Violet Path

by Olivia Lodise

  “Blue,” I mumbled.

  He took a step back. “Please don’t go,” he repeated.

  My eyes were glued to his. He made my heart beat. He was like a bright, warm flame in the middle of darkness; I would always be drawn back to it. I couldn’t leave, but I couldn’t just give in to hurting him.“Why aren’t your eyes black?” I asked.

  “Because they’re blue.”

  “What does that mean?” I was still crying.

  “You tell me.” He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, reassuring my stay. My knees went weak as I absorbed his embrace.

  “I don’t know. David didn’t tell me,” I sobbed.

  “I don’t think he even knows the answer. Tell me when you figure it out,” he whispered softly, comforting me.

  I buried my face in his chest as tears flowed down my cheeks and wet his shirt. His large, warm hands cradled me, protected me, and comforted me. I could feel his heart beating slowly. He rested his chin on top of my head. I loved him. I didn’t want to move. I wished the world would freeze, that time would stand still, that he would hold me forever.

  “You fought very well.”

  “Thank you.” I kept my eyes shut, holding onto the moment.

  “You’re upset because you lost?”

  I nodded. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

  “Anton is the leader of Jarva and has been for over thirty years.”

  “What’s your point?”

  “You should be proud. He doesn’t lose.”

  “I should be proud that I lost to an old man?” I hadn’t meant to be insulting or rude; it had just slipped out.

  “Does age matter?”

  “I guess not.”

  “Don’t guess, know. Age doesn’t matter; otherwise, we wouldn’t be here.”

  “And Ryan?”

  “That’s a different story. My point is that it was an unfair fight. Anton had more experience and wasn’t supposed to compete in the tournament. He had been watching you, was impressed, found your faults, and asked if he could challenge you. I said that it was up to you. David said that it would have to count, so it did.”

  I had nothing to say. I couldn’t care less about the tournament; all I cared about was Maxime.

  “We should head back or David will start to worry.” Maxime slowly let me go.

  My heart sunk again. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted him to stay with me, alone, but together. The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to be with him. He dropped his hands to his side, pulling the warmth away from me. I could spend an eternity looking into his soul and not grow tired of it. I gazed into his azure eyes, searching for the end of the universe.

  Chapter 23

  I decided to stay.

  As selfish as it was, I just couldn’t leave Maxime. But last night opened my eyes, and if I needed to leave at any moment, I was a little more prepared, brokenhearted or not.

  Maxime had arrived at my cabin. I hadn’t seen him all day, figuring that he was resting. When I heard the knock on my door, I was just getting ready for bed, but my heart skipped a beat. I knew it was him.

  “I have a surprise for you,” he said with a smile. His blue eyes twinkled in the moonlight. “Follow me.”

  We arrived at the lake. The stars reflected on the cold water’s surface like glimmering fairies dancing. The silver moon was like a drop of pure magic elixir in the middle of the black lake. It was a sweet fairy tale.

  “Here.” Maxime handed me a body-warmer even though I already had one. “The water is cold. Trust me, you’ll need both.” He then took out two small blue pills and handed me one of them. “This will allow you to breathe under water for up to three hours, but you must go under water fifteen minutes after taking it. The first breath burns your lungs a bit, but it’s not too bad. It allows the oxygen molecules to pass through the alveoli membrane as if it were gas. It’s weird at first.”

  “We’re swimming for three hours?” I asked.

  “Probably not three hours. I suggest taking your boots off, but the rest is up to you,” Maxime said. He took his shirt off and hung it on a tree branch. I was awestruck by his muscular physique. I took off my boots. I laid my shirt by Maxime’s. I was already freezing with only the wound dressing and pants.

  “Ready?” he asked. I nodded.

  We swallowed our pill at the same time. My heart skipped a beat as he picked me up and dove into the cool water. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kept my eyes shut as he swam with me in his arms. To my surprise, the water wasn’t too cold.

  The pill started kicking in. My lungs tightened and my heart raced, demanding for oxygen, but my body refused the air. I started to panic.

  “Try to relax,” Maxime said. “On the count of three, we’re going to go under the water. Just take long, slow breaths. Ready?”

  I nodded, too afraid to speak.

  “One, two, three . . .”

  The freezing water enveloped me, and the world went silent. My cheeks bulged with air, instinctively trying to hold my breath. But I couldn’t hold it any longer. I started to flail, but Maxime tightened his grip. I needed to breathe. I opened my mouth . . .

  The water burned my throat but cooled my body. I felt the fresh oxygen disperse inside me like a drop of ink in a glass of creamy milk. I started to breathe normally, as if my lungs were just taking in air.

  I opened my eyes. I couldn’t see the bottom of the deep lake or an inch in front of my face. I was in pure blackness, and I started to panic, tightening my grip around Maxime. I searched for his face in the dark. And then I could slowly make out his deep, blue eyes. He smiled and then let me go.

  No, Maxime, please don’t let me go. Please don’t leave me.

  He pointed upward, and we swam to the surface.

  As we emerged from the water, I gasped for air, panting and heaving, but calmed down after a moment. I was okay. I was alive.

  “You’re scared,” Maxime stated bluntly.

  I was ashamed and embarrassed and avoided his eyes. He grabbed my hand. “Don’t be afraid. We’ll swim to the lake’s floor, and you will see that it is harmless.” I nodded. I was determined to do this, to conquer a fear with him.

  We dove back down, and my first breath of water was actually refreshing. I didn’t feel afraid as my eyes adjusted. I knew Maxime wouldn’t put me in harm’s way.

  The deeper we swam, the darker it became. I held Maxime’s hand tightly, not wanting him to leave my side. He stopped, and I could barely make out his silhouette. He ran his hand along my fingers, looking for something. He found my anti-gravity ring, turned it on, and everything became clear. Even he glowed. We kept swimming until we reached the lake’s floor.

  The bottom of the lake was made up of huge rocks that covered the whole ground like an infestation, but they were beautiful. They curved in every way possible with every edge as sharp as a butcher’s knife. They created shadows, reflecting my ring’s light. Maxime smiled again and pointed upward. We swam toward the shore.

  “So what do you think?” Maxime’s radiant smile lit the world for me.

  “It’s amazing!” I honestly couldn’t find the right words.

  “But dangerous. You do not want to touch those rocks. If anyone were to fall in and hit them, they would be dead. Just be careful.” He took my hand and turned off my ring. The moon shone on his face, making him look like a spirit. His face was so close, I could feel his breath. I closed my eyes as my heart raced. His curls skimmed my forehead as his soft hands moved to my waist. It was the moment I had been waiting for, dreaming of, the kiss I so desired . . .

  His wet lips touched my ear. “You’re too innocent.” He backed away.

  My heart dropped. “Innocent?” I repeated confused.

  “Yes.” Maxime’s voice turned playful and a huge grin spread on his face.

  “And how—”

  My question was cut off as he quickly picked me up and threw me back into the water. He swam over to me. I sprayed him with a small wave, and we laughe
d, splashing each other with water. We dove under, trying to escape each other’s grasp. I whirled around, but I couldn’t see him anymore. Then something grabbed me from behind, and I stupidly elbowed Maxime in the stomach. He was bent over when I turned around.

  “I’m so sorry!” I felt terrible, but he was laughing.

  “You’re sorry? Remind me never to sneak up on you ever again. It never ends well for me.”

  Suddenly, we heard something in the distance—a hover-board’s hum surfing the lake, coming toward us.

  “Andrew?” a familiar voice called out. We were in trouble. “Alex?” David said, his voice laced with rage. “I don’t even know what to say.”

  “Then don’t say anything,” Maxime said casually.

  David glared at his brother. “Out! Now!” he ordered and headed toward the shore. Maxime and I stayed still for a moment longer with heavy hearts.

  “I’m sorry,” Maxime’s voice was drowned with regret.

  We swam to meet David against our will. As soon as we stepped onto the ground, David scolded us.“What were you thinking? Do you have any idea what time it is?” His voice was worse than a gunshot. I was ordered to change in my cabin and then go to Maxime’s.

  “Why?” Maxime protested.

  “Because neither of you seem to think before you act!”

  “What does that have to do with her?”

  “Him!” David corrected. Maxime tried to speak, but David wasn’t allowing it. “Get out and get dressed!”

  I reached over and grabbed the towel, then stepped from the lake. The cold air bit at my exposed skin and the frozen ground burned my feet. I grabbed my pile of clothing and ran a few feet to hide behind a tree. As I quickly dressed, my teeth chattered and my body wouldn’t stop shivering. Two body-warmers weren’t enough to protect me from the winter. My wet hair dripped onto my back like balls of ice. I peeked my head around to better listen to their conversation.

  “And what if someone else had seen or heard you? Did you think of that?” David barked.

  “Then we wouldn’t be disputing this stupid subject!” Maxime answered.

  “You’re right, ’cause Alex would probably be hung!”

  “Don’t say that!”

  “Why not? You actually think she can stay here?”

  “She doesn’t have another option at the moment.”

  “Maria is one step up the ladder.”

  “No. Then everyone would know who she is!”

  “And you getting her pregnant wouldn’t give her gender away?”

  “What?” Maxime screamed. “Do you hear what you’re saying?”

  “Do you think before you act? What were you doing in the lake?”

  “Swimming.”

  “She was shirtless!”

  “And you swim with a shirt on?”

  “I’m a man! She’s not.”

  “You keep saying that she needs to act like one.”

  “She should, but tonight went too far.”

  “Maybe so, but I don’t regret it.”

  “Well, you should! May I remind you that you were about to kill her a couple of hours ago?”

  “But I didn’t!”

  “So this is all just a game to you? Do you think you can rebel against the program by spending time with her? And in doing so, you’re preparing yourself against Matthew? You know you can’t kill him! Look at your hand; he made that clear.”

  “I threw a dagger at him!”

  “When?”

  “Never mind.”

  “Maxime!”

  “What you do want from me? No matter what I do, you’re always mad at me! What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do?”

  “Your job!”

  “And what’s that? We both know that I am no good at it.”

  “Come on . . . you know very well that no one could take your place.”

  “You could. Why don’t you? Or Sam, Nick, Paul, Maurice, or Jake?”

  “Listen to yourself! No one could replace you!”

  “Maybe I should turn myself in to Matthew.”

  “Are you out of your mind? That’s suicide!”

  “One death for many.”

  “You’re the one keeping Matthew from destroying everything.”

  “I’m the cause.”

  I had heard enough.“You can’t!” I screamed.

  David and Maxime stood shocked, as if they’d forgotten that I was there. But I had overheard, and there was no turning back.

  I took a step forward. “Look, Matthew is mad because I refused to lead his army. If anyone should be turned in, it should be me. I could lead the army to mutiny.”

  Maxime ran up to me, terror in his eyes. “You’re too innocent. You don’t understand what’s going on,” he told me sweetly. “I’m sorry.”

  As I stood there in the bitter cold, I realized that this . . . all of this . . . was way bigger than I had ever imagined. There was an entire other side to the War I didn’t know about. I hadn’t known about the programing of people as a form of weaponry, and I couldn’t even guess how Maxime knew so much about Tamizeh. It was all a huge puzzle, and I was only a piece of it.

  Chapter 24

  Maxime’s birthday.

  The morning passed, and I didn’t see him. He was absent from lunch, and by the time dinner rolled around, I’d realized that I wouldn’t see him today. But I understood.

  As the days passed, snow covered the ground and the lake started to freeze. We kept our hover-boards off and used them to snowboard as the flakes accumulated under our cold feet. I worried for Maxime because I would find his foot imprints in front of my cabin almost every morning. He would sit on the cold snow for hours. If his prints were absent, David’s would appear beneath the tree across from my cabin. They were my guardians.

  Showering wasn’t too big of a problem, because I showered alone when everyone slept. That was the only time I really spent with Maxime, but we barely talked.

  As the days passed, Maxime and I talked more, and then we talked so much it was as if nothing had happened. I was surprised we hadn’t run out of topics to discuss. Although sparring with him became rarer, he taught me more than I could have ever imagined. His eyes were almost always blue, and I avoided topics that would darken them. I still craved his warmth, wishing to taste his lips.

  Finally, Christmas was near. We were going to have a feast on Christmas Eve, huddled around the campfire, and then we were going to Maria on Christmas Day. I was excited. I had been in The Shadows for almost eight months, and it would be good to visit another city. All of the soldiers were supposed to wear black suits, and some of the soldiers had traveled to Maria beforehand to pick theirs up.

  There was going to be a dance. All of the soldiers would escort a girl around the campfire and dance. I was not looking forward to it. It was hard enough trying to pretend to be a boy, but now I had to dance with a girl. I wasn’t the strongest dancer, but I was more concerned that someone would figure out my identity, that I would be called out as a fraud. Girls had different intuitions, and I worried that a girl would be able to spot me for who I was.

  As the feast drew nearer, rumors started to spread and stories were shared. I had heard more than once that David spent all of his time with Megan, and that Maxime only danced with one girl, Anais. Anais sounded flawless. She was nineteen and had dark, blonde, wavy hair and hazel eyes with a dash of emerald that opened to a tempest to contrast her flowering smile. I had been told numerous times how her figure was perfect and her bone structure sublime. She was the perfect match for Maxime, but I couldn’t stand hearing how they would dance all night together. I was jealous and felt guilt for not wanting him to be happy with her.

  “Alex, you’ll be picking up your black uniform tomorrow,” David told me on my way to breakfast one morning.

  David called our attention, “As you are all aware, Christmas is drawing near.” There was a long pause before he continued. “If you do not have a black, formal suit, please raise your hand. T
his includes those who have one, but need a new one.”

  I raised my hand and glanced around. I had expected more, but we were only fifty.

  “If your hand is still raised, you will be going to Maria tomorrow to get your uniforms. You will leave immediately after breakfast, cross the lake by hover-board, and return for dinner. Lunch will be provided for you at Maria. Thank you.”

  I was excited. I was finally going to see Maria. I had heard so much about it that it sounded like a dream, with heated buildings and real furniture, with true technology and families who had jobs and ate a variety of foods. There were women and girls of all ages, and a woman, Charlotte, who was always aware of the latest fashion. Although I had never cared for fitting in the feminine world, I longed to at least live in it for some time. My expectations were high despite my fear.

  The rest of the day seemed to go by slowly. Classes were over, and Maxime was keeping his distance, but I wanted to fight. I needed to feel something from him, even if it was only in combat.

  I threw him a sword as he walked by, and he caught it.

  “Why are you throwing this at me?” Maxime questioned.

  “We’ve never really sparred with swords.” I smiled, hoping to convince him.

  “There’s a reason for that.”

  “And what’s that?”

  He was standing close to me—my face by his heart, his lips by my ear. “I can easily kill you with my bare hands. Why do you tempt me with a sharp, clean blade?” he whispered. His words were like a poisonous strawberry.

  “You wouldn’t.” I was faithful to him, completely and blindly. I wasn’t afraid of him.

  “You don’t know that. You trust me too much.”

  “You don’t trust yourself enough.”

  “The risk it too great.” He stepped back. His eyes were a navy blue.

  “How so?”

  “You’re too innocent. Just . . . be careful.”

  “You at least need to give me a valid excuse.”

  He hesitated and looked around. “Because your life is more valuable than any other, and I cannot be the one to take it.”