Building the Perfect Daddy

by Brenda Harlen

  She was surprised by the request. “Didn’t I already sign off on it?”

  He shook his head as he glanced down at the baby, who had reached his destination and was now pulling himself up to a standing position by holding on to the leg of Ryder’s pants. “What are you doing, big guy?”

  Zachary responded with a droolly smile.

  “No.” Ryder kept his focus on the baby as he responded to her question. “The manufacturer couldn’t supply your first choice—this is the alternate.”

  “Okay. I’ll come take a look.”

  “We were in the middle of something here,” Rob reminded her.

  “No,” she said bluntly. “We weren’t.”

  Kylie, her snack apparently finished, came back to the room to finish her puzzle. When she saw Zachary with her favorite stuffed dog in his hand, she snatched the toy from him.

  “Mine,” she told him.

  Of course, the abrupt loss of the toy caused her brother to burst into tears.

  Ryder started to reach for the baby, instinctively wanting to soothe his distress. Then he glanced in Rob’s direction and apparently thought better of it.

  “Kylie,” Lauryn admonished wearily, lifting Zachary into her arms.

  “But it’s mine,” Kylie said, her own eyes filling with tears as she hugged the toy to her chest. “He always takes what’s mine.”

  “Come here, baby,” Rob said, holding out his arms to his daughter.

  But Kylie turned away from him and threw herself at Ryder, wrapping her arms around his legs and sobbing dramatically, which did not please her father.

  Ryder lowered his head to whisper something to Kylie, who drew in a deep, shuddery breath and relinquished her viselike grip on him.

  “I’ll be there in just a minute,” Lauryn told him.

  He nodded and turned to head back up the stairs.

  “Well, that was...enlightening,” Rob said.

  Lauryn wasn’t quite sure how to respond. While she would have preferred if her ex-husband had stayed gone, he had been making an effort to get to know his children, and it had to hurt to see how attached they were to the other man.

  “They’ve seen Ryder almost every day for the past six weeks,” she told him.

  “Are you really trying to make me feel better?” Rob mocked her effort. “Isn’t it my own fault that my kids don’t know me?”

  “It’s a simple fact,” she said. “Fault doesn’t matter.”

  “I guess it’s like the song says—you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. And it is gone, isn’t it?”

  She nodded.

  And when he was finally gone, too, she called Tristyn again. “I need a favor.”

  * * *

  Ryder didn’t stick around to see how long Lauryn’s ex-husband stayed. He took a list of supplies that were required and headed to the hardware store.

  He’d been right about the ex. The guy had come back to make another play for the woman he’d been foolish enough to walk away from, and while Ryder had been tempted to punch him in the face when he saw his hands on Lauryn, he’d held himself back. After all, it had nothing to do with him.

  But several hours later, when he was staring at but not really watching the football game on television, she showed up at his door.

  “Do you remember when I said that Kylie and Zachary were my world and you wanted to know what you were to me?” she asked him.

  He tucked his hands in his pockets to prevent himself from reaching for her. “I remember that you didn’t really answer the question.”

  “Well, I’m ready to answer it now.”

  “Okay,” he said cautiously.

  “You are my gravity,” she said.

  He wasn’t quite sure how to interpret that. “I weigh you down?”

  She shook her head, the corners of her mouth lifting just a little. “You keep me grounded. And—” she lifted her arms to link them behind his neck “—you are the force that attracts my body.”

  “Am I?” His hands came out of his pockets and went around her, so that she was in his embrace.

  “Yes.” She drew his mouth down to hers. “For the past four days, I feel as if I’ve been floating without any direction or purpose.” She brushed her lips against his. “I’ve missed you, Ryder.”

  He kissed her back, savoring the sweet softness of her mouth. He’d missed her, too. He’d missed this. “You’re making it hard for me to stay mad at you,” he admitted.

  “Good, because I don’t want you to be mad at me.” She pressed closer to him. “I’m sorry I hurt you. To be honest, I didn’t know that I could. I didn’t know what any of this meant to you.”

  “Then let me make it clear—I love you, Lauryn.” He sucked in a breath and blew it out again, a little unsteadily. “And that’s the first time I’ve ever said those words to a woman who isn’t related to me,” he confided, “so let me try it again. I love you, Lauryn.” This time he smiled afterward. “And I love Kylie and Zachary, too. I understand that you have to figure out what’s best for them, but I want to be a factor in that equation, too.”

  She hugged him tight. “You are an essential factor in that equation.” And began to unfasten his shirt. “Let me show you how essential.”

  “You don’t fight fair,” he protested.

  “I don’t want to fight at all.” Parting the fabric, she pressed her lips to his skin, where his heart was beating for her.

  He didn’t want to fight, either. Not when the alternative was so tantalizing. But he held her at arm’s length long enough to ask, “Who’s with the kids now?”

  “Tristyn.”

  He lifted her sweater over her head, tossed it aside. “What time is she expecting you home?”

  “I warned her I might be late.”

  “You’re going to be very late,” he confirmed.

  Then he lifted her into his arms and carried her to his bed.

  * * *

  He’d told her he loved her.

  Several days later, Lauryn was still marveling over that fact—and wondering if he’d noticed that she’d never said the words back. Not because she didn’t feel the same way, but because she was determined to take their relationship one day at a time. With her ex-husband still in town, his presence an almost-daily reminder of that failed relationship, it seemed wise.

  She was putting more hours in at the store again as the community embraced Sports Destination and business continued to pick up. Adam wanted to hire another part-time employee in anticipation of the holiday rush, and she was giddy anticipating that there might actually be a holiday rush. In fact, she was so caught up in preparations for the post-Thanksgiving sales she nearly forgot about Thanksgiving itself and might have done so if Ryder hadn’t asked about her plans.

  “My mom and my aunts play hostess on a rotating schedule for major holidays,” she told him. “I think we’re at my Aunt Jane’s house this time.”

  “Thanksgiving is in five days and you think it’s at your Aunt Jane’s?”

  She opened the calendar app on her phone and scrolled to the date, then nodded. “Aunt Jane’s at four o’clock.”

  “Were you planning to invite me to go with you?” he asked.

  “I didn’t think you’d be interested in that kind of thing,” she admitted. “And it’s usually pretty chaotic. With all of my aunts, uncles and cousins, there will probably be thirty people there.”

  “I like people,” he assured her. “And I really like turkey.”

  “Then I guess there’s no reason you can’t come with us,” she decided.

  “So why does it sound as if you’re looking for a reason?”

  “I’m not,” she said. “I’m just wondering what to tell people... How to explain our...situation.”

 
“Our situation?” he echoed, amused. “I believe it’s called a relationship. And one of the basic rules of a relationship is that the people involved usually make an effort to be together on national holidays and other special occasions.”

  “That’s a rule?” she asked.

  He nodded solemnly. “One of the big ones.”

  “All right. Would you like to spend Thanksgiving with me and the kids and the rest of my family?”

  “I’d love to,” he told her.

  “Okay,” she agreed. “But if you get the third degree from my dad and my uncles and half of my cousins, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  * * *

  Two days before Thanksgiving, Lauryn was in her office with Adam, reviewing purchase orders for the summer retail season, when there was a knock on the open door.

  “Hey, Lauryn. Do you have a minute?” Rob asked.

  She looked questioningly at her manager.

  “I’ll go help Bree unpack the shipment that came in yesterday afternoon,” he offered.

  “Thank you.” She turned her attention to her ex-husband, waiting for him to tell her why he’d stopped by—because she knew there had to be a reason.

  “I talked to Roxi this morning,” he finally said. “She’s pregnant.”

  Lauryn took a minute to digest the information. “Yours?”

  He nodded.

  “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You don’t sound very excited,” she noted.

  “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel,” he admitted. “I know I haven’t been a very good father to Kylie—or a father at all to Zachary.”

  “Maybe the third time’s the charm,” she suggested.

  “Maybe,” he said a little dubiously.

  “How does this affect your plans here?” she asked. Because she really didn’t care that he’d knocked up his girlfriend except insofar as it affected her children.

  “She’s willing to give me another chance,” he told her. “And to put me in charge of the retail side of her business.”

  “So you’re going back to California?”

  He nodded, and she slowly released the breath she’d been holding.

  “Are you going to marry her?”

  “Roxi doesn’t believe that a relationship needs to be sanctioned by religious or government authorities,” he said, obviously quoting his girlfriend.

  “The baby might change her mind about that,” Lauryn told him.

  “Maybe,” he said again, with little enthusiasm. “You know, when we got married, I really thought we’d be together forever.”

  “So did I.”

  “I don’t know when that changed,” he admitted. “But somewhere along the line, I started to realize that I was letting you down. And that was the beginning of a vicious cycle—I felt like a terrible husband, so I acted like a terrible husband.”

  “I never had any grand ideals or expectations,” she said. “I just wanted us to be partners in our marriage, to work together and build a family.”

  “And when I failed to do my part, you managed everything without me. You never needed me.”

  “That’s not true,” she denied.

  “Maybe you wanted me,” he allowed, “but you didn’t really need me. I failed you in so many ways, and you just did whatever needed to be done. You took care of the house, the baby, everything, and so competently I couldn’t help but feel extraneous.

  “Roxi isn’t like you,” he said now. “Being on her own for the past couple of weeks has made her realize that she needs me—and I think, maybe, I need to be needed.”

  “Your children need you.” As much as she would like to see the back of him, she had to think about Kylie and Zachary and what was best for them. And she couldn’t help but worry about the void his absence would again leave in the lives of their children—especially Kylie’s.

  “No, they don’t. Not really. They’re already more bonded to your new boyfriend than they are to me.”

  She couldn’t deny that was true and she refused to feel guilty about it. If she felt guilty for anything, it was telling Ryder that her ex-husband was the only father her children had, because she knew now that wasn’t true. Ryder had been there for both Kylie and Zachary in so many ways, proving that actions were a stronger measure than biology when it came to parenting.

  “If I had any doubts about that, they were put to rest that day at your house—when Kylie and Zachary both turned to him instead of me. That’s when I realized that I either needed to figure out how to be the full-time father my kids deserve or let them get on with their lives without me. But if I stay here, I’m abandoning another kid—Roxi’s baby.”

  “Go back to California,” she advised. “Take this second chance to be a dad—and do it right this time.”

  He seemed surprised—and grateful—that she was letting him off the hook, then he nodded. “I’m going to try.” He stood up and hugged her. “Have a good life, Lauryn.”

  “I will,” she said. “Good luck to you.”

  As Rob was on his way out, he passed Ryder on his way in.

  “How long were you standing there?” Lauryn asked.

  “Long enough,” he said. “But I had no intention of interrupting what looked like a goodbye.”

  “It was a goodbye,” she assured him. “Rob’s going back to the west coast.”

  “How do you feel about that?” he asked cautiously.

  “A lot relieved and a little sad—not that he’s leaving but that he couldn’t be the father Kylie and Zachary deserve.”

  “Lucky for them, they’ve got a really awesome mom.”

  And you, she wanted to tell him. Because she’d finally recognized the truth he’d alluded to that day in her office. And although he seemed to have forgiven her thoughtlessly cruel words, Lauryn was determined to make it up to him by loving him for as long as he would let her.

  * * *

  Lauryn had always enjoyed celebrating the holidays with her extended family. She considered herself fortunate that she’d grown up with not just two sisters but a whole bunch of cousins, and as those cousins married and had babies, she was happy to see the next generation hanging out together.

  She was even happier to see Braden sitting on the sofa in Aunt Jane’s living room with Vanessa in his arms. It was no secret that her cousin loved kids—or that he and his wife had been trying for several years to have one of their own. During that time, they’d skipped a lot of family gatherings. Lauryn knew it had to be difficult for both of them to be surrounded by other people’s babies, so she was thrilled to see that they were here today—and that Braden was playing the doting uncle.

  Lauryn took her glass of wine and settled onto the sofa beside him. “She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?”

  “Of course, she’s a Garrett,” Braden said immodestly. Then he glanced across the room to where Justin’s wife was in conversation with his own. “Although her mom’s got pretty good genes, too.”

  “Speaking of her mom—how did you manage to wrestle Vanessa away from Avery?”

  “No wrestling required,” he said. “I just told her that I needed practice for when our baby comes.”

  Lauryn’s gaze immediately shifted from his smiling face to that of his not obviously pregnant wife across the room. “Are you... I mean, is Dana...”

  He shook his head. “No, she’s not pregnant. But if all goes according to plan, we’ll have our own bundle of joy before the end of the year.”

  “What’s the plan?” she asked cautiously.

  “A private adoption. We’ve already signed the papers, we’re just waiting for the baby to be born.”

  “Oh, Braden, that’s wonderful,” she said, sincerely thrilled for her cousin and his wife.

  �
��It is,” he agreed. “Although we’re trying not to get too excited about it. Even though we’ve met with the birth mother and she’s adamant that this is what she wants, there’s always a possibility that she’ll change her mind when she holds her baby in her arms.”

  Lauryn nodded, already praying that Braden and Dana wouldn’t suffer such a heartbreaking disappointment. They’d both been through so much already.

  “The way this family’s been growing, we’re going to need another table for holiday meals pretty soon,” she said, focusing on the positive.

  “Speaking of additions to the family,” Braden said, grinning, “tell me about the new guy in your life.”

  * * *

  While Lauryn was catching up with Braden in the family room, Ryder had been cornered by Jordyn in the den. Over the past couple of months, he’d gotten to know both of Lauryn’s sisters pretty well—and he knew that none of them had any secrets from the others. And while Tristyn had given an enthusiastic thumbs-up to Lauryn’s relationship with him, he sensed that Jordyn was still reserving judgment.

  “You must be getting close to finishing up the renovations at Lauryn’s house,” she noted.

  “It won’t be too much longer,” he confirmed.

  “And then what happens?” she prompted.

  “Are you inquiring about the schedule for my crew or asking about my personal plans?”

  “I shouldn’t be asking about anything,” she admitted. “Lauryn would be the first to tell me that your relationship is none of my business, but she’s had a rough year and I’m a little concerned that her feelings for you aren’t reciprocated to the same degree.”

  “You’re right—our relationship isn’t any of your business,” he agreed. “But I know you’re motivated by concern, so I’ll tell you—I’m in love with your sister.”

  The furrow between Jordyn’s brows eased a little. “The ring-on-her-finger, forever-after kind of love?”

  “Do you want to see the ring?” he asked. He’d bought a diamond solitaire a few days earlier, when he’d realized that he couldn’t imagine his future without Lauryn in it. He still had a lot to learn about family, but he was confident that she could teach him everything he needed to know.