There's Something About Sweetie

by Sandhya Menon

  Whatever happened, Ashish decided, however much her parents yelled, he would hold his tongue and his temper. He’d be respectful to his elders, something his parents had always drilled into him, but that had never really sunk in before now. He wouldn’t give Sweetie’s parents any more ammunition than they already had. Because he refused to believe that them saying no would be the end of it. Surely they’d come around, right? Or in a week or two Sweetie would realize she couldn’t live without him any more than he could live without her? This couldn’t be the end. Not when there was so much between them. Not when it seemed like his entire life had been a series of moments leading him to her.

  Sweetie’s parents looked extremely tense: Vidya auntie sat on a chair with her arms crossed, and Soman uncle leaned against the desk, his hands gripping the edge. Anjali and Jason sat on a futon across from them. Ashish and Sweetie remained standing, close together, by the door.

  “What is going on, Sweetie?” Soman uncle asked, looking at her sadly. There was no anger in his gaze, unlike Vidya auntie’s.

  Sweetie took a deep breath. Ashish could feel the heat wafting off of her, could practically hear her thundering heart. He wanted to reach out and hold her but held still instead. “Achcha, Amma … Ashish and I have been dating. For a little over a month.”

  Vidya auntie got even stiller, if that were possible. Soman uncle looked like he might actually cry.

  “After I told you no?” Vidya auntie said finally, shattering the silence that weighed about a thousand pounds. “You went behind my back?”

  Sweetie flinched a little at her mother’s tone, and Ashish had to clench his fists to keep from reaching for her. “I did,” Sweetie said softly. “Because … because I felt you were wrong.”

  Oh God. The look on Vidya auntie’s face. He could already tell this was not going remotely according to plan. Ashish surreptitiously slipped his phone out of his pocket.

  HELP, he typed, and quickly pressed send. If he knew his parents, the fact that he’d told them not to come probably didn’t mean much. They had no respect for his boundaries. But more than that, they were his family, which meant they were always doggedly there for him.

  He really, really hoped they hadn’t suddenly decided to change.

  Sweetie knew what she’d said was really pushing things too far. She’d never told Amma outright before that she was wrong. It was a hugely disrespectful thing to do, but she figured she’d gone this far. She was already confessing to dating Ashish behind their backs for more than an entire month. Why not jump in with both feet? Why not fully be that girl who dared to stand up on that stage and sing her heart out in front of total strangers? Why not be the girl who dared to text Ashish Patel, the Richmond jock, and then dared to challenge him to a race? Why not be Sassy Sweetie completely? If track had taught her anything, it was that you didn’t take home the gold unless you completely committed.

  There was another beat of silence, and then Achchan spoke. “But … why didn’t you tell me, mol?”

  Sweetie’s heart broke at the tone of Achchan’s voice. He didn’t sound thunderously mad like Amma; he just sounded beaten, so completely hurt. She knew what he was trying to ask: How had she allowed this giant secret to grow between them? Achchan and she, twin souls, had never been so far apart as they were at this moment. And it was all because of her. Because of the choices she’d made. “I …” She swallowed, trying to blink back tears. “I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings, Achcha,” she said finally. “I just didn’t know what else to do. I—”

  “I, I, I!” Amma said. “Selfish. This is what you are, Sweetie. So selfish. The decisions you’ve made have been only to benefit you! You didn’t think of your family once! You just wanted to go gallivanting around with this boy”—she thrust her chin at Ashish—“and you didn’t care about anything else.”

  “Wait a second, Ammayi,” Anjali Chechi said, shaking her head. “That’s not fair. Sweetie has the option to be selfish. She’s not quite seventeen years old. If she can’t think about what she wants in this life now, when can she?”

  Amma waved her hand. “That kind of American mind-set has no place in this home.”

  Sweetie felt her heart break even more. “So you’re saying someone like me has no place in this home,” she said quietly. “Whether you mean to or not, Amma, that’s exactly what you’re saying. I’m Indian, yes. I respect my culture, yes. I love my parents, yes. But I love myself, too. I respect myself, too.” How was it possible that she and her mother fell on opposite sides of this one, more-important-than-anything issue?

  Achchan stepped forward. “We would never say that you have no place in our home or even think it. You’re our only child.” He turned to Amma and raised his eyebrows.

  “There’s no need for all this drama,” Amma said. “Sweetie, I have told you. You are my daughter. But you have lied to us for a month. There is nothing more to say. I don’t know what ideas this boy filled your head with and what all he made you do—”

  Ashish cleared his throat and Sweetie looked at him, wide eyed. Please don’t say anything, she tried to transmit psychically. You’ll only set this train wreck on fire. But if he got the message, he didn’t listen. “Auntie, if I may,” he said in a voice that was both firm and respectful. Sweetie would have to take notes on how he did that. When she tried to be firm and respectful, it just came out all squeaky. “Sweetie and I have done nothing that we are ashamed of. To be honest, my parents knew about us dating. They were on board, and although they weren’t enthused about the fact that you both didn’t know, they made sure nothing untoward happened. In fact, they made us sign a contract. We went on three dates that were fully parent sanctioned. Of course, we did meet up on one or two other occasions, but again, nothing happened that would make me hesitate to look you both in the eye.” He squeezed Sweetie’s hand briefly before letting it drop again. “Sweetie is a remarkable person. She’s taught me so much about myself. She’s taught me what it means to be kind and gentle while also pursuing what you know is right in your heart. I have never met anyone like her.”

  By the time he stopped speaking, everyone was staring at him, openmouthed. Sweetie wondered if he knew the kind of effect he had on people. Not just on girls, but on people in general. Ashish was the kind of guy who made you pause and listen when he spoke. His words, confident and strong, were clad in iron.

  Achchan grunted. “Well, I—”

  There was a knock on the door.

  Looking just as confused as the rest of them, Jason Chettan opened the door. Ashish’s parents traipsed in, dressed like royalty. Sunita auntie’s face immediately creased into a smile as she gathered Sweetie into a hug and then stroked Ashish’s hair, before turning to Achchan and Amma. She pressed her palms together.

  “Hello again, Vidya,” she said earnestly. “Please allow me to apologize for stopping by uninvited. Sweetie did tell us this was a family event, but I really wanted to speak with you in person about everything that’s happened, and I knew Ashish was here. …” She paused. “Oh, my manners have deserted me today. This is my husband, Kartik.”

  Kartik uncle shook hands with Achchan, who looked like he might faint. “You’re … Kartik Patel,” he said, as if he’d just made the connection. “Of Global Comm.”

  Kartik uncle smiled. “Yes indeed. And Ashish tells me you yourself are in engineering? I had wanted one of my sons to go into the profession, but alas, neither of them shows any aptitude at all!”

  Achchan beamed. Amma looked by turns discombobulated and furious, as if she had no idea whether to welcome the Patels like a good host or to kick them out.

  Sunita auntie stepped closer to her and put a hand on her arm. “Vidya, I take it that Ashish and Sweetie have told you about them dating.” Looking straight into Amma’s eyes, she continued seriously. “I am so sorry that we encouraged the children to date behind your backs. Our intention was never to disrespect you or undermine your authority. You see, Kartik and I thought long and hard about it, and in
the end we felt that when teenagers are determined, they’ll find a way to do what they want to do.” She studied Amma’s expression, which was still stony, and continued valiantly on. “I didn’t think, from talking to you, that you disapproved of Ashish or our family. Simply of … Sweetie’s physical appearance as compared to our son’s. That’s why we agreed to this at all. But through everything, we wanted to make sure they didn’t do anything we wouldn’t be able to tell you about. They went to the mandir on their first date.” She smiled. “And then to the Holi Festival, and then to visit Ashish’s Gita Kaki in Palo Alto.”

  Amma looked from one face to the next. Sweetie’s heart thudded as she waited for her mother to speak, to say something, anything. Finally Amma spoke, her voice trembling. “But Sweetie and Ashish are not compatible. How can they be when Sweetie is …?” Turning to Ashish, she said more firmly, “Sweetie has a lot of self-respect. She won’t just do whatever you want because she’s … she is not …”

  Ashish shook his head. “I think Sweetie is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, auntie. I promise you, when I look at her, I can’t believe that I got so lucky. I would never disrespect her. Never.”

  Amma looked around at them all. Sweetie held her breath; this felt like a turning point. Amma had to see Sweetie’s side now. She had to.

  Shaking her head, Amma said, “You are trying to manipulate me, Sweetie. You think by inviting Sunita and Kartik Patel here, I’ll change my mind?” Her eyes flashed. “This is over! I forbid it!” Then she turned and stalked out of the study.

  Everyone froze as the door slammed behind her. Ashish reached out to squeeze Sweetie’s hand. Her lower lip trembled and she bit it, her eyes filling.

  People began to speak all at once.

  Ashish: “It’s okay, my love—”

  Sunita auntie: “Oh, Sweetie, she’ll change—”

  Kartik uncle: “Do you have any Pepto Bis—”

  Anjali Chechi: “Ridiculous—”

  Jason Chettan: “Give her some time—”

  Achchan: “Let me just go and see what she’s—”

  “No,” Sweetie said suddenly, loudly, her voice sluicing through the air. They all stopped to look at her. “I’ll go,” she said, meeting each of their gazes one by one. “Let me go speak to her.”

  “Are you sure?” Ashish said. “Do you want me to come with you?”

  Sweetie smiled a little. “No. I need to do this by myself.”

  There was utter silence in that tiny room packed to the gills with Patels and Nairs as Sweetie swept out after her mother.

  Amma was in Sweetie’s room, as Sweetie knew she’d be. She was looking at all the track trophies Sweetie had won over the years. Sweetie watched her from the doorway for a silent moment before walking in and closing the door behind her.

  “Amma,” she said, twisting her hands together in front of her and then forcing herself to stop. She had nothing to be nervous about. She was right; she knew she was. This was her moment to be honest, to be brave, like she’d always wanted to be. To let her words match her thoughts, to finally stand up for herself. To be Sassy Sweetie. “What was that about? Why are you so upset?”

  Amma stroked one of the trophies on Sweetie’s shelf and smiled. “I remember when you first told me you wanted to join the track team. You were in fourth grade. I took you to try out for the Atherton Kids Athletic Team, do you remember?”

  Sweetie shook her head. “I never ran for them.”

  Amma’s smile faded. “No, you didn’t. When we got there, the coach took me aside. He told me you were too … ‘unhealthy’ to run. He said it was a medical matter. If something happened to you, the organization would be liable.”

  Sweetie felt her cheeks flush. “He was an idiot, then.”

  “I took you back home,” Amma continued, as if Sweetie hadn’t spoken. “I told you the team was full. When you got to middle school and decided to try out without telling me, I couldn’t stop you. I thought maybe you should do golf or shot put. But you had your heart set on running. And when you got on the team, you were so proud. Then two months later I got the call from your coach.”

  Sweetie remembered the call. She’d begged Coach not to call Amma, but she hadn’t listened. There were two girls on the team who bullied Sweetie incessantly. Coach had gotten involved as much as she could, but the girls were mean only when she wasn’t looking, and Sweetie refused to tell on them. Finally, when Coach had found her crying yet again in the locker room, she’d said she had no choice but to get Amma involved. “You tried to take me off the team,” Sweetie said.

  “To protect you.” Amma turned to face her. “To keep you safe.”

  “I didn’t need you to do that,” Sweetie said. “I joined again anyway. I forged that letter from you, remember? Coach let me back on. I became the strongest, fastest runner, and then the girls didn’t bother me so much anymore.”

  “You had a happy ending that time,” Amma said. “A lucky happy ending. It won’t always be like that, Sweetie. Life is not lucky or happy for girls and women who are different.”

  Sweetie studied Amma thoughtfully. “How do you think life would be different for me if I were thin right now, Amma?”

  “You’d have more opportunities,” Amma said.

  “You would want me to be appreciated for my talents, right? For people to see past my outer appearance to who I am inside?”

  Amma nodded.

  “You’d want me to be asked to prom, to go to a good college, to find love and friendships?”

  Amma nodded again.

  Sweetie shook her head. “Don’t you see, Amma? I already have all that. I was up on a stage, singing my heart out, and people got to their feet to applaud because they wanted more. I have friends who’d stand by me through anything. I’m going to get into a great school because I have some of the highest grades in my class and I kick butt as an athlete. I have a boy who loves me with all his heart, who came here with his parents to win yours. And guess what? I don’t need Sheena’s charity because Ashish asked me to the prom. See, Amma? I already have everything you want for me. I have it all, and I have it as a fat girl. I’m not afraid to live my life as I am right now. I don’t need to change. I’m not afraid, so why are you?”

  Amma and she stared at each other for a long time. Finally Amma spoke, her voice hoarse. “Ashish is in love with you?”

  “He is. And I’m in love with him.”

  “And he asked you to the prom?”

  “Yes.”

  “You got a standing ovation … at Band Night?”

  Sweetie nodded.

  Amma sank onto Sweetie’s bed, her hands limp in her lap. “You didn’t tell me that. Sweetie …”

  “Yes, Amma?” Sweetie sat too, across from her mother.

  When Amma looked at her, tears sparkled in her eyes and she smiled, blinking them away. “Sweetie … you are already doing it,” she said wonderingly, shaking her head. “You already have everything I want you to have.” She swallowed, and added in a tiny voice, “And I missed everything. Because of my stubbornness, I missed everything.”

  “You missed some pretty big things,” Sweetie agreed, scooting closer. “But, Amma, you don’t have to miss anything else, not if you don’t want to. And you’re right, you know. I do already have everything you want me to have. So you don’t have to worry about me anymore, Amma. It’s not doing anyone any good. You have to stop worrying.”

  Nodding, Amma closed her eyes as a tear slipped down her cheek. “I have to stop worrying,” she said softly. Then, opening her eyes, she pulled Sweetie toward her and tucked her face against her neck. She kissed the top of Sweetie’s head and said, “I have to stop worrying because you’re okay. You’re going to be fine.”

  “I’m going to be more than fine,” Sassy Sweetie said. “Amma, I’m going to live my best life.”

  They walked downstairs together, and Amma walked right to the Patels (who were now in the dining room with Achchan, Anjali Chechi, and Jason Chettan, lo
oking rather glum) and said, “Sunita, Kartik, Ashish, I apologize. I behaved badly, and you have been gracious. Will you please forgive me?”

  Sunita auntie gave Amma her warmest smile. “As long as you forgive us, too.”

  Amma turned to Ashish. “You. You have been very good to my daughter.”

  “I’ve tried,” Ashish said, looking at Sweetie in complete shock. She shrugged back and grinned. “But it’s nothing more than she deserves.”

  Amma smiled. “Correct answer. Good.”

  “And, Auntie, Uncle,” Ashish said, looking at Amma and Achchan in turn. “I want to apologize, too. For dating Sweetie behind your backs. It won’t happen again.”

  Achchan grinned and clasped Ashish on the back.

  Amma let out a deep breath and grabbed one of Ashish’s hands and one of Sweetie’s. “Now everything is settled. Why don’t we all have some lunch? We have Sweetie’s favorite dessert—pal payasam. And after that, my daughter needs to get ready for prom!”

  Sunita auntie laughed. “That sounds like the perfect way to celebrate.”

  “Wait.” Achchan stood. “I have something to say.” He walked forward, took Sweetie by the shoulders, and led her a few feet away, to a quiet corner. Then, taking a deep breath, he shook his head. “Sweetie … you are a piece of my heart. I never knew how much pain you were in. I should’ve said something. I should’ve told you that I … I disagreed with your mother a lot. I think you are perfect as you are. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. I’m sorry, mol, for not being stronger for you.”

  Sweetie hugged her father, her throat painfully tight. “It’s okay, Achcha,” she said hoarsely. “It’s okay.”