Summer of Love

by Sophie Pembroke

  Lily’s mother didn’t look convinced. ‘Well, you’ll have to wait. She’s not ready. And I still don’t understand why she couldn’t just drive us.’

  So apparently he was the chauffeur for the day. Well, if that was what it took to satisfy Evelyn, fine.

  She didn’t invite him in, Alex noticed, leaving him loitering on the doorstep as she wandered back into the lounge, but it didn’t matter. Moments later Lily appeared at the top of the stairs, dressed in a beige shift dress that faded against her skin, leaving her looking pale and wan, except for the scowl on her face.

  ‘You’re early,’ she said, tugging on her shoes as she made her way down the stairs.

  ‘So your mother tells me.’

  ‘She didn’t let you in?’ Lily grabbed a jacket from the end of the banister, throwing it over her arm. It matched the dress exactly.

  ‘I sort of got the impression I should stay here.’ Alex watched her put on a final layer of pale, honey coloured lipstick, and pull her hair out from her collar. ‘You look –’

  ‘Don’t bother,’ she interrupted, giving him a tight smile. ‘Mum chose my outfit. And my makeup, actually. And I barely slept last night. So don’t lie and tell me I look great.’

  Alex raised an eyebrow. ‘Okay then. You look like you let your mother decide who she wants you to be today.’ So much for Lily’s new found independence.

  ‘Pretty much. It’s payment for taking you as my not-a-date.’

  ‘I suppose you can’t win them all.’ He glanced down, and spotted a sign of Lily-ish rebellion that made him smile. Pale blue suede shoes with incredibly high heels, and tiny ribbons crisscrossing up the back, tying at the ankle.

  ‘She didn’t choose those shoes, though.’

  ‘No, she didn’t.’ Tucking her lipstick back into her clutch bag, Lily gave him a quick grin, then turned towards the back of the house. ‘Mum? I’ll just go and find her.’

  Watching her bustle off into the lounge, Alex took in the long, straight line of her back, the curve of her hips under the dress, and her long legs stretching into her heels. The colour might not be her best, but she still looked beautiful. He imagined she probably always would.

  But they were friends. They were only ever going to be friends.

  At least the dreadful dress Evelyn had made her wear might make it easier to remember that.

  * * * *

  Lily’s cousin, Beatrice, had never been one of her favourite people. Still, with five years and a couple of hours drive between them growing up, they hadn’t had to see a huge amount of each other. Especially since Evelyn had tried to avoid any family gatherings at all after Lily’s dad died. Why was that, Lily wondered? Evelyn had changed, the moment she became a widow. It wasn’t just the darker clothes or the grief. There was a hardness, a stony inner strength that had taken over her. She didn’t laugh or play the way she had before. Lily had waited and waited for Mum to return to herself, but she never had.

  Maybe she hadn’t wanted to be reminded of what she’d lost, by seeing too much of her late husband’s family. Lily could sort of understand that.

  To be honest, she wasn’t particularly relishing the prospect of Beatrice’s wedding herself.

  She’d seen the neighbours watching as Alex had helped Evelyn into the passenger seat that morning. Seen Mrs Jenkins across the way reaching for her phone, even as Lily had slammed the car door behind her. By the time they got back that evening, the whole town would know that she’d taken Alex to a family wedding in Edward’s place.

  No wonder Evelyn was in such a bad mood.

  But despite the gossip, Lily couldn’t help but be glad she’d decided to let him come. Apart from anything else, it meant he was the one who had to negotiate Manchester traffic to find the venue, a large country hotel on the far side of the city. And he’d even offered to drive back. Well, what he’d actually said was, ‘I’ll drive. I think you’ll need a drink.’

  She hadn’t bothered arguing.

  They’d made the journey mostly in silence, Alex jabbing buttons on the radio to find something soothing that no one would object to. Lily had settled into her seat and let her mind wander, eventually drifting off to dream about champagne glasses and diamond rings.

  She woke as Alex pulled into the drive of the hotel, a sweeping gravel stretch that led to a car park at the back. Grabbing her compact from her bag, Lily fixed her hair and makeup best as she could. She was already going to spend all day explaining Edward’s absence to her family while wearing a dress that made her look dull and uninteresting. At least her hair should be neat.

  But then Alex opened the door to let her out, giving her a private, wicked grin, and Lily realized that, actually, it didn’t matter what she was wearing, or if her lipstick had worn off. She was there with the best looking guy for miles around, even if he was just a friend. What did it matter what her family and their friends thought of her? She was going to have fun.

  ‘Evelyn! And little Lily. And this must be Edward?’ Aunt Hannah bustled towards them in the hotel foyer, arms wide, and Lily tried not to wince.

  Evelyn allowed her sister-in-law to wrap her chubby arms around her, but Lily couldn’t see any returned warmth in the embrace. When her aunt turned to her, Lily smiled brightly to try to make up.

  ‘Lovely to see you again,’ she said, pulling away. ‘And this is my friend Alex.’

  Alex stepped forward, charming smile in place, and shook Hannah’s hand, but Lily knew her aunt wasn’t paying attention. She was too busy glancing down at Lily’s left hand.

  ‘Not… Edward? I’m so sorry, I was sure that your fiancé’s name – ’

  ‘It was.’ The words came out tight, but Lily couldn’t help it. ‘We’re not… I’m afraid we’re not together any more. Alex is – ’

  ‘Just a friend,’ Alex finished. ‘And chauffeur for the day.’

  ‘I see,’ Hannah said, but the confusion in her eyes made it clear that she really didn’t. ‘I’m so sorry, Evelyn didn’t tell us, so the name cards and seating plans will all be wrong.’

  ‘Oh, don’t worry about a little thing like that,’ Alex said, his voice warm and reassuring. ‘I’m just delighted to be here on this day.’

  ‘And it’s lovely to have you,’ Hannah said, still looking confused.

  From the stairs came the familiar sound of Uncle Phillip’s bellow. ‘Little Lily Thomas! And this must be the famous Edward Evelyn can’t stop talking about when we call!’

  Lily sighed. ‘Not exactly,’ she said, preparing to explain again.

  Clearly, it was going to be a long day.

  Chapter Nine

  By the time they made it to the reception, Lily had explained – often in detail – the demise of her relationship to no less than eight over-interested relatives. With the addition of Evelyn elbowing her in the ribs and muttering, ‘This could have been you, you realise,’ halfway through the ceremony, Lily was about done with this wedding. Even Alex’s smile was starting to look a little wan.

  ‘How did your family never meet Edward? You were together, what – seven years?’ he asked as they escaped to the bar between the meal and the interminable disco. How long did they have to stay at that, anyway? Surely Mum would want to go home soon. This couldn’t be any more fun for her than Lily.

  Lily sighed. More explaining. ‘We don’t see a lot of Dad’s side of the family. Ever since he died… I don’t know. I think maybe Mum found it too painful, or something. So I’ve only seen them a couple of times since Edward and I got together and, well, he was busy. Working, usually. Same reason he missed Cora’s engagement party.’

  ‘That’s a shame.’ Alex handed a note over to the bartender in exchange for his juice and her glass of wine. ‘Not that I can talk, mind. I barely made it home for Christmas most years, when I was working away.’

  ‘But you’re back now,’ Lily said, nudging his shoulder with her own. It felt good to be talking about something that wasn’t her shambles of a love life. ‘Are you glad? Is it
everything you hoped it would be?’ Alex didn’t reply immediately, and Lily laughed. ‘We’re miles away from Felinfach here, Alex. You can say what you really think. I promise not to report back to the gossip tree.’

  Alex’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. ‘It’s not that. It’s… I am glad to be home. Very, in fact. But no, it’s not what I imagined, when I sat in my London flat, trying to picture it.’

  It wasn’t a personal attack, Lily told herself. There was absolutely no reason for her heart to sting at his words. ‘So what’s missing? No, don’t tell me. The wife you were looking for. The two-point-four children. That perfect married life.’

  ‘It’s not that.’ Alex shifted against the bar, turning to look more at her. ‘I think I thought, back in London, that I’d just be me in a new setting. But I’m not. Everything’s moved so fast here – getting the space at the Mill, setting up as a real photographer. I thought those things would take years to put in place. I feel like a whole new person back in Felinfach, someone I’ve never been before. And it’s wonderful.’

  ‘That’s nice,’ Lily said, trying not to be jealous. ‘Maybe that’s what I should have done – moved away and only come back when everyone had forgotten everything I did as a teenager.’

  ‘I’m not sure they’ve forgotten my antics exactly,’ Alex said, a wry smile on his lips. ‘Mrs Fountain at the paper shop was watching me very closely when I popped in the other day. Think she thought I was going to try and pinch some of the pick ‘n’ mix.’

  ‘But they treat you like an adult. They accept that you’re someone new, now.’ So why couldn’t they do that for her? She was twenty-six, for heaven’s sake.

  ‘Are you so sure they don’t do the same for you?’ Alex asked, eyebrows raised. ‘Seems to me, everyone who has mentioned you to me has talked about how you’ve built this life for yourself, with Tiger Lily, and the Mill. Mostly they seem to be warning me not to screw it up for you.’

  ‘They said that?’ Lily shook her head. ‘But it was all based on me being with Edward. Now it’s just me again, they’re convinced I’m going to screw it up. Probably by sleeping with you.’

  Alex looked away. ‘Then we’ll just have to make sure you don’t do that, won’t we?’

  ‘I think we can just about manage that,’ Lily tried to joke, but her mouth was dry when she spoke.

  It was almost a relief to spot the bride heading their way. Beatrice’s dress was of the flouncy, frilly sort, spreading out for meters around her, making it impossible for her to sneak up on anyone.

  ‘Here comes the bride,’ Alex murmured, and Lily pasted on her best “so happy to be here” smile.

  ‘Lily!’ Beatrice flung her arms around her cousin, feeding Lily a mouthful of veil and perfume in the process. ‘Who’d have thought it, huh? Me married before you – and at only twenty-one!’

  ‘Such an achievement,’ Alex murmured, and when Lily glanced across at him his face was serious, but his eyes were laughing.

  Beatrice smiled at him, taking his words at face value. ‘I know. My parents are so proud.’ She turned concerned eyes back to Lily. ‘How’s Auntie Evelyn taking… You know. Everything.’

  ‘She’s fine,’ Lily said, smile tight. ‘Enjoying having me home again, I’m sure.’ Was lying at a wedding morally wrong?

  ‘Of course.’ Beatrice’s tone was pitying now, which made Lily’s blood rise even more than the smugness in her smile. ‘And… how are you coping?’

  Lily blinked. ‘I’m fine. I mean, I broke it off, after all.’

  ‘Of course you did, sweetie.’ Beatrice patted her arm. ‘And that’s what I’ll tell everyone, of course. But just between us girls…’

  Heat flooded up to her skin, and Lily’s fury felt too bright to even think her words before she spoke them, let alone censor them.

  ‘I left him, Beatrice. Because I realized I didn’t want to get married. I don’t want to be a wife, don’t want to be someone’s property, don’t want to live my life pretending to be someone I’m not. And I’m proud of that decision. So, you know what? I’ve never been happier than the moment I threw that ring back at him.’

  Beatrice stepped back, and Lily realized, too late, that she was shouting. That everyone else in the bar was looking at them. That Alex was staring at the ceiling, trying not to laugh. And that her mother was trying to kill her with the power of her stare.

  Oh, God.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she muttered, pushing past Beatrice and her dress, wine glass still clutched in her hand. She might not be seventeen any more, but it was definitely time to find a secret corner to avoid her family and drink. Again.

  * * * *

  Alex considered staying and smoothing over ruffled feathers, but only briefly. With Lily’s dash for the door, Evelyn had turned her death stare on him, and he didn’t feel like hanging around to see if she really could make his head explode.

  He found Lily out on the patio where they’d had welcome drinks. Despite it being almost July, the evening air felt chilly against his skin. She wasn’t out there to enjoy the warm summer evening, that was for sure. She was hiding from everyone, again. Which he could understand, after her outburst. But still, she didn’t have to hide from him. And he didn’t want her retreating back into a shell of respectability at the expense of what she really felt and thought.

  Dropping to sit on the step beside her, Alex stretched his legs out in front on him, admiring the way her long, pale legs looked in the early summer sun.

  ‘You know, I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m pretty sure next weekend’s wedding will be more fun than this one.’ Lily buried her head in her hands at his words, making him chuckle.

  ‘You can’t possibly still be planning to take me to any kind of social occasion, ever again, after this,’ she said, the words muffled through her fingers.

  ‘I most certainly am. Your little outburst was by far the most entertaining part of the day so far.’ She groaned again, and he nudged against her shoulder. ‘Come on. It was a little bit funny.’

  ‘It was mortifying. My mother’s going to kill me.’

  ‘Well, yeah. There is that.’ Alex sighed. ‘Guess I will need a new date for Carrie and Nate’s wedding, after all.’

  That had the desired effect, at least. Lily looked up from her hands and glared at him, shoving his thigh away from her own. ‘You’ll just have to protect me from her.’

  ‘We’re all travelling home in the same car. And if you want me to keep my eyes on the road, you’re pretty much on your own with the self-defence, sweetheart.’

  ‘God, I’m doomed.’ Lily leant back on her hands, looking up into the darkening sky, and Alex found himself mimicking her position without even meaning to. ‘This is exactly what she was afraid would happen, you know. When I left Edward.’

  ‘That you’d speak your mind to patronizing cousins at weddings?’

  He’d meant it as a joke, but Lily said, ‘Pretty much,’ and sighed.

  Alex waited. She’d elaborate eventually, he knew. As the afternoon had proven, Lily wasn’t very good at staying quiet when she had something to say.

  ‘Mum’s afraid I’ll revert to type,’ she said eventually. ‘Edward kept me respectable. Quiet. He didn’t shout, didn’t make a fuss. And, over time, I guess I started to do the same. He made me calmer, and she liked me that way. Without his influence…’

  ‘Evelyn thinks you might say what you actually think and feel, rather than what someone else wants you to? Heaven forfend.’ The words came out angrier than he’d intended, but really. He wanted to head back to Felinfach and shake Edward stupid for keeping Lily quiet. Docile. No wonder she didn’t want to get married if that was what she thought marriage was.

  ‘I know, I know. But there are times and places to speak your mind.’ She sighed, sitting up again, her shoulders hunched. ‘This really wasn’t it.’

  Alex flung a friendly arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his body. She leant her head against his shoulder, the sweetness of her sham
poo filling his lungs as he breathed her in. ‘Maybe not. But, personally, I’m glad you did.’

  It didn’t make any sense, he knew that. He wanted Lily to be everything she wanted to be, everything she was and had been before life scared her. But he wanted her to find happiness, love and marriage too, just like he wanted for himself. Even though she wasn’t the sort of woman he’d ever imagined himself marrying. But somewhere out there, there had to be a man searching for a woman like Lily, didn’t there?

  A good friend would help her find him. But the way his heart clenched at the very thought of Lily with her perfect match told him he wasn’t that good a friend.

  Lily wanted to find out who she was without Edward, without all the expectations she’d lived with for the last seven years. But Alex couldn’t help wondering who she’d be with him.

  ‘We should get heading home,’ Lily said, after a long silence. ‘Face Mum’s wrath in the car. And then every day from now on, until I find somewhere else to live.’

  She sounded so miserable. Alex supposed, if he had to live with Evelyn, he’d feel the same. ‘Why don’t you ask Cora if you can stay with her?’

  ‘I could…’ Lily shook her head. ‘She’s elbow deep in wedding plans, and Rhys probably wouldn’t want me there…’

  ‘Lily.’ Evelyn snapped the name from behind them, and Alex winced, seeing the expression mirrored on Lily’s face. Letting his arm fall from her shoulders as casually as he could, he turned and stood.

  ‘Mrs Thomas. Lily was just saying that it was probably about time to go home.’

  Evelyn nodded. ‘If she’s quite finished making an utter spectacle of herself, I’ll go and make our goodbyes. I suggest I meet you both at the car.’

  As Evelyn disappeared back through the French doors, Lily got to her feet. ‘Think I’ve got time to call Cora before Mum gets back?’

  Alex handed her his mobile phone without a word.

  * * * *

  ‘I hope you’ll be okay in here,’ Cora said, hovering nervously outside the spare bedroom door.