by Christa Lynn
“Shh, it’s all right, Jo,” Kane says as I pull away from him and sit up, pulling the blanket up over my chest.
“What’s wrong with me?” I cry out.
He sits up and tucks me into his chest and strokes his fingers through my hair. “There is nothing wrong with you, you’re a strong woman and—”
“And what, Kane?” I glare at him.
“And you’ve been through Hell throughout your life, and, for once, pleasure was about you, not someone else.”
I close my eyes and rest against him, trying to take comfort in what he just said. It makes no sense to me, but then it dawns on me that he didn’t force me to do what we just did. He made no effort to hurt me nor to force his own pleasure on me.
“What’s happening to me?” I ask, the tears now coming full force.
“You’re learning to trust again, and to feel things those assholes at Brampton never allowed you to feel. I don’t expect to gain your full trust immediately, but know this; I treasure a woman, and I believe women should be strong members of this world, not just a free-for-all for angry men. And under my watch, you’ll learn that.
“Under your watch?”
“Yes, and my protection. Will I shelter you and hold you back? Hell no, I want a partner, not a rag doll.”
“I don’t belong to you, Kane.”
“Not yet, sweet one. Not yet,” he says as he wraps me in his arms, making me feel secure and no longer alone.
Kane
Jo curls her warm, soft body against mine, and I fight back the urge to take her. I know it’s not what she needs right now, and I’m amazed she let me take this as far as she did. I know she needs to feel safe and secure, even though she has a hard exterior. Earning her complete trust will take time, and now I’m wondering if leaving is the best thing. I know I need to go, to find more fighters that will side with the Mercs and be willing to give their lives for the US. There are pockets of us all around, but the Heretics like to try and convert the Mercs, baiting them with food, women, and shelter. It’s those guys we need to bring down and bring to justice, whatever that means in this cruel world we live in.
And if Lance or Luke are on the other side, then they need to be dealt with. The thought that the Heretics have infiltrated the Mercs does not set well with me. So I’ll go, but we’ll make it a shorter trip, as I don’t want Jo alone for that long. Dale will be here, as well as his men, but I only trust her safety with myself. I’ll be the one that brings her out of her shell and helps her become the woman she was destined to be. Me, and only me. God help anyone that gets in my way.
Jo is sleeping calmly beside me so I tuck her in and quietly get out of bed and get dressed. Emma is probably wondering what happened to her, so I peek into Emma’s room but she too is sound asleep. I exhale a deep breath and head down to get my gear ready to leave at first light.
“Where ya been?” Abe asks as he blunders into the kitchen as I chug back a large gulp of whiskey.
“Upstairs with Jo,” I say without fear of letting him know. I need to claim my territory with him. I know he has a secret thing for Emma, but he too likes women, so he needs to know right off the bat that Jo is mine.
“Ahh, battling her demons?”
“You could say that.” I smirk, but quickly change the subject. “Everything ready for the morning?”
“Yeah, Luke says he’s ready and Lance has been put on detail for the day shift, Dale and I will take nights.”
“Good, if Luke has any secrets, I’ll pull them out of him and shove them back into his throat if needed. The Mercs are no place for a mole, and if he is in fact a traitor, he’s as good as dead.” He thinks it’s fun sending women’s body parts down the river? Wait until he sees what I have in store for him. I’ve read enough books on psychology and sociology from the old library—he can’t hide from me.
“If anyone can get into his head, you can, Kane,” Abe says, stuffing bottles of water and whatever food he can find in the cabinets into a bag.
“Leave some for the girls,” I say as I remove some of the items and put them back in the cabinet. “We may not be gone as long as I originally planned.”
“Why is that?”
“Jo.”
“Ahh, back to your master plan, huh?”
“There is no plan, but there is something about her that makes me want to stick close to the compound. Let’s head toward Arrow's Crossing instead of OKC, work our way around the river and see who we can pick up along the way.”
“Arrow's Crossing?”
“Yeah, see if Jo’s old homestead still stands. She mentioned a dug out shelter in the back of the property that might still exist. She told me her father had it stocked to the rim with weapons and food, so it might come in handy. And I can scout it out and see if the whole property can serve as an escape location if we get taken over.”
“And you want to stop Jo from going,” Abe says, I look at him with curiosity. “If you can come back here and inform her that her place is gone, she’ll give up the search for her family.”
“I don’t think she’ll ever give up that search. And I can’t blame her. She was ripped away from them, if I were her I’d want to know, too.”
“But you did,” Abe says, his eyes shooting daggers at me.
“That’s different, Abe, and you know that. You were there, for fuck’s sake.”
“Yeah, but you also turned a blind eye to it, and—”
“And what, Abe?”
“And instead of changing what was happening, you let it go.”
“I was sixteen, fucker. What in the hell was I supposed to do? I was still wet behind the ears and had no idea what kind of repercussions would ensue.”
“Yeah, you did, your aunt did too. But you didn’t listen to her, either. In the world we have here now, you need to listen to your gut not your dick, Kane.”
“Fuck you,” I scream back at him, ready to pummel him.
“Easy, guys,” I hear Emma behind me, her voice trembling.
“Hey, Emma, I thought you were sleeping?” I ask her, my anger taking a back seat. Abe has never held back with me, and that’s why we’ve been friends for so long. He tells me how it is and keeps me in check, even though sometimes I want to kick his ass.
“I was until I heard you guys down here. What are you doing?”
“Getting our supplies ready to go, you should go back to bed.”
“I will soon, is Jo up?”
“No, she’s asleep.” She nods and leaves the kitchen. She was kind of in a fog, so I expect she was half asleep. But then I remember seeing the two of them in the bathtub and my dick jerks to life, my mind willing it to retreat.
I’m jolted out by a nudge on my arm. “Where’d ya go, Kane?” Abe asks, his eyebrows raised.
“I’m right here,” I say, turning to grab the backpack and setting it on the table, unzipping it to look in and make sure we have all we need.
“Sure,” he says, smirking.
“Okay, so Arrow’s Crossing? First light?”
“Anything for you, bro, let’s get some rest,” he says as he turns toward the stairs.
Abe disappears and I grab one more swig of whiskey and set the cup in the sink, blowing out the light on the lantern. I make my way up the stairs to my room, shedding my jeans and t-shirt, and crawl into bed.
My mind takes me to where she was looking at that map and how her finger lingered on that one area that I assume is her old home. It should only take two days to get there, check it out, and then head back. Maybe we can find some much-needed supplies in that bunker and pick up a few good men along the way.
I’m calm and relaxed, however, it kind of feels like the calm before the storm. We’re headed into unchartered territory, so anything is possible. But I need to see that bunker and hopefully retrieve needed items. If Jo’s father was as prepared as she said he was, there should be some interesting things in there. It may even be wise to take the horses tomorrow so we can strap supplies to them and walk th
em back if needed.
Then I can come back and report to Jo if it’s worth taking her. I don’t expect the house to be there, and if it is, it’s probably just a shell of what it once was. Maybe I can find her a few treasures from her childhood, something to hold close to her heart.
Her heart.
“Damn it, Kane, stay away from her heart,” I tell myself as I roll over and hug the old pillow and force my eyes closed. This world is brutal, and I can’t let myself fall for her. She’s only been here a few days, and I’m finding that she’s tugging on my heart, especially after earlier. She allowed her vulnerability to show and I just hope I didn’t scare her. What I wouldn’t have done to sink deep into her, but I know I can’t—not yet. She’s not ready for that, but soon. I find myself replaying our intimate moment and my dick gets so hard it could break glass. I will my mind to press it down. I know I need rest because this trip to Arrow’s Crossing is going to be brutal, and my gut instinct tells me it’s not going to be a pleasure trip, but if I’m going to get this army up and running full steam, I need men.
“Dad, no,” I scream at my father as his fist connects with Mama’s face, blood now oozing from her nose.
“What, boy? You think that since you’re as tall as me, you can take me? Well, bring it on, fucker!” he yells as he lunges at me, but I’m quicker so I move out of the way, his knee punching a hole in the sheetrock.
“Dad, stop,” I say, my hands up in mock surrender.
“Come on, badass, let’s see what you’ve got,” he growls at me, cracking his knuckles.
“Kane, stop it,” my mother cries from the corner of the kitchen floor where she landed when my father punched her for the last fucking time. Her cheeks are wet with tears, her mascara running down her face, blending with the blood.
“No, Mama, he’s hit you for the last time,” I say as I jump on my father, my fists hitting his face and my knees in his gut. I punch and kick until my father goes limp on the kitchen floor, my mother rushing to his side
“Kane, what did you do?” she cries.
“I ended it, Mama,” I say as I back up, resting my back against the wall and sliding down to sit on the floor thinking I’ve killed him. I rest my face in my hands for a few seconds before his fist connects with my jaw, my own blood spewing across the cabinet behind me.
“You will never put your hands on me again, boy. I will kill you,” he says as he hits me again and again, my head now spinning and my eyes blurring. But I get a second wind and rise to my feet, tackling my father to the ground.
“You will not hit her again!” I yell.
“The fuck I won’t, she’s a no good piece of shit. All women are, and it’s best you learn that now, boy. In the end, men will rule this world, and women will be pawns,” he screams as he pummels his fist into my head, the sound of bone cracking as he meets my nose.
“Lou, stop! You’re gonna kill him!” I hear my mama cry out before the world goes black.
I wake up later, I’m not sure how long later, but the house is dark, and I’m in my bed, the skin on my face stuck to my sheets. As I peel my face off, the wounds re-open and blood pours out. I grab an old t-shirt and press it against my nose and turn the light on. I look at myself in the mirror above my dresser and blot the blood away until it stops. The house is quiet except for a muffled cry coming from downstairs.
My head is spinning, but I slowly descend the stairs to see Mama sitting in the family room, her favorite quilt draped over her limp body. “Mama?” I ask.
“Oh, Kane, baby. Are you all right?” she asks, jumping out of the chair and cradling my face in her hands.
“I’m okay, where is he?”
“He left,” she says, turning her back toward me.
“Good, I’m glad he’s gone.”
“Don’t say that, he’s your father.”
“He’s not my father, he’s an asshole.”
SMACK!
My mother’s hand lands on my cheek on my disrespectful comment and my head reels backward.
“What was that for?” I ask. “I defended you to him, and you smack me?”
“He’s gone because of you,” she yells, spit flying from her lips.
“And I’ll say it again, good! You don’t deserve that, Mama. He’s been beating on you for years, and I finally snapped.”
“He’s right, though,” she says.
“What do you mean?”
“In the end, women are nothing.”
“No, Mama, Dad made you nothing. And now he’s gone, and I’m glad. I’m sorry, but I hope I never see him again, and I hope you don’t, either. Let him go find someone else to beat up on, because he’s never hitting you again.”
“Oh, baby, I know you’re right, but what will we do without him?”
“We’ll live without being in fear of dying,” I say as a loud crashing sound wakes me. I sit up in bed and grab my piece on the table beside me and wipe the sweat from my brow. I cock it and quietly step into the hallway, a soft glow coming from downstairs. I slowly creep down the steps, careful to avoid the one that has the squeaky board and make my way around the corner.
“Dale, what are you doing?” I ask, my heart racing with tension and relief to see who it is.
“Sorry, man, I knocked the arms bag over. I didn’t mean to wake you.
I look at the bag, and it’s unzipped, the butt of a gun sticking out.
“Were you in the bag?” I ask. He looks at it and shakes his head.
“No, man, it was like that when I walked in here.”
“Where was it?” I ask, knowing I left it by the back door.
“Right next to the table, why?”
“Nothing,” I say, unzipping it and making sure nothing is missing. Dale is eating crackers and chasing them with moonshine.
“You should get back to bed. Aren’t you and Abe headed out at dawn?”
“Yeah, I guess I should,” I say as I re-zip the backpack and set it back where I had set it before, double checking to make sure it’s zipped completely up. I set it against the wall in a manner that I’ll know if it’s been moved when I come back down. I can’t imagine that anyone would mess with the weapons, but if Luke came in here, anything is possible. I’ll be glad to get him away from here and pick his brain, find out if he’s the one dismembering women and sending their parts downstream. If it is him, he’s as good as dead, and I have no problem leaving his rotting corpse in the middle of nowhere for the buzzards to eat him.
I watch him walk out of the kitchen toward the stairs and disappear. I glance around the room before blowing out the lantern and going back up myself. If I don’t get some restful sleep, I’m not going to be worth shit tomorrow.
I get settled back into bed and listen to the quiet that envelopes me and finally drift off to sleep, this time peacefully.
Jo
I can’t sleep, so I’m just lying here in the quiet of night. Kane was up earlier as I heard him downstairs and it took all I had not to go to him. He’s leaving tomorrow for God knows how long and I’ll be here with Emma and the other guys, being domesticated and shit. I wish he’d let me go with him to OKC, maybe take the long way and head past my home. Not knowing about my brother and mom is driving me crazy, as it has for the last decade. I know my dad didn’t make it, because he never came back after the initial explosions. I still remember that orange-green hue that filled the night sky as the door to the bunker slammed shut.
I scurried to the ladder to crawl up but Hank pulled me back into the deep hole that my dad had built. I wonder now how long that place had been around, as Nelly and I never crossed it. She would have stopped when she felt something other than dirt under her feet, so I can’t imagine it had been there long. But it was long enough to fill it with food and supplies that kept us there for the days following.
One wall was covered in canned and jarred food, the other with clothing, blankets, and pillows. The other with bottled water, stacked on top of boxes of weapons. There were so many weapons, and I
couldn’t imagine at the time that we would have needed them being cooped up in a metal box.
I found out soon enough how wrong I was.
“Hank, what’s that sound?” Mama asks quietly, looking up at the steel door that has us securely locked down here.
I follow her eyes up and we all stare at the door, willing it not to open. We haven’t seen the sunlight in days, if the sun even still exists and I would like some fresh air. So I start to climb the ladder, but Hank pulls me back down. “No, Jo, stay down here. I’ll go see what it is.”
“No, Hank, let’s just be quiet and maybe they won’t find us,” Mama says quietly as she blows out the lantern.
“Mama, they can’t see the light through the door,” Hank says.
“You don’t know that, now come back here with me and your sister. We’ll hunker down in the corner and pull the blanket over us.”
“Mama, hiding isn’t going to do us any good. If there is someone out there, and they want us, they’ll get us,” Hank says, though he does what she says to avoid her getting upset. She’s had a hard few days without Daddy here. Hell, we all have. It’s been quiet the last few days, and these are the first sounds we’ve heard since we got down here.
We cuddle in the corner, Hank with a semi-automatic rifle in his hand. He hands me and Mama smaller pistols and looks at us both. “Don’t be afraid to use these,” he says as he sits down between me and Mama and pulls us both close.
I tug the blanket over us and we sit for what seems like hours. We still here the noises overhead, and, suddenly, they stop. Complete silence, and after hearing noises for so long, the silence is deafening.
