Sempre (Forever)

by JM Darhower

  Laughter rang out from the doorway. Haven’s head snapped in that direction to see Tess standing there. “He’s still an asshole.”

  Dia rolled her eyes. “He’s not that bad.”

  “You’ve always had a ridiculous soft spot for him,” Tess said, strolling toward them. “You never listened to me, even though you’re supposed to since I’m the older sister.”

  “Older by ten minutes,” Dia said, shaking her head. “Doesn’t make you right. Carmine’s a good person.”

  “Yeah, right. A good person who pulled an angry dragon.”

  Dia cringed. “Gross.”

  “What was the girl’s name, that brunette chick? I can’t remember,” Tess said. “Not that it matters. She’s just one of many.”

  Haven eyed them curiously. “What’s an angry dragon?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Dia said. “He’d never do it now.”

  “If the girl wants to know what that boyfriend of hers has done, we should tell her,” Tess said. “You know how a dragon breathes fire? Let’s just say they call it an angry dragon because she looks like a dragon and she’s really angry after you do it to her.”

  Haven didn’t quite get it. “Carmine did that to a girl?”

  “Carmine’s done a lot of crap,” Tess said, shaking her head. “That’s just the tip of the iceberg.”

  The next few minutes were filled with stories, things Carmine had done and people he’d hurt. Tess spoke casually, as if those incidents were normal, as if those people didn’t matter, but they did. They were just girls like Haven, turning to him for affection, and he humiliated them.

  Who was he?

  “He did a lot of it because Nicholas dared him,” Dia said. “Those two were always daring each other to do stupid stuff and neither would back down.”

  “Just like neither will back down now,” Tess said. “And speaking of Nicholas, we can add his sister to the list.”

  An awkward silence fell upon the room. “He told me about that one,” Haven said. “I asked him about the fight at the football game.”

  Dia sighed. “We still talk to Nicholas when we see him around, but it’s not the same. He feels betrayed.”

  Tess laughed dryly. “That’s because we picked Carmine over him. They forced us to choose sides by being immature brats.”

  “I know,” Dia said. “I wish they’d work it out.”

  Tess nodded, clearing her throat. “Anyway, we went way off course. That’s enough about Nicholas. There’s nothing we can do about him now.”

  Tess and Dia left a few minutes later. Haven stood in front of the mirror, nervously smoothing her shirt when the soft voice rang out.

  “Knock, Knock.”

  Haven turned toward the doorway, her eyes falling on Carmine. Her chest swelled with emotion at the sight of him. His hair was in disarray from not having been cut in weeks, his face marked with his dimpled smile. He had on the green and gray shirt he’d asked about earlier and a pair of faded blue jeans.

  She still had the stories floating around in her head, all of those horrible things he’d done to girls in the past. She couldn’t deny it worried her that he was capable of being cruel, but standing there, staring at him, it seemed like it wasn’t relevant. That was the past, and their future was convoluted, but at the present, it seemed all right.

  She thought about telling him how handsome he looked, but the words that rolled from her lips instead were the last ones she expected to say. “Did you fold the rest of the clothes when you got your shirt out of the dryer?”

  He laughed. “I’m afraid not.”

  “I guess they can wait,” she said, turning back to the mirror. It was easy to see it was her, with her flushed cheeks, scattered scars, and the bump on the nose, but she felt different. For once, she didn’t see those flaws first. She knew they were there, as they’d always be, but it wasn’t what stood out. She noticed her cheeks were fuller, her hair was less frizzy, and her eyes didn’t seem as tired as before.

  Carmine walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You look amazing, mia bella ragazza.”

  She smiled, watching their reflection. “So I’m not a schifosa?”

  He chuckled. “Definitely not. You, my lady, are bellissima.”

  * * * *

  The New Years Eve party was being held in a vacant field on the outskirts of Durante. Once a cotton farm, it had been abandoned by the family that owned it years ago. The barn still stood, empty and collapsing, and the ground was overgrown from lack of use. No one would ever farm on it again, but it was the ideal place for an impromptu gathering.

  Haven eyed the place peculiarly as Carmine parked, dozens of cars surrounding them. It was already late, everything shrouded in darkness, but Haven could see a large bonfire in the distance.

  “You ready?”

  She wasn’t, but she nodded anyway.

  Carmine took her hand as they strolled through the field. A few people greeted him, but Carmine seemed distracted as he looked around. He diverted them to the left, taking her to where Dia stood by herself along the side. “I’ll be back, okay? Stay here.”

  He looked torn as he let go of her hand before walking away. Haven glanced at Dia once Carmine disappeared. This was the reason she’d considered not coming in the first place. “I’ll be fine on my own. You can go have fun.”

  Dia laughed. “Fun? I think not. This is so not my scene. I’d rather hang out with you.”

  Her response surprised Haven, but she felt a sense of relief when the words sunk in. Someone would rather spend time with her.

  The two of them chatted for a bit, and people walked past as if they weren’t even there. Haven heard familiar laughter eventually and turned around in enough time to see Dominic. He draped his arm over her shoulder. Tess paused in front of her as Dominic thrust a cup at Haven. “Here, got you a drink. Don’t take anything from any of these other fuckers around here.”

  She took it from him, sniffing the liquid. “Uh, thank you.”

  “Sure thing. I didn’t know what you’d want, so I just got you some beer from the keg. I figured you wouldn’t like it, but none of us do, and we drink it anyway.” He raised his own cup and hit hers with it. “Welcome to the club.”

  He tipped back his drink, chugging, as Haven took a sip and grimaced at the bitterness. She drank the beer despite its taste and started loosening up as they joked around. She laughed along with them, feeling almost like she fit in.

  Almost like… one of them.

  “Hey, Dom.”

  The voice rang out behind them. Dominic turned, swinging Haven around with him. She nearly tripped over her own feet and saw Nicholas standing there.

  Dominic bumped his fist with Nicholas’s. “What’s up?”

  “Not much,” Nicholas said, nodding his head toward Haven. “You decide to trade Tess in?”

  Dominic laughed. “No, I'm just watching over this one so the vultures don’t start circling.”

  “Yeah, I heard Lisa running her mouth earlier.” Nicholas turned to her. “Nice to see you again, Haven.”

  She was surprised he was being so nice after what happened during their last meeting. “You, too.”

  He smiled. “So, what did one snowman say to the other?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know, what?”

  “Smells like carrots.”

  She didn’t get it, but Dominic laughed.

  “Anyway, I just wanted to say hi,” Nicholas said. “I’ll catch you guys later. Have a good night.”

  He walked away, and Haven looked at Dominic curiously. “You still like him after he said something bad about your mama?”

  Dominic nodded. “Nicholas shouldn’t have said what he said, but he just wanted to hurt Carmine. And before you came along, twinkle toes, the only way to hurt Carmine was through mom.”

  Dominic swung her back around to join the others, and they chatted as she drank the rest of her beer. She heard a chuckle near her later, so close it made her skin pric
kle. Carmine leaned down, his lips beside her ear. “Hey, hummingbird.”

  Carmine’s breath hit her neck, the smell of mint and alcohol intoxicating her senses. She couldn’t focus on what was going on, the electricity sparking off of him sending currents through her. She felt light-weight, buzzing, on top of the world.

  She worried she was going to fall over.

  He pulled her to him from behind, resting his chin on her head as he held his drink to her lips. She took a sip, his warm beer just as bitter as hers had been.

  Dominic groaned. “Didn’t I tell you not to take cups from people?”

  “It’s just Carmine,” she said.

  “So? He could drug you.”

  “Yeah, I could,” Carmine joked. “I did once, remember? Actually, no, twice. I forgot I got you high that time, too. Not to mention the time I got you drunk. Christ, I’m horrible. I’ve corrupted you.”

  She wanted to disagree but could only grasp onto his forearms to stabilize herself as he kissed her neck. The feel of his mouth against her skin ripped all coherent thought right from her head.

  “You’re trembling,” he said. “Let’s take a walk.”

  Carmine grabbed her hand, linking their fingers together as he wordlessly led her toward the parked cars. They were strolling slowly when someone called Carmine’s name, and they both glanced in the direction of the voice. Haven saw a girl leaning against a black car, wearing a tiny skirt. She had to be freezing, because Haven could feel the cold through her thick jeans.

  “Kayla,” Carmine said.

  The girl’s eyes raked down his body, and a sudden surge of anger flooded Haven. She didn’t like the looks she was giving him. The girl turned from him after a moment, her focus shifting to Haven. “He’ll drop you like a bad habit.”

  Haven’s inebriation made her confidence swell, the words flying from her mouth before she could register what she was saying. “Maybe, but at least I’m not a schifosa.”

  Kayla’s eyes narrowed. “What did you just say?”

  “I think she called you a schifosa,” Carmine said as he pulled Haven away. Although she felt brave, the world seemed to be moving in slow motion.

  They walked toward the car in silence, and Haven saw Carmine’s eyes dancing with excitement. “Where did that come from, tesoro?”

  “I don’t know,” she admitted. “It just came out.”

  “Well, do that shit more often, baby, because that was hot.”

  He smiled, kissing her. She parted her lips, deepening it as he walked her backward until she hit the car. Breaking the kiss briefly, he grabbed a hold of her. She yelped with surprise as he set her down on the hood. He settled between her legs, and she laced her fingers through his hair as their lips met once more.

  Her heart raced at the closeness. His body was flush against hers, the heat radiating from him warming every inch of her. He pulled away slightly then to take a breath, their foreheads touching with a light sheen of sweat on his. Her nose brushed against his as she stared into his eyes, the green radiant. Looking into them, she could see the emotion deep inside of him, hints of all those things she felt flourishing in her. To Carmine, she wasn’t a possession. She wasn’t a title. She was just a girl.

  A girl who suddenly felt like she was floating.

  “I love you.” The words tumbled from her lips so easily, like they’d rolled from her tongue hundreds of times. But they hadn’t. She’d never said it before, but as she heard them in her own voice, every cell in her body knew they were true. She hadn’t known what love was, but she knew it now. Love was the fluttering in her tummy whenever Carmine was near, the twinkle in his eye when he laughed, the heat in her body from his words. Love was happy. Love was safe. Love was green.

  Love was him, the beautifully flawed boy who made her glow.

  He stared at her, those words hanging in the air between them.

  “And I love you,” he said, his voice a whisper, but Haven felt it powerfully, deep down in her soul. “Ti amo, mia bella ragazza. Per sempre.”

  “Sempre?” she asked.

  Cracking a smile, he brushed his pointer finger softly across her lips. “Always and forever.”

  There was a loud whistling at that moment, followed by a thunderous bang. Haven ducked and covered her ears as Carmine continued to stare at her. “It’s just fireworks.”

  He helped her down and leaned against the car door with her against his chest, his arms around her. There was another loud whistle, and she looked in the direction of it as the bang rang out with the burst of color. She gaped at the sky, stunned by the vibrant lights, and Carmine chuckled. “See, just fireworks, tesoro. Nothing to be afraid of. They won’t hurt you.”

  They watched them quietly before the crowd by the bonfire started counting down. Carmine swung her around to face him, more fireworks going off in the distance. He leaned down and kissed her deeply when the countdown reached one.

  “Do you have any idea how important you are to me?” he asked, pulling back from her lips. “I’m finding myself again because of you. I never thought it would happen. My mom used to talk about fate all the time, and I think you’re it... you're my fate. You were brought to me for a reason, for us to save each other. Because you weren’t the only one needing saved, Haven. I was drowning, and you rescued me.” He paused. “Happy new year, hummingbird.”

  She laughed after a moment. “You just said all of that without cursing.”

  He blinked a few times. ”I guess I did. Well, then… fuck.”

  * * * *

  Carmine held Haven tightly, the two of them enjoying the newfound silence. The fireworks had stopped and the crowd quieted, so all that was left was them in the darkness. He could smell her flowery shampoo, so feminine and sweet, and all he could think about was how sexy she looked. Those other girls, with their and miniskirts and makeup, weren’t sexy to him anymore. La mia bella ragazza, with her chewed up fingernails and flushed cheeks, was sexy. Because sexiness wasn’t manufactured—the shit was real.

  She was real.

  “I never hoped for a future until I met you,” she said after a while, “but I want us to have one.”

  “You don’t know how much I love hearing you say that.” He brushed her hair aside and ran his tongue up her neck, circling her earlobe. “Can I keep you?” he whispered, laughing and pulling away from her as soon as the words came out. “What’s wrong with me? I’m quoting Casper.”

  She glanced back at him. “Casper?”

  “Yeah, Casper, the friendly ghost.” He hoped she knew what he was talking about, but she just stared at him. “It doesn’t matter. It’s just some stupid movie. You’d probably like it.”

  There was a hard edge to her voice. “What are you saying?”

  He blanched. “I didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t suggesting you’d like it because it was stupid or because you’re stupid.” He groaned. “Not that you’re stupid, because you aren’t. That didn’t come out right. You know I don’t think that. I’m amazed at how quickly you pick up on things. You’d have to be fucking stupid not to see you’re smart.” He paused. “I should probably shut up now.”

  The corner of her lips turned up as she leaned back against him. “Thank you.”

  “For knowing when to shut up?”

  She laughed. “No, for always thinking about my feelings. I know that’s not something you’re used to doing.”

  “You’re right. I used to be an obnoxious asshole. You have no idea.”

  “I think I have some idea.”

  “I don’t think so. If you knew about the things I’ve done, you probably wouldn’t come anywhere near me.”

  “You mean like the angry dragon?”

  He froze, his hand stilling on her side. “What did you just say?”

  “You angry dragoned some girl.”

  “Who told you that?” She just stared down at the ground, and he shook his head. “Never mind, I know the answer. Tess.”

  He went to pull away from her, but she
gripped his arms tightly to keep them there. “Don’t be angry at Tess.”

  “She shouldn’t have told you that.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s wrong. I can’t deny I did it, but it’s different with you.”

  She sighed. “I know, Carmine. Do you think I would kiss you if I didn’t trust you to be careful with me?”

  He didn’t know how to respond. He could try to explain why he did what he did, but there were no good excuses.

  “I’m surprised you’d let me touch you after hearing that,” he said. He expected her to be disgusted. Hell, he was disgusted.

  She turned to him, cupping his cheeks with her palms. “Would you ever do that angry dragon thingy to me?”

  “Fuck no.”

  “What if I asked you to?”

  “Do you even know what that is, Haven? It’s sick.”

  “So even if I wanted you to do it, you’d refuse?”

  “Of course I’d refuse. Why are you even asking me?”

  She hugged him, laying her head against his chest. “Thank you.”

  “For being a disgusting prick?”

  “No, for putting my well-being first. It’s nice to know you’d disappoint me if it meant keeping me safe. I’ve never had someone look out for me before.”

  He was stunned she managed to get that from a conversation that could’ve been catastrophic. “I’ll always do what’s best for you, Haven.”

  “Can I ask you something else?”

  He groaned. “As long as it has nothing to do with dragons.”

  “Did those other girls deserve that stuff? You say I don’t deserve to be hurt like that... does that mean you think they did?”

  “Uh, no. Even if they were willing and knew how I was, it doesn’t make it right. If you had any common sense, you’d be running the other way as fast as possible right now.”

  “If I had common sense?” she teased. “Are you calling me stupid again, Carmine?”

  “You think you’re funny, don’t you?” He grabbed her sides and started tickling her. She pushed away from him and tried to pull his hands off, but he kept it up, loving the sound of her laughter.