Violet Path

by Olivia Lodise

  “Pair up and start dueling,” Maxime spoke without looking at us. The cold day had just frozen everything. I shivered.

  Even though it was cold, I was actually looking forward to the distraction of class. Unfortunately, Maxime had paired me up with T.J. I knew he hated me, and I would rather freeze to death than have to deal with him, but I didn’t bother arguing for another partner and welcomed the diversion. I won my sparring bout with T.J., and it had sparked a shy sense of pride. With the final blow, his eyes had widened as he hit the cold ground. I had stood over him, forcing a slight degree of respect. Maxime had given me a discrete nod of approval and congratulations when T.J. did his push-ups.

  Lunch went by very slowly, and the bitter, cold wind was impossible to escape. My group and I quickly cleared off the table to go hunting for dinner. Nick led us straight to a deer, and Sam caught two boars while Timothy shot a hare. I hated watching them kill and drag the animals—it reminded me of Marc . . . all that death.

  I returned to my cabin, lay on my bed, and curled under the covers to try to stay warm, although it didn’t seem to be working. I tried to clear my mind and catch up on some sleep, but that also seemed impossible. All I could think about was Matthew, Maxime, David, and Marc. Someone knocked, and I greeted Sam at the door.

  “Hey, Alex! We’ll be collecting our group’s armor soon, so make the final touches A.S.A.P.,” Sam said.

  “I’m sorry; I don’t understand,” I confessed.

  “We normally make our own armor, but I think Andrew made yours and Timothy made Nick’s last night. I’ll talk to Andrew, so don’t worry about it,” Sam said in a kind voice. He actually welcomed and accepted me, unlike the rest of the camp.

  “Thanks,” I replied, feeling ignorant and stupid. I was still annoyed that Maxime did almost everything for me, always hovering over me as if I were a newly hatched chick walking along the nest’s edge.

  “And congrats for beating T.J. today. I heard he took a really good beating. He deserved it.” Sam tapped me on the shoulder before leaving.

  Dinner came, but I wasn’t very hungry. I sat next to Maxime, who was still quiet. We were given black bags full of sweaters and blankets before we left. We ate slowly, taking in all the warmth from the hot soup, and he walked me back to my cabin to get my staff when everyone left to sleep.

  We talked a lot about what we liked and disliked as we went to the clearing in the woods. The more I listened to him, the more I realized how much I enjoyed hearing his voice. It wasn’t particularly deep, but it was clear and light, warm and reassuring. His sentences were melodic, and he laughed from his heart.

  Maxime disliked popcorn and marble floors, but he really liked apple pie and the color blue. We laughed as we exchanged our likes and dislikes; it was like uncovering a new layer of depth to his personality, revealing more of him. I was starting to understand his mind. I loved that I could act my age around him and he didn’t judge me for being a teenager. He even seemed to relax and joke around. I sensed that he needed those moments of just letting go as much as I did.

  We arrived at the clearing and got into our fighting positions. He wanted me to be more aware of my surroundings so I could avoid being tripped and wouldn’t be backed up into trees.

  As we fought, he asked me what was on my left, right, and behind me to see if I was paying attention. It slowly made sense, until Maxime stepped it up a notch and started to move faster with turns and rolls.

  Every move had to be automatic so that I could focus and analyze the situation. Sometimes I would block his staff with mine, but other times I was being manipulated into walking into a ditch. I tried to remember which tree was where, but couldn’t. I was being overwhelmed.

  Suddenly, he spun around and was about to strike me when I tripped over a root. He fell on top of me, off balance, and rolled onto his back. We lay there, laughing.

  Our sparring always ended with me tripping.

  We caught our breath, and he helped me up. I was about to thank him, but he pushed me away. Suddenly, I wasn’t laughing anymore. Out of nowhere, a black dart hit his wooden staff and his smile faded.

  “They’re gone,” he said softly as he pulled the dart out of his staff.

  “Who? And how did you know?” I took a shy step toward him.

  “A used-to-be ally. I heard them. Let’s go.”

  We quickly walked back to camp. I was worried, but not afraid with him by my side.

  When we reached my cabin he said, “Get your towel.”

  I looked at him, perplexed.

  “Listen . . . I have to leave The Shadows in the next ten minutes, so would you . . . do you mind if I shower at the same time as you? I swear I’ll be quick, and I completely understand if you say no, but I thought it was worth asking. It’s just that—”

  “That’s fine,” I interrupted. I did my best not to laugh, finding his discomfort amusing.

  As he opened the door to the shower cabin for me, he told me his plan, “I’ll wait for you outside until you’re in the shower. Tell me when I can come in.”

  I hadn’t known him for very long, and I trusted him, but there was no getting around the awkwardness. I quickly turned on the water, undressed, and stood under the warm stream. I called for Maxime to come in and heard him enter, turn his shower on, put his bag down, and step into the waterfall.

  I cleaned very quickly and turned the water off. “I’m getting out,” I told him, and he acknowledged my warning. I crept out, dried off, and started to get dressed. I could see his silhouette through his shower curtain. He was letting the water run down his neck, onto his back, and accumulate by his feet as he leaned his hands against the wall. He looked relaxed and tense at the same time. It was elegant. I turned away, afraid that I would get caught.

  I quickly wrapped my clean wound dressing around my chest. As I grabbed my shirt, I told him I was ready and would wait for him outside.

  “Stay inside; it’s too dangerous,” he quickly scolded me for my foolishness.

  “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

  “You’ll get sick from the cold if you manage to stay out of trouble. Just stay here, please,” he said in a pleading tone. Maxime kept looking out for me, and I felt terrible making his job more difficult by putting up a fight.

  I stood by the door, facing the wall, as he got dressed. I heard him walk up behind me, but I didn’t turn around. His footsteps were lighter than before. I felt his hand slowly rest on my shoulder; it was warm and comforting.

  “Thank you. Let’s go,” he whispered into my ear. I felt his hand fall from my shoulder, and I turned around. He was wearing a black vest and pants with black gloves. His hair was nicely combed to the side. He had a beautiful physique, with his lean musculature and elegant stance. He looked very handsome, as if he was ready to go to a high-class party, but I kept my compliments to myself. His blue eyes shocked me—so electric blue—they stood out like a lone star in the night.

  “I’m sorry to have to bother you again, Alex, but could you please drop my bag off in my cabin? I’m already running late.”

  “Where are you going exactly?” I was aware he wouldn’t tell me, or at least not say much, but I was too curious to remain quiet, especially because he had dressed for the occasion.

  “Just a meeting with other community leaders.”

  “At this hour?”

  “Yes, especially after what happened during your lesson. It can’t wait. It’s complicated, but you shouldn’t worry about it. As soon as I can release information, I’ll let you in on what’s going on.” He flashed me a soft, humorous smile. I nodded as I blushed. “You know your way back, right?” I nodded again and shot him an I’m not that stupid look. It was practically a straight walk from the showers to my cabin.

  “You need to be extremely cautious. No one can see you, understood? I mean it. It’s not just precaution. Consider this an order for you to actually be careful. Take it seriously. I won’t be able to walk you back.”

  “D
on’t worry; I get it. Really, I do.” I did my best to reassure him.

  “And if anyone asks you what you were doing up so late, just tell them that I had asked you to do me a favor; it’s partially true. So could you please drop this off for me?”

  I couldn’t say “no” to him. I couldn’t formulate words when his deep, liquid-blue eyes bore into mine, so I simply nodded and walked out with him. He handed me his black bag and got onto his hover-board.

  “Thank you very much, and please be very careful on your way back,” said Maxime, overly enunciating the last phrase as he majestically took off into the dark woods.

  I didn’t know what to think. I felt attached to him, but he was my instructor. It didn’t make sense; nothing made any sense. There was warmth inside me when he was around, and a fire in my heart that blazed like the sun. He made my heart race and my blood rush. Maxime connected with me and seemed to relate to me. I couldn’t understand what I was feeling, but I had to suppress it.

  I started to head back to The Shadows. Everything was perfectly silent and still. I opened the door to Maxime’s dark and empty cabin and left his bag on his desk.

  It was a cold night and every noise was amplified by the obscurity. I wasn’t really afraid of getting into trouble, but I still felt uneasy. A thin mist swallowed every star in the sky, one by one. A faint sigh was stolen from me when I reached my cabin without running into any turmoil.

  I sat on my bed, opened the bag I had received at dinner, and pulled out two extra covers, knee-high boots, a sweater, and a body-warmer. I left the coat and thick socks untouched.

  I wrapped the body-warmer around my neck, feeling the warmth seep into my skin. I set my new boots by my bed for the following morning. I then crawled into bed and instantly fell asleep, wondering where Maxime had gone and why.

  Chapter 13

  Marc’s funeral would be in a couple of hours. Maxime had made the announcement over breakfast. He had also said that David would be back at The Shadows that night. The day was heavy, dark, and cold. My heart felt chained down, as if a massive cannonball had been strung around it.

  It was bitterly cold, but as soon as we started training, the sweat was pouring down my face. I had battled with Sean and Paolo with staffs, and Maxime taught us how to be aware of our surroundings when we fought. We focused on two against one, and I just barely pulled through. My mind was elsewhere, floating between the guilt of Marc’s passing and the fear from Matthew. Maxime still refused to tell me where he had been the previous night.

  As we cleared away for lunch, Maxime walked with me back to The Shadows.

  “We usually wear the uniform I was wearing last night for funerals, but you don’t have one yet. Your armor is very noticeable, so you can simply wear what you have on now. And we’ll be riding our horses to the cemetery,” Maxime said.

  I was going to be the odd one out again, and I was not getting used to it. I was sad about Marc, but excited about riding Storm, which only made me feel more shame.

  “Great job in class by the way. You’re starting to catch on quickly,” he said.

  I thanked him, but didn’t appreciate the encouragement as he always defeated me in a matter of seconds. No matter how sincere he was, his apologies weren’t taken easily.

  “I’m truly sorry, but I have to leave early tonight, and I’ll be gone for the next couple of nights. Do you mind if we finish off like last night?” He was avoiding eye contact again, but so was I. I think we both blushed.

  “No problem, but if you don’t mind me asking, where do you go so late? Don’t you ever sleep?” I watched my shoes crush the frozen leaves under my feet. I realized I practically obeyed his every word, but deep inside I wanted to do whatever he asked. I just wanted to fit in and belong. There was a desolate desire of him liking me, and the easiest way to gain his acceptance was to please him by doing what he asked. In a strange way, I almost liked being loyal to him. I had been given the choice to support him in the war, not Matthew, so following him simply felt right. I was starting to understand him, but he hid so much from everyone, and it always seemed like there was more to what he said. I wanted to know why he was so alone and where he went off to in the middle of the night dressed so formally.

  “I have meetings with another leader of another group that’s almost like The Shadows, only they wouldn’t think twice before killing anyone from Tamizeh, especially Matthew,” he answered.

  “And you would hesitate to kill Matthew?” I asked frankly as if Matthew’s life was worthless.

  His eyes turned black as coal. It scared me, so I turned to watch my steps again.

  “I don’t know,” he finally answered.

  I wasn’t sure how to take his answer, but I didn’t question him any further. His eyes quickly changed color, and he was smiling again. He placed his hand against my cheek; I felt his warmth as he ran his thumb over my sore eyebrow.

  “You should be more careful,” he said. “Sparring in class is for you to learn, not get beat up. No one should be drawing blood.” He gently wiped the blood from my brow, then smeared it between his fingers. He turned and kept walking.

  His warm, soft touch and aquatic, blue eyes were engraved in my mind.

  Maybe I did have a weakness for him, but I couldn’t. He was my mentor, teacher, and leader, and I was supposed to be a boy. I had practically just met him, yet it felt as if I had known him for a long time. I watched him walk away and promised to never reveal my heart’s emotions, not even to myself.

  I waited for him to be out of my sight before continuing my cold walk to lunch. I was one of the last people to sit at the table. Having felt all giddy from Maxime’s touch, I put in more effort to fit in as a guy. I slouched, but kept a wide stance as I walked and clenched my jaw firmly. My heart raced, knowing that I wasn’t like them, especially when I tried to lower my voice and failed. Everyone was already eating, so I unwillingly sat next to T.J. We gladly ignored each other as we ate in silence, remembering Marc’s absence.

  Every spoonful of soup slowly flowed down my throat, warming my body and organs. I wasn’t cold anymore until a slight breeze brushed against my neck. Suddenly, T.J. lifted his arm and spilled my soup in my lap. I jumped up, my skin scorching and burning. Everyone froze and stared at me. Fire lit up my cheeks, and I wanted to vanish. I glared at T.J., and he smiled. “Sorry,” he said sarcastically.

  “Come, Alex, I have an extra set of clothes,” said Maxime as he got up from his seat. I followed him to his cabin in silence, my face red and hung down with embarrassment.

  “I’ll hopefully get you another uniform, but for now we’ll do with what we have. You didn’t get a second set, did you?” he said in an irritated tone.

  “No,” I muttered, “but I have what I was wearing when I first got here.”

  “You can’t wear clothes from Tamizeh! What are you thinking?”

  I remained quiet and just followed him into his cabin.

  He quickly pulled off his thick sweater and shirt and handed them to me, then turned around. “Here, put these on,” he said in an annoyed tone.

  I felt segregated, as if even he was embarrassed by me. I wanted to defend myself and tell him that T.J. had spilled the soup, but I didn’t. I was almost certain that he would simply see it as an excuse or desperate attempt to redeem myself, and he was already frustrated and probably didn’t want to listen to any complaints about me not getting along with another soldier.

  Awkwardly, I tugged his shirt and sweater over my head, trying to make them fit. They were really big and made me feel tiny. I rolled the sleeves up, but they kept falling down to my knees.

  As Maxime buttoned the last two buttons of his collar, he smiled and started to laugh. “It’s definitely not your size, but it’ll have to do. Here,” he said as he took his belt off. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I could smell his delicate scent of pinecones and honeysuckles. He pulled the belt around me and tied it. Then he tugged on the shirt and sweater and took a couple of steps back.r />
  “It doesn’t look too bad,” he laughed.

  “Thank you,” I replied softly. He asked me for my dirty clothes and told me that he would have them cleaned. As I handed them to him, I felt like a child who needed to be dressed and taken care of. He then told me to get my horse and wait for the rest of The Shadows by the edge of the camp. I nodded and thanked him on my way out.

  The last thing he had told me before lunch was to be careful, and I hadn’t been able to follow that order for more than ten minutes. I was pathetic.

  I walked into the forest and whistled the tune to call Storm. She came quickly, as though she had been nearby, waiting for me. She had a shiny, black saddle on her back and metal stirrups with black leather reins.

  I stroked her from her eyes to the soft, cushiony part of her nose. I could feel her nostrils flare as she breathed calmly. At least she accepted me.

  I put my right foot in the stirrup as I held onto her thick, black mane. I quickly pushed my weight onto Storm’s back and swung my leg over to put my foot into the other stirrup. I pushed up my sleeves and took the reins. I smelled Maxime’s scent in the air and closed my eyes. I quickly opened them again when I heard someone whistle a tune, then another, and another. People started to show up in small groups. They were all wearing the same black uniform like Maxime’s.

  Nick was leading my group on a dark, chocolate stallion. He rode to me with great control.“Next time T.J. gives you a hard time, tell us and we’ll knock some sense into him. After all, you’re one of us,” he said as his eyes roamed around, making sure no one else was listening.

  I thanked him and found a spot in my group’s line. A streak of warmth and energy streamed down my back and trickled into my heart, making it swell with pride. I had never heard such welcoming words. I wasn’t just another soldier, but one from a tight unit. I remembered my high school and how I had always been the odd one out. H.S.H.S. hadn’t been any better, and then The Shadows had been the same: surviving on my own and relying on myself. Now I had a team, and I could count on them when I was in trouble. And I had Maxime. I was no longer alone. For the first time in my life, I truly felt like part of the group, and I couldn’t stop smiling.