Freedom to Trust [Freedom, Colorado 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Melody Snow Monroe

  Determined to be more of a parent than she had last week, she didn’t go out at night except once to check on the surveillance equipment she’d placed at Marr’s house. During that time Holly said she’d watch Mark while Dani and she were working.

  They did check in with Conner and Harper by phone, but so far Marr had been a no-show. Maybe setting everything up again took time—assuming Marr was behind this mess. Sussman had called a few times, but he said he didn’t want them to start another case until this one ended. His business seemed to be picking up, which implied theirs might, too.

  Dani strolled into her office. “I’ve been thinking.” She pulled up a chair.

  “Always a good thing.”

  “Brady and Lucas are kind of getting on my case about being gone so much at night.”

  “I hear you.” She explained about her guilt over not being with Mark.

  “I agree Mark needs more of a role model than Mrs. Cunningham, though he has Garth and Zane.”

  Her stomach hadn’t settled since she realized they’d never be happy together. Not with her hang-ups.

  Nikki shook her head. “I don’t think it’s going to work out with them.”

  Dani’s mouth dropped open. “Are you kidding me? I thought you were falling in love with them.”

  That was the problem. “I was. I mean I did, but Zane is into BDSM and I’m not.”

  Her fists tightened. “What did he do? Did the whip cut you or something?”

  “Jesus, no. He’s never even spanked me.”

  Her eyes widened. “Why not? It’s the best feeling in the world.”

  Nikki had given a lot of thought to this. “I might like to be spanked, but—”

  “But what? Don’t they satisfy you enough?”

  That made her laugh. “Not a problem.”

  “Spill. You’re talking crazy here. Zane and Garth not only seem to adore you, they care for Mark. Think of him.”

  “I’m trying to.” Discussing her sex life wasn’t exactly high on her list of comfortable things to do, but Dani would understand. “He held me down and I freaked.”

  Her lips thinned. “Didn’t you tell him about what happened to you?”

  “No.”

  “Then what did he say when you told him you didn’t like to be held down?”

  “Just that if I didn’t like it, he wouldn’t do it again.”

  Dani shook her head. “So now what? You’re going to throw in the towel?”

  “You don’t get it. Zane is a Dom who wants to do all sorts of Dom stuff to me. He’ll get really frustrated, then bored, when I keep telling him no over and over again.”

  “You don’t get it.”

  She got it all right. “I do, too.”

  Dani scooted her rolling chair over to her and clasped her hands. “Do me one favor?”

  “What?”

  “Talk to your men. Trust me when I say they’ll accommodate your every wish and desire.”

  She wasn’t sure she was ready for the rejection. It might be better to walk away first. “We’ll see.”

  * * * *

  Zane set down his binoculars on the table in the fire tower and picked up his phone to call Nikki. Ever since they’d made love the last time, something had been bothering her, and he was determined to find out what. Sure, she’d said she didn’t like to be held down, but there was something she wasn’t telling him.

  Garth was out checking campsites to make sure the visitors hadn’t left a mess. Fortunately, during the winter, only a few campsites were used, so their job wasn’t as time-consuming as it was during the summer months. Winter mostly consisted of checking for avalanches and saving people who were injured on the slopes, and the summer was for putting out fires. The in-between months, like now, were usually calm—the operative word being, usually.

  He dialed and Nikki answered on the first ring. She sounded cheery, but when he asked if she and Mark could come over to dinner, she said no. “Why not?”

  “He needs to study.”

  It was a Friday night. Could this be any lamer?

  While he was thrilled Mark was coming out of his shell in that he wanted to take karate lessons, he needed to get out, too. Zane saw no reason why she couldn’t meet him tonight. Tomorrow, he’d be taking Mark to Denver for two days, and he seriously missed her.

  “How about just you, me, and Garth?” Pushing her to do something she wasn’t ready for wasn’t his style, but he hoped she’d tell give him a clue at least why she was pulling away.

  “I’ve been so busy, I need a little time to myself.”

  Excuses, excuses. He knew it. The second he held her down she’d disengaged. Thankfully, she’d called out her safe word or he might not have known it made her so uncomfortable. But damn, it wasn’t as if he’d blindfolded, gagged, and tied all four of her limbs to the bedpost.

  He and Garth had discussed that they needed to take it slow with her. Garth said he’d been pure vanilla. Despite him loving to spank a woman, he said the sex was better than he’d ever had. Unfortunately, Garth was the more easygoing of the two. Maybe it was the fact Zane had been born first.

  He leaned back. “You deserve a night out once in a while. How about Garth and I meet you tonight at the High View Bar and Grill? Say seven?” He rushed on to prevent her from tossing out another excuse. “I’ll even hire a babysitter for you.” That way they could have her all to themselves.

  “Who?”

  He liked she was protective. “Ashley.” Nikki liked his sister.

  She inhaled, then let out an audible breath. “Okay.”

  He pumped his fist. “Tonight then. Seven o’clock. I’ll have Ashley call you about picking up Mark.”

  This was so going to work out.

  “See you then.” She disconnected.

  He detected a hint of excitement along with her reservation. Tonight, he’d get to the bottom of her issues. He checked the time. It was a little after four. His shift ended at five thirty, which would give him time to get ready and meet Nikki at the restaurant. Close to five, Forest Gruden, who lived in this tower, would return for his nighttime watch. Until then, the health of the forest was under his watch.

  Zane dialed his sister and gave her the details. “I owe you one, sis.”

  “I don’t mind. You know I love kids, and Mark is quite special.”

  Zane smiled. “He is at that.”

  Happy he’d be seeing Nikki, he texted Garth that they were on for tonight. Zane picked up his binoculars and scanned the horizon for the umpteenth time. He did a sweep and quickly jerked back to a spot. His mind was still on his date tonight and not on his job until he spotted smoke billowing up from North Ridge.

  “Holy fuck.” His heart pounded in his chest and he held the binoculars tight. He prayed it was a campfire, but there were no sites allowed in that part of the wilderness for good reason.

  They hadn’t had a fire in many months, but he automatically shot to high alert. He rushed over to the Osborne Fire Finder and lined up the sight. He needed to find the directional bearing of the smoke in order to alert fire crews. He aligned cross hairs with the smoke then jotted down the degrees on the graduated ring.

  Next he made the call every tower operator dreaded. The volunteer fire department would need time to gather their gear. Once he gave the information, the fire chief would coordinate the operation.

  Zane grabbed the backpack containing his fire suit and other gear and headed down the ladder. Once at the bottom he jumped in his car and called Garth. “We’ve got a fire. Suit up.” He gave him the coordinates.

  “I’ll meet you there. I’m not that far.”

  If nothing else, Garth might be able to start a firebreak before Zane got there. He drove fast, bouncing all the way down the dirt road. The North Ridge was several miles away. On this terrain, it would take him a while. He gripped the wheel tight and focused hard on not breaking an axle. He reached over to his glove compartment and withdrew his walkie-talkie. Communications needed to be a su
re thing, and if there was thing that was a given, it was that cell phone service sucked in the woods, especially when mountain ranges jutted up.

  As he drew near, the smoke increased. Even with his windows rolled up, the acrid stench filled the cab. The road came to an end, and Zane pulled to a stop next to Garth’s truck. He grabbed his map and once more checked the trails. He’d hiked most of these woods, but he wanted to make sure he took the quickest route.

  He studied the contour lines to see how steep of climb he was in for. The path sloped uphill then leveled off. The fire appeared to be on the ridge. They were in for a long fight as the fire could take hours to contain. That meant he had to let Nikki know he could no longer meet her for dinner.

  He grabbed his cell, and when he turned it on, the “no service” signal flashed. “Damn.” There was nothing he could do about it now.

  He jumped out, grabbed his backpack, and donned his gear. He picked up the walkie-talkie and called his brother. “I’m just got here. You need anything?”

  “Nope. Me and my Pulaski are digging a ditch right now. If the others arrive in time, we might be able to contain the fire.”

  Garth didn’t need to spend time talking to him. “Be right there, bro.”

  He grabbed his Pulaski, a combination ax and hoe, and ran up the trail. The added gear would tax his system, but with the amount of adrenaline coursing through his body, he wouldn’t feel a thing. The heat intensified as he climbed to the ridge. When he reached the top, he slapped on his helmet, goggles, and gloves. Garth was a hundred feet away, clearing the area of brush and digging the fire gap.

  He rushed up next to him and tapped his brother on the shoulder. “You contact the chief to report the size of the fire?”

  “Yeah. He’s orchestrating the planes as we speak.”

  “Water or chemical?”

  “Water.”

  That worked for him. They could continue working. “Any idea what started the fire?”

  Garth shook his head and continued digging. Zane could tell that if help didn’t get here soon, the fire would cause a lot of destruction.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Nikki nursed her second glass of wine. After an hour of waiting by herself at the Mountain View Bar, she was pissed. Then she became worried. She’d tried calling both Zane and Garth, but their cell went to voicemail.

  Kristy came over to her table. “You want to order dinner?”

  Nikki had told the waitress she was waiting for two men. She was almost too embarrassed to say they’d stood her up. “I think I will. The men called and said they might be delayed for a while. I’ll have the salmon.” Now they’d reduced her to lying.

  “Sure.”

  Zane had said they’d meet her at seven. Had Ashley not picked up Mark, she might have thought she’d gotten the time or day wrong. She debated calling their sister, but if her friend knew about something terrible that had happened, she would have called. Nope, the men must have changed their mind. Why not call, though? If nothing else, her men were considerate, right?

  The television was on above the bar, but the seven o’clock news mentioned nothing about a forest fire, which would be the only reason why they hadn’t come.

  Maybe this was the universe’s way of telling her that being with men who had dangerous jobs wasn’t right for her.

  That’s stupid. You have a dangerous job.

  Once her meal arrived, she’d eat then leave. To hell with the men. Ten minutes later, the food came, but she’d lost her appetite.

  “Say Kristy, you haven’t heard anything about a forest fire, have you?”

  She shook her head. “No. There are a lot of guys who come here who are volunteer firemen, too.” She looked around. “I don’t see any of them right now or I’d ask.”

  Nikki waved a hand. “That’s okay. You can bring my bill when you have a chance.” She didn’t want to wait around any longer than necessary.

  Kristy pulled her tab from her pocket. “Here ya go.”

  “Thanks.”

  Nikki ate her meal as quickly as she could, not taking the time to savor the fish. It was prepared well, but her mind wasn’t on the flavors. Disgust mixed with fear. She wanted to be mad, yet something told her the men were in trouble. She hoped they hadn’t decided to drive to Black Hawk. Oh, shit. Had Marr’s men caught them?

  She had Conner’s number in her cell. Not wanting to have his cell phone ring at a bad time, she texted him, asking if Zane or Garth were there. She hoped the little chime that indicated he had a message wouldn’t be a problem.

  Less than a minute later, Conner respond with a no.

  Damn. She wouldn’t find out anything sitting here. She paid her bill and decided to take a quite look at their house. If they were at home watching television or something, she’d let them have it.

  The drive over ate up her stomach. She didn’t want to find them at home, yet she didn’t want to learn something bad had happened to them either. Nothing good could come out of the meeting, yet she had to know.

  While she knew she wasn’t right for her men, she wanted to be the one to break it off, not the other way around. She and Garth seemed to be right for each other, but she understood that he and Zane came as a package and that she couldn’t take one without the other. Zane might say he was okay with a woman who freaked when he held her down, but he wouldn’t be in the long run.

  She’d been fretting so much over seeing them again that she almost missed the drive to the Milosino property. She jerked the car to the left and bumped down the pitted drive. She slowed. Her heart was beating way too fast.

  When she turned down the drive to the men’s home, the lights in the house were on and both cars sat in the drive. She slammed on her brakes.

  “Bastards.”

  She sat there and watched the house. Did she really want to catch them with another woman? That seemed highly unlikely. Ashley wouldn’t have been able to hide it if her brothers were dating someone else.

  She shut off her phone, did a three-point turn and headed back the way she came. Zane had arranged for Mark to spend the night with Ashley, presumably so the men could both be with her. Now that wasn’t going to happen.

  She hung a left on state road 294, jumped on 119 for two miles, and then turned right on Evergreen to head home. Her stomach ached the whole way. She had to work to keep the tears at bay and from running off the road.

  She truly had thought she was in love with both men. It wasn’t that they stood her up that upset her, it was mostly that she wasn’t right for Zane. Her head was so messed up she wasn’t sure if she’d ever look at love in the same way again.

  Once home, she parked and rushed inside. Mark had brought Jackpot with him to Ashley’s, so the house was deathly quiet.

  She dropped her purse on the sofa and shrugged out of her coat. A nice hot bath and a glass of wine was in order. Maybe her dilemma would become clearer with a long soak.

  Now she wondered if he’d reneged on his promise to take Mark to Denver to the gaming convention. If he did, it would break the kid’s heart. Then Zane would be facing one pissed off woman. Screwing with her heart was one thing. She was an adult, but to promise a kid something as wonderful as a gaming convention and not show was low.

  She gathered the bottle of white wine, a plastic cup, and her iPod, and headed into the bedroom. She stripped and tossed her clothes on the bed, not caring if she made a mess. Her side table drawer sat ajar and the shine from her cuffs winked up at her.

  For some reason, she withdrew them from the drawer and twirled them around. She’d kept them as a reminder of where she’d been and why she’d left. Those memories needed to stay locked up, no pun intended. She dropped them on top of the key and shoved the drawer close.

  Once in the bathroom, she ran the water until it turned warm, then dumped in a ton of bath salts, hoping the therapeutic blend would help take her mind off the men.

  With a full glass in hand, she stepped into the tub and sank down. This almost made
up for her shitty day. She stuffed the buds in her ear and turned on her favorite tunes. The sad country songs made her smile.

  In one gulp, she drank half her glass. The Chardonnay went down smoothly, and she relaxed back. As much as she tried not to think of Zane and Garth, her mind pictured them naked. Regardless of their actions, both were truly amazing men—at least to look at. She let her mind drift for a few seconds as she recalled how both Zane and Garth could bring her to climax by sucking on her tits, her nipples puckered. What was wrong with her?

  Touching herself was not her style either, but her pussy was in need. Tomorrow, she might have to stop at Darla’s Divine Destiny Store of Pleasure and pick up a few items. Sex shops weren’t her thing, but now they might have to become a place she frequented. Once she’d tasted what it was like to soar higher than she’d ever imagined, she yearned for that bliss again. No one would judge if she bought a dildo or two.

  She closed her eyes and changed her focus to those hunky male country-western singers and relaxed for the first time in hours.

  * * * *

  “Hurry up, damn it.” Zane paced while Garth finished getting dressed.

  “Call her again.”

  Zane had tried three times and each time her cell went to voicemail. “I bet she’s not answering because she’s pissed.”

  Garth shook his head and finished buckling his belt. “Couldn’t be helped. We aren’t responsible for forest fires.”

  “I should have radioed the chief and had him call Nikki.”

  Garth stopped. “Listen to yourself. We don’t use our communication devices for personal reasons. You know that.”

  He did, but Nikki was fragile. She’d jump to the wrong conclusion when they didn’t show. News of the fire wouldn’t come out until after the chief returned to town and let the media know. The next report would be at ten, which was a half hour from now.