Sempre (Forever)

by JM Darhower

  He glanced at Haven toward the end of the song, his fingers stilling when he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. Reaching over, he brushed some of them away. She let out a shaky breath as she placed her hand on top of his. “Can we go inside?”

  “Sure.” He stood up and led her into the cabin for the first time. She paused right inside the door. The room had a subtle glow, making the dozens of roses faintly visible.

  He scooted around her and turned on some music on his laptop, scanning through songs when he felt Haven brush against him. She pulled off her coat and draped it over a chair before grabbing a rose. Bringing it to her nose, she inhaled its sweet scent and peeked at him with a smile. She kicked off her shoes again and sat down on the bed, her bottom lip between her teeth.

  Carmine tossed his suit coat onto the table and lit the fireplace before walking over to her. She glanced up as he approached, and he could see the tears her eyes. Her expression made his steps falter. “You okay, hummingbird?”

  Her voice cracked as she whispered. “Perfect.”

  “Perfect, indeed.” He cupped her cheek and kissed her as she ran her hands through his hair. She moaned as he pushed her onto her back and leaned over her with his hands on both sides of the bed.

  He pulled from her mouth, needing to take a breath, and nudged her head to the side to kiss her neck. She breathed deeply, her fingers lacing firmly in his locks.

  “Carmine,” she said as he kissed toward her collarbones. “Make love to me.”

  He stilled his movements. Strong emotions swirled through him—shock and elation, with a ton of fear mixed in. His eyes met hers. “Haven…”

  He wanted to—Christ, did he want to—but there was no turning back from that.

  “Please,” she said. “I want to.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She nodded, no hesitation. “It feels right. We’re right.”

  He felt it then, too. He felt a confidence that had been missing. Right there in the moment, it was just her and him, no one and nothing else. They were all that mattered—two people, desperately in love and wanting to show each other. No master and slave, no class divides. No Principe della Mafia and his forbidden fruit.

  They never really felt that way, but in the house in Durante, it was hard to ignore the labels. There were reminders everywhere of the people they were supposed to be, the ones they didn’t want to be, but it was different here. They were away from everything that threatened to tear them apart. There were no complications, no need to hide or pretend.

  Carmine didn’t respond. No words were necessary. That bitch of a voice inside of his head had finally been silenced.

  He gazed at her, absorbing all of the love, before leaning down and softly capturing her lips with his. He kissed her tenderly, as he placed his hand on her knee. Slowly, he ran it up her inner thigh. She squirmed under his touch. A whimper escaped her throat as she ran her hands under his shirt, tingles swimming through him as she caressed his bare skin.

  Pulling back, he crouched down beside the bed and pushed up her dress. He watched her face for any sign of distress. “You can change your mind at any time, hummingbird.”

  “I won’t,” she said, a tremble to her voice as she raised her arms. He pulled her dress over her head and tossed it onto the floor beside him. He was in a stupor as he gazed at her, the contrast between her skin and the dark undergarments striking. The strong, feisty girl suddenly seemed so fragile, and he could never live with himself if he was the one to break her.

  She reached over and unbuttoned his top button, but he grabbed her hands. “Relax, okay? This isn’t about me. Let me worship you.”

  Her lips curved at his words. She nodded as he unclasped her bra. Tossing it on the floor, he gazed at her bare chest and grazed his hand across her breasts. A blush started on her cheeks and trickled the whole way down her body. Her eyes closed as he finished undressing her and placed light kisses across her quivering thighs.

  “Lay down,” he said. “Sei bellissima. You’re so beautiful.”

  She lay back on the bed, gripping the comforter. Loud moans bounced off the walls of the cabin as he caressed every inch of her flesh with his tongue. Her body writhed, her legs vibrating as she melted for him. She smelled sweet like nectar he was desperate to consume. A starving man, craving her like nothing before.

  She cried out when her body exploded in pleasure, vibrating like a bass drum until it subsided. The sight of her pushed Carmine over the edge. He shrugged off his shirt, discarding it with Haven’s clothes. He kissed her deeply as she wrapped her arms around him, her breathing erratic. Groaning into her mouth, he unbuckled his pants and let them drop to the floor.

  “We can stop—”

  Her voice was like a ball of fire. “I don’t want to stop.”

  Relieved, his fear slowly became outshined by excitement. Hovering over her, he kissed her jaw and nipped at her neck as he made his way to her ear. “Prometto di essere delicate. I promise to be gentle.”

  His heart thumped hard in his chest as warmth radiated from her. Her hands on his skin were electric as she ran her fingers lightly over the scar on his side. She tilted her head back as he kissed the dip in her throat, his lips moving along her collarbones.

  His nerves suddenly flared as he reached between them to grasp himself. He was about to give her one last chance to back out when she opened her eyes, desire burning from them.

  “I’ll go slow, okay?” he said, keeping his focus on her face as she wrapped her arms around him. “This might hurt some.”

  She clung to him, digging her brittle fingernails into his back. Crying out, her body went rigid. He stilled his movements to give her time to adjust. “Tanto gentile e tanto onesta pare la donna mia,” he whispered, the words from La Vita Nuova just flowing from his lips. “Quand'ella altrui saluta, ch'ogne lingua deven tremando muta, e li occhi no l'ardiscon di guardare.”

  His voice was breathy from anticipation as he tried to soothe her, and her body relaxed more with each word. He started moving again after a moment and sparks flew through his body at the sensation. Two pieces of a puzzle finally connected like they were meant to be.

  “That was beautiful,” she said.

  “The poem or the penetration?” he asked, not thinking before the words rolled from his lips. “Shit, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “I meant the poem, but the other part’s nice so far too,” she said shyly. “And you should’ve said that, because that’s who you are.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m trying to be tender here,” he said. “You deserve to be romanced.”

  She moaned. “I don’t need romance. I need you.”

  Her eyes fluttered closed. Electricity coursed through him from where they were connected, goose bumps popping up as shivers ripped down his spine.

  As he started making love to her, he finally felt what that meant. They were experiencing something together, an intensity he’d never felt before. It was all of her, every inch of her body, inside and out, merging with his.

  “Only you,” she said, as if she could read his mind. “It’ll only ever be you, Carmine.”

  Her words ignited a fire inside of him, stirring up the possessiveness that demanded they belong together. They moved together deliberately, falling into a perfect rhythm. He pressed his body to hers, feeling her bare skin against his.

  Her noises grew louder. He grabbed one of her hands, linking their fingers together as he pressed it into the mattress.

  “I love you,” she said breathlessly.

  A noise escaped his throat involuntarily in response, a rumbling growl as hunger swirled through him. “Ti amo. Christ, I love you so much, Haven.”

  She thrust her hips and gripped his hair with her free hand. Her body quivered, spiraling out of control. “Please don’t ever leave me.”

  The moment the words rolled from her lips, he felt the swell of emotion, stronger than before. There was an ache in his chest, originating in the center of his heart
. It was the pain of all-consuming, overflowing love, so powerful it took his breath away.

  “Do you feel this? We belong together.” He kissed her. “Sempre.”

  He continued to fill her and took her other hand, placing it above her head on the bed. His body weight rested against her as he hitched her knees up further, thrusting deeper. Nuzzling into her neck, he tasted the saltiness of sweat as their bodies slid together smoothly.

  Release hit Carmine, and he cried out as his tension peaked. He stilled himself when the feeling subsided and let go of her hands. He rolled over as she snuggled against him, laying her hand on his chest over his wildly thumping heart. They just lay together, legs entangled, as they relished in the post-coital glow. He wanted to ask her if she could feel his heart beating, but he kept his mouth shut, choosing instead to enjoy the silence.

  Just two kids, together and in love. There was still nothing that needed to be said.

  * * * *

  Haven slept dreamlessly for the first time in a long time, waking to sun-light pouring through the cabin’s window. Sitting up, she cringed at the soreness in her body, most of it centered between her thighs. She looked toward the source of the discomfort, gasping when she saw the streaks of dried blood. “Oh, poppycock.”

  A snort of laughter caught her off guard, Carmine’s gritty voice following it. “Poppycock?”

  She glanced over to see him eyeing her, still half asleep. She wasn’t sure what to say that wouldn’t be embarrassing.

  He sat up, running his hands down his face. “What’s wrong?”

  “Uh, it’s just...”

  He spotted the blood before she could think of the words. “Oh, shit. I probably should’ve mentioned girls sometimes bleed a bit the first time.”

  “They do?” she asked, her cheeks flushing in humiliation.

  “Aw, don’t be embarrassed,” he said, running his hand down her chest. “That blush is beautiful, though.”

  He climbed out of bed. She stared at his naked form, mesmerized by his smooth, sculpted back muscles. He noticed her ogling him and laughed. “How about I draw you a bath?”

  She smiled brightly. “That sounds nice.”

  He disappeared into the bathroom, and Haven heard the water start. He stepped back out a moment later, holding his hand out to her. Haven stepped into the warm water, the heat loosening her sore muscles. Carmine sat on the edge of the tub beside her and grabbed a washcloth, gently cleansing her skin.

  He sighed. “What are you thinking?”

  “Just thinking about how well you take care of me when I’m hurt,” she said. “It’s like after my punishment.”

  His expression hardened. “I don’t like that word. What my father did to you wasn’t punishment, Haven. It was abuse.”

  “Abuse, then,” she said. “No matter what word we use, it reminds me of you fixing me up.”

  “I did a pretty good job, didn’t I?”

  “You did. Maybe you could be a doctor like your father someday. I think you’d be good at it.”

  “Maybe. I don’t know if I have the patience for it, though.”

  * * * *

  Haven watched the cabin grow smaller in the side mirror of the car, their moment coming to an end. The two of them were heading back to Durante—back to reality—where she’d retake her place in the DeMarco home. Her future was as muddy as the creek surrounding the property, when it had seemed so crystal clear the night before.

  They chatted on the drive, the conversation distracting Haven momentarily. Her brow furrowed when they drove past the packed high school. “Why didn’t you go to school today?”

  Carmine shrugged. “Much more important things.”

  “What’s more important than school?”

  “What kinda question is that? You’re more important.”

  “Oh.” She hadn’t expected that answer.

  Carmine pulled up in front of the same diner Haven had gone to with Dia. He helped her out of the car, keeping a hold of her hand as they went inside. They were seated by the same waitress from the day before, but she was much more talkative than Haven recalled. Carmine barely seemed to notice, though, and barked an order for a Coke. Haven asked for the same. The waitress brought their drinks to them, once again trying to delve into conversation. Carmine ignored her chatter and ordered food, despite the fact that she hadn’t yet asked if they were ready.

  The waitress jotted down what they wanted, and Carmine groaned when she walked away. “Fucking disrespectful people.”

  “She disrespected you?” Haven asked.

  “No, she disrespected you.”

  “How?”

  “By flirting with me.”

  “That was flirting? I couldn’t tell. She must not be good at it.”

  He laughed, and something caught Haven’s eye behind him. Nicholas stood by the door, staring at their table. She looked back away so not to draw any attention to him, but she wasn’t quick enough. Carmine glanced behind him, his jaw clenching when he spotted his former friend.

  Nicholas started toward them with a police officer in uniform, and Haven’s heart pounded erratically as they paused beside their table. The officer nodded in greeting. “Carmine.”

  “Hello, sir,” Carmine said politely, but Haven could sense the force of his words.

  “How are you doing since you’ve been back in Durante?”

  “Fine, sir.”

  The man smiled smugly. Haven realized the distaste was mutual. “You can’t be doing too well since you’re truant from school today.”

  “I wasn’t feeling up to it this morning.”

  “Well, stay out of trouble. It’s been a lot less stressful these days without dealing with you.”

  Carmine was grinding his teeth. Without even thinking, Haven reached across the table and grabbed his hand. He cut his eyes at her, surprised, but his posture relaxed. “I have a reason to be good now.”

  Haven smiled at his words as the officer shifted his attention to her. “Well, that’s wonderful. And you are…?”

  She started to answer, but Nicholas beat her to it. “Her name’s Haven.”

  Carmine tensed again at the sound of his voice.

  “Ah, right, their houseguest. How are you acquainted with the DeMarco family?”

  She had no idea what to say, but thankfully Carmine interjected. “From Chicago. Our fathers are friends.”

  The officer nodded. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Haven.”

  “You, too, sir,” she said quietly as he walked away. Nicholas lingered, though, and glared at their joined hands.

  “Is there something you want?” Carmine asked sharply.

  Nicholas narrowed his eyes but said nothing as he stalked away.

  The waitress returned with their food, and they ate in silence. Haven couldn’t explain it, but there was a shift in the air around them, a connection that hadn’t existed before last night.

  But no matter how strong those feelings were, they couldn’t subdue another sensation wafting across her skin. It was one she was used to, something she’d felt her entire life.

  It was the feeling of being watched.

  Chapter 30

  The weeks that followed their stay in the cabin flew by rapidly, half a year having elapsed since Haven had been forced to leave her mama behind. She was starting to adapt to the world outside of the desert, little things that once intimidated her now a regular part of her life. She still kept up with her work, cooking and cleaning every day, but there was always time left over for herself. She’d never had time to do things leisurely, and the more she indulged, the more she couldn’t imagine ever going back.

  Free time, Carmine called it. His choice of words made her laugh.

  Drawing and painting, reading and crafts—her days were a flurry of unrestrained creativity. She’d taken some notebooks from Carmine and started filling pages with words, scribbling down everything that was on her mind. It was disjointed, riddled with errors, but it wasn’t meant for others eyes.
It was good practice, though, and she found it cathartic, the pressure inside of her releasing as she got it out on paper.

  The nightmares came less often after that, like she’d chased away the monsters with the power of her words. It made her finally feel in control, despite the fact that she was anything but.

  She started to grow more comfortable being outside of the house too. Carmine took her wherever he went, giving her cash so she could count it out and pay. She ordered her own food, picked out her own things, and spoke for herself whenever the opportunity arose.

  Life hadn’t only changed for Haven—it shifted for all of them. Dr. DeMarco was gone a lot more, spending nearly every weekend in Chicago. Dominic was busy preparing for college, since he was graduating in a few short months and heading across the country with Tess for college. Even Dia was graduating, but she was staying close by in Charlotte.

  Haven was in the kitchen early one Saturday morning, the day before Easter Sunday, cleaning up from breakfast as Carmine leaned against the counter. As usual, he was watching her. “So, what do you wanna do today?”

  She shrugged. “Whatever you want to do, Carmine.”

  “If I knew what I wanted to do, do you think I’d bother asking?”

  “Yes,” she said, laughing. “You always ask my opinion.”

  “Well, do you have an opinion this time?”

  “We can just hang out here.”

  “We spend too much time in this shithole.” He paused. “So, what do you wanna do today?”

  She shook her head. “Whatever you want to do.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the downstairs office. He punched in the code to unlock the door and stepped inside, but she dug her heels in, refusing to follow. “Aren’t you coming?”

  “I’m not supposed to go in there.”

  “Why?”

  “Your father said some doors stay locked for a reason.”