could always get under his skin, causing him to react with raw emotion. “I put up with all your crap, those dumb rules, and all those stupid spankings! And, now that I'm almost eighteen, you want Ricky, but you don't want me!” he shouted.
TJ was stunned by his admission and it took him a moment to respond. “That's not true. We all want you,” he insisted.
Danny turned away embarrassed. He opened his box of belongings, and picked up the faded blue hoodie that TJ placed on top. He batted away the tears blocking his vision. “I was there longer. I loved you longer,” he said in a small voice, with his back to TJ.
TJ stepped between him and the box forcing Danny to look at him. “I love you, too. We all...”
“ Shut up!” Danny yelled. He dismissed TJ's attempt to console him with brotherly affection. “That's not what I mean. There is only one way I'll come back, and it's not as your little brother.”
TJ was once again quiet as he took in the scope of what Danny was telling him. “Baby, do you really know what you're asking?”
“ I'M NOT A BABY!”
“ No, I didn't mean that. There is just a lot to consider here.”
“ What's there to consider? Dddo you like me or nnot?” Danny asked, choking on the lump in his throat.
“ Of course I like you. I've always liked you.”
Danny slumped down on the bed holding the sweatshirt to his chest. “That's not what I mean,” he repeated.
TJ ached for Danny and the sorrow on his sweet face. “I know what you mean,” TJ said, as he sat down next to him. “You've had my heart since the first time I laid eyes on you.”
“ I don't understand,” Danny cried in frustration.
“ Danny, not being with you is the first selfless thing I've ever done. Do you have any idea how hard it was to walk past your room at night, and not go in? Do you have any idea how difficult it was to hold you, and not allow my baser instincts to take over?”
“ Yeah, I think I have an idea,” Danny scoffed. “Do you have any idea what it's like to be around the four of you and not...” He couldn't say it.
“ What?” TJ implored him to answer.
“ At least you have someone, three other people, actually. It's obvious how much you love them. Even you're smart enough not to sacrifice all that for me.”
“ The sacrifice was for you , not them. No matter how much I wanted you, I wasn’t what you needed. You deserved more than what I could offer. You needed a chance to grow up.”
“ Thanks, but now that I'm grown, what do I have?”
“ You still have us, and a chance to meet someone who...”
“ I only want to be with you guys,” Danny said, desperate to be understood.
“ How can you be so sure?”
“ I love you guys, I don't want to be with anybody else. I don't like any other men.”
“ Please, Danny, give it some time. Come back home to us. We all miss you. Nobody wanted you to leave. I'll talk to the others. Maybe someday they'll see you as an adult and be willing to...”
“ I can't, it hurts too much.”
*****
TJ tried to explain Danny's feelings to the others. He didn't want to betray his trust, but he thought it was important that they understood why Danny was acting the way he was.
“ Crushes can be painful,” Antonio acknowledged.
“ It's not a crush. He said he loves us,” TJ clarified.
“ I'm sure he loves us in his own way.”
“ No, Antonio, that's not what he was saying. He's in love with us. All of us.”
“ He's just a baby,” Antonio said, dismissing the thought as anything serious.
“ He's not a baby. He'll be eighteen next month.”
“ Eighteen is not that old. At that age you think you know everything, and it's difficult to realize what it is you don't know.”
“ Well, he figured out enough to know he won't come back unless we're in love with him, too.”
TJ left the three of them to contemplate what he told them. He sat on the bed in Danny's room to gather the strength needed to repair his aching heart in private. He was feeling down and discouraged. If it were up to him, Danny would be with them now, being loved and cared for. Sadly, he understood their point of view, and he didn't want them to think that he was being ungrateful for what he had.
Chapter Two
Getting Danny
Ethan was excited when Danny asked to move in with him, even if he made it clear he only wanted to be friends. The teen was a breath of fresh air to hang around with. Ethan enjoyed taking him under his wing - exposing him to new things. Danny probably would have been willing to have a casual fling with him, except he was a little scared to take the relationship to the next level. He was definitely attracted to Ethan. He was the first person to even come close to the men Danny was in love with. What worried him was the whole sex thing. He hated to appear like an innocent novice, especially in front of a friend. And, well...did it hurt? He lost his virginity to a girl when he was fifteen, and he hated the idea having to go through the awkwardness of being inexperienced again. He had to get his experience with men somehow. He just wasn't sure he wanted his first
time to be with Ethan. Maybe someone I'd never have to see again, in case I make a fool out of myself , he thought.
Danny could no longer go back to the bars he frequented with Ethan. Mitch put a stop to that. Therefore, he had to find other places to meet men and get the experience he was seeking. During the second week at his new apartment, Danny began going out on his own – places Ethan would never be interested in. On a crisp fall night, he rode the A train until midnight, and then hopped off not far from a place he found on the Internet.
He slipped in while the bouncer was distracted, and was immediately bombarded by the loud droning music and pulsing neon lights. The lead singer of the band was shrieking his dissatisfaction with life, as drunken patrons on the dance floor slammed into each other to the blaring rhythm of the bass. They were all dressed to match the occasion. Their cavalier attitude and grungy attire gave the illusion that they didn't care about their appearance. It was their attention to detail that gave them away. They were covered from head to toe with lurid, attention-seeking apparel. Danny felt self-conscious in his tight jeans and ripped tee shirt.
“ Who's the twink?”
“ What's your name sweet thing?”
“ Are you sure you're in the right place?”
Danny squeezed past the men ignoring their comments. Everyone was coming on too fast and too strong. He wanted a chance to check things out - to get a feel for the place first. Nobody was giving him the chance; he felt like fresh meat in a tank full of barracudas.
“ Come over here with that tight little ass of yours,” a man from the bar called, waving him over.
Even though Danny didn't like playing sweet and innocent, he knew if he wanted to attract older men, he had to work with what he had. He stood up on his toes, and leaned over the bar. “What does a guy have to do to get a drink around here?”
“ Do you have ID?”
Danny offered the bartender a charming smile, making sure to display his deep set of dimples. “I have money,” he said, placing a twenty on the bar.
“ Put your money away, doll. I'll buy your drink.”
Bringing Home Danny Page 33
