An Act of Restraint: Order & Chaos Book 1

by Samantha Wolfe

  "I owe you an apology, honey," I said, feeling chagrined by my ignorant stupidity. "I should have told you how I felt before now, but I was stupid and afraid." I took a deep breath to prepare myself for my confession. "I've never had a real girlfriend before. I've always been a bachelor. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here. I'm sorry, Jen."

  "I...I've never had a real boyfriend, and I don't know what I'm doing either, Ford," she said sheepishly with a flash of hesitancy in her eyes.

  "Then we can be clueless together, Jen," I told her emphatically. "We'll just take it one day at a time, and we'll figure it out as we go."

  "Okay," she murmured quietly, her eyes still a little fearful.

  "Come here, honey," I said softly, and pulled her toward me. She didn't fight me. I scooped her up and put her in my lap, cradling her body against mine and tucking her head under my chin. She felt so good, so right in my arms. It centered me, and made me feel whole. Holy hell, I had it bad for this woman.

  Jenny let out a deep sigh and relaxed into my arms, the tension in her body finally bleeding away completely. I breathed her in, and held her close for several long minutes, my tension from the last few hours fading as well.

  Jen leaned her head back and met my gaze. This time there was hope and affection in her eyes. I leaned down and kissed her, moving my lips gently against hers, relishing her soft plush lips. Need ignited inside me and I deepened the kiss, plundering her mouth with my tongue and feeding on her desperately. Jen whimpered into my mouth, and I groaned helplessly.

  "I need you, Ford," she whispered demandingly.

  "You've got me, Jenny," I rumbled in reply, meaning so much more than just my body as I stood with her still in my arms. I don't think she knew how much of me she owned, or the power that she had to build me up or destroy me. It was frightening how fast it happened, but I was more than willing to take that risk with her. I carried her to her room, fully intending to show her, in no uncertain terms, how much I was already hers.

  **********

  I set Jen down on her feet next to the bed and fisted the hair at the back of her head in my left hand. I bent her backwards as I grabbed her ass with my other hand. I stared at her gorgeous face for a long moment, admiring her flawless features as she stared back with lust in her eyes. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Desire spiked inside me, making me almost dizzy, and I pushed my lips into hers roughly. I kissed her hard and deep, taking what I wanted with long demanding sweeps of my tongue in her sweet mouth. Jen responded with a needy whimper as her hands clutched at my shirt desperately. Holy hell, I wanted her, every goddamn inch of her. A long rumbling growl bubbled up out of me, and her body went limp in my arms. Her submission bred dark indecent thoughts inside my head. I suddenly needed to bind her, and make her mine.

  "I want you to lie across the bed on your stomach," I demanded gruffly as I broke the kiss.

  "What if I don't want to?" she asked with a smirk as a flash of defiance sparked in her eyes. I had to smother a smile at seeing her acting like herself again. If I showed any weakness, I knew Jen would use it to her advantage. I loved the way she fought my dominance, even though I knew how much she craved it. Earning it was a pleasure like I'd never known. I wondered how I ever enjoyed compliant submissives who never fought against my dominance. I loved the battle with Jen. It made her submission that much sweeter when she granted it to me.

  "Do you want to come tonight or not, honey?" I gripped her chin firmly in my hand and stared her down. "Because I've found that orgasm denial is a great form of punishment."

  "You wouldn't dare," she growled out, her eyes glittering angrily in the low light.

  I leaned in closer, my lips just barely brushing her ear. "Try me," I spoke in a harsh threatening whisper. I leaned backward and smirked as her eyes widened in shock and disbelief. I let go of her and stepped back, eying her appraisingly as I crossed my arms and waited for her to make her choice.

  We shared a long challenging stare, neither of us willing to back down, until she finally huffed loudly and crawled up onto the bed. She laid on her stomach, and shot a scowl back at me.

  "That's my good girl," I told her in a deep rumble of approval. I stepped closer and ran a hand up her leg, loving how smooth and soft her skin felt under my palm. She shivered, her glare slipping from her face to be replaced by arousal.

  I walked over to Jen's dresser and opened the drawer where I knew she kept her scarves. It wasn't her blue hemp rope, but it would do for now. I pulled out the long sapphire blue one I used the other day, and a small green one that went well with the blue. I turned back to Jen, and watched her eyes drift down to the silk in my hands then darken with desire. She gave me a wicked smile of anticipation.

  "Tonight, my gorgeous Jen," I began in a sensual tone. "We're going to try a little sensory deprivation." I walked around to the other side of the bed and knelt down so we were at eye level. She was watching me with her chin resting on her forearms. I caressed the green silk along the side of her face. She sighed and leaned into my touch. "I'm going to blindfold you and bind your arms behind your back. Have you been blindfolded before?"

  "Yes," she answered with excitement glittering in her eyes. "I liked it."

  "Good," I murmured, and leaned in to place a soft kiss on her sweet lips. "Don't forget your colors, and use them if you need to. You know I'll respect them."

  "I trust you, Ford," Jen whispered as her eyes softened with affection.

  I practically shivered at her words, suddenly having to stuff down saying "I love you" again, before I blurted them out. She still wasn't ready for that, given what happened the last time a guy told her those words. Just the thought of that asshole taking her virginity by pretending he loved her, made my teeth clench as I fought my rising anger. I wished I could beat the shit out of the guy for even touching her. I shoved those thoughts away before Jen noticed my shifting mood.

  I stood and leaned over Jen, grabbed the hem of her T-shirt, and pulled it up and off her body. Her luscious tits were cradled in a lacy nude bra. I unclasped it and she helped me pull if off. I went around the other side of the bed and slid her shorts and panties down her legs, and slipped them off along with her sandals. Holy hell, her ass looked amazing, her lush curves driving me a little insane. I couldn't help myself, and I leaned down to grab a handful of her ass in each hand, kneading my fingers into her soft skin. I pressed an open mouth kiss to the base of her spine, and swirling my tongue in a slow circle.

  "Ford," she moaned. My fingers dug deeper into her ass at the sound of Jen saying my name. It felt like a caress to my soul. She was the only woman who ever had this effect on me.

  "Lift your ass up now," I commanded in a husky voice. This time she immediately obeyed, and I shoved both the bed pillows under her hips, so her ass was in the air. I could see her pussy now, and she was wet and glistening for me already. I reached out and gently ran my fingers through her folds, relishing the warm wetness on my fingertips. She moaned and wiggled her hips, wanting more.

  I was feeling generous tonight, so I slipped a finger inside her and thrust it in and out of her slowly. She shuddered and whimpered in delight.

  "See what happens when you're a good girl, Jen?" I said smoothly. "You get a reward." I crooked my finger, rubbing the velvet walls inside her firmly. She mewled and wriggled backwards, pushing my finger deeper into her pussy. I let her think that she got away with that and pushed a second finger into her. I rubbed her G-spot repeatedly, taking her higher and higher until she was just about to tip over the edge. I abruptly pulled my fingers out of her.

  "Goddamn it, Ford," she growled out in frustration.

  "I told you orgasm denial was a great form of punishment." I laughed darkly at the glower she threw over her shoulder at me.

  "You're an asshole," she snarled at me.

  Without warning, I lunged across the bed toward her, grabbed her hair roughly, and gave her a hard menacing stare. "I said I liked you sassy. I never said I liked be
ing disrespected." I growled out at her then got right in her face. "Don't. Test. Me." I bit each syllable out sharply. Her eyes widened in shock, and I realized what I had done. I'd gone full Dom on her without thinking. I'd never shown her that side of me before, but being disrespected like that wasn't something I would tolerate. I just hoped that I didn't frighten her or push her away. I'd never hurt her, and I didn't want her thinking that I would or could in any way.

  "I...I'm sorry, Ford," she said apologetically, remorse in her eyes, but thankfully no fear. "I got carried away. I wouldn't want anyone talking to me like that either."

  I sighed and loosened my grip on her hair. "I should have warned you. I can be pretty intimidating when I play sometimes, honey. I don't want to scare you."

  "I'm not afraid of you, Ford," she said with a soft smile. "You make me feel safe."

  "Oh, Jenny." A rush of emotion hit me hard. "Do you have any idea how perfect you are for me?" I asked her with a slight waver in my voice.

  She pursed her lips, a vulnerable and dubious look in her eyes. "I'm not perfect," she whispered as she looked away.

  "I said you were perfect for me, and that includes the bad and the good. I want you just the way you are."

  "Ford, I'm...I'm damaged goods. You shouldn't want me." Her eyes glistened with tears.

  "Look at me," I snapped out tersely. Her eyes flashed back up to meet my glare of disapproval. "The only thing that pisses me off more than being disrespected, is you doing it to yourself. I will not tolerate it. Understood?"

  "Y...yes, sir," she murmured with a nod.

  "Good girl." I growled, then pulled her up into my arms and kissed her fiercely, letting her feel just how much I wanted her. I poured everything into the kiss, my love and desire for her, my joy at finding her when I least expected it. I inundated her with all of it, until we were both left panting for air when I somehow managed to pull my mouth away from hers. Her lips were swollen and pink now.

  I watched her face closely. There was still vulnerability in her eyes, but now I saw joy and warmth in them too. Maybe if I showed her and told her often enough, she would finally believe how amazing she was. At least, this was a start. I nodded in satisfaction and stood.

  "Now," I said in a stern voice as I picked the blue scarf up off the comforter. "Get back on your stomach and put your hands behind your back."

  The warmth in her eyes turned to heat as she laid down again without a word. She moved her arms to her back, and I ran my hands up her legs to where her wrists rested on her lower back. I wrapped the blue scarf around her wrists and bound her firmly, making sure it wasn't too tight.

  "Color, Jen?" I asked as I admired my handy work and massaged her ass again.

  "Green, sir," she answered immediately in a soft breathy voice. I pulled my T-shirt off as I went back around the bed and stared down at Jen, loving the way her eyes roamed over my upper body. I knelt and gave her another long heated kiss until she moaned and whimpered, then pulled away. "Get an eyeful now, Jen," I told her with a smile. I grabbed the green scarf and held it up for her to see. She smiled in anticipation as I wrapped the scarf around her eyes and tied it at the back of her head.

  "Color?" I asked again.

  "I'm green, Ford."

  "I've waited long enough now, Jen," I told her in a low growl. "I need to be inside you. Need to claim you, and make you mine."

  "Please," she moaned out as her body shivered.

  Fuck, she turned me on like no other woman before her. I stood again, and went around the bed, then pulled a condom from Jen's nightstand. I was impatient now as I stared at her swollen dripping pussy. I unfastened my jeans and pushed them down just enough to free my cock. I was so damn hard and so damn ready. I put the condom on then came up behind her. I grabbed her hips and lifted them up, then pulled her toward me until her knees were right at the edge of the mattress, making it easy for me to line my cock up with her sex. I pushed steadily into her with a snarl as her tight warmth enveloped me.

  "Feel me, Jen," I said in a harsh growl as I continued pressing myself into her. "You're mine." I hit the end of her and shuddered as I fought for control. She did this to me, made me feel like a horny teenager on the edge of losing it. I leaned down and pressed myself against her. "You were made for me," I whispered in her ear.

  "Yes," she whispered shakily.

  "Don't come until I say." I straightened and began to move, my fingers digging into her hips as I started taking long fluid strokes in and out of her. My God, nothing had ever felt so good as my Jen when I was inside her tight wet heat. I shuddered again and picked up the pace. The increased friction threatened to unman me already, but I was too far gone to stop now.

  I hit a spot that made Jen gasp, so I did it again and again, watching her body practically hum with the tension of her impending release. I rode her harder, pushing her toward bliss as I chased after her, intent on us climaxing together.

  "So close, Ford. So close," she whimpered. "Please..."

  "Hold on, Jen," I snarled out deeply through clenched teeth. "I'm almost there. Wait for me."

  "Please, please, please, please..." she chanted in time with my thrusts, her voice almost hysterical now.

  I felt it coming, my balls tightening as the pressure inside me came to a head. I teetered right on the edge of it, and deepened my thrusts.

  "Now, Jen!" The pleasure overtook me. Jen screamed and her back arched as we fell over the edge together. The walls inside her milked me like a vice as I exploded inside her violently, my body convulsing and quaking uncontrollably. I shouted over Jen's wailing screams of completion as my release streaked through my body.

  Moments later, when I fell back down to reality, I was slumped over Jen's body, both of us trembling and covered in sweat. Holy fucking hell, how did sex with Jen just keep getting better? Jen moaned out my name and started fighting her bindings.

  "Shh, honey," I whispered reassuringly. "I've got you. Hold on."

  I stood and discarded the rubber, then swiftly untied the scarf from her wrists. I gathered her limp body into my arms and sat on the side of the bed, holding her close. I slipped the blindfold off her eyes, wanting to be the first thing she saw. She blinked as she tried to focus on me with an expression of languid happiness. Her eyes had that dreamy far away look of subspace as she floated in bliss.

  "Come back to me, Jen," I whispered softly. "I've got you." I cuddled her close, nuzzling my face into her hair. I was starting to think that Jen might be my forever. "I won't let you go." Not ever.

  Finally, Jen managed to wrap her arms around my neck, and I pulled back to see that her eyes were finally focusing on me now with warmth and adoration.

  "Welcome back, honey." I smiled tenderly at her, cherishing the trust that she willingly gave me. I'd never betray it, never, because she was mine now, and no matter how far I sent her flying, I'd always bring her back down safe and sound.

  Chapter 9

  Jenny

  I felt safe and treasured in Ford's arms when I came down from my high. I could see myself becoming addicted to Ford sending me into subspace. It hadn't been as intense this time, but it was still amazing, and thankfully it didn't jar loose any emotional issues in my head again. He held me close, his massive arms cradling me against his body. I slid one of my hands down from his neck to place it over his heart. I felt it beating strong and steadily under my palm, and focusing on it helped bring me the rest of the way back to earth from where he'd sent me flying.

  I looked up to meet his eyes, and saw a deep tenderness in his indigo eyes that nearly took my breath away. No man had ever looked at me like that before. It was equally terrifying and wonderful. It made emotions that I hadn't felt in a very long time come over me. Emotions that meant I had fallen for Ford and that the "L" word might be involved. The last time I felt like this, I'd been lied to and manipulated by Carter. I had to shut down a shiver of fear at that thought. Ford was nothing like Carter, I reminded myself. This was not the past, and Ford had done
nothing to make me doubt him.

  We had a little hiccup last night and today, but I think that was due to our inexperience with relationships and me being gun shy. Seeing him at my front door surprised me, and I assumed he was just here for another booty call. But then, he said he cared about me and wanted me to be his, and I could see it in his eyes, feel it in his words. When he kissed me, there was no doubting his sincerity, and I felt it down to my bones. I was truly his, and my fear of our connection actually managed to fade a little. I hoped that eventually it would be gone for good.

  "Are you hungry, honey?" Ford asked softly, finally breaking the comfortable silence between us.

  "I'm starving," I told him vehemently as I realized how hungry I was. I hadn't eaten since the early lunch I ate at Mom and Dad's house today.

  "Good," he replied. "I haven't eaten anything today, and I'm fucking dying here." His stomach rumbled, and he grinned at me. "See?"

  "Why didn't you eat anything?" I asked incredulously.

  "I was too busy trying to fix things between us," he murmured as he brushed my hair out of my face. "I didn't want to lose you." An apologetic look crossed his handsome features. "This is all so new to me, and I almost fucked everything up. I'm sorry."

  "It's okay," I told him as I touched his scruffy cheek with my fingers. "We figured it out."

  "What if I do it again?" His brow furrowed deeply as a lost look came over his eyes. For the first time, I saw a chink in Ford's seemingly unflappable confidence. It pulled at my heart to see him like that.

  "Then we'll figure that out too," I said, trying to reassure him.

  He nodded as his smile returned. He hugged me even tighter until he squeezed the air right out of my lungs. I grunted in discomfort, and he loosened his grip a little.

  "Ford, if you don't stop hugging me, we'll starve to death." I smiled up at him.

  "I can think of worse ways to go." He smirked at me and rubbed his nose against mine.