Changing Faces

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Slower and more controlled,” he said immediately.

  I did as he instructed but I never looked at him. Which was interesting, because until now I hadn’t been able to take my eyes off of him, not privately or publicly.

  I finished up the first set and started the second and I was already feeling my biceps burn. But I kept curling.

  “That’s it,” he said, standing with his arms folded. He was acting like a well-paid naval commander who’d been hired to whip me in shape.

  When I completed the second set, I tried to continue but I couldn’t. Just as I had imagined, three sets were too much.

  “Keep going,” he said.

  “I can’t, Rico. Maybe next week, but not tonight.”

  “Yes you can,” he said matter-of-factly. “You’ve got to push yourself.”

  “And what exactly do you think I’ve been doing?” I said, staring at him.

  “Not as much as you should be.”

  “What do you mean? I’ve done everything you told me to do every single night.”

  “I know, Whitney, but if you want to lose fifty pounds by the end of November, then you’re going to have to up your game a little bit.”

  I got off of the machine and moved on to the next one. When I sat down, I started working my triceps.

  “Then suit yourself,” he said. “It’s your body.”

  “Why are you speaking to me this way?”

  “No reason,” he said, scanning the room.

  I had a feeling my greatest fear was being realized. Rico really was too good to be true. The man was showing his true colors and he was doing it rather quickly. Much too quickly for someone who’d been treating me like a queen all week. I knew that wasn’t a long time, but I was still surprised by the way he was acting.

  I finished two sets and moved on to the chest press.

  Rico was walking alongside me and some short guy came up to him.

  “Long time no see, man,” Rico said.

  “I know, man,” the short guy said. “My work schedule has been outrageous, so I haven’t been here in a while.”

  “So, how’s everything been?” Rico asked.

  “Can’t complain. The job is good. My girl is good. Everything’s lovely.”

  “Glad to hear it.”

  Rico glanced over at me, making sure my form was correct.

  “So, who’s this?” the short guy asked.

  “This is Whitney, a good friend of mine. I’m training her on the machines.”

  “Oh, okay. How are you?” he said to me. “I’m Terrance.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” I said, trying to be polite, but I was furious with Rico. This was the second time he’d referred to me as his good friend and insinuated that we were nothing special. I felt like such a fool.

  I finished the third machine, moved on to the fourth, fifth, and sixth, and then I nixed the final two. And there was no way I was getting on any treadmill. I was exhausted and I wasn’t up to it mentally either, not after Rico had humiliated me in front of that Tyra Banks–looking chick and the guy he was still chatting with.

  So, I left the area and went into the locker room. As soon as I walked in, I sat down on the bench and burst into tears. Thankfully, no one was around to see me, because I looked pretty pitiful. I shed one tear after another, feeling sorry for myself, and then it dawned on me. I didn’t have to feel this way if I didn’t want to. I had always been a master at fixing my pain, and I could do it again fairly easy. There was certainly still time for my evening to end on a happy note, and why shouldn’t it?

  I smiled at my solution, gathered my personal belongings, and went out to my car.

  “Mm, mm, mm,” I moaned. “It doesn’t get much better than this.”

  I was stretched out like a Cheshire cat on the sofa, all by myself, relishing every moment.

  I’d already inhaled seven Krispy Kremes and was still counting.

  I’d purchased one full dozen, six chocolate-iced and six originals, and they were better than I remembered. It had only been five days since I’d consumed any, but I was a fiend needing a fix and these doughnuts were taking care of it. I was sure they were better than any drug available.

  I finished the final five and debated whether I should remove the box from the coffee table and take it into the kitchen, but I didn’t feel like it. Pieces of frosting had dropped onto my shirt and onto the carpet and were probably strewn in a few other places, but I wouldn’t worry about it until morning.

  I lay there quietly and contentedly. I thought about Rico and how he’d treated me, but the pain wasn’t as noticeable. And while I could hear some movie on Lifetime beginning to fade, I batted my eyes, trying to stay awake. I batted them until I couldn’t fight it any longer but then I heard the doorbell ringing.

  I sat up and looked around and then it rang again. I had a feeling it was Rico and I debated whether to let him in.

  But I did.

  I opened the door and walked away from it and he came in and followed me into the family room. I wanted to die when I realized the Krispy Kreme box was still hanging wide open.

  “Please don’t tell me you just ate a bunch of those,” he said, taking a seat.

  But I didn’t respond.

  “Whitney? Tell me you didn’t. Not after all the progress you’ve made.”

  I still didn’t say anything.

  “Oh, so now you’re not going to answer me?”

  “Why are you here, Rico?”

  “No, the question is why did you walk away from me without saying anything and then just leave the health club?”

  “Because I was tired of you talking to me the way you were.”

  “And how was that?”

  “Like you were irritated because I couldn’t lift those weights the way you wanted me to.”

  “I was only irritated because I want you to meet your goal and it seems to me you’re not trying very hard. And on top of that, I come here and find an empty doughnut box?”

  “My feelings were hurt, Rico. Can you understand that?”

  “Hurt why?”

  “Because you kept introducing me as your friend.”

  “Well, we are friends,” he said with a confused expression on his face.

  “When two people sleep together on a regular basis, they shouldn’t be categorized as just friends.”

  “Look, Whitney, I like you a lot, but we’ve only known each other for four days. I mean, it’s not like we’re in love or anything like that.”

  I knew he was right, but I didn’t have the nerve to tell him that I was already heading in that direction. I hadn’t wanted to feel this way, but I couldn’t help myself.

  “Then why did you send me flowers with a note saying ‘This is only the beginning’?”

  “Because to me this is the beginning…of a wonderful friendship.”

  “So, are you saying you sleep with all your friends?”

  “No, I’m saying that I want us to take things slow.”

  “Are you sleeping with other women now?”

  “No.”

  “Don’t lie, Rico.”

  “I’m not, and let me make something clear. I’d have no problem letting you know if I was. I told you on Monday that I’m a straightforward kind of guy and that means I don’t hide anything.”

  “So, are you planning on sleeping with anyone else while you’re still seeing me?”

  “No. My plan is for us to get to know each other a lot better.”

  Now I didn’t know what to think. He was being on the up-and-up but I still didn’t like what I was hearing. I didn’t like the fact that he could sleep with someone else at any time and he might expect me to be okay with it. I didn’t like the fact that I’d made the decision to sleep with him myself so quickly.

  Rico gazed at the empty box and shook his head disappointedly.

  “I still can’t believe you ate those.”

  “I was desperate. And on top of that, the only thing I had today was a grilled
chicken breast with no bread.”

  “That’s bad. Because even if you’re going to watch your carbs, you have to eat at least five times a day. I told you that on Tuesday. Three small meals and at least two snacks. If you don’t, you’ll keep bingeing the way you just did.”

  “I’ll start over tomorrow,” I said.

  “Well, I hope that’s true, because if you don’t, you’ll never be ready for that reunion.”

  I averted my eyes toward the TV and Rico relaxed farther into the sofa. When he’d first offered to train me, I’d thought this would be a good thing, but now I wasn’t so sure. I was starting to wonder if it might be better for us to keep this friendship of ours separate from my weight loss program. Because I could see it was going to cause conflict.

  But for now I would keep things as is.

  I would do it for the same reason Aunt Hilda had shacked up with her man all these years. I would do it so I didn’t have to be alone.

  Chapter 21

  CHARISSE

  TODAY WAS definitely not the norm. It was a beautiful autumn morning and Charisse and Brianna were headed to the hair salon for back-to-back appointments. Not once since Brianna had become old enough to get her hair done professionally had she and Charisse gone to the salon on the same day. As a matter of fact, Charisse had even made sure that Marvin was the one who took Brianna so she didn’t have to.

  But since three days ago, when Charisse had been pretending to show Brianna this newfound affection and Brianna had told her how much she loved her, Charisse had begun feeling somewhat differently about her daughter. Even though she’d misconstrued the entire event by hallucinating about her own mother, it was almost as if her feelings for Brianna had changed. It was as if Charisse had awakened from a bad dream and actually wanted to spend time with her. She couldn’t explain it exactly, but a part of her wanted to love her daughter. Of course, she had always loved her son, but now there was something special about Brianna. There was something special about the way her daughter had hugged her and spoken to her on Wednesday and the way she truly seemed to need her.

  “So, who’s this Halston person your brother was teasing you about last week?” Charisse said, turning the corner and driving out of their subdivision.

  Brianna blushed and Charisse could tell Brianna didn’t know how to answer.

  “You can tell me,” Charisse said. “Who is he?”

  “Just some boy,” she said, gazing out of the window.

  “Some boy that you really like, apparently.”

  Brianna smiled but kept looking out of the window.

  Charisse had wanted to talk about boys with her own mother, but her mother hadn’t wanted to hear about them. She hadn’t wanted to hear about anything or anyone Charisse was interested in. Their relationship had forever been such a sad state of affairs and now Charisse was sorry that she’d treated Brianna almost worse. She was sorry that she’d actually despised an innocent child, her own flesh and blood, since the day she had been born.

  “Mom?” Brianna said after a couple of minutes passed by. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course. What is it?”

  “Why did you start crying the way you did when I hugged you the other day?”

  Charisse paused because she didn’t know how to answer the question. In all honesty, she’d wanted to forget altogether about that spell she’d had.

  “I guess I was just emotional,” she finally said.

  “But you looked really upset and then you ran down the stairs.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry. I guess I got upset because you and I have never hugged that way before.”

  “Not even when I was a little baby?”

  “Well, yeah, I always hugged you that way back then,” Charisse lied with a straight face. She didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth.

  “Well, why did you stop?”

  “I don’t know,” Charisse said, starting to feel uncomfortable with all of these questions.

  “Well, I’m glad you like me now. And I’m glad we’re going to get our hair done together just like Ashley and her mom do.”

  Charisse wanted to break into tears again. She wasn’t sure what was happening to her but this whole scenario with Brianna was baffling her. For the first time in her life, she felt guilty. She’d never regretted or felt guilty about anything she’d ever done or said, but she was definitely feeling that way about Brianna. At this very moment, she wished she could start life all over again and do things a lot differently.

  As Charisse continued driving, she wondered how Taylor was doing. Taylor had called her yesterday to tell Charisse about her doctor’s visit, and Charisse could tell that Taylor was worried. Charisse did sympathize with her, but she still didn’t understand why Taylor had waited two years to have another Pap exam. It just didn’t make any sense, not when a woman knew she needed to have them annually and had medical insurance to cover it.

  “Dial your Aunt Taylor for me,” Charisse said to Brianna.

  Brianna waited for Taylor to answer.

  “Hi, Auntie Taylor. How are you?”

  Charisse watched Brianna’s face light up, and for the first time, it didn’t bother Charisse. In the past, Brianna’s love for Taylor had tended to irritate Charisse, but not today. Today, she had the utmost respect for it, and surprisingly, it gave her a warm feeling.

  “Okay, Auntie Taylor, I’ll talk to you later,” Brianna said, passing her mother the phone.

  “So, how are you?” Charisse asked Taylor.

  “I guess I’m hanging in there. And I’m trying my hardest to stay positive.”

  “Which is good because chances are you won’t need to have a hysterectomy.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  “I am. You’ll be just fine and this will be over before you know it.”

  “So, where are you and Brianna on your way to so early in the morning?”

  “The hair salon.”

  “On a Saturday!”

  “I know. Normally, I’m her first client of the day because I hate waiting. But I made this appointment at the last minute and this is what we got stuck with.”

  “Well, good luck.”

  “Tell me about it. But hey, how’s Whitney doing with her diet?”

  “I just spoke to her a few minutes ago and she’s fine. She fell off the wagon a little bit last night, but now she’s back on track.”

  “Why’d she do that?”

  “I guess she just wanted something sweet.”

  “She needs to pray for determination. Pray for a lot more willpower.”

  “Sometimes it’s just not that easy.”

  “I believe we can do whatever we set our minds to, so if Whitney really wants to lose weight and lose it for good, she’s going to have to want it bad enough.”

  “Well, I think she does want it bad enough. I mean, no one would be overweight if they could help it. And the fact that we’re in our late thirties and our metabolisms have slowed down makes it that much harder.”

  “Which is why both you and I work out at least three times a week.”

  “But not everyone is the same, Charisse.”

  “To a certain extent we are. Especially when it comes to issues like this.”

  “Okay, Charisse. I think we should just agree to disagree on this one.”

  “Fine,” Charisse said, pulling in front of Lisa’s Hair Unlimited. “I just wanted to see how you were, but I’ll probably give you a call later. If not, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Have fun,” Taylor said, laughing.

  “Yeah, right.”

  When Charisse and Brianna walked inside, Charisse looked around and got angry. There was some middle-aged woman sitting in Lisa’s chair, another client sitting under the dryer, and another on the other side of the room, waiting. This was the very reason Charisse demanded to be the first client of the day or she preferred not to come at all. She’d never understood why beauticians did this because it wasn’t like they could d
o any more than one head at one time. It wasn’t like they could work some amazingly awesome miracle with just two hands.

  “Hi, Charisse,” Lisa said. “Hi, Brianna. Please have a seat and I’ll be with both of you as soon as I can.”

  Was she serious? The woman had five people in her shop and she was acting like it was no problem.

  Charisse wanted to tell Lisa to go purchase some foundation to cover up all those blemishes on her face, but Charisse calmed down and took a deep breath instead. She settled herself before she lost it. When it came to Marvin and Whitney, she was only pretending to be more compassionate, but for Brianna she truly did want to be a better person. She didn’t know why exactly, but she definitely wasn’t faking when it came to her and she didn’t want to act indignant in front of her now.

  “Why don’t you read one of those magazines?” Charisse said.

  “I brought one of my novels,” Brianna said, pulling out The Princess Diaries.

  “When did you get that?” Charisse asked.

  “Daddy bought it for me last week.”

  “Wasn’t there a movie with that title?”

  “Yep. Daddy took Ashley and me to see it when it came out three years ago, and he took us to see The Princess Diaries 2 last month.”

  Charisse saw the woman sitting a few seats down looking over at them and Charisse felt embarrassed. She knew the woman was wondering why she didn’t know what movies her own daughter had gone to. Worse, she probably wondered why Brianna’s father had been the one taking her to see movies when it clearly should have been her.

  But Charisse’s mother had never taken her to the movies or anywhere else that would be considered entertaining. She hadn’t even taken her to church all that much or to visit many of their relatives.

  “We should rent the DVD,” Brianna said. “I think you would like it.”

  “Then maybe we will,” Charisse said, pulling out a book by Joyce Meyer.

  After about forty minutes or so, Lisa finished curling the middle-aged woman, a.k.a. client number 1, and removed her smock. Then, she called over client number 3, the woman sitting not too far from Brianna. But the killing part was that the woman that had been sitting under the dryer, client number 2, who’d obviously just gotten a deep conditioner, was now waiting to be rinsed. Still, Lisa took client number 3 back to the shampoo bowl like she didn’t see her. Charisse could tell that client number 2 was teed off but just wasn’t saying anything.