Zoe Thanatos

by Cierlak, Crystal

  “Ah! She exists. So, you’ve met a girl who lives an entire world away. How do you think that will work out?” Her ability to be both annoying and charming at the same time grated his nerves. Sarcastic rhetoric aside, he knew she was only looking out for his best interests.

  “I haven’t even thought that far ahead,” he admitted.

  “How did you meet?”

  “On a boat,” he answered. He pictured Zoe sitting in the plastic chair on the boat, Pacific wind in her hair as she quietly stared out at the water.

  “Recently?”

  “Yesterday morning.”

  Eva’s brows dipped into her face. “You’ve only known this girl a day?”

  He cocked his head and glared at her. “We’re not going to talk about it.”

  Disappointed, she fell silent and tried to avoid his eye contact. “Irrespective of who you’ve met here, the fact remains that you’re expected to come home. If I come home without you how do you think that will make me look?”

  “Tell them you couldn’t find me.” He didn’t care how it would make her look. It wasn’t her job to fetch him.

  “They’ll just send someone else to look for you, Evan.” It was an inconvenient truth he had no interest in hearing and he would stubbornly ignore it for as long as possible, the monarch be damned.

  “Well, they don’t know where I am, right? So I have some time.”

  She scowled at him, stood up from the bed and put her hands on her hips. “You’re acting like a fool!” she admonished. A cursory glance at her and it was as if he was looking at their mother, right down to the way her hands wrapped around her hips. He tried to ignore the stabbing sensation in his chest, knowing that tears would follow if he allowed himself to dwell on the past.

  “I just need some time.”

  “How much time do you think will pass before the Queen grows impatient and sends someone after you? What do you think will happen when they find you then? The whole of Terra may be under the impression that we live with the Stratons as their guests, but you and I both know that is not the case. We’re their prisoners, Evander; don’t forget that.”

  “Give me a day. Go back to Terra and tell Kyra and Owyn that I’m on my way back. Make sure they don’t send anyone after me. The last thing I need is to see Hector or Alcander showing up at my door.”

  “Why do you need a day? To say goodbye to this girl?”

  Evan rolled his eyes at his sister. “Yes. She’ll want to know why I’m leaving.” At least, he hoped she would. He thought back to her many questions and knew there would be more to follow. He didn’t know how to explain Eva to her, nor did he want to say goodbye.

  “Does it matter what you say? It’s not like you can tell her the truth.”

  He kept his eyes down and his mouth shut, but could feel her glaring back at him, no doubt incredulous.

  “What have you told her?”

  “Enough for her to need more than just a simple goodbye.” He looked at her defiantly, silently daring her to challenge him.

  “You’re unbelievable.” Her eyes rolled to the ceiling as she shook her head, her forearms tightening as she grabbed handfuls of the bedding beneath them and squeezed.

  “I had no choice but to tell her some truth, Eva. Something happened and I ended up exposing myself. I couldn’t think of another explanation that would sound plausible enough so I told her the truth.”

  “Plausible,” she mocked him. “How much does she know?” She was still visibly upset, but seemed genuinely curious to hear how much of their world he had revealed to her. He hadn’t just exposed himself, but his family as well. He opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by the ringing of a telephone. He expelled a held breath and walked to the desk to pick up the receiver.

  “Hello?” he asked briskly.

  “Good morning, Sir. This is Angela at the front desk. You have a guest in the lobby, a Miss Zoe Thanatos.”

  His blood ran still at the sound of her name. Eva was listening from across the room, staring at him expectantly. Shit.

  “Hold for just a second?” he asked before putting the receiver down to his chest and cupping the mouthpiece in his hand. “Give me a day, please?” he asked.

  “That’s her, isn’t it?”

  “She’s downstairs at reception.”

  “Great. I’d like to meet her.” There was a small smile of satisfaction on her face that had annoyed him since childhood. There was no point arguing with her; she was just as stubborn as he was.

  Evan put the receiver back to his ear. “Hi. Please send her to my room. Thanks.” He replaced the handset on the base and took a deep breath. “Please, Evadine, be on your best behavior,” he pleaded with her.

  She scowled and dismissed his words with a wave of her hand. “You better hope she keeps your confidence, Evander.”

  “Who would she tell?” It wasn’t as if anyone would believe her if she did.

  “How do you think the knowledge of where you come from will sit with her once you’re gone? Did you really think you could drop a bomb like that on someone you’ll likely never see again?” His face darkened at the thought. A healthy knock at the door broke through the tension between the two siblings. Evan looked to her once more before opening the door.

  The Zoe Thanatos who stood on the other side was not the same girl from the boat. She was vibrant and radiant. Dark hair fell in sleek waves over her shoulders and long, bare legs tucked into a pair of blue shoes added at least four inches to her height. She looked fresh faced, relaxed, and even more beautiful than he remembered.

  “Hi,” she greeted quietly, her right cheek picking up in what he thought was half of a shy smile. “I know it’s only been a few hours since you left but it occurred to me that we never made any official plans to hang out again. So I thought I’d ask you to brunch. Are you busy?”

  After what seemed like a long pause he finally remembered how to breath and covered his surprise with what he hoped was a charming smile. “Please, come in.” He opened the door wider and she walked through. A perfumed curl of gardenia floated in with her, lightly filling his senses. He closed the door and followed her into the room.

  She looked back at him quickly before noticing the third person in the room. Eva stood up from the bed and extended her hand to Zoe. The brief smile she had managed was gone and her eyes narrowed speculatively.

  “Evadine Nero,” his sister introduced as her hand met Zoe’s own. “Evander’s sister,” she clarified. There was a brief flicker of confusion on Zoe’s face at the sound of his full name, but she quickly recovered and seemed to relax.

  “Zoe Thanatos. Very nice to meet you, Evadine.”

  Eva’s eyes flickered up to Evan’s, a question in them she could not verbalize in the moment. She quickly recovered and looked back to Zoe, smiling her friendliest smile.

  “Call me Eva. So I hear you and my brother just met yesterday? He mentioned something vague about meeting on a boat?” she asked brightly. Whatever reservations she had about the little bit of information Zoe knew about them, she kept them hidden well. She was polite as ever, charming even.

  Zoe glanced at Evan. His eyes softened and he smiled kindly, trying to assure that her secret was safe.

  “Yes,” he started. “In Ventura, just south from here. Zoe was then kind enough to treat me to the best meatloaf sandwich I’ve ever had.”

  Eva smiled broadly at each of them. “How quaint!” she chirped.

  “I just came by to invite Evan to brunch. There’s this beautiful little beach nearby with a great restaurant. It’s a must for anyone who visits Santa Barbara. Eva, I’d love for you to join us as well,” Zoe offered.

  “Actually,” Evan stepped in before Eva could speak. “My sister is on her way home. Aren’t you, Eva?”

  “That can wait,” she shrugged while smiling brightly at Zoe. “I’d love to join you.” She looked pointedly at Evan and smiled.

  “Or you could just go home like you planned?” he fired back.
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  “You said yourself that could wait a day. Besides, then you can come back with me and I won’t have to go alone.”

  Zoe’s eyes volleyed between Evan and Eva, finally resting on him with the most curious expression on her face. “You’re going home?” she asked, disappointment evident.

  “Not yet,” he replied, his gaze still locked on Eva.

  “I don’t know how much he’s told you about our home,” Eva began, “but my brother is quite important and his presence is being requested.”

  “And an extra day won’t make a difference.” His eyes trained on Zoe, wishing he knew what she was thinking.

  “You know what?” Eva interrupted. “I just remembered I have an important errand to run. Why don’t I meet up with you later?”

  “Are you sure?” Zoe asked.

  “Yes, but I would absolutely love to meet you later. Maybe you could show me and my brother around?”

  “Sure,” Zoe smiled politely. “Evan, shall we? It was nice to meet you, Eva.”

  “You as well, Zoe Thanatos.”

  Evan shot a look back to his sister as he followed Zoe to the door.

  “Shall we?” she asked sweetly.

  Chapter 7: The New Day

  Zoe sat on the couch for more than an hour after Evan left. It had been a long time since she had watched the changing colors of the morning light, so she sat on the couch, nibbling on macarons and taking in the quiet splendor of her surroundings. She could feel the last remnants of charged air from standing so close to Evan. For a brief moment the thought crossed her mind that he might try to... No. She forced the thought from her mind. It seemed pointless to dwell

  Looking around the house she realized she hadn’t properly appreciated it for quite some time. She pulled the curtains back from each window and opened them to let the fresh air in. Nothing smelled better than citrus blossoms and the ocean. She went from room to room until the entire house was flooded with light and perfumed with the Santa Barbara air. She followed her nose outside and found that the backyard had overgrown from neglect. The dark planks of wood that made up the deck surrounding the lagoon-shaped pool were weathered and in need of care. The thick plastic chaise lounges were years past their prime. Only the pool itself looked maintained; it was crystal clear, clean and inviting.

  Zoe walked to the deep end, stripped off the ugly jeans and ratty old shirt she was still dressed in from the previous day, and stood in nothing but her bra and underwear, welcoming the feeling of the sun as it touched parts of her skin that hadn’t seen natural light in far too long.

  She dove in with arms stretched out high above her head, spearing into the water in a perfect line. By the time she surfaced she was chilled to the bone and couldn’t care less. The water carried her effortlessly for what seemed like hours, gently pushing her around the pool until every last thought escaped from her mind.

  It was as if a reset button had been pushed and she was starting over. For the first time in a year she had woken up without the emptiness that had haunted her. It would take a while for something to fill the space left behind by the emptiness, but she sensed something small had already taken root. Zoe wasn’t all that different from her backyard: barren and in need of nutrients. The small something she felt was a seedling and with practiced care it could grow into something beautiful, perhaps even worthwhile.

  She emerged from the water hours later, prune-skinned and completely relaxed. She headed straight for the shower and stood beneath a stream of hot water, washing away the chlorine, the salty air of Ventura harbor, and the last remnants of Santa Cruz Island. It was her fresh start in every sense of the word.

  Once clean, she headed straight to the dresser in her bedroom with a towel wrapped securely around her torso. Out of habit she opened the last drawer to pull out a pair of jeans, but stopped. She’d worn the same clothes from the same dresser every day for a year, always selecting the same sad uniform. In one of her earlier attempts to have fun, she had splurged on expensive and stylish clothes in bright colors, patterns and prints that every salesperson confirmed would make her look pretty/sexy/hot. But when they produced nothing more than a hefty credit statement, she left them in the closet, untouched and forgotten, and went back to wearing the same drab and comfortable uniform of sadness.

  In one quick motion Zoe scooped up every pair of nondescript jeans, the tee shirts in the drawer above, and all other offending apparel that made up her uniform of sadness. She dumped them into garbage bags and set them by the front door with a mental note to donate them somewhere. With the dresser empty, she walked to the closet doors and dramatically opened them with two hands, imagining a flock of moths escaping in formation above her head. The room was filled to the brim with apparel sorted by type and color; an army of footwear meticulously placed along one wall, another wall of shelves lined with colorful accessories. It was an embarrassing display of wasted wealth that made her cringe. Clearly she had gone overboard trying to obtain the shopping high that seemed to elude her.

  No, she thought. I’m not going to start the day feeling bad about myself. She was determined to feed the small seedling inside of her with positivity. Her fingers moved along the different fabrics, trying to find one that felt the most comfortable. There was a beautiful but simple silk tank, a pair of nicely tailored twill shorts, and a cardigan that looked like it was spun in wild gold thread. It sparkled and gleamed in her hand as she moved it around in the midmorning light. She decided on a pair of simple sandals from the wall of shoes when her eyes fell on a pair of blue suede wedge platforms that were as outlandish as they were striking. She grabbed them and placed the sandals in the empty space, then laid each item out on the bed before heading back to the bathroom.

  After wiping the condensation on the mirror from the shower she took a good look at her face. She barely recognized the girl staring back at her. The perpetual sadness had left a visible imprint on her face and drained her of color. She deliberately lifted the muscles in the corners of her mouth and watched the disingenuous smile lift up into her cheeks, shaking as if they didn’t have the necessary strength. She would need to exercise her seventh cranial nerve more often if she wanted to look like her old self again.

  She brushed and dried her hair, misted the scent of gardenia on her shoulders, and applied what little makeup she owned to her face. The grooming made a subtle change and put back some of the color she’d lost. She took her time with each garment as though she was observing a ritual. When she finished she felt taller and more confident. When she looked at her reflection again she still didn’t truly recognize herself, but felt she came a little bit closer to the Zoe of the past. Fake it until you make it, she chanted to herself.

  Upon returning to the living room she noticed that it was as empty and neglected as the backyard. She scanned around the modestly decorated home and made mental notes of changes she could make, the life she could bring back into the empty spaces. She could vacate the emptiness and fill it with something that would grow with her over time. If she could remodel herself she could certainly remodel her home.

  After a quick stop at a donation center, Zoe drove to the nearest home improvement store, the kind with an enormous lot of construction equipment at one end and a gardening center on the other. Employees in brightly colored smocks were milling about, leading people down aisles filled with tools, light bulbs, paint and lumber. She stared up at the aisle markers, hoping for a sign that would lead her to the right place to start.

  An associate with a friendly disposition approached her with a smile. “Are you finding everything you need?” he asked politely.

  “I’m not really sure what I need,” she answered. He seemed nonplussed. Maybe people often came in looking lost and feeling out of their league?

  “Okay. Any particular project or part of your home that needs fixing or that you’re looking to do some work on?”

  She pictured her backyard, the state of disarray it had devolved into, and figured that was as good a place
as any to start. She liked the idea of dining outside like at the restaurant in Ventura, eating meatloaf sandwiches beneath the sunset. She wanted to recreate that, along with the twinkling lights of Paris and Sydney.

  “What can you show me in outdoor dining?”

  It was at least two hours before she saw the parking lot again. As luck would have it, Richard, the associate who offered her help, was a design student and had some very inspired ideas for transforming Zoe’s backyard into a beautiful outdoor living space. With his considerable guidance she bought furniture and cookware to create an outdoor dining area, sumptuous lounge chairs for beside the pool, lights that would sparkle against the setting Santa Barbara sky, and enough plants and flowers to start her own botanical garden. Every idea inspired her and she left with purpose, feeling even better than she had that morning.

  Her stomach growled loudly as she climbed back into her car. She hadn’t eaten since the night before and the macarons did little to provide adequate nutrition. She set the car in motion and found herself on Carrillo Street, heading not towards a restaurant, but to the Canary Hotel.

  “Do you want to sit inside or outside?” she asked. The parking lot was only half full which meant that the beach wasn’t too crowded and they were in between crowds at the restaurant. The swelling afternoon was beautiful and full of promise.

  Evan shrugged nonchalantly, a smile hugging his cheeks. “Whichever you prefer,” he accommodated.

  “Inside it is.” The Boathouse looked like nothing more than a great shack on the beach, but was anything but haggard. Inside it was contemporary with bright natural lighting, a great blue couch that wrapped around a wall with enormous glass windows looking out on a small strip of sand and the expanse of the Pacific, the Channel Islands languishing out in the distance. An outside deck accommodated more than a dozen tables, while a wall of half-cement, half-glass shielded guests from wind and sand.

  Two young girls stood at a podium at the entrance to the outside dining area, one giving directions on the phone while the second greeted Zoe and Evan with a cheerful smile.