by Besa Mwaba
“Do you love me?” she asked him.
:”Yes I do,” replied Moses without conviction.
“Then marry me.”
“What?”
“Marry me.”
“No Maria, I think that you are too fast.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, there is still school for you if we abort…”
“I am not aborting anything. So let us forget school. School is finished for me.”
“Then just go home and then we can discuss the issue after the child is born.”
“Do I look stupid to you, Moses?”
“Look Maria, we have to be careful now…”
“If you think you can pull a fast one on me, you are mistaken my dear. I am not falling for that sick joke.”
“That is all I am prepared to do, Maria. It is either you take it or you leave it. If you need support money, I shall do it fully. Marriage is not by force.”
"Today you tell me that marriage is not by force? Are you not the same man telling me that you will climb the highest mountain for me each time you wanted to sleep with me? Aren’t you the one who was shivering with lust when undressing me?"
"This meeting is over Maria. Now leave."
“This is what we shall do, Moses. On Saturday, you and I are going to Lusaka to see my parents and announce our marriage to the elders. Other formalities will follow. That is my position.”
“Are you joking?”
“It is either that or I shall go and inform the headmaster about this.”
Moses was now shivering all over.
CHAPTER TEN
The crowing of a cock at around four o’clock in the morning woke Nawa from a deep sleep. He opened his eyes and found himself on an unfamiliar bed. He rubbed his eyes and tried to remember where he was. He looked around him and noticed the four brick walls that made up this tiny congested room. A loose wire on which were hung clothes ran from one end of the room to the other. His memory only came back after moving his hand and landing it on another human body next to him. He jerked and then saw Stella sleeping naked next to him and snoring loudly. Finally he vaguely remembered the drinking party of the previous night. But he couldn’t remember how he had found himself doing this.
Nawa got off the bed and put on his underwear, trousers, shirt and jacket and then headed towards the door. He looked for the key in the darkness but he could not find it. Although the door was locked, all it needed was a hard pull on its handle. The handle dislocated from the door and the screws spilled all over the floor. Nawa threw the handle onto the bed next to Stella, kicked the door open and then marched outside.
Nawa began to worry about what he was going to tell his wife when he got home. He knew that he was carrying a strange perfume on his body and therefore no story would work. If only he could get home before she woke up, he would rush to the bathroom and take a quick bath. At least then he would erase the evidence. These thoughts heightened his speed as he walked in the early morning darkness towards home. A few early risers were on their way to work but Nawa paid no attention to them. Eventually he began to run home. How he appeared to onlookers as he ran while his old three piece jacket flapped in the air was the least of his worries.
He reached his house, feeling exhausted and breathless. He checked for signs of life but there was none. The lights were all off and it meant that everyone was asleep. He quickly reached the door, put the key in the keyhole and slowly turned it without making any noise. The door opened quietly and he let himself into the dark sitting room. He closed the door behind him and with a smile, he sighed in relief. He removed his shoes and then began to tiptoe into the room.
“You are finally here,” his wife said belligerently while standing right in his way with her arms akimbo.
*****
“I know that the girl we found at your house was not your aunt,” said Cynthia, sitting across Moses’ desk in his tiny office at the back of the Mathematics department. Moses did not reply.
“You wanted to sleep with me but you did not know that your girlfriend was also there, right?”
"It’s none of your business Cynthia."
"You are wrong about that. You have pressed a wrong button."
“What do you want Cynthia?”
“I want compensation.”
“Are you crazy? You are just a prostitute that I picked in the bar. What compensation are you entitled to?”
“I discovered that I am pregnant and you are responsible.”
Moses felt his head spinning. Already he had to contend with Maria’s pregnancy.
“Look you prostitute. Just find the man responsible. You sleep with a lot of men every night. What makes you think I am responsible?”
“I just know. We can go for a test if you are refusing.”
Moses got off his seat. He stretched his hands and then said, “So, what do you want from me?”
“You must marry me…”
“No, no, no Cynthia. Do not even think about that.”
"Why not?"
"People will be mocking me that I married a prostitute."
“But you slept with me without any problems.”
“Look, I am preparing to marry someone else now, so forget that marriage line.”
“Alright,” said Cynthia as she got off the seat. She walked towards the door.
“Where are you going?” demanded Moses.
“I am going to see your headmaster. Maybe he will understand.”
“Please Cynthia, can we talk quietly? It has not come to that. Come and sit down. This matter does not involve the headmaster. We can solve it right here as mature people.”
“I need six months of your salary and I am out of your life.”
*****
“I…err…the car…I had a problem with the car,” blurted Nawa nervously as he faced his angry wife in the doorway of his sitting room.
"A problem with the car? Which car? We do not have a car!” she yelled at him.
“A car’s friend…a friend’s car was asking for my help.”
“What do you know about cars?”
“Sweetheart it is not what you think…”
“Oh so you now know what I am thinking?”
“Let us not wake up our lovely children…”
“I do not care!” she shouted on top of her voice. “Let them wake up. If anything, let the entire neighborhood wake up. Let them know what a useless neighbor they live next to!”
“The school function…it lasted long…way into the night…people couldn't stop dancing.”
“Oh now it is no longer the car but the school function? Let us hear it.
“It was both the car and the function. I pleaded with them to end it but it went on and on until a few minutes ago. I came straight here from the function.”
“I hear you. Right now, I want you and me to go to the headmaster and find out why the function went on the whole night.”
“No, no. Do not involve the headmaster. He was not aware of the function.”
“The headmaster was not aware of a function in his own school?” the wife shouted.
“He…he…was not invited.”
“Not invited to a function within his school?”
“He was in the toilet when they were sticking his invitation on the notice board.”
Nawa’s wife let out a mock laugh. Then she said, “I may not have gone far in my education but I know that it is not possible to hold a school function without the knowledge of the headmaster. Where did you sleep?”
“I didn't sleep, I was at the function.”
“Who else was there?”
“Moses. We can go and ask him right now,” replied Nawa, feeling certain that Moses would cover him.
“Moses? That promiscuous bachelor? The one who impregnates school girl after school girl? Only the two of you attended your so-called function? No wonder.”
“There were many others but I have forgotten all of them.”
“At forty-nine, y
ou still behave like a teenager. When will you grow up? Your friends are busy building houses for their families whereas you drink every cent you lay your hands on. Will you ever grow up? What sort of curse is this?”
“I simply lost touch with time…I am sorry. It will never happen again. I promise.”
“Oh save your breath. You have made that promise many times.”
Nawa looked down in shame. The wife shouted and shouted.
Finally she said, “Give me money for food right now.”
Nawa breathed a sigh of relief. Usually this was the signal for the end of a fight. He said, “Please sweetheart, check in my jacket pocket. Get everything from there.”
Nawa’s wife calmed down and picked the jacket from the sofa. She began searching in the pockets and then she retrieved something.
“What is this?” she yelled, waving pink, lacy knickers in his face. Nawa froze with shock and horror. He had forgotten to remove Stella’s knickers from his pocket..
“What is this, asshole?” she shouted at him. Nawa was silent. Sweat started running down his armpits.
“I am talking to you, you buttock!” she yelled.
Nawa let out a dry cough but no words came to his mind.
“So you were with a prostitute again, right? What exactly do they give you which I do not? Are you normal or sick? Answer me!”
Nawa scratched his head.
“So this was the function, right? This was the car problem, right?”
“I…I…I can explain.”
“Aren’t you even ashamed of opening your mouth? How do you think you can explain this?”
“This…it…This is a terrible mistake,” explained Nawa. “It must be that idiot of a clothes seller. Today he brought gents and ladies underwear. I bought that one for you because of the great love that I have for you.”
Nawa’s wife clapped her hands and shook her head. She said, “You bought for me a used one? One that is torn in the middle? One that is dirty and whose elastic is almost gone?”
“Then he must have sold me Mrs. Daka’s knickers by accident. I found the two talking in the staff room.”
“Listen to me you scrotum. I am fed up with all this rubbish. I am leaving with all my children and you can keep your house. Bring in one of your prostitutes. Let her try because I have failed.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Moses woke up from a deep sleep that Monday morning feeling thoroughly refreshed. He knew that the headmaster would announce this successor that morning. He was very determined that it would turn out to be he. He made a silent prayer and then got off his bed. He then took a long bath, brushed his teeth and shaved. Afterwards he selected a black pair of trousers and a blue shirt. As he was getting dressed, his mind went through the events in the period of the succession battle. Along the way he had managed to kick out the habit of flirting with school girls. He had accompanied Maria to Lusaka to see her parents and had agreed to marry her. They had charged him for the pregnancy as well. All that had contributed towards his staying away from school girls.
Also, from the time Cynthia had turned up at his school demanding to see the headmaster, Moses had dropped his habit of picking prostitutes.
These, according to him, were the only minor blemishes- in addition to the minor issues associated with the Preventive Maintenance program- on his otherwise flawless career. He still had his work experience, very good performance and of course, his bachelor’s degree. He was very sure that he would be the chosen one that day.
His conviction grew when he considered his two main opponents Nawa and Juma. Both were of inferior academic standing, he reasoned. As for Nawa, there was no way the board was going to appoint an irresponsible, uneducated, certified drunkard to hold the most powerful post at the school. He smiled when he recalled the anger on the headmaster’s face as he responded to Nawa's failure to manage an extremely simple task of improving pupils’ meals, only to plunge the school into an electricity crisis for two days. That had resulted into a riot by pupils with property worth a lot of money damaged. Among the teachers, it was termed “The Big Bungle”.
His attention now turned to Juma. That hypocritical pastor was busy carrying out an adulterous affair with the UN researcher when his wife was heavily pregnant. He had poor social skills and this would make his eligibility to be the next boss a very tall order. It had been rumored that he had once again plunged his fingers into the coffers of his local church to support a personal venture, but the church had decided to handle the issue quietly. And lest anyone forgot, he was the author of that questionnaire which had come to be termed the “Big Sex Expose” among the teachers. The headmaster had seethed with rage in reaction to that piece of pornography that Juma had authored.
In comparison, Moses felt he had beaten the other two candidates hands down. As he left his house to go for work that morning, he felt happy and confident.
*****
As his wife was busy preparing his breakfast that morning, Juma began to think of the most dignified manner in which he was going to celebrate his being appointed as the new boss at school. He did not want to over celebrate as others would think that he was not expecting it and that it had come as a surprise to him. On the other hand, he did not want to under celebrate as it would appear to others that he did not appreciate or fully understand the appointment. He had to find a balanced way.
His wife had selected a blue shirt for him to wear on top of a black pair of trousers. To her, the combination showed authority and confidence.
Juma knew that he would have no worries on his academic standing. His Teaching diploma would do the trick. Why, the previous deputy, Ms Green only had O levels to show for her academic strength, and even these, she had acquired over a period of ten years, writing one subject at a time. In addition to his paper, Juma had good experience and very good work output.
He had stopped his affair with Violet and the two were now just ordinary friends. He believed that he had moral authority to run the school as its head.
Juma knew that his well and expertly conceptualized questionnaire had not been fully accepted by his uncivilized colleagues at school. He attributed the resistance to sheer jealous.
His breakfast was brought. Juma ate slowly, making sure not to let any of the peanut porridge to drip onto his well ironed shirt. His mind then turned to his two opponents, Moses and Nawa.
Juma considered both to be pagans, drunkards and womanizers. As for Moses, he had lamentably failed to manage the very easy task of preventive maintenance. Instead of cleaning up the school, his approach which displayed a total lack of planning had already resulted in the school looking uglier, with trenches dug all over. Pupils had revolted against his style as he had been unable to control the girls.
If somehow the botched school preventive maintenance assignment did not get Moses out of the race, then his legendary affairs with school girls- which had earned him the term “The Chief Taster” among teachers- certainly would. Moses had caused a number of school girls to discontinue with their education after impregnating them. The latest case involving Maria had ended in his agreeing to marry her.
If for some regrettable reason the board still made the mistake of appointing Moses as the new boss, Juma would at once write to the Education ministry headquarters in Lusaka.
Juma then thought of Nawa. He shook his head. His lack of education was in itself a disqualifying factor. As if that was not enough, he had also botched an excellent opportunity presented to him to prove his management ability. Instead of solving the food problem involving pupils, he had only succeeded in inducing a two day blackout which had led to riots in the school. This had almost certainly closed the curtain on what was otherwise a hopeless ambition from the beginning.
Having thus reassured himself that he had won this contest with ammunition to spare, Juma gave his astonished wife a kiss on her cheek and then left for work.
*****
Nawa said a prayer of thanks in advance of his appointment to the p
osition of head as he woke up that morning. He took a long bath and then put on a pair of black trousers. He then picked a white shirt but his wife objected. She gave him the blue shirt instead.
“You look like the new headmaster now,” she said. Nawa gave her a hug.
Their marriage had improved after they had been counseled by elders. Nawa had not touched the bottle in public for three weeks already, and he had done away with whoring as well. It was only the habit of smoking which was proving difficult to break completely.
He was a changed man now and this had been noticed by all. He knew that he had no paper but his years of long loyal service campaigned for themselves. He was the oldest of the three competitors, and the other teachers would find it easier to show him respect as their boss. His work output was very good and his dedication to duty was unquestionable.
Nawa knew that some small mind would refer to his small miscalculation leading to a minor, normal power outage as a dent in his career but he knew that everyone who mattered had already forgotten about it.
Nawa then thought of Moses. Between Moses and his degree, there was no connection. He performed and acted like one who had not seen the inside of the classroom. He could not resist the allure of young flesh and this had completely thrown him off track in his career. Now he was married to Maria, whom he had not wanted to marry in the first place. Before impregnating Maria, he had been in a relationship with Precious. Before Precious he had been with Lillian and Grace at the same time, and before them, there had been Pauline. Pauline had taken over from Jane, who had fallen pregnant and had to be expelled. Jane had earlier replaced Mary. It was no wonder that Moses found it hard to control girl pupils during the preventive maintenance program. He had slept with most of them and they had simply refused to join the laborious exercise. The prefects had tried reporting the resisting girls to Moses, but his hands were tied. As a result the exercise had died a natural death, much to the chagrin of the headmaster.
Nawa then thought of Juma. He felt that Juma was a pretender at church. His true character was that of a thief and an adulterer. He could have fooled some people sometimes, but he was not going to fool all the people all the time.
