Because of Low

by Abbi Glines

  “Wow. That looks really good.”

  I pulled out her chair and waved my hand for her to have a seat. Giggling she made her way over and stopped right in front of me. Standing on her tip toes she kissed me softly then leaned back and whispered, “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  She slid into her seat and I pushed her chair in then walked over to my side and sat down.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever had a guy pull my chair out and push me to the table before. I always thought it would be kind of awkward but you made it look as smooth as it appears on television.”

  I smirked then reached for the syrup.

  “I worked for Jax Stone for a few summers at his vacation house on the island. One of my jobs was serving their food. I pulled his mother’s chair out a million times.”

  Her mouth made a small o shape.

  “That’s how you know Sadie then?”

  I nodded and once again I was surprised that my chest didn’t ache at the mention of Sadie’s name. Damn if that didn’t make me smile.

  “Um, Marcus,” she giggled and I looked up to see what was so funny.

  “Why did you give me three drinks?”

  This time I laughed and shrugged, “Wasn’t sure what you’d want.”

  Willow bit her bottom lip still smiling then reached for the milk.

  “With sweet stuff, I like milk.”

  “I’ll remember that.”

  Willow

  I had to work tonight but Tawny called and asked me to watch Larissa for a couple of hours this afternoon. Marcus hadn’t argued with me like Cage would have. He seemed to understand family craziness and gave me a ride over there. He’d made me promise to call him as soon as I was ready to leave. He was going job hunting today and he had a paper to write for one of his online courses. Leaving him was still hard. I was already addicted to him. Not exactly healthy behavior.

  As usual Tawny was running late. She’d promised I’d have time to go home and change before work but it looked like I’d be going to work as is. Glancing at my phone for the tenth time in like five minutes I let out a frustrated growl. Why couldn’t she just call or text when she was running late?

  The sound of gravel crunching under tires outside ended my frustration and I went to close Larissa’s door so Tawny wouldn’t wake her up from her nap. I’d go outside to call Marcus after I’d dealt with Tawny. I didn’t want her listening in on our conversation.

  Walking by the window I stopped. Instead of Tawny’s piece of junk Ford Taurus there was a very expensive black car in the driveway. That couldn’t be good. Turning around I went to the door expecting a knock when it opened and in walked my sister followed by an older guy. Much older.

  “You can go now,” Tawny said sauntering into the house and glancing at me as if I were the hired help.

  “Um, okay,” I stared back at the strange man. Was this her new sugar daddy? Whoever it was I was getting an introduction before I left. If Tawny was going to bring strange men around my niece I wanted to know who they were.

  “I’m late and you’ve got work. Why’re you just standing there?”

  The man frowned slightly at Tawny and took a step toward me holding out his hand, “Hello, I’m Jefferson.” That’s all I get? One name? What was he freaking Usher? I don’t think so.

  “Willow, Tawny’s sister,” I replied shaking his hand as firmly as I could. A smile tugged at his lips and he was instantly familiar. How odd. I’d never met this man before. I studied his face carefully. What was it about him?

  “Okay now you two have met. You can leave,” the irritation in Tawny’s voice was unmistakable. She didn’t want me here. Well now I was curious. So too bad.

  “Are you dating my sister?” I asked looking back up at Jefferson the one named old guy.

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Aren’t you old enough to be her father?”

  “WILLOW” Tawny screeched storming back into the room and grabbing my arm so tightly her nails bit into my flesh.

  “What? I have a right to know what and who he is exactly. You’re bringing him around MY niece.”

  “Get out,” she seethed.

  I jerked my arm out of her hold and glared at her.

  “No. Not until I get answers.”

  “Low so help me God I am going to”

  “Lowlow,” Larissa’s small voice interrupted my sister and we both turned to see her standing at her door. Blonde curls sticking up in a disarray from her nap.

  “Hey sleepy head you’re awake,” I replied walking toward her. Little arms raised up in the air for me to pick her up and I gently lifted her and rested her on my hip.

  “Mama,” she mumbled in a sleepy voice pointing to Tawny.

  “Yep Mama is home.”

  “Dada” she pointed to Jefferson.

  My head snapped around and my eyes locked with his. Slowly I took in his nose and eyes. The way his bottom lip was slightly larger than his top one. Could this be him?

  Holding Larissa tightly against me I shifted my questioning gaze to my sister.

  She let out a sigh and rolled her eyes.

  “Fine. You’ll find out soon enough anyway,” she hissed, “Jefferson is Larissa’s dad. But he’s still married and in the process of a divorce. Once it’s final Larissa and I’ll be moving out. You can have this place once we’re out. I don’t ever want to set foot in it again.”

  She’d broken up a marriage. Larissa was this man’s love child. Oh. Shit.

  “Close your mouth Low and give me Larissa. Then leave, please.”

  I walked toward Tawny in a daze. I’d always wondered if that was the case but hearing her admit it was like someone had slapped me. Tawny reached for Larissa and Larissa buried her head in my chest and clung to me.

  “No,” she said loudly. Tears were in her little voice.

  “Give her to me Low,” Tawny was angry.

  “Go to Mama now sweet girl. I have to go to work,” I said gently easing her small head back to look at me.

  “My Lowlow,” she announced wrapping her arms tightly around my neck.

  “Yes, your Lowlow but your Lowlow needs to go to work. Your,” I paused and stared up at Jefferson ignoring the sick knot in my stomach, “Daddy is here to see you.” I felt like I was going to throw up. My sweet baby girl was the product of adultery. It made me want to scream to the top of my lungs. This was so unfair. I hated what Tawny had done yet I couldn’t wish it’d never happened. Holding Larissa in my arms I could never wish she didn’t exist.

  “My Lowlow,” Larissa repeated patting my chest. I turned my attention back to her and she was giving her father a toothless smile while introducing me to him. Tears burned my eyes and I forced them back. Crying would upset her and I needed her to let me leave. Although running out the door with her wrapped tightly in my arms was tempting. I wanted her away from the truth that would haunt her for the rest of her life. I knew what that stigma felt like. The dad that only visited you when he could get away from his real family. Being the product of an affair. That was me. It had shadowed me my entire life. Not being good enough for my dad to want me all the time. And then the visits had just stopped one day. He’d moved his family away and I never saw or heard from him again.

  I had no doubt in my mind Jefferson would do the same thing to Larissa. He’d tell my gullible stupid sister that he was leaving his wife but he never would. She’d never leave this house. Larissa would grow up here while one man after another walked in and out of her mother’s life. She’d cry herself to sleep for the daddy who’d not wanted her.

  “Give her to me and just go,” Tawny demanded ripping Larissa from my arms. She knew what I was thinking. She hated me for it too. The fury flashing in her eyes didn’t scare me. The pain she’d eventually face when this man never came through for them and eventually left them alone was what scared me.

  “MY LOWLOW,” Larissa howled as her small arms reached for me.

  “Shush Larissa. That’s enough,
” Tawny scolded only causing Larissa to scream louder.

  I wanted to grab her back but the longer I stood here the worse this would get. Instead I blew her a kiss, “Love you my pretty girl.” Then taking a page out of Marcus’s play book I said, “Remember act like a princess. Princesses don’t scream.” She paused and thought about it a minute while little tears rolled down her face.

  “Skiutles,” she said frowning.

  “Yes, that’s right they say Skittles,” I assured her then waved goodbye, “I’ll see you soon, okay.”

  I turned and rushed out the door before the tears came.

  I’d walked about a mile when I saw Marcus’s truck slow down beside me. He was out of it and over to me immediately. I knew I looked a mess. I hadn’t called him because I’d needed to cry and vomit. Walking helped calm me down some and clear my head.

  “Low, what’s wrong?” He asked pulling me into his arms. I shook my head and willed myself not to lose it again. I couldn’t tell Marcus any of this. My world wasn’t something he’d understand. It was ugly. I didn’t want the taint that had followed me all my life to be a part of my relationship with him. He’d see me differently if he knew. He’d see Larissa differently. If I wanted us to work I couldn’t share this part of me with him.

  “Why didn’t you call me? I was writing and glanced at the time and realized you should have called an hour ago. I came as fast as I could.”

  I pulled back from his chest and swallowed the lump in my throat. The acidic taste from puking burned my throat.

  “I got in a fight with Tawny. She’s an ass. Larissa cried because I was leaving. I hate to leave her like that.”

  Marcus nodded and his thumbs caressed my cheeks as he held my face. I really hoped he didn’t try to kiss me. I needed to brush the vomit from my mouth.

  “Family can suck,” he agreed. Then he turned and opened the truck door and lifted me up into the seat.

  “Next time, call me. Please,” he pleaded.

  I nodded and forced a smile.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Marcus

  I pulled up to my mom’s house and parked behind Amanda’s new Mercedes. I was a little late but I had a hard time leaving Willow at work after the way I’d found her. Damn she’d been upset. I hadn’t even met this sister and I really disliked her. If it wasn’t for the fact she was Larissa’s mom I’d hate her. I wanted to tell her I knew how screwed up family relationships could be but dropping my crap on her seemed unfair. Willow was sensitive. She’d only worry over me and I wanted her happy. Giving her more to stress over wouldn’t do either of us any good. Besides I wasn’t alone in this. I had Amanda.

  Opening the front door I walked in without knocking. It was family dinner night. Next week I intended to bring Willow with me. I wanted her to meet my Mom. I’d just need to find out her work schedule and we’d make sure to have family dinner on a night Willow was available.

  “Well it’s about time you drug your love sick tail in here,” Amanda teased.

  I grinned. No use in denying it. I wasn’t in love yet. But I could easily see it going there.

  “Lovesick?” Mom asked stepping out of the kitchen with her stark white apron on with the lace stuff around the bottom and a glass of white wine in her hand.

  “Yes lovesick. You should see him with her mom. He’s all sweet and possessive. It’s adorable and slightly nauseating.”

  Mom’s face brightened at Amanda’s description. She’d been worried about me this summer after the Sadie fiasco.

  “And why didn’t you bring her tonight? I want to see this nauseating scene myself.”

  I walked over and hugged my mom because I knew she needed the affection and I was just so glad to see her smile again.

  “I will next week. She’s working tonight. When I find out her off nights next week I’ll let you know and we can pick a night she’s available.”

  Mom kissed one cheek and patted my other one.

  “Good,” she replied then turned and walked back into the kitchen.

  “Cage know yet?” Amanda asked in a low voice as she sidled up beside me.

  I nodded and she gasped.

  “I moved her out of his room.”

  Amanda’s eyes flew open as wide as they’d go.

  “No way!”

  “Yep”

  “And he didn’t kick you out?” She sounded shocked.

  “And take Low with me? No. He’d never do that.”

  “Ah, didn’t think about that. Smart move bro.”

  I shrugged, “I’m pretty dang brilliant.”

  “Whatever.”

  Slapping me on the back of my head she walked around me and led the way to the kitchen.

  Once we had all the food on the table and the three of us were seated, Mom cleared her throat, “Okay there is something I wanted to tell you both. Since our last little chat I’ve made some decisions.” The look of apprehension on her face worried me. That couldn’t be good. Taking a long swig of my sweet tea I waited for her to continue.

  “I’ve spoken with your father this week. Several times. I did bring up the possibility of a divorce. I told him that if he wanted out then fine. I’d let him go,” she paused and twisted the napkin in her hands nervously. Also not a good sign.

  “He doesn’t want a divorce. We both believe he has been going through a midlife crisis,” she held up her hand when I opened my mouth very close to yelling “bull shit” at my mother’s dinner table. “Don’t Marcus. Let me finish,” she pleaded. I couldn’t look back at Amanda. This was just going to give her hope. I hated to see the relief on her face. Knowing it would only hurt her even more when Dad screwed up again.

  “You haven’t been our age or lived our life. These things happen. A midlife crisis is very common. I understand it even if I don’t like it. Your father is letting the girl go. She won’t be working with him any longer. He’s coming home. We’re going to work on mending what has been broken. And I need both of you to stand behind me, us. Having you angry at your father won’t help me,” she swallowed hard and I saw the tears glistening in her blue eyes. “I want him to remember how good this family can be together. I want him to want us.”

  I sat there unable to make eye contact with my sister. I knew she was behind this one hundred percent. I also knew my mom wanted this to work. Dad had given her hope. My getting angry and pointing out the multiple issues with this set up would only upset them. It wouldn’t change their minds. Nothing I said would change their minds. They wanted him that much. So I did the only thing I could do.

  “Okay Mama. Whatever you want.”

  Willow

  Something had upset Marcus. He’d been his usual attentive, thoughtful self since he’d picked me up but I could feel his anger under the surface. It had to do with his family. He’d had dinner with them tonight. That much I knew. But I couldn’t ask him, not when I wasn’t willing to open up to him about my family problems. If he wanted to tell me, he would. My thoughts shifted to Larissa. I stared up at the ceiling knowing sleep probably wouldn’t happen for me tonight. As tired as I was my mind wouldn’t shut down.

  The door opened slowly startling me and I sat up in bed expecting to see Marcus. It was Cage. Frowning I pulled the sheet up over Marcus’s t-shirt I was sleeping in. The last thing I needed was for him to have an angry fit in Marcus’s bedroom while he was no doubt drunk.

  “Cage,” I hissed quietly, “wrong room.”

  He didn’t listen to me and closed the door behind him before walking over to the bed and sitting down.

  “I’m not that drunk. I know whose room this is.”

  “Then what’re you doing?”

  He shrugged and let out a sigh, “I missed you and going into my empty bedroom and getting in my empty bed sucks.”

  “Well you can’t sleep in here.”

  He frowned and I reached out and squeezed his arm.

  “I know. Just wanted to see you. I thought you’d be asleep. I figured if I watched you a little bit I co
uld go to my room and go to sleep with that image in my head.”

  He could be so dang sweet. Cage didn’t do well with change. He never had. This was a change that was going to be really hard on him.

  “I’m sorry but he makes me happy Cage.”

  His frown deepened.

  “Why?”

  Why? That list could be endless. But I knew the one answer that would shut Cage down.

  “I’m enough for him.”

  Cage dropped his head into his hands.

  “Why am I so screwed up Low? Why can’t I be like him? What the fuck is wrong with me?”

  My heart broke a little. Memories of the bruises covering his body and gashes on his forehead and cheek all gifts from his step-father flashed in my mind. He and I both had issues. Mine were just different.

  “Our life hasn’t been easy,” I replied reaching out to run my hand over his head of black silky hair.

  He pulled his hands down enough so that I could see his eyes, “But you don’t have issues with commitment.”

  “No and no one beat me either.”

  “But you were abandoned. By a man who was too stupid to know what an awesome daughter he had and even though your mom was there she wasn’t, not really.”

  Larissa’s little face today as she cried because I was leaving her came back to me and a tear rolled down my face.

  “Hey,” he reached out and caught my tear, “What’s this? I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  I shook my head and grabbed his wrist. “No, you didn’t. It’s Larissa,” I stopped myself. I needed to tell someone. I needed to talk about this. And Cage knew. He knew what I’d lived through. He’d understand.

  “I met her father today.”

  Cage’s eyes opened wider.

  “Really?”

  “Yep, and he’s married and old. Says he’s leaving his wife and going to come take Larissa and Tawny away from it all.”

  Cage didn’t ask me what was wrong with this. He didn’t have to. He’d held me when I’d found out my father had skipped town with his real family.