One Of The Guys

by Johnson, Ashley

  I shot Wendy a go-to-hell look. I can do that, she’s my sister. “I didn’t do a fucking thing to her. I tried to talk to her and she flipped the hell out on me. Someone needs to be straight with me, why’s she fighting. She’s hiding something and one of you knows.”

  Rocky sat on the couch and simply looked at me. “That’s her business and not yours. I’m not stupid I know the two of you have something going on but you need to keep it on a semi-professional level around the gym.”

  “That’s the thing Rocky, we don’t have anything going on. She won’t open up to me. Fucking teases me with two kisses and then I fucked it up. She said she didn’t want to be treated differently. What the hell is wrong with me?”

  Wendy knelt in front of me staring into my eyes. “You like her Cole, it’s not a crime. Just give it some time. She’s stubborn, kind of like how you used to be.”

  Rocky cleared his throat before he interfered in the conversation. I really hope he’s not planning on screaming at me for walking out tonight too. I pretty much expect it but my brain is warped from Sam, I can’t handle much more tonight. “Look Cole I’m pissed don’t think I’m not at the fact you two ran off tonight but I know you were just looking out for her and so I won’t hold this against you. Like I told her, we’ll put this behind us. But I will say this, the two of you are the best I have and if you two can’t get your heads out your asses then I’ll have to for you and you won’t like it.”

  We talked a few more minutes before the two of them left. I could do nothing but toss and turn wondering what Sam was doing and whether she was thinking of me. Is she ok? That’s all I really care about. The whole debacle plays through my head constantly. Everthing. Especially the part where she thought I’d actually put my hands on her like that. Things have been more than screwed up tonight. Before I closed my eyes, I imagined her soft lips pressed against mine as I held her because that’s the only way I could have it was by imagining. Was she going to avoid everyone again like she did a few weeks ago? If she did, I’d find her and then she’d talk to me because I can’t walk through that hell again and make it out alive.

  Chapter 22

  Sam

  I made the mistake after my black eye of avoiding everyone. Not this time. I would walk in with my head held high and train. And I’d do it all while I avoided Cole. That’s exactly what I did too. I walked my ass into Lou’s and when I saw Trey I made a beeline for him.

  He stood beside the weight bench looking like he was trying to decide whether to lift weights or do something else. I leaned against the bench and let out a huge sigh.

  “Well, where did you and Cole run off to? There were a lot of pissed off people last night.”

  His raised eyebrows suggested he thinks we went off and had sex. If only he knew it was the complete opposite. When I got home, I threw myself across the bed and before I could fall asleep of course I received a call to get Dad from Janie’s because he had too much to drink again. He complied perfectly and caused no problems once we got home so as soon as we were both in the door, I took off running to my room and tried to forget everything that happened between Cole and I. I smiled on the inside thanking the heavens above that Dad didn’t cause any ruckus; I didn’t need to deal with that mess. I had enough of a crazy fucked up night.

  “Yeah ok want me to punch you now or later asshole?” I couldn’t help but laugh when he dramatically dropped his jaw.

  “Can’t blame a guy for asking.”

  “Whatever. Look can I be honest with you Trey?” I ran my fingers through my ponytail before crossing my arms over my chest. I don’t know why but I feel like I can somewhat trust him. He is the only one here from the beginning that didn’t try to be all suave. Well, Jack was married and Wendy and Rocky are together but who’s keeping track?

  “Of course.”

  “I like him ok. Really really like him. Don’t give me those eyes, you knew this already but I can’t let anything happen. Can you distract him from me?”

  “Um, I’m not gay Sam. I thought you knew this.”

  I punched his arm and busted out laughing. “You are an ass Trey. Fucking unbelievable.”

  I should have smelt Cole walking up but it was that smooth voice of his that gave it away. “What’s so funny?”

  My eyes met his in an instant and his eyes were filled with hurt but there was a gleam of hope in them. I cleared my throat and quickly answered, “Nothing at all. I’m just having a conversation with Trey.”

  His breath tickled my ear as he leaned in and asked, “Can I talk to you for a second?”

  Oh the chills it sent down my spine and the way it made me go weak in the knees. I felt like the biggest bitch when I looked at him and deadpanned, “No.”

  He let out an exasperated sigh and hung his head in defeat before stalking off to be alone. Trey looked at Cole then back at me. “Damn girl, you are cold hearted. All he wants to do is talk.”

  “Yeah, well that’s what I’m afraid of.”

  Wendy came walking up holding her tiny belly. She must have caught the end of the conversation because she jumped in with her two cents. “Why are you afraid to talk to him Sam?”

  Unbelievable. Everyone wants to give their opinion. If I didn’t love Wendy, I’d probably smart off but I can’t do that to her. “I just am. I don’t know, it’s weird. He’s amazingly sweet. But it’s like every time he brings me back to the apartment to hang out, I screw it up.”

  “So you screw it up but you don’t screw him? What am I missing here?” I shot daggers at Trey after his remark. He threw his hands up laughing before going to talk to Rocky which was probably best for him right now. I was liable to punch him in his face for his comments.

  Wendy brushed her dark bangs out of her face and flashed a smile in my direction. “Come shopping with me, get your mind off this place and Cole. Rocky won’t mind, I promise.”

  “You know what, I will. It’s just what I need.”

  Before I walked out the door, I turned to see Cole watching me. His face a mix of hurt and anger. I should have just talked to him but there’s too much at stake and I’ve got my eye on the prize. He saw too much last night. I’ve almost stepped as far as to let him be involved and it can’t happen. Ever.

  Wendy drug me to all kinds of baby stores and then on top of that, she made in go inside Wal-Mart. Oh dear God, I think I’m about to lose it. I like to avoid that place like the plague. People in there are the worse, and there’s never more than two registers open. But she was so excited about the baby stuff I couldn’t be mad. I think babies have this magnetic pull on people, I mean who can look at a baby or some baby stuff and be upset about anything?

  She immediately picked up a girl bedding set that was covered in pink and purple butterflies. “Ohmigod this is absolutely adorable! I have to have it, what do you think? Should I put it on the registry or buy it myself?”

  I didn’t know she knew what she was having but maybe it was purely wishful thinking on her end. “Who’s throwing your baby shower? Your mom?”

  She got a distant look in her eyes before she faced me and took a deep breath, “Um, no. My parents died a few years ago in a car wreck. Some drunk driver ran them off the road.”

  All it took was one tear falling down her cheek to make me feel like shit. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry Wendy. I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth. I had no idea. I feel horrible.”

  She placed her hand on mine and smiled weakly. “Hey you didn’t know don’t feel bad ok?”

  The idea hit me like a ton of bricks and a smile came across my face. “I’ll throw your baby shower. It can be a couple’s shower. Guys can bring diapers and women gifts. We can play games and it’ll be fun. Only thing is, can we have it at your place? I don’t really have a place to hold it.”

  “You would do that for me? Aw Sam, I love you. Maybe if you and my brother ever can work things out, you and I could be sisters. How awesome would that be?”

  Right before she could hug me, I shot her a look.
Wendy and I sisters? Sounds cool but there’s no way he and I will ever work things out. I have too much baggage and I refuse to weigh him down, even if his kisses are like heaven.

  “Yeah ok, no. I love you though too so much. Ok, let’s plan this for let’s say this coming weekend. That gives us a few days to get a cake ordered and get some food thrown together. I can order all that. And I can get some decorations and look online for game ideas. I know he’s going to be there and everything will be ok but I just, I don’t know if anything will ever be with us.”

  “I know my brother Sam, he’s never been one to actually like a girl. He likes you I can tell and I know. He’s just as scared as you are, but that’s the last thing I’m going to say about that. Scouts honor.”

  What the hell is up with people telling me scouts honor? The last time I was told that was with Trey and quickly after I agreed, he informed me he was never a boy scout.

  “By the way, I was really a girl scout Sam.”

  I had to burst out laughing but my laughter stopped the minute the cashier scanned my buggy that was full to the brim with gifts, decorations and other stuff for Wendy and Rocky’s baby shower. Who knew all this stuff would add up so fast and I’d practically have to pull out a small loan to cover it? Ok it wasn’t that bad but I spent a pretty penny. I didn’t mind at all because at least it was going to something good and it really didn’t hurt what I already had saved up at home in my little shoebox. Just a little more is all I needed to save to get out the house and I couldn’t wait.

  Immediately Wendy got on her phone and started texting people, we only had a few days but I knew this was going to be the best baby shower ever.

  ***********

  The week flew by rather quickly and before we knew it, it was the day of the baby shower. Pink and blue streamers hung from the ceiling in Rocky and Wendy’s cute little two bedroom house. A blue and pink tablecloth lay over the kitchen table and there was confetti all over. Wendy decided to do both pink and blue since she still wasn’t telling anyone the sex of the baby. I wasn’t sure if she even wanted to know yet. Balloons hung off chairs and I had to monitor Trey to make sure he wasn’t sucking all the helium out of them. These people are nothing but big freaking kids!

  I decided to be nice for the day and speak to Cole. I’ve barely said two words to him all week, I thought it was easier this way, but honestly it was hard as hell. He’s too gorgeous to not speak to and when he smiles at me, oh dear I just want to melt.

  “Thank you for doing this for Wendy. It means the world to us.” I looked over to see Rocky standing beside me. I half hoped it would have been Cole but better later I suppose.

  “It was my pleasure. Ya’ll have done so much for me; this was a blast to plan.”

  He gave me a hug before stepping away and my eyes met Cole’s as he made his way to me. I wonder if I can hide under this table next to me, surely no one will see. Better yet, I shouldn’t because if I knock this cake over on accident, Wendy would murder me. I ordered the cake from a local cake shop that’s known for their specialties. The inside was a blue and pink marble with you guessed it, blue and pink buttercream frosting. In big bold letters, it read, ‘Congrats Wendy & Rocky’.

  “You did a good job with this Sam, Wendy is excited.”

  “Well she’s my best friend; I would do anything for her.” His gaze is strong, a little too strong as its pulling me towards him like always.

  He took a deep breath as I turned my head trying to get my mind off him. “Sam, look I’m so sorry for that night. I just wanted you to talk to me. I miss you.”

  “What’s to miss?” I deadpanned. The stone walls around my heart were back in place and showed no signs of falling down anytime soon. I could play tough and show no emotion whatsoever. But I felt shitty doing it. “I’m sorry Cole, I didn’t mean that.”

  He smiled a little as he replied, “It’s ok, and I deserve that. I meant what I’ve said though. I want to be with you.” When he says things like that me, my insides start cutting somersaults.

  “Don’t say that if you don’t mean it Cole.” I whispered trying to regain some control over my body because dammit my emotions were running rampant.

  Before I could hear Cole’s response, Trey came walking up with a bright pink balloon and a very high-pitched helium voice singing, “Sam and Cole are sitting in a tree, f-u-c-k……”

  “Oh God, someone get the helium away from him! You are such a jackass!!” I slapped his arm and I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. That was definitely not the original version I used to sing growing up! My face felt like it turned a few shades of red, I mean I was absolutely mortified but no one seemed to be paying attention thank God.

  “Wow, he’s really rooting for us huh?” He tried to reach and touch my arm but I moved away scared to get too close. The last time I halfway began to get close, everything crumbled. His smile was melting my soul and his eyes well they were practically burning holes in me and I needed to escape.

  “Yeah, well he’s the only one.” With that I stalked off ready to get this party started and after popping a pepper jack cheese cube into my mouth, it was time.

  Too many presents later and a few garbage bags full of trash, it was time to play games. Wendy wanted to smack the shit out of everyone who tried to guess the size of her belly and guessed way too big. She informed us she was not a whale and just for that, she wasn’t announcing what they were having until after the baby was born. Aha, so she does know the sex of the baby. I can’t believe she hasn’t slipped up and told anyone yet. Rocky just smiled at her and went along with all of it. He opted out of playing that game because he said and I quote, “I want to make sure I get lucky tonight.” Well played Rocky.

  After all the festivities, everyone sat around talking until it got dark. No one managed to bring up the fights or anything that would cause any sort of awkwardness. I watched Wendy and Rocky being so intimate with each other and wondered if things didn’t get so twisted with Cole if we would be that same way. This is torture hiding my feelings from him when he clearly wants to talk and apparently be with me. I said my goodbyes practically running out the door doing everything I could to avoid Cole. The hardest part was seeing him watch me walk out. I wondered if he would come after me but when he didn’t, I continued to my truck with my head held high. So far I was doing just fine.

  Chapter 23

  Cole

  I think I fell a little more in love with Sam when I found out she wanted to throw Wendy a baby shower. I’m not too sure how this kind of stuff goes since I’m a guy but I know all pregnant women have one and with Mom being gone, I wasn’t sure how she would.

  Yes, I said love. I love Sam. How do I know since I’ve never been in love? I just know. It’s the way my day begins and ends with her. She’s the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing before I go to bed. She consumes my every thought but unfortunately we’re both so damn stubborn we get nowhere.

  My one attempt to speak to her at the shower went fairly well until Trey’s dumbass came up singing his own version of Sam and I sitting in the tree. If she and I ever sat in a tree, we wouldn’t be fucking, I’d make love to her. God, what is this woman doing to me?

  Just when I thought she was the only woman pissed at me, Wendy practically lost her head when I misjudged the size of her belly. I should have been smart like Rocky and just opted out. As I watch Sam smiling at all of this, I can’t help but want to be beside her but she’s keeping her distance and I don’t want to piss her off.

  Trey’s way of helping clean up was deflating even more balloons I walked up and smacked him in the back of the head. “Aw dude what the fuck was that for?”

  “I had her talking to me and you walk up singing that ridiculous fucking song.”

  “You know that was genius so don’t give me that shit Cole. You wanted to sing along, admit it.”

  I threw a plastic cup at his head and when it hit the ground, Sam just glared at me. To make peace I immediat
ely picked it up and tossed it in one of the many black trash bags that now covered the floor. I swear I saw the corners of her mouth curl into a smile but she would hardly let me see. I love her smile, I love everything about her but she’s so damn guarded. I helped Rocky move all the presents into the baby’s room while the girls had their female talks, I didn’t care to listen to any of it.

  “Damn, ya’ll racked up. So are you going to tell me whether I’m having a niece or a nephew?”

  “Yeah so she can punch me in the nuts later? Sorry, your sister would kill me.”

  I know she would but I was hoping he’d tell me. They went for more of the neutral theme with gifts. I bought her a swing and a playpen and immediately hated it once I began putting it all together. Too many screws and well, too many pieces to figure out what goes where. May have better luck if I’d open the directions but I don’t need them.