Lost in the Mist of Time

by Karen Michelle Nutt

  Aislinn’s gaze followed to where she pointed at the murky darkness of blues, greens and browns. “Water of course.”

  “Nay, ye need to look past all that. Seek what is already there.”

  Aislinn looked again, and this time, she saw the water shift, until it was like she was viewing a screen of moving pictures. She knew that this was impossible, but yet she could not deny what her eyes saw. A small child running to another one in the distance, then a toddler teetering back and forth on his feet to keep up. Then she saw herself with a man. She shifted in her weight, but did not look away. The man turned around and she saw that it was Dougray. “What is this? What am I seeing?”

  “What could be, Aislinn. The water does not lie.”

  As much as she wanted what she saw to come true, she couldn’t allow it to happen. She didn’t belong here. She had to somehow find her way back home. “I can’t…” she shook her head and tore her gaze from the still pool. She nearly ran back to the fire pit. She stood there for a long time, hugging her arms close to her body, trying to stop the trembling within her. She heard Neala walk up behind her and she turned to look at her with questions on her lips, only to have them silenced when the old woman held out her gnarled hand.

  “Here it is.” Neala revealed a single vial, resting in her palm. “Ye drink a little of this and ye will stop milord’s seed from taking hold.”

  Aislinn hesitated and chewed on her lower lip, trying to decide if this was what she really wanted to do.

  “Are ye unsure now?”

  Aislinn shook her head no. “I have to do this.” She took the vial from her hand feeling almost sick inside for doing so.

  “Think long and hard, Aislinn, before ye let that liquid pass yer lips. I pray ye will see that this is not the way.”

  Aislinn had almost reached the keep, when she caught sight of a woman chasing a toddler who seemed to be doing a good job of evading capture. Aislinn decided to help and headed the little girl off catching her with one full sweep. The mother caught up and was quite happy that she didn’t have to continue the chase. “Thank ye, milady.” The woman smiled. Aislinn remembered that she had bought a few blankets from her last week. Linna was her name.

  Aislinn looked at the small child, who timidly smiled up at her with her light brown eyes. A tender longing seemed to flow through her, as she held the little chubby hand.

  “Ye wish for a wee one of yer own?” Linna asked.

  Aislinn was startled by the question making her look back at Linna. “May I ask you something?”

  “Anything, milady.” She bowed slightly.

  “How did you know that you wanted to be a mother? How did you know that you would be able to guide her?”

  “I don’t know. I just always wanted to have children at me feet. I thought that it would never happen. Each child born to me perished before they drew their first breath. Six children I buried before the good Lord granted us me little darling.” She gently touched her daughter’s cheek and the little girl reached for her. Aislinn reluctantly gave up the warmth of having the child in her arms. “Sometimes I just watch her sleep, amazed that she is actually here. Children are a blessing, milady. They’re a part of what we are and of our dreams we wish for them.” Linna suddenly became embarrassed. “I’m sorry, milady. I have the tendency to run away with me mouth.”

  “No not at all.” She touched the older woman’s arm. “I thank you for your candor.”

  After she had moved on, Aislinn pulled out the vial that Neala had given her. She clasped it tight within her fist before shoving it back in her pocket.

  “There ye are.”

  Aislinn jumped at the sound of his voice, but she managed to turn and face him with a smile.

  If Dougray suspected anything, his face did not show it. He came forward, not caring if anyone was watching and gave her an endearing kiss upon her cheek. “I missed ye this morning.” He prayed that she would not hear the uncertainty in his voice.

  Aislinn placed her hand on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I was heading back to break fast with you.” She lowered her gaze, but he lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. There was such longing and hope in those silvery, smoked-filled eyes making her feel guilty that she was going to deceive him.

  “Do ye have regrets, Aislinn?”

  She managed to shake her head. “None.”

  He kissed her then full on the lips, as if he was sealing their fate. He then took hold of her hand. “Come then. I have much I must share with ye.”

  “I need to check on Declan.”

  “I have already done so. He was eating a full meal when I left him with Moira. Ye do not have to worry about him.”

  Without further explanation, he led her to the stable and helped her onto her large black mare. Once he was mounted, he looked at her for a long time, as though he yearned to tell her something, but didn’t quite know how to broach the subject.

  He turned away then and clicked his tongue, putting his horse into motion.

  Her mare was quick to follow.

  They traveled a small distance coming to a halt at the edge of the graveyard. Dougray dismounted first and helped her down. She looked to him for an explanation, but he would not give her any indication why they were here. Instead he again took her hand and led her through the endless headstones and Celtic crosses, until he was standing in front of the one that he had purposely sought. Aislinn glanced at him before she read the words that were engraved on the heavy stone. “Ella…” Her eyes darted back to him. “Ella was my wife, Aislinn.” His eyes caught and held hers. “We had only been married less than two weeks time when she…” Even now he had a hard time thinking of her as dead. He swallowed the lump in his throat before he could continue. “The marriage was arranged to better the ties between the Fitzpatricks and the Butlers. I was not opposed to the idea, once I laid eyes on Ella. Small she was with hair a shimmering pale gold. She was so sweet, timid actually, and so very young.”

  “What happened to her, Dougray?” Aislinn gripped his hand tighter, encouraging him to speak. She knew from Miriam some of the story, but she felt that she needed to hear it from him.

  “She went riding on my horse that I had personally saddled. I remember how she smiled down at me before she left with her escorts. It was just to be

  a quick ride before the noon meal. That was all it was supposed to be….” He covered his eyes with his hand, trying to still the guilty tears. “The horse, my mount, became skittish, and without warning, it bolted. Ella might have held on but the strap to the saddle snapped throwing her from her seat. The men brought her broken body to me and laid her at my feet. She looked like she was sleeping…just sleeping except for the light, bluish color of her lips. There was no chance to say good-bye to her. Her spirit was already gone.” “I’m so sorry, Dougray.” She really didn’t know what to say to him and maybe he didn’t expect her to say anything at all. She leaned close and he wrapped his strong arm around her. He then led her away to stand before their mounts.

  “I wanted ye to know that Ella was not someone ye had to worry about.” She shook her head ready to deny it, but he held up his hand. “I know ye had questions and I should have told ye from the start. I will not deny that I had feelings for her, for there had been something…sweet, tender. I had wished to protect her from the world.”

  “You loved her?” She spoke softly without accusations, but with a thread of sadness.

  “We had such a short time together. Maybe it could have been more.” He gently brushed the hair away from her neck. “Ye have made me question what love is.” His eyes clung to her. “I feel something deeper for ye, Aislinn, and it frightens me.” She reached for the solid strength of his arm only to have him clutch her hand with both of his. His steady gaze bore into her in silent expectation wanting her to feel the same, to bond to him fully.

  “You have unlocked my heart and soul, Dougray.” There was a small tremor in her voice. “Please be careful with them.”

>   His intense gaze traveled over her face like a welcoming caress. “Look into my eyes, Aislinn, and see the truth buried there. Ye are all that I want. It is I who fear being trampled.” His gaze never wavered, and with a pulse- pounding certainty, she knew that he was telling her the truth.

  Chapter 53

  Aislinn was telling Declan one of her own stories about the evil wizard Gerg, who was forever after the rainbow fairy that made all the colors of the lands. “And the evil wizard Gerg held poor Rainbow in the tower and every day that she was unable to see the light of day a color would fade from the land.”

  Dougray watched her from the doorway of their chambers, just taking in the sight that had unfolded before him. He cherished such moments, for it confirmed again that he finally had a family to call his own. Aislinn would never admit it, but she had gladly taken on the role of Declan’s mother and the boy obviously thought of her also in the same respect. He did not regret that he had agreed to foster the child. Even his own heart was growing found of the boy.

  Just then Declan’s head turned toward him and his face beamed with happiness. He jumped from Aislinn’s lap and ran over to him.

  “Milord.” The boy had reached him and was frantically searching the pockets of Dougray’s garments. Dougray’s low chuckle filled the room. “Dear lad, what is it ye think that I am hiding?”

  Declan stopped and craned his head back, looking wide-eyed up at Dougray. “Ye did not bring me a sweet?”

  He lowered himself so that he was eye level with the child. Aislinn noticed that a smile tugged at his lips. “Declan, I fear I have come to spoil ye.” Seeing the crestfallen look spread across the child’s face he hurried on, “But I love to do so.” With that he pulled from the folds of his mantle a container of honey pears.

  Declan’s small hands clapped in delight. “Oh thank ye so. It is my favorite.” He took the treat and ran over to the table.

  Dougray rose then to his full height and strode over to Aislinn, who was grinning at him. “Ye look lovely, my fair story teller.” He pulled her close. “Good enough to eat, I might add.”

  She couldn’t help but giggle. “Stop. Declan will see you.”

  He sighed heavily and released her. “Later perhaps?” He loved it when she blushed and she was doing so now.

  “A.J., do ye want some of my honey pears?” Declan offered.

  “No, you go right ahead, but thank you for offering.” She glanced back at Dougray who was watching her so intently. “What?”

  “Nothing in particular. I was just thinking how natural mothering comes to ye, and I can’t help but wish to see our own children at yer feet.”

  Aislinn turned away from him but not before he saw the wary expression in her eyes. He regarded her quizzically for a moment, trying to make sense of why she always avoided the discussion of having children. Surely she was aware that each time they came together there was a possibility of that happening. She could already be…. “Aislinn?”

  “Do you want to go with Declan and me to see Neala? We were going to do that, as soon as I finished the story.”

  How quickly she had changed the subject. Against his better judgment, he let it go. “I cannot for I have business to attend to. I will join ye later.”

  She nodded. Only when he finally left the room did she feel that she could relax. He wanted children, but she didn’t want to think about it.

  They had a full day at Neala’s, for the old woman had tales she wished to share, more myths and legends that Aislinn was eager to write down in her journal. She was beginning to have quite a collection now.

  They had headed back at a leisurely pace. Declan skipped up ahead when he caught sight of the gates, giving Teige the opportunity to voice his worries. “Fiona is using Cormac, I am sure. The man is besotted and a fool as well if he thinks that he should offer marriage to her.”

  “I am probably the wrong person to ask advice on this matter. Fiona isn’t exactly at the top of my list.”

  “I know. That is why I hoped that ye would speak with Cormac. He respects yer opinion.” He shook his head. “ I’ve never seen him act this way with any woman.”

  “As much as you refuse to believe it, Cormac is most likely in love with Fiona. I’m not sure that he will listen to me, but if you want I will…. Watch Declan!” She didn’t bother to explain. In a flash, she had taken off at a full run, leaving Teige wondering what in the world had just happened.

  She had been drawn to the commotion over by the bargaining table where a burley man had raised his hand to hit a petite woman who was standing right in front of him. It was the scream of terror that propelled her into action. “Stop it!” She tried to raise her voice above the man’s ranting and the woman’s wailing from each slap that she endured. The man either did not hear, or refused to, and continued his abuse. Aislinn saw onlookers but no one bothered to interfere. She was outraged by the time she reached them. Without thinking of her own safety, she grabbed a hold of the man’s arm, just as he was about to send his fist into the now hysterical woman. The man was beyond reason at this point. He turned at his would-be attacker and landed his free hand into Aislinn’s face. She never saw it coming and the punch hit her full force sending her flying back, hitting hard sprawled on the ground like an unwanted bundle.

  From there, everything seemed to happen so fast. The bully, who, she would find out later, was Haggerty, wore a horrified expression, for he realized all too late what he had done. He turned to flee but Dermot and Cormac had seen what had happened and had their swords drawn ready to use if the man so much as took another step.

  “Ye dare strike a lady?” Cormac jabbed the sword menacingly close to the man’s throat.

  “Ye will be lucky if ye live out this day,” Dermot added causing the woman who had been unmercifully beaten to scream at the top of her lungs.

  Teige arrived on the scene with Declan beside him. He offered his hand to Aislinn. “Are ye all right, milady?”

  “I am fine.” She gripped his hand thankful for his assistance, since she felt a little unsteady. “I was rash.” She felt the side of her face and knew that it was probably already starting to become black and blue.

  The woman, who had a bloody lip to show for the ill treatment bestowed on her, grabbed hold of Aislinn’s arm. “Please, milady. That is me husband. Spare his life, I beg of ye.”

  Spare his life? Aislinn would like nothing more then to end it, though not literally. The miserable swine had no business walking around, pounding his fist into people. He needed to be taught a lesson. But one look at the woman’s compelling eyes that were begging her to save her husband’s life made her wonder if the woman’s fears were warranted.

  She didn’t have time to respond for Cormac took matters into his own hands.

  “We will see what milord thinks of ye striking Lady Aislinn, aye?” He grabbed the sobbing bully by the collar dragging him away.

  Dermot cleared the crowd that had gathered, and Teige led Aislinn away from the woman, who was still pleading with her.

  Dougray didn’t waste a moment after he heard what had transpired. He went straight to their chambers, where Cahir was trying to apply a leach to Aislinn’s bruised face. “It will ease the swelling, milady. Do ye always have to be so difficult?”

  “I’m fine,” she answered him and moved away. The man had not exactly made an effort to make amends with her after he nearly had her burnt at the stake for thinking she had poisoned Dougray, and this was not making it any better with him wanting to put a bloodsucking thing on her face.

  “Are ye all right?” Dougray’s voice drew Aislinn to him. One look at her swollen face and he was enraged all over again. “I wanted to hear from yer lips what has happened, before I deliver a just punishment to Joseph Haggerty.” Her gaze alone indicated that she wished to speak to him alone. Once everyone was ushered out, and doors closed, he again looked at her. He gingerly touched the side of her face, causing her to wince. He clenched his teeth thinking how he wanted to slam h
is fist into Haggerty’s face for what he had done to her.

  “Joseph is his name?” “Aye.”

  “The man was beating on his wife. She is in worse shape than I am.” “And how did he happen to land his fists into ye?”

  “I tried to stop him. I guess I should have anticipated him retaliating against whoever tried to stop him from completing his mission.”

  “Ye should not have interfered, Aislinn.”

  “How could I not? He was beating a poor woman to death.” “It was his wife. The quarrel was between them.”

  She just stood there for a moment not believing she had heard him correctly. When she finally found her voice, she did not hide the fact that she was thoroughly disgusted. “The quarrel was between them? You don’t care that the man could have beaten her to death, and in front of witnesses, I might add. Not one person tried to stop the appalling brute from finishing his task.

  I can’t believe you think that it was all right.”

  “I never said that I agreed with the behavior. I would never condone a man abusing someone who could not defend themselves, man, woman or child.” “No? Well you just did. You said that it was none of my business and shouldn’t have interfered. Maybe you should just lock his wife in with him so that he could finish the job.” She turned away in a huff. “Ye must understand….”

  “Understand what?” She whirled on him. “I will not understand a man beating on a defenseless woman. I don’t care if he is the husband or not. It is wrong, and you, the Lord of Dunhaven, should see to it that the women are protected from such treatment. You lay down the law for other things. You could enforce this as well.”

  “Do not proceed to tell me how I should deal with my people. As for Joseph Haggerty, he will pay for the crime he has committed, and that was to dare lay a hand on ye.”

  “What are you going to do? Chop off his hand? Kill him? Boil him with hot oil? God, I am trapped in an uncivilized world.”

  “I’ll have ye know that I do not, at a whim, torture the people whom I am responsible for. Do ye think that I am that cruel?”