Sempre (Forever)

by JM Darhower

  Haven went to speak, wanting to explain that it wasn’t like that with the DeMarco’s, but her mama gasped before she could. “Oh no, baby! No, no, no! How can they do this to you?”

  Haven stared at her, perplexed as to what she was ranting about, until her mama placed her trembling hand against the side of her neck. It struck her that she’d seen the mark Carmine left, and she grabbed her hand. “No, Mama, they don’t hurt me!”

  “Don’t lie to me, Haven! I know what that is!”

  “I know, but it’s not like that. Carmine accidentally did it. He didn’t mean to leave the mark.”

  “Who’s Carmine?”

  “He’s Dr. DeMarco’s son.”

  “Your master’s son does that to you? Oh, Haven!”

  “But it’s not like that! I love him, Mama.”

  She stared at her, blinking rapidly. “You love him? This is bad, baby girl. This is dangerous! You can never let them know!”

  “Stop,” she said, her mama’s panic causing her anxiety to flare. “He already knows. He loves me, too.”

  “He loves you?”

  “Yes, he does. He’s the one who brought me here.” Haven looked over at the car, wondering where he’d gone. “He was just here a minute ago.”

  “How?” Her mama shook her head. ”Haven, he’s—”

  “Wonderful,” she interrupted, knowing whatever her mama said would be wrong. “He’s treats me like a treasure, and he’s giving me a life.”

  Her mama gaped at her. “A life?”

  “Yes.” She smiled. “The kind of life you always wanted me to have, Mama. Carmine’s giving it to me.”

  They sat on the ground for a few minutes longer, neither speaking after that was verbalized. Her mama’s panic lessened, the look Haven had seen growing up slinking back in.

  Hope.

  Eventually, Haven stood up and helped her mama to her feet. “These are nice clothes,” her mama said, giving her the once-over. “I hope they don’t get mad you got them dirty. You can blame me.”

  Haven sighed and blocked her mama’s hands as she tried to brush the dirt away. “It doesn’t matter. They’re different.”

  Tears welled in her mama’s eyes at the statement, but the banging of the screen door stopped her from saying anything. Michael stepped onto the porch, and Haven’s stomach grew queasy at the sight of him. Michael stepped forward. “Miranda.”

  No good ever came from being singled out. Frenzied, Her mama gathered the things she’d dropped. “I’m sorry, sir. I’m supposed to be in the garden. I’m going now.”

  Michael put his hand up to stop her. They both flinched at his sudden movement. “Don’t interrupt me. The girl’s here with guests, so work can wait for now.”

  Haven stared at him. That wasn’t like Michael at all, but it made sense when Corrado stepped out behind him. Michael nodded at him, grumbling under his breath as he headed back inside.

  Corrado gave Haven a quick glance. “Carmine wants me to tell you he’s inside if you need him. I assured him you’d be fine, but you know how he can be.”

  “Yes, sir,” she said, smiling. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He glanced at her mama and nodded before going back inside.

  “I can’t believe you talked to him,” her mama said. “He never speaks.”

  “I know, but he’s Carmine’s uncle.”

  “You see these people where you are?”

  “Not often,” she said. “His wife visited twice, once on Christmas and again when Dom graduated. Corrado came along that time. That’s when he vouched for me, because they wouldn’t let Dr. DeMarco.”

  Her mama just stared at her. “What?”

  Haven realized she had no idea what she was talking about. “I guess I should start at the beginning, huh?”

  * * * *

  They spent the next few hours walking around the property as Haven told her mama about life in North Carolina. Most of the conversation centered on Carmine as she explained all the experiences he’d given her, from the first piece of chocolate to bringing her there.

  Her mama listened, transfixed as Haven told her about celebrating Christmas, watching fireworks, and going to a school dance. She described learning how to drive and walking into a classroom to test for a GED.

  The more Haven spoke, the more her mama seemed to light up. The life came back into her, little by little easing Haven’s guilt.

  They were standing at the edge of the garden as her mama kicked around some dirt in her bare feet, pulling a few stray weeds. She couldn’t refrain from doing work even when told she didn’t have to. “DeMarco. That name sounds familiar.”

  “His parents have been here before,” Haven said. “I used to think his mama was an angel.”

  Her mama looked at her. “Your angel?”

  Haven nodded. “I thought I made her up, but I guess she was real.”

  Her mama’s eyes drifted past her shoulder at something, and Haven swung around to see Carmine approaching. “Speak of the devil.”

  “I thought we said that asshole in the house was the devil.”

  “True.”

  “Christ, he's a dickhead,” Carmine said, shaking his head. “I mean, I never doubted it, but give me one minute alone with him and that bitch of a wife of his and I’d make this world a better place. I thought Corrado was going to kick my ass for saying shit to him.”

  She sighed, knowing he had no filter to stop things from springing from his lips. “What did you say?”

  “I don’t know. I said a lot. He's kind of a punk, you know? He’ll fuck with those lesser than him but can’t stand up to his equals.” He paused as his eyes widened. “I’m not saying you guys are less than him or anything, or that I’m better than you, because I’m not. You’re way better than him. Hell, you’re better than me, and I tell—”

  Haven covered his mouth so he’d stop rambling, and her mama gasped. Turning to look at her, Haven pulled her hand from Carmine’s mouth as a reflex. He wrapped his arms around her before she could move away. “You should introduce me to your mom, tesoro.”

  She smiled. “Mama, this is Carmine. Carmine, this is my mama.”

  “Nice to finally meet you,” he said politely, holding out his hand.

  Her mama hesitantly took it, staring at him. “Maura.”

  “That was my mom's name,” Carmine said.

  “I know. I remember her.”

  Carmine started to speak but was cut off by Corrado’s voice. “The food’s ready. I thought you’d like to know, since Carmine was complaining earlier he was going to die of starvation.”

  Haven rolled her eyes as Carmine chuckled. “What? I haven’t eaten anything today.”

  “Go eat if you’re hungry,” she said.

  “Aren’t you coming? You haven’t eaten all day, either. We woke up and came straight here.”

  Haven shook her head stubbornly. “I’m not eating when she can’t.”

  Her mama sighed. “Eat if they’ll let you, Haven. I'll be here when you’re done, sweetheart.”

  “No.”

  Carmine’s brow furrowed. “Why can’t she eat?”

  “We don’t eat during the day,” her mama said. “Master feeds us at night, but never during the day and definitely not with them.”

  “I forgot all about that,” Carmine said. “You used to refuse to eat with us. That’s bullshit. You should eat when you wanna eat.”

  “It’s fine. I’m used to it.”

  Carmine let go of Haven and started for the house. “No, it’s not fine. Wait here. I’ll fix this shit.”

  A few minutes later, the screen door slammed as Carmine stepped back outside, heading toward them with two plates.

  “You’re so good to me,” Haven said when he approached.

  “Hey, that’s my line,” he said playfully, handing Haven one of the plates. “Quit stealing my shit.”

  He held the other one out to her mama. She made no attempt to take it so Haven did. She eyed the sandwiche
s, the bread smashed down with an obvious large handprint in the center of it. “Did you make this yourself?”

  “Yes,” he said. “I can make a sandwich, you know. I didn’t want the woman in the kitchen to have to do it. Cla—, uh, Miss Cleo or something. I don’t know.”

  Haven laughed. “Miss Clara.”

  “Yeah, her,” Carmine said. “She was nice, even showed me where the bread was when I couldn’t find it.”

  Smiling proudly, Haven thrust the plate at her mama. “Eat.”

  Her mama took it, her hands shaking. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” Carmine said. “You two sit down somewhere and eat.” Haven went to sit right where she was, but Carmine grabbed her arm to stop her. “You can’t sit somewhere less dirty?”

  Ignoring him, she plopped down. “I’m already dirty.”

  Carmine shook his head as a small dust cloud rose into the air. “Now you got me dirty.”

  “Do you plan to do your own laundry?” He shook his head. “Then I don’t see why you’re complaining.”

  He squatted down beside her, laughing. “Because it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t complain.”

  “Very true,” Haven said.

  “Enjoy your sandwiches. It’s the best I could do. You know I can’t cook, but I do love you.”

  He kissed her before starting toward the house. Her mama finally sat down beside Haven. The frailty and exhaustion was still evident in her face, but she appeared almost at peace in the moment.

  The sight of it put Haven at ease.

  * * * *

  Carmine stood at the window, watching Haven and her mom out in the yard. Time was winding down, the sun dipping below the horizon as the sky turned the color of glowing coal. Soon it would disappear, the day coming to a close. Carmine knew when that happened it would be time to go.

  He could feel Michael’s eyes boring into him from where he sat across the room, puffing on his third cigar while he downed what had to be his tenth glass of whiskey. The stench of smoke and liquor made Carmine’s stomach turn, the dramatic sighs and bitter laughs coming from the man intolerable. He wheezed when he breathed, like he was constantly struggling to speak, but not a word had come from him in over two hours. Fucking coward.

  Corrado strolled over to stand beside Carmine, both of them taking in the scene outside. Carmine realized, watching Haven, that she would never be free as long as her mom lived as she did. A part of her would remain here, trapped on the godforsaken ranch.

  “You have to help her,” Carmine said, unable to take it. The thought of separating them was tearing him up inside.

  Corrado continued to stare straight ahead. “Do you remember when your grandfather died?”

  “Vaguely,” he said. “I was only six or so.”

  “I was sitting outside of your grandparent's house after the funeral, and your mother sat down beside me. Your mother… she never liked to come near me, so for her to do so was a big deal.” He paused. “When she finally gathered the courage to speak to me, she said those exact words: you have to help her.”

  Carmine gaped at him. “Haven?”

  Corrado nodded. “I told your mother it wasn’t my place to intervene. To this day I wonder how different things might’ve turned out had I helped. She put herself out there, and I shut her down. After everything, I should’ve at least tried. I owed her that much.”

  “You owed her?”

  “Yes, I did, but why is irrelevant, so don’t bother asking. The only thing that matters is that I never made it up to her.”

  “Does that mean you’re gonna help?”

  He cut his eyes at him. “I vouched for her, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, you did, but…” Carmine trailed off, glancing back out at Haven in the yard. “What about her mom?”

  “What about her?”

  “Can’t you help her?”

  “I can’t help everyone, Carmine. There will always be someone, somewhere, who needs something.”

  “I know, but this isn’t just someone,” Carmine said. “This is Haven’s mom. This is her family, just like we’re family.”

  Corrado’s stare was hard. “You’re playing the family card?”

  “I, uh…” Carmine hesitated, but he knew there was no point denying it. That was exactly what he was doing. “Yes.”

  “Are you certain you want to do that?”

  Corrado’s tone made Carmine question it momentarily. Did he? “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  Turning back to the window, Corrado shook his head. “The most I can do is let her live in my home. It’s a risk, but frankly, after vouching for your girlfriend, I doubt it’s possible to dig myself in any deeper. If I die, it’ll be that decision that kills me. Everything else is just extra.”

  Corrado turned to Michael, who still sat quietly in his chair. “Any objections, Antonelli?”

  Michael started stammering. He hadn’t heard a word of what they’d said. “Uh, I… well, I don’t know.”

  Corrado raised an eyebrow, the look on his face enough to make Carmine balk. “You don’t know? What do you mean you don’t know?”

  “I just mean…” He shook his head. “Sure, it’s fine with me.”

  “Great,” Corrado said, turning back around. “It’s settled, then. We’ll handle it all tomorrow.”

  * * * *

  When darkness started to shroud the property, Carmine finally made his way back outside. As soon as Haven spotted him, a cold sense of dread settled deep within her. He paused a few feet away, frowning. “I’ll give you a few minutes.”

  A lump formed in her throat that strangled her words as they came out. “Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me,” Carmine said, turning to her mama. “It’s been a pleasure. I’ll see you again, I’m sure.”

  He walked away, and they stood up. Her mama pulled her into a hug, tears streaming from her eyes, but a radiant smile shined from her lips. “Don’t be sad. You don’t know how much it means to me to see you like this. My baby girl, with the entire world at her fingertips. It’s the thing I’ve wished for every night since you were born, and just knowing you found it has made everything I went through worth it.”

  Haven squeezed her tightly. “I love you, Mama.”

  “I love you too, Haven. I always have. I want you to go out there and live your life, be the person I raised you to be.”

  Her chest ached at having to leave her again. “I miss you.”

  “I miss you too, but the world is a better place with you in it,” her mama said, pulling back from the hug. She pressed a kiss against her forehead and smiled through her tears. “Now go away from this place. I’m so happy to see you again, but I’ll be even happier knowing you’re out there living. Knowing you found someone. I always believed you would.”

  “But I can’t leave you here, Mama. Not again.”

  “Hush, baby girl,” she said sternly. “Don’t worry about me.

  Haven tried to speak, wanting to object, but her mama didn’t give her a chance.

  “Go,” she said again. “You belong out there. You found your place in the world. Don’t let me hold you back from it.”

  Haven covered her mouth as tears blurred her vision. Taking a few steps back, she gave her mama one last look before turning away and running for the car. She bawled uncontrollably as Carmine drove away from the ranch.

  The trip back to the motel was silent. When they arrived, Haven climbed into the bed and curled up in a ball. Carmine didn’t even bother changing clothes before sliding in beside her.

  “Look, I’m not supposed to say anything,” he started, eyeing her warily, “but I can’t lay here while you cry all night. Tomorrow morning we’re meeting Michael and Corrado at a lawyer’s office to have some paperwork drawn up, and then Corrado and I are going back to the ranch—”

  “I want to go.”

  He sighed. “Let me finish, okay? We’re going so Corrado can take your mom back to Chicago with him. I mean, it’s not the same as wha
t he’s doing for you, but she’ll be okay there.”

  The tears started flowing again. “They’re going to let my mama live with them?”

  “Yes, and you’ll be able to visit her. I know what you said about going to California or New York for college, but I’m figuring you’ll wanna move near them instead. I won’t take you to Chicago, but we can move close like Dom and Tess.”

  She tried to fight the excitement that threatened to boil up. “I can have her in my life?”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “Of course I do!”

  She nestled into his chest, tears of grief being overtaken by elation. Her mama would be saved, after all. She hadn’t failed.

  * * * *

  By the time they pulled up in front of the brick office building in the city the next morning, Haven’s anxiety was making her stomach churn. Carmine shut the car off and sighed as he turned to her. “The easiest way to make this happen is to say you were orphaned in Italy. My father got some documents from the government through their connections in Sicily that claim you were born there.”

  Haven stared at him as that sunk in. They were giving her an identity, but wiping out the only one she’d ever had.

  “Your mom’s still your mom in every way that counts,” he said. “We just gotta do what we gotta do sometimes to make shit work.”

  She nodded hesitantly. “I understand.”

  And she did understand, even though she didn’t like it.

  Carmine helped her out of the car and took her hand, leading her into the busy building. The hallway was long and narrow. They headed straight to a cramped office. Michael sat in a chair in front of a shiny mahogany desk with a middle-aged man in a suit impatiently waiting, while Corrado stood off to the side with his arms crossed over his chest. They glanced at them as they entered, and Carmine squeezed Haven’s hand.

  “Now that we’re all here, we can get this started,” the lawyer said, shifting through some papers. Carmine nodded his head toward the chair beside Michael, and Haven sat down, not wanting to make a scene. Michael shifted his body away from hers, an awkward, uncomfortable silence enveloping the space between them.