“Start with the shaving cream,” he said.
She smiled but didn’t turn around. “Getting a little nervous, are we?”
“Nope, just admiring your ass while I’m sitting here and thought I’d multitask and give you instructions at the same time.”
Blood boiled and she shook the can jerkily, with much more force than needed. She whipped herself around, being sure to frown so that it was clear what she thought about his remark. She patted his face with the shaving cream and then smeared it around.
“Stop laughing,” she said. “It’s not funny.” She continued spreading the lightly pine-scented shaving cream on his face, trying not to notice how intimate this was beginning to feel. “How do I know there’s enough?”
“I think you’ve got enough,” he said, as a few globs dripped down his face and onto his shirt.
She nodded. “Wait, what are you doing?” She watched with excited dread as he unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off. She cleared her throat and said a prayer that she wouldn’t go beet red. It was all that muscle. And naked skin. And close quarters. And the whole attraction thing.
“You okay, Lil?”
“Of course I’m okay,” she snapped, hating that he knew she was so not okay at the moment. She wiped her hands on a towel, picked up the razor, and approached him.
“Here, why don’t I do this?” he said, opening his legs, placing his hands on her hips, and guiding her between them. Her breasts were now at his eye level, and she knew this was going to end very badly for her and her self-control. Neither of them said anything, and the bathroom felt as hot as a tropical island. She tried not to take a deep breath, but her heart was hammering and she was pretty sure he’d notice, considering the close quarters. She needed to calm down. “Ready?” His voice was thick and throaty and held all the delicious notes that it did whenever they were close. She would not make eye contact.
“Let’s just get this done as quickly as possible,” she said, positioning the razor close to where his sideburn would start. Her heart raced with the pressure of not hurting him and the electric chemistry between them. He grabbed her wrist before she was about to start and looked at her. His eyes were filled with something she didn’t understand. “Don’t worry,” she said, “I promise not to take my anger out on your face.”
He didn’t smile, his intense gaze hinting at a vulnerability she hadn’t expected. “It’s not that. I just…I haven’t seen this…my face in five years. It’s Michael’s face, Lil,” he said. His voice was thick with emotion and his eyes glistened with it. Her heart ached as she looked at him, and all her own issues with him receded as she witnessed his vulnerability. She wanted to hold him and kiss him until she could take away his pain. But she couldn’t do that.
“Jack, it’s your face. You’ve mourned enough; you’ve got to reclaim your life now. No more hiding,” she said, forcing herself not to cry, to be encouraging.
He gave a nod, the emotion gone at once, and dropped his hand from her wrist. “You’re right. Go for it. I’ll sit back and enjoy this view.”
“You don’t give up, do you?” she asked, relieved when she made the first swipe of the razor without nicking him anywhere. She continued in silence, rinsing the razor and going back to shaving for the next ten minutes. They didn’t say a word to each other and she refused to process the face she was uncovering until he finally stood and took a deep breath.
He finally looked up and met her gaze in the mirror, but the image of him blurred because her eyes filled with tears at the sight of her Jack. The most beautiful man she’d ever seen. “You’re back,” she whispered, taking a step into him and reaching out to touch both sides of his face. His jaw was chiseled and clenched as her hands went to frame it. He squeezed his eyes shut and ground out her name as though it hurt to speak.
“Lily.”
She was unable to hold on to her anger as she stood this close to him, witnessing his pain, wanting to comfort him, wishing everything that stood between them would just melt away and they could find a new place together. “How I’ve missed you,” she whispered.
Jack opened his eyes and her breath caught at the emotion, and then his fingers were in her hair and his mouth was on hers. Jack kissed her like he was home, like he was the man capable of taking all the pain away. She kissed him back, never wanting to let go of him again.
His hands went to the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, and then his mouth was back on hers, and his hands, large and warm, feasted on her bare skin. She leaned against the counter, needing something to hold her up, but then Jack lifted her and carried her to her bed. She knew that this time she slept with him nothing would be the same. There would be no getting rid of him. She was committing to starting over again with him.
“I’ve missed you so damn much, Lily,” he said, tugging off her jeans. “I’ve missed and I’ve needed you and I’ve wanted you so much.” He kissed his way from her lips down her torso until his head rested on her abdomen, his ear to her skin.
He stayed there for a long moment, and she held her breath, holding his head to her.
“We made a baby together, Lil,” he said, his voice filled with awe…and happiness. It wasn’t the voice of a guy that didn’t want to be saddled by an unexpected pregnancy. It was the sound of a man that desperately wanted their child. Tears stung her eyes as they lay together.
“This baby wasn’t an accident,” he said, kissing her stomach gently, making his way back up to her. He rested on his forearms on either side of her and looked her in the eye. The sheen in his eyes, the love in his eyes, took her breath away. “I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I can’t take away the hurt. But I can promise you that I will be the man you need me to be, for the rest of our lives, and I will be the father you need me to be to this baby and any others we have.”
Tears fell from her eyes, and he slowly lowered his head and kissed her deeply. It was better than any of her dreams. Her Jack was here, whole again.
…
Lily waved good-bye to the nurses at the desk and was almost out the door when Peggy called her. Lily turned to see her friend racing down the corridor. She had just finished a quick visit with her father but hadn’t run into Peggy. She really didn’t have the time today for chit-chat. They were less than a week away from opening and she had a To-Do list a mile long, including finding some temporary staff for the night.
“Hey,” Peggy said, breathless as she caught up to her.
“Hey, how are you? Do you mind if we walk and talk? I need to get back to the shop.”
Peggy waved her hand in front of her face and joined her. “No problem. I plan on being there, by the way.”
“Of course, you know I’d love that.”
“So I heard you and Jack are back together.”
Lily forced a smile. Small towns. If you were seen together, you were basically on your way down the aisle. “Well, we’re taking it one day at a time.”
“I’m so happy for you. There aren’t many men who would do what he did.”
Lily stared at her, not really getting what she meant. It didn’t look like she was referring to him taking off, because she was smiling. “Right…”
“I mean, to keep paying for your father, even though the two of you weren’t together.”
Lily’s stomach dropped and heat infused her body. What was she saying? Paying for her father? The nursing home. “What do you mean? My uncle has been paying for him,” she managed to choke out.
Peggy’s face turned red, and she quickly looked over her shoulder and then pulled Lily outside. “I, uh…oh my God, I’m going to be in so much trouble, Lil.”
The cold air felt good against her flushed face as she tried to process what Peggy was saying. “You can’t go back now, tell me.”
Peggy moaned into her hands. “I just assumed he would have told you by now. It wasn’t your uncle. It’s been Jack, right from day one, from that first payment you couldn’t make.”
Li
ly plopped herself down on the bench, the wind knocked out of her. “How is that possible?”
Peggy sat down beside her. “I don’t know how he knew. All I know is that his check arrives every month, almost a week before payment is due. It was supposed to be confidential… He swore Bill in accounting to not say a word. The only reason I know is because I had to fill in for him one day and I happened to be the one who opened the mail with the check. It had a sticky note attached and said something like, as per our agreement, please keep confidential.”
Lily fought tears as the enormity of what he’d done sank in. All these years. He’d kept tabs on her. He’d worked hard…when he’d said he’d worked that job for the money, he’d needed the money to help her and her father. He’d kept it all to himself. “Are you sure, Peggy?” But she already knew the answer, remembering their conversation that night about why he’d stayed away so long, he’d looked as though he’d been holding back.
“Oh I’m sure, because I asked Bill the next day. He confirmed that Jack had phoned in to make arrangements and that he’d made regular payments each month. He also swore me to secrecy. He was actually kind of mad at me, because apparently I was only supposed to answer the phone that day…not go through the mail,” she said with a sheepish smile.
Lily tried to smile.
“I…I thought now that you guys were back together he would have told you all this,” Peggy said, putting her hand on Lily’s shoulder.
Lily shook her head slowly, staring out at the snow-covered trees. But they weren’t completely back together, and Jack wouldn’t want her to know because he’d think she’d feel indebted to him. He never did anything for accolades. He did things with his heart. She’d been so hard on him… This morning when he’d left her place, he’d asked her to come to the ranch for dinner tonight. When she found out his parents and Gwen were going, she’d declined. It was self-preservation. She adored his family, but being at the ranch together would be like announcing to all of them that they were a couple again. It would also bring up the memories of when she had been their almost-daughter-in-law. She wasn’t ready for that…or she hadn’t been ready for that.
“I’m sorry, Peggy, I need to go.” She needed to find him. She slipped on her gloves, the cold finally registering.
“Please don’t say I told you,” Peggy said, standing.
Lily shook her head. “Never. Thank you,” she said, giving her a quick hug before running to her car.
Lily knew the way to the ranch by heart, having driven by it countless times with Jack and on her own the year after he left. After that, she’d made sure never to drive that direction out of town again. It still was the prettiest drive out of Shadow Creek. The roads became narrower, more rural, patches of forest on either side of the road. Old wooden fences lining the perimeter of farms here and there. Her heart raced as she approached the ranch, recognizing Jack’s truck parked on the circular drive in front of the house. The massive pine trees lined the drive and it felt as though the town was miles from here. She drew a shaky breath as she walked up to the front door.
The walkway had been shoveled, but there weren’t any other signs that the house was occupied. Her heart squeezed when she thought of how hard he’d been working…for them. She waited, but after a few minutes with no answer, she decided to try the barn. She wrapped her scarf more securely around her neck and drew her hat down farther as the frigid wind whipped around her. Her boots sank into the deep snow as she walked toward the barn. She could hear the sound of a hammer. The barn was a faded red, the paint chipped and peeling from years of neglect, but it still stood out brightly against the white snow and the pine trees behind it.
She paused for a second when she reached the barn doors and then slowly pushed one of the large doors open. The musty smell of hay and wet wood clung to the air as she entered. She saw Jack hunched over in the far corner, busy at work.
“Hi,” she called out.
He whipped around and stood. The pleasure on his face when he saw her made her heart squeeze, and she tried not to cry when she thought of his secret. “Hey, sweetheart, I didn’t think you were coming out here,” he said, walking forward.
“Jack,” she said, hating that tears were already collecting.
He frowned, crouching down slightly so he could look in her eyes. “Are you all right? The baby?”
She nodded, waving her hand in front of her face and trying to keep it all together. “You paid? All these years? You paid and never told me?”
He ran his hands through his hair. “I didn’t think you’d take the money if you knew it was from me.”
She looked up at the peaked ceiling for a moment, then back at him. “Why would you do that?”
“I told you, I never left because of you. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and even though I know it wasn’t the right thing to do, at the time, I felt it was. I was trying to save you from what I was going through. You and your father were family to me. Always. I wasn’t going to have you go through that alone. I wasn’t going to let him not get the care he needed. Lily, I would do anything for you.”
She walked forward, reining in the tears, a futile endeavor as she wrapped her arms around him. He folded her up against him and kissed the top of her head.
“Thank you,” she whispered against his chest. She pulled back slightly to look up at him, and his eyes glittered with that emotion that always seemed to melt her heart. He was big and he was tough, and he was the most compassionate man she’d ever known. He pulled off his gloves and shoved them into the pocket of his jacket before threading his fingers through her hair and leaning down to kiss her. Tenderly at first, kissing her tears, then making his way to her mouth. It was slow and sweet until it turned passionate and desperate. His hands roamed over her body and she whimpered against his mouth as his hands went under her sweater to her breasts.
“I can’t stand up,” she whispered.
He gave a grunt of understanding and then lifted her so that she straddled his waist and carried her over to the far side of the barn. He walked slowly over the uneven floor planks but didn’t stop kissing her. “I got you,” he whispered as he kissed her. He propped her against the wall he’d been working on, his hands touching her everywhere. “You cold?” he whispered against the underside of her ear.
She shook her head.
“You remember saying you wanted me to make love to you in this barn?”
She clutched his shoulders and smiled against his mouth. “I was thinking the same thing.”
“At least we don’t have to worry about birth control.”
She laughed as he kissed her.
Chapter Ten
“Are we ordering Luigi’s for dinner?” Lily asked him.
He shot her a grin that made her stomach flip-flop in a delicious way that had nothing to do with the thought of more olive pizza. He pulled out a bunch of ingredients from the fridge and set them down on the counter. “Nope. I can’t serve my mother pizza.”
“No, I guess not,” Lily said, taking a sip of the Perrier he’d poured for her. She had casually mentioned to him the other day that she was now craving that, and he’d stocked his fridge with it. He’d always done little things like this.
“Still impressive. I didn’t know…you had acquired culinary skills,” she said, trying not to sound insulting. “I mean, beyond the breakfast ensemble you put together.”
He gave a low chuckle while he tossed some salad in a bowl and then crossed the small kitchen to set the temperature on the oven. He moved around the kitchen with a familiarity that was a surprise to her. Many of the cupboards were stocked with dishes and glasses and food. Even though the kitchen was dated, it was bright and cheerful and large enough to have a center island.
The house needed a lot of work, but it had great bones. The floor plan was open and there were large windows in key places. “I had to learn how to cook. I didn’t do it often, though. Just Sundays when I wanted a decent meal. The other nights of t
he week I was too damn tired to cook. Cheap microwave dinners were my best friend.”
Her heart squeezed. Cheap because he’d been saving money for her. She put down her glass and walked over to stand beside him. “I’m sorry.”
He put down the knife he was using to slice potatoes and turned to her. “I’d do it all over again if I had to. I have a lot of regrets, but helping you isn’t one of them.”
“I’m never going to be able to make it up to.”
“You don’t need to.”
“Okay, let me help then.”
“Nope, I’ve got this all taken care of.” He placed two roast chickens in the oven alongside a roasting pan filled with green beans. “I’m not really doing any cooking anyway. More like reheating. We’re in for a crowd. I ended up inviting Chase, Julia, and Maggie, too.”
Lily smiled. “This sounds like it’ll be fun! Have they been to the house yet?”
He shook his head as he took out a stack of dishes. “Nope.”
“Here, let me at least set the table,” she said, walking over to take the white dishes off the counter. “I like your tableware selection.”
He cleared his throat and she could have sworn his cheeks went slightly red. “Chase recommended a place to order some.”
She began arranging the plates at each spot at the table. “I didn’t know Chase was into…dishes.”
He gave an adorable snort. “He’s not. He bought a crap-load of stuff online before Christmas to impress Julia.”
She laughed out loud and turned around to look at him. He was now leaning against the counter, watching her, smiling back at her. She admired his face for what had to be the hundredth time since she’d shaved off his beard the other night. Her boyish Jack was gone; there was no denying that the Jack in front of her was all man now. He’d always been a gorgeous man, but now there was a delicious edge to him. A power. He was hard lines and muscles and…
“Don’t look at me like that, Lil,” he said, his voice deliciously low. Her toes curled and a shiver ran through her.
The Baby Bombshell (Shadow Creek, Montana) Page 10
