Zoe Thanatos

by Cierlak, Crystal

There were so many unanswered questions. Evan explained that a generation of life on Terra could be as much as hundreds of years on Earth. Did that mean that she came to Earth in a different decade? Another century? Would she really not remember living on Earth for hundreds of years? It seemed improbable.

  “I’m taking her back home. This isn’t her life here.” Zoe looked up at Evan and frowned at the commanding tone in his voice. He looked angry, at odds with himself even. Would he want her to stay if the circumstances were different? No, if they were different she wouldn’t be there to begin with.

  “Even if you wanted to take her home, you can’t. The gates have all been deprogrammed for Gaia. Don’t you think I explained that to Zoe before she decided to come here?” Eva retorted.

  “There’s a way. The Straton’s private gate is the only option. I can take her home and this whole thing will be over and done with.”

  “Have you lost your damn mind? What do you think the Queen would do if she saw you sneaking about with Zoe? Besides, there’s no way she’d let you go.”

  “She’s already given me permission to leave, Eva.” His voice quieted some but it was still commanding, defiant even.

  Eva’s eyes narrowed suspiciously at her brother. “How?”

  Evan expelled his breath, showing just how exasperated he was. “She released me.” He paused for a moment as his words settled in. Zoe saw that Eva looked hurt, as though Evan had purposely betrayed her. His gaze turned to Zoe finally, an imploring expression strained on his face. “I can take you home. You didn’t ask for any of this and it’s much safer for you in Gaia.”

  “Technically this is her home, Evan. She’s of the original family. Gaia was just a temporary solution.” Eva looked to her brother and then to Zoe. She was a woman sure of her words and her purpose, not once wavering in her protests to Evan.

  “Gaia is all she’s ever known,” he argued back.

  “Her blood is Terra blood. She would be our Queen if the Stratons had never displaced her family from the Crown. She has more of a right to that title than Kyra, who for all we know isn’t even a Straton.”

  “We don’t know that she isn’t and to even suggest it puts all our lives at risk,” he countered, his face growing in anger and frustration.

  “Have you forgotten what they did to us, Evander?” she yelled. “They killed our mother and father, the King’s mother and father, nearly Zoe’s entire family, and who knows how many others? Since the day Thea sent Zoe away she’s been planning for her return. We all have a role in this, Zoe especially.”

  Evan cursed under his breath. He ignored Eva’s stare and walked straight towards Zoe, crouching down in front of her in the chair. “You don’t have to do this. I can take you home today and it will be as if it never happened. If that’s what you want.”

  She could tell by the intensity of his voice that he wanted her to agree with him, to take her away from Terra, to live as though the trip had been nothing but misstep. Eva, on the other hand, was crestfallen, sure she would be defeated by Evan.

  “What will happen to me if I go with you?” she asked, looking up at Eva.

  From the corner of her eye she saw Evan frowning, his face growing dark at the slightest suggestion she might stay.

  “I don’t know for sure. The King seemed to think that you would remember who you are and that you would know what to do once you did.”

  Zoe looked back to Evan. It was apparent that he wanted nothing other than her safety, for her to live her own life in the only home she’d come to know.

  “What about you? What happens with us if I go back?” He took a hold of her hand, his thumb gently grazing over her fingers as it had done once before. Her heartbeat increased at his touch.

  “What do you want to happen?” He was so close and his stare so intense she could barely stand to look back at him. Her breath caught in her throat. Was it an invitation for her to ask him anything?

  “Would you stay?” Her eyes widened infinitesimally in anticipation of his response. She could barely believe she’d had the courage to ask at all. She saw what she thought was a hopeful gleam in his eye, a yet unspoken promise.

  “Yes,” he answered after a long pause.

  Briefly she wondered what it would be like to have him around all the time. Would she show him around the home she grew up in, or he the world around them one destination at a time? Would they come to know each other better, become best friends and fall in love? Would she come to know him intimately, sharing her heart and body with him completely? Could he give up the only home he had ever known just to keep her safe?

  Her hand moved from his and she stood, Evan rising with her. They were both were staring at her, awaiting her response. She cast her eyes downward, trying to gather any strength she could find in the momentary absence of their imposing glares.

  “I can’t. I’m sorry.” She took a deep breath and after a moment looked up briefly to Eva, then to Evan. “A week ago I was content to die, ready and willing to take and end my own life. Maybe it wasn’t coincidence that you caught me, Evan. There’s an entire side to my life story that I’m only just hearing and if I go back, even if it’s with you by my side, I’d still be going back to the same life I’d tried to end.” She watched as his face hardened, the hope in his eyes vanishing into defeat. She turned her attention to Eva, who herself looked dumbstruck by what she’d heard. “It’s not just my life that was affected by the Stratons, but yours as well. I’ll go wherever you want me to go. Who knows? Maybe there is a life for me to remember.”

  Eva swallowed and nodded, a tight smile stretching her lips slightly. “We’ll need to leave soon.”

  “Okay,” Zoe nodded back. She returned her attention to Evan. He was staring at her through his stony eyes, his chest rising and falling underneath his crossed arms. She wished she knew what to say to make him understand. She didn’t know what the right answer was, only what felt right. There was no denying that going back to Earth would be the safer option, even practical, but it wasn’t what felt right.

  “I need to speak with you in private,” he demanded. He looked to Eva, indignantly demanding her approval.

  “I’ll gather what we need,” she excused herself before leaving the seating area.

  “Come with me,” he instructed to Zoe, his hand finding a grip on her shoulder as he lead her to his private residence. Despite his anger he was gentle with her, and she followed him willingly, not daring to protest.

  With a single motion of his hand the door opened and she stepped into the room, Evan close behind. Her eyes went immediately to the walls, the sprawling landscape of Santa Barbara surrounding her as though she were physically there. There in his synthetic home he had replicated her authentic home. It was romantic, nostalgic, and a bit ironic.

  She walked to the foot of the bed and wrapped her hand around the rich wood of one of the four posters. She vaguely recognized her surroundings, recalling the hotel room at the Canary she had stepped into for all of five minutes.

  “You don’t know what you’re doing,” he spoke from behind her.

  “You’re right, I don’t.” She turned around and faced him, her body leaning against the frame of the bed for support. “What does that say about me?”

  “That you’re in over your head,” he replied, his tone less angry.

  She shrugged. “Perhaps. When you met me I was jumping to my death. Maybe I gave up on that life because I’d forgotten about this one.” She took a deep breath of air. “I have too many unanswered questions to go back now.”

  “You’ll be safer there.”

  “Safer than what?” she asked. Her eyebrows burned into her face as she looked at him. She was exasperated. She knew he was right about being in over her head, but she’d felt like that before coming to Terra.

  He moved towards her, his concern becoming evident with each step. “The difference is I can’t catch you here, Zoe. You don’t know the Queen like I do. Even if you go with Eva and remember who you are, w
ho’s to say it will help you take back the Crown? She’s not just going to give it to you.”

  “Evan, I don’t know. For all anyone knows I could remember and decide it’s not worth it and want to go back to Earth. Anything could happen. But from everything I’ve heard there are people here counting on me to do this. It’s not just about me, it’s about them too. You heard what Eva said. Thea - my mother - has been waiting for this my entire life. It goes beyond just me.”

  “What if something happens to you?” he implored.

  “Isn’t that the point?” she retorted. “For all we know you caught me so that I could come here. What was I doing at home anyway? Finding stupid projects to distract me from unhappiness? I would have likely gone back into the same self-destructive mindset regardless. We just can’t know. How can you expect me to learn of this entire life I never knew existed and not want to explore it?” She wasn’t sure she believed it herself, but she needed to make him believe it.

  His shoulders slumped in defeat. “Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” he asked in a last ditch effort to plead his case.

  She looked at him for a moment, taking in the handsome features of his face. The sharp, square jaw, a strong and prominent nose, eyes the color of green glass beneath tufts of richly colored hair. She wanted to commit his face to memory properly, remembering exactly how he looked in case she never saw him again.

  “No. However, there is something I’ve wanted you to do.”

  She extended her arm and reached her hand out to his. He laced his fingers around hers and gently pulled her into him. She was close enough to smell his fresh scent again, her chest touching against his. She freed her hands and moved them to his neck, feeling the goose bumps prickle his skin beneath her touch as she balanced on her toes. Her eyes closed as her mouth touched his in a gentle kiss, his lips soft and full, pillowing against her own. She breathed him in deeply, allowing his scent to fill her senses. Her eyes opened as her feet lowered he back down again away from his mouth. His eyes were heavy, lidded beneath the thick stripe of his eyelashes. She felt her cheeks flush beneath his gaze.

  “You’re smiling,” he said, his own smile curving his mouth generously as he looked at her. He was right. It was impossible not to feel the way the smile filled her cheeks and opened her eyes. “And you’re beautiful,” Evan whispered.

  The smiled softened, but remained. She felt both humbled and touched by his words, not remembering a time when anyone had paid her such a sincere and wonderful compliment.

  Her head titled back as he leaned in, his mouth on hers again. The kiss was gentle, his lips parting around hers. His hands moved to her waist as he kissed her, his arms keeping her close to him. The kiss deepened, his lips capturing her bottom lip and pulling softly. When he met her mouth again she parted her lips further, inviting him in. She moaned at the taste of him in her mouth, the inviting warmth of his tongue caressing her own. Her chest became tender as it pressed against his, skin desiring to touch flesh. She could feel her pulse between her legs, the pumping of her heart reverberating against the most delicate of her senses.

  His hands found their way beneath her top, his touch electrifying her nerve endings as his hands moved up and along the sides of her ribs. She felt his desire grow as his hands moved around her, his thumbs brushing unhurriedly beneath the delicate cup of her breasts.

  Her hands moved to shoulders, feeling the breadth of hard muscle beneath the fabric of his shirt. She moved up and over until her fingers felt the muscles of his shoulder blades moving as he touched her.

  He slowed the cadence of their kiss, bringing her back to the pleasant sensation of his lips between hers. After a moment his lips separated from hers, and she found her eyes felt soft, unwilling to open as though coming out from a deep sleep. She leaned in and kissed him again, her lips moving into a smile against his mouth. She could still feel the stiffness of his body against hers, her bottom lip receding in between her teeth as she smiled happily up at him.

  “You’re smiling again,” he said, his own mouth curving into a brilliant, teeth-bearing smile.

  “You made me happy,” she whispered back, fully enjoying the sensation. She’d forgotten what the warmth of happiness felt like, how it made everything come to a standstill.

  “I must be a very lucky man.” His hands moved from beneath her blouse, his fingers trailing back down along the length of her torso before tugging the fabric down around her. He cupped her face in his hands and brought her to him again for another kiss. A small moan escaped her as he did, gently vibrating the air between their lips.

  A knock brought Zoe’s attention back to reality just outside her happiness. Although no one entered she knew that Eva on the other side, respectfully announcing that their time was up.

  A thought occurred to her as she stood still in his arms, her eyes still on the door. She turned and looked up at him, his bright green eyes locked with her own dark brown.

  “Don’t let me forget who I was when you met me, especially if come back a different person.”

  “Okay,” he promised, though to her it sounded more like a question.

  “Promise me,” she insisted.

  “I will if you promise to come back.”

  “That’s the plan. At least, I hope it is. I hope your sister knows what she’s doing.”

  Evan expelled a breath and leaned his forehead against hers, his fingers tangling with hers as he held her hand. “So do I.”

  They kissed again before parting, and then together they walked for the entryway, Evan’s hand on the small of her back as they made their way to the common room.

  Eva was crouched over the bag Zoe brought with her from home, placing items inside until it was full to capacity. She looked up at each of them as she stood and hoisted the bag’s strap up over her shoulder. “Ready?” she asked.

  Zoe looked up at Evan, then at Eva. “As I’ll ever be.”

  She stepped to the side as Eva approached her brother, her arms wrapping around him protectively, his circling around her waist. She kissed him on the cheek before taking a step backward, standing by Zoe’s side.

  “Remember, you’ll be able to find her and I’ll always find you. Keep me updated about what’s going on here, okay?”

  Evan nodded at his sister, a small smile on his face meant just for her.

  “Take care of each other.” He looked to each of them, his eyes settling on Zoe last. “Be careful.”

  Part Three

  Chapter 17: A Forgotten Place

  Zoe stood beside Evadine in the glass corridor as she peered in to the great hall of the Transport Station. When they crossed through the room together when Zoe first arrived, it was filled with people as they made their way home, their voices like an electric buzz cackling through the air. The room had emptied considerably since then, and the only sound was that of the soft padding of feet shuffling around. Crown Soldiers?

  Eva turned towards her and set the bag she’d been carrying down on the ground. In one quick motion she gathered the thick strands of chestnut hair that had fallen over her shoulders and pulled them back, looping her hair into a simple chignon.

  “I don’t recognize any of the Soldiers but we can’t take the chance that they recognize me. When we go in just keep your eyes straight ahead and try to look inconspicuous. We should be able to board the transport without any problems.”

  Zoe nodded and adjusted her own hair. She wasn’t used to it feeling so slick and straight at the nape of her neck and pulled tightly enough to give her a slight headache. She checked her own ensemble again, content that she looked as similar to Eva as she could.

  “Follow me. Remember to just act natural.”

  Eva led the way as they entered the hall, the awaiting transport sitting empty in the berth of the station directly ahead of them. From Zoe’s peripheral vision she could see the Crown Soldiers watching them, following their movements. Not a single one seemed to recognize Eva, who looked decidedly different with her lo
ng hair pulled back discreetly.

  Together they passed through the pneumatic doors of the transport under the watchful eyes of the Crown Soldiers. The interior reminded her of a futuristic rendering of a train from Earth with slick aerodynamic lines and fancy seats arranged into compartmentalized sections. Like the world around them everything was steel, glass, and monochromatic. In fact, the only color she ever really saw was in the picturesque projections of the glass walls. They took adjacent seats in the middle of the car, the bag Eva carried placed protectively between them. It only took a few moments for the transport to come alive, humming with a slight vibration as it began its departure.

  The glass wall panels came to life as they moved. Stretched out beyond them lay a wasteland of barren vegetation, wilted trees, and dried up river beds. The atmospheric light was dull and grey and Zoe couldn’t tell whether it was day, night, or somewhere in between. There were no animals scampering across the land, no birds flying in the sky, not even a sun.

  “This is depressing. Who chose this view?” she asked.

  Eva looked up from the bag she had been rifling through and shook her head. “No one. That’s Terra.”

  “What?” Zoe took a second look at her surroundings. She turned saw the real Royal City stretched out like a behemoth, all concrete and steel against the same grey sky. She stood with the city on her left instead of behind her and the wasteland to her right.

  “This is what it really looks like?” She looked from left to right, trying to understand how the dystopian landscape to her right could be the same land beneath the never-ending expanse of concrete and glass that made up the city.

  “It’s been like this for most of my life.” Eva closed the bag and leaned back in her seat, her right leg crossing over the left as she sunk into the overstuffed cushions.

  “It explains so much about Evan.” Zoe snapped out of her thoughts and sat down again, turning her attention towards her companion. “I remember him telling me he was taking a tour of the California coast, having already made his way to Ventura and Santa Barbara from San Diego. No wonder he was so enthralled by the ocean.”