Patricia Potter

by Rainbow

  As Butler placed a board over the opening, Meredith recoiled, already feeling, in her mind, the bouncing of the buggy along the jutted road they would be taking. It would be nothing less than agony for both injured men.

  Butler helped her and Lissa into the back of the buggy and spoke softly to the two horses. The carriage lurched over the muddy road, as rain continued to pelt the top of the rocking vehicle. Thinking of Quinn in the small box up front, Meredith was only slightly aware that Lissa had taken her black-gloved hand and was holding it tightly.

  Quinn wondered how he could bear the tight closed space. It reminded him of the journey to Australia, of the endless black hours with only Terrence’s gallows humor to remind him he was alive. His confinement now was as terrifying as the nightmares he’d endured the past few hours.

  The discomfort was minor. It was the darkness and walls crowding around him that nearly paralyzed him. He heard Cam’s rasping breath and tightened his hold on him. “Fight, Cam,” he whispered. “For Daphne.”

  He felt the heat from Cam’s body even through the blankets. Bloody hell. The anger, the rage that he had subdued these past years flared anew. And the grief. The deadening soul-wrenching grief. He thought of Meredith, part of him recalling the tender touch of her hand, the infinite gentleness of her fingers, the sweetness of her tears.

  Why did he cause so much suffering? So much pain?

  He’d had so much hope. He had almost believed his curse had ended, that he and Meredith could find that elusive rainbow he had been seeking, that he no longer brought death and destruction to everyone he touched.

  All he had to do to know differently was to touch Cam, to listen to him try to breathe, to hear the low moan when the buggy stuck in the mud and lurched free with a hard jolt.

  The only right thing to do now was to leave Meredith. She had Lissa. She would no longer be alone. She was strong and lovely and courageous, and she would find someone to marry, someone who wouldn’t hurt her, someone who could protect her.

  Something inside him started to crumble, to fall in so many pieces it could never be put back together. Terrible bitter loneliness took its place. He had said he would never allow anyone to get close to him again. He had betrayed that vow, and Cam was dying for it.

  Another kind of darkness closed around him, sealing off emotions, his heart.

  Chapter 27

  THE HIDING PLACE at Sophie’s was ingenious.

  Meredith had been taken by tunnel to the small room beneath the stable. She could hear the hooves of restless horses above her.

  There were two entrances, she was told. One was a trapdoor under the feet of one of the most spirited horses. Meredith now knew of the other.

  Upon arrival at the backdoor of a large frame building, she had asked for Miss Sophie, giving the name of “Merry.” In seconds she and Lissa had been whisked down to the wine cellar and eyed curiously by a tall striking-looking woman.

  Meredith had told her that Quinn and Cam would soon be in the stable, and the woman instructed her and Lissa to stay where they were while she saw to the two men. She had been gone what seemed a very long time before reappearing, her mouth grim.

  With few words, she explained that Cam and Quinn were safe in a secret room beneath the stable and that she had sent for a doctor who sometimes worked with the Underground Railroad.

  “I want to go to Quinn,” Meredith said.

  “He believes you and Lissa will be better off upstairs.” Sophie didn’t say that Quinn ordered Meredith away from the room. Instead, she turned to Lissa carefully. “I have some dye I can use to make your hair red.”

  Meredith ignored the last comment. “I want to see him.”

  Sophie turned all her attention back to Meredith, studying her closely. The girl’s jaw jutted forward, the eyes unyielding. Merry, whoever she was, wouldn’t give up easily, and perhaps she was what Quinn needed. Sophie had never seen Quinn as he had been minutes earlier. He was even worse, if that was possible, than the time just before Christmas. He had been angry then. Now, he was more like a walking dead man. She slowly nodded.

  “All right. But the other one goes with me. We need to do something about that hair.”

  Meredith looked at Lissa, who nodded and stood back.

  Sophie went to a wall lined with wine casks. She leaned over and touched a place on the bottom of one of the casks, and it swung slowly away from the wall. Sophie touched another spot on the wall, and immediately a part of the wall opened, revealing a tunnel fortified by walls of wood.

  Meredith was handed a candle and, after looking at Lissa for a minute, stooped and walked through the tunnel until she reached another wall, seemingly of solid brick. As she had been told, she pressed against the third brick on the left from the bottom, and part of the wall opened. She found herself in a small room with several cots, a stack of blankets, and a small table holding a pitcher and several cups.

  Light came from three oil lamps, two on hooks protruding from the wall, and the third on the table next to the cot.

  Meredith looked again, finally finding Quinn. He was standing, leaning against the one dark corner of the room as if afraid of the light.

  Meredith knew he had seen her. She heard his swift intake of breath.

  “What are you doing here?” he said, his voice as cold as she had ever heard it.

  “Cam?”

  Quinn shrugged. “Sophie’s sent for a doctor.”

  Meredith moved slowly to him. His eyes were unfathomable, all the light gone from them. The deep blue was almost black in the shadows.

  He broke the silence. “Where’s Lissa? Shouldn’t you be with her?”

  “Sophie’s making her a redhead.”

  “I’m sorry you had to come here, to Sophie’s,” he said, his voice totally indifferent, as if he were a stranger.

  “I’m not. Sophie’s very nice.”

  “It’s no place for a lady.”

  “I haven’t been that in a long time.”

  His eyes sparked, then died. “Go away, Meredith.”

  “I won’t make it that easy for you.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Don’t you?”

  He turned away from her and walked over to Cam, gazing down at him bleakly. Cam had lost consciousness shortly after they arrived. Something inside Quinn despaired at seeing a man that large in such a weak state.

  “What about Daphne?” Meredith’s question was unexpected, and Quinn turned around slowly, raising an eyebrow in question.

  Meredith faced him directly, unyieldingly. “Don’t you think she has a right to know?”

  “To watch him die?”

  “Damn you, Quinn, he isn’t going to die.”

  “You know something no one else knows?”

  “He’s strong, Quinn.”

  “It just takes a strong man longer to die.” His voice was flat, devoid of emotion.

  “What happened to Terrence, Quinn?”

  He looked at her this time.

  “You mentioned him on the boat, and yesterday, when you were unconscious, you kept calling his name,” she persisted.

  “You don’t want to know, Meredith. Believe me.”

  “You asked me to marry you!” Desperation made her plead.

  “It was a bad idea.”

  “You think you’re going to get rid of me that easily?”

  “I’ll see you and Lissa to Canada. Then I’ll be going on alone.”

  “What happened to Terrence?” Terrence was the remaining piece of the puzzle. The most important piece. She knew that now.

  He stared at her through those damned protective eyes. “Terrence is none of your business.”

  “Don’t do this,” she said, her voice breaking.

  Raw pain flickered through his eyes before he hid it again and looked away.

  The dismissal was absolute. Meredith knew with sick certainty she wouldn’t get any further now. But he had conceded to take them to Canada. She would change his mind on
the way. She had to.

  Just then the door to the room opened, and a young man stepped through, a bag in his hand. He quickly looked around the room, then went to Cam. “What happened?” he asked tersely.

  Quinn left Meredith and walked to his side. “A bullet wound, and then he was in the water for a long time. I’m afraid he might have pneumonia.”

  The man nodded, then focused all his concentration on the unconscious man as Quinn stood by helplessly.

  Finally, he looked up at Quinn. “I think I can control the infection in his leg, but his lungs…”

  Quinn’s face didn’t change at all as he heard what he had expected to hear. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “Pray,” the doctor said wearily. “Just pray.”

  And Meredith did, all the prayers she had learned at the convent. She prayed for all of them, for Quinn as much as Cam because she feared he would die if Cam did. Perhaps not in body, but in soul. She knew she prayed alone. Quinn remained at Cam’s side as the doctor worked. It was, Meredith thought, as if she no longer existed for him. But as she had told him earlier, he wasn’t going to get rid of her easily.

  Sometime later, Meredith heard the door open once more and Sophie stood there, her eyes questioning as they went from Quinn to Cam to the doctor to Meredith. Then she nodded to Meredith to follow her out the door where they stood hunched over in the tunnel.

  “No change with Cam?”

  “No,” Meredith said in a low aching voice.

  “And Quinn?”

  Meredith shook her head and there was a silence, one that Meredith appreciated. She didn’t think she could stand platitudes at the moment. Or reassurances. “How long have you known him?” she asked suddenly.

  “I don’t know if anyone really knows him,” Sophie said. “I met him four years ago when someone who was supposed to pick up a shipment didn’t appear. He had been given my name as an alternative.”

  Meredith looked up, her face creased with despair. “He asked me to marry him.”

  “And…”

  “And now he just wants to hide again…like he’s been hiding…from feeling anything.”

  “But you won’t let him.” Sophie’s voice was so sure that Meredith couldn’t stop a whisper of a smile.

  “If Cam dies…”

  “Dr. Smythe won’t let him die. He takes death as a personal insult.”

  “Why do you…?”

  It was a question she had wanted to ask since she and Lissa appeared at the backdoor. Meredith had been amazed at how efficiently they had been handled. Orders had been quickly given and immediately obeyed as she and Lissa had been whisked downstairs. It was clear that unexpected visitors were not unusual.

  Sophie shrugged. It was obvious she wasn’t going to answer the obvious question, why she was involved in the Underground Railroad.

  Meredith knew she had no right to ask, to persist. So she went to another question. “Is there any news?”

  “The town’s being turned upside down by bounty hunters and the sheriff’s men. They’ve closed every road, and they’re searching every boat. They even came searching here, but a bottle of good whiskey dulled their efforts.”

  Meredith’s eyes widened. “Lissa?”

  “They didn’t get that far,” Sophie said with amusement. “And she’s a redhead now. No one would recognize her from the broadsides they showed me.”

  “The Lucky Lady?”

  “Damaged some, but fixable,” Sophie said. After an extensive search, she related, the boat had been allowed to leave for New Orleans, and repairs. Jamison had convinced the law that he knew nothing of the captain’s nefarious activities.

  “Aren’t we dangerous to you?” Meredith finally asked Sophie.

  Sophie shrugged. “No one will ever find the secret room. And you, are you making any headway with our stubborn captain?”

  “He doesn’t want me,” Meredith stated frankly.

  “Oh, I think he does. Give him time,” Sophie advised softly before turning away so Meredith couldn’t see the doubt in her own face.

  But time didn’t seem to help. Cam wavered between life and death for several days. She and Lissa nursed him when the doctor wasn’t there. Meredith knew that Quinn had refused to let the doctor tend his own injuries, and she had insisted that she do it herself. He allowed it indifferently, never flinching as alcohol cleaned the cuts around his throat and chest. His eyes were clear and cold, and his mouth set in the arrogant half-smile she had seen on his face months earlier. She had learned to distrust that smile.

  His manner was as distant as if he inhabited another world and looked upon the residents of this one with bemusement. Only once, when Meredith turned suddenly, did she see the raw agony in his eyes before he was able to push it back somewhere in his soul.

  He appeared relaxed, his body folding easily in a corner of the room. But Meredith knew his background well enough now to realize what hell it must be for him to be confined in the small room. It was a measure of his enormous self-discipline that he did not prowl it like a caged animal.

  The tension, however, was palpable. She could feel it sizzling in the room, alive and dangerous and begging to be released.

  Meredith thought about ways to bring down the walls he had so securely reconstructed around himself. Blowing a trumpet, she noted wryly, would not be a wise move at this point. So she plotted an entire military campaign, complete with retreat, advances, and flanking movements.

  The retreat maneuver started when she seemed to accept his decision.

  “I’m going back,” she announced one morning.

  “Back where?” Quinn narrowed his eyes.

  “To Vicksburg. I’m going to keep working with the Underground Railroad.”

  “To hell you are!”

  She shrugged. “You said you’re going on alone. If you’re going your own way, then I’m going mine. I might even marry Gil. No one would suspect his wife.”

  “What about Lissa?” The question sounded strangled.

  “Oh, I’ll go with you to Canada and see her settled with enough money to keep her comfortable. Then I’m going back home.”

  “Bloody hell you are!”

  Time for the flanking movement. “You’ve already said that,” she observed tranquilly. “You have to do what you have to do. Well, so do I. I never should have agreed to go West with you. People need me.”

  I need you. The words hovered unspoken in his mind. He was leaning against the wall, his hands pressed behind him. His fingers dug into the rough wood as he sought to restrain perilous words from spurting out, like lava from an exploding volcano.

  “It’s too dangerous now,” he said, forcing calm reason into his voice.

  “Why? No one’s seen me. They’ve only seen a black groom. No one can connect me with Lissa’s escape; no one knows she’s my sister, and the Meriweathers will say I’ve been with them or visited other friends.”

  She was right, damn it. They had been bloody careful about protecting her. Too bloody careful, he realized now. He couldn’t stand the thought of her going back into danger. She had been lucky thus far. He knew luck eventually ran out. He had only to turn toward Cam for evidence.

  He looked down at Cam’s restless tossing figure. “Isn’t this enough?”

  “Nothing is ever enough if you want something…really want it.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Quinn said roughly, angrily.

  “Then tell me,” she challenged, now attacking. “Tell me why you’re so afraid to live.”

  “All right,” he retorted fiercely. “You want to hear. I’ll tell you. You asked about Terrence. I’ll tell you about Terrence. He was the best friend I ever had. He never gave up. Never. We would escape someday, he was sure. And he made me sure of it.

  “But there was a guard who developed a particular dislike for me. God knew it was easy for him to express it. There were rules against everything. Talking between prisoners. A look deemed disrespectful, a moment’s p
ause in cutting trees or hauling logs. The British had some rather creative punishments, including a pit filled with water. They would lower you into it and leave you there for days. If you went to sleep, you drowned. After one stay there, I was weak and stumbled as we were hauling logs. The guard started beating me with a club, and Terrence went after him. He accidentally killed the man.

  “It didn’t matter that it was accidental. Terrence was accused of murder and sentenced to die. They whipped him to death. Every morning for three days, they dragged him to the post while all of us were forced to watch. Every morning they gave him one hundred lashes and dragged him into a dark cell where his wounds festered, only to be opened the next morning. He died on the third day.”

  “Dear God,” Meredith whispered.

  “I decided then, sweet Meredith,” he said cruelly, “that there was no God.”

  “Oh, Quinn…” It was all she could manage at the moment. The horror was too great, the hell in his eyes too vivid.

  “But you haven’t heard it all, Meredith,” he continued tonelessly. “I wanted to die then, but something, perhaps it was Terrence’s last words, wouldn’t let me. I lived for him, to escape as he had planned all those years. And I did, with the help of my family who had sent a detective to find me. He had sent a letter back saying that he had located me, and would soon be able to help me escape. My father and oldest brother stayed in New Orleans, even after a smallpox epidemic broke out. They sent Brett upriver. But they wanted to be there to welcome me home, and they caught the sickness. They both died a week before I arrived in New Orleans. Like Terrence, they died for me. Like Cam almost did.” He allowed the words to soak in, to penetrate every pore of her body, every corner of her soul.

  He looked at her stricken face and ached to hold her, but the telling had frozen him. His mouth curled on one side. “I won’t let you be my next victim, Meredith.”