Seeking Vengeance

by McDonald, M. P.

  Sam's arm went around her shoulders, and she snuggled closer to him. His chest rumbled when he chuckled. “I can assure you, what I felt the first time was not gratitude. If that's all it was, I'd have sent you a basket of fruit or something. No, that night and last night was definitely pure attraction. What I was going to say before you cut me off was that I felt like I was dead for a year and suddenly, I'm alive again.”

  Her breath caught when his hand moved lower and stroked her upper arm. He turned her towards him and his eyes met hers. “Am I crazy?”

  “If you are, then I am, too.” Molly smiled and shook her head. “I’m scared to death though because Kelsie is getting attached to you. It's also something that never happened with the few men I've dated in the last couple of years.”

  “I'm getting pretty attached to her too, but it's her mother who’s taking up residence in my heart.” There was a smile in his voice.

  She put her arm across his chest and lifted her face to him. He buried his free hand in the hair at the nape of her neck, and with the slightest pressure, angled her head. The faint light reflected in his eyes as his gaze danced between her eyes and her mouth. Anticipation built inside of her, becoming unbearable. His lips were only inches away.

  He lowered his head, his mouth soft and warm against hers. She deepened the kiss, leaning into him. Their tongues met with a flash of heat, sending a tendril of fire through her veins. She ran her fingers up into his hair, then down to cup his jaw.

  “Sam…”

  Molly had no idea what she was pleading for, but it didn't matter because his mouth covered hers again as his hands roamed her body, pushing the covers out of the way. He pulled her onto his lap, turning her so he had full access. Wrapping an arm around his head, she bent, placing kisses along his jaw up to his ear. Encouraged at the low moan her kiss elicited, she ran her tongue along his ear, breathing lightly into it. A shudder swept him and she felt his excitement push against her thigh.

  His voice was ragged as he said, “Molly?” He sought her gaze, but he still held her breast, his thumb brushing against her nipple distracting her from the question smoldering in his eyes. After a moment, he voiced it, “Do we have time before Kelsie’s awake?”

  Molly glanced towards the door. As if on cue, she heard a soft knock. “Mommy?”

  “Apparently not.” She sighed and stood, tugging the sheet with her, suddenly shy. “I’ll be out in a minute, Kelsie.”

  Sam gently tugged the sheet from her hands. “Don't. You look beautiful.” His arms circled her waist from behind, and a second later, his lips nuzzled the side of her neck. Her legs seemed to turn to liquid as she leaned back eyes closed, against the solid wall of his chest. “You’re making this difficult.”

  He chuckled and nibbled her earlobe, whispering, “No, you’re making this hard.”

  Her eyes flew open and she laughed, giving him a playful elbow in the ribs.

  She caught his hand as he moved it up to her breast and laughed as she gave a gentle tug. “Come on. Time to make breakfast.”

  * * *

  That night, Sam opened his arms in invitation as Molly returned from the bathroom and she was quick to snuggle into bed beside him. He loved the way she fit against him. Absently, he stroked her arm and she sighed, her breath fluttering over his chest.

  He could get used to this. He'd never felt a connection to a woman like he did with Molly. They had already been through so much that it was hard to believe they had only known each other for a short while.

  Everything between them felt right except for the timing. He still had a mission to carry out and she was leaving today. He had to avenge the deaths of his son and mother. Not just to keep his vow to himself, but to prevent the same tragedy from happening to someone else.

  Molly turned over, her eyes searching his. “Why are you doing this, Sam? Why are you trying to protect my brother? You could walk away right now. I know you want to find the enforcer, but knowing what you want to do to him terrifies me.”

  Sam loosened his embrace and leaned away. It had always been his intention to kill the man. Whatever came after that hadn't concerned him. There was nothing left for him to care about and if he went to prison for murder, then so be it. He wasn't ready to give up on his plan to end the enforcer's miserable existence, but now as Molly watched him, her eyes wide with fear and Kelsie's tear-streaked face popped into his mind, he felt the first moment of doubt.

  “I don't know. I have to think on it.” It was the best he could do right now. For a year he'd been picturing every possible way of killing the monster who'd so casually given the order to torch Sam's mother's home, not caring about the lives of the innocent people inside. His only goal had been to send the strongest warning possible to keep Sam away.

  “What about me? What about us?” The moon brightened the room and her eyes shone as they searched his face.

  He knew what she was asking, but he couldn’t give her an answer. Not now. He didn’t even know where he was going to be tomorrow night, let alone next month or next year. “I don’t know. Once this other stuff is settled, we can focus on what comes next.”

  Even in the dark, he saw the hurt in her eyes. He smoothed her hair back. “I can’t believe I’ve only known you for a little over a week, but the one thing I’m certain of is that I care about you more than I’ve cared about any woman. It’s all I can give you right now.”

  She nodded and inched closer. “I feel the same.”

  He tried to deny the joy that rose in him at her words, but his attempt was futile. The feeling stole into every nerve and muscle of his body, filling him with a warm glow.

  A moment later, a cold wash of fear drenched him. Had he put Molly and Kelsie at risk by becoming involved with Molly? What if they were targeted like his mother and son had been? Before, he’d been worried because of her connection to Johnny, but what if they knew that she was here with him now? What if they found out about the relationship? He hadn’t known they had broken his cover before, and it had cost his mother and son their lives. He had ridden all over the state looking for Howard, and it was almost certain that word had reached Howard. In fact, Sam had counted on it. He had hoped to draw Howard out of whatever hole he lived in.

  Molly rose on one elbow, her other hand warm against his stomach. “What's wrong?”

  He wanted to pretend everything was fine, but even without speaking, she must have sensed the change in him. Sam didn't want to cause fear, but he couldn't keep her in the dark—not when her child's life could be at stake.

  “I think I made a big mistake. I should have thought it all through, especially since I’ve experienced it first-hand. It'll only make it harder on both of us.”

  She withdrew her hand, her eyes wide with shock. “What do you mean?” Her eyes narrowed as she tapped his chest. “You swore you'd never do anything to hurt us. What was that? Just a lie to get me into bed with you?”

  Sam shook his head. “I'd never lie to you. I will admit to poor judgment though, in not thinking this through.” He let his head fall back against the headboard with a thump. “There's more I have to tell you. After what happened to Sean, I vowed to get revenge on the Ravens’ enforcer. I didn’t expect to live through it, or if I did, I’d end up in prison. It didn’t matter to me before.”

  “But it does now?”

  “I want to make him pay. That desire will never go away, but I don’t want to lose you in the process.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “First I need to convince you to stay a few more days. I just want to be sure you’re safe. Will you do that for me? I don’t think Howard has connected me to this house, but the guys who followed us from your house are sure to have told Howard about you and that I was there too. He knows I’m looking for him, and that means, you’re at risk too. It’s like you have a double whammy hanging over your head. First, Johnny, then me. I’m terrified that Howard will try to get to me or Johnny through you and Kelsie. He’s ruthless and he’s al
ready proven that he’ll kill innocents to send a message. I was so hell-bent on getting Johnny away, and finding Howard, that I didn’t stop to consider that he’ll realize that he can send a message to both me and Johnny by hurting you and Kelsie.” Sam closed his eyes and shook his head. How could he have been so stupid? His desire for vengeance had sapped his ability to think clearly. To think as he’d been trained to think.. “Will you give me a few more days?”

  Molly tilted her head up to meet his eyes and he read fear in hers, but there was also something else lurking there. Guilt? He shook it off. It was his own guilt reflecting in her eyes. She finally nodded. “Yes. I want it over, too. I feel like our lives are on hold.”

  * * *

  Sam held Molly the rest of the night and wished morning would never come. He had no choice. He had to go find the man who had killed his son, and in doing so would ensure Molly and her daughter's safety too.

  Around two a.m., he heard a car pull in the driveway, and after a door slam, Johnny loudly thanked Victoria for the good time. Victoria's reply was inaudible, but she sounded annoyed. Sam grinned against Molly's curls. It took a lot to get Victoria in a bad mood. Johnny must have done something to really piss her off.

  Johnny's curses were loud in the quiet house as he seemed to careen down the hallway, bumping into the wall several times.

  Worried about Kelsie waking up from the racket, Sam flung back the covers to go talk to him when the door to Johnny's room slammed, rattling the windows in the house. Molly started in her sleep, but didn't awaken. With an ear cocked towards Kelsie's room, Sam slid back into bed, but held his breath waiting to see if the noise had awakened the little girl. The house was silent, and Sam closed his eyes with a sigh.

  In the morning, it took very little convincing to get Johnny to go. His eagerness surprised Sam, but he didn't dwell on it. He had too much on his mind. There was a lot to be done. Sam needed a new bike as his was back at Molly's and they couldn't leave Molly without a vehicle, so that meant finding one to buy. Sam knew a guy in the area who always seemed to have one for sale. He fixed bikes but sometimes the owners couldn't pay for the repairs or were only fixing them so they could be sold, so the guy had an ear to the ground about the best bikes for sale. By late afternoon, Sam had paid cash for a good used bike. He'd also secured enough cash to get Molly through a month if need be. He'd had the phone reconnected, since cell coverage was sparse. The next day, he took Molly and Kelsie shopping for items they hadn't brought with them and some extra clothes. He opened another bank account and transferred enough money to get them through several months.

  If it hadn't been for the threat looming over them, the excursion would have been fun. Every minute he spent with them sealed them in his heart. His girls. Molly was the kind of mother he'd always wished Sean would have had.

  More and more often, his thoughts of Sean brought a smile to his face instead of daggers of pain to his heart. If only they could live like this forever. He tried to fight his feelings. The timing was all wrong. Love was supposed to come when he was ready for it, not like a bolt from the blue.

  Sam sat down to dinner, keenly aware that tomorrow night, he'd be in another town and already a sliver of pain stabbed at him. “This is great, Molly. I'm no good at cooking fish and this rice is fantastic.”

  Molly smiled and said, “You keep catching them, and I'll keep cooking them.”

  Sam grinned. He and Molly had taken Kelsie fishing and with all the chattering Kelsie did, he was shocked he'd caught anything, but the bass and walleye had been more than enough for a meal. “Deal.”

  “Why do you have to go, Mr. Sam? It's not going to be any fun here without you.”

  Molly's smile died and Sam felt a mouthful of rice stick in his throat. They had told the little girl that Sam and Johnny had to leave to take care of some business, but he had been unprepared for her tears. Even now, as another fat drop rolled down her cheek, he was torn between wanting to make her feel better or savoring thought that she'd miss him when he was gone.

  “I don't want to leave, punkin', but I have a little job to do, and as soon as it's done, I'll be right back here.”

  Kelsie moped and poked her fork into her dinner. “I hate fish.”

  “That's not true, hon. You used to love fish.” Molly smoothed Kelsie's hair off her forehead and said, “Try the rice. I think you'll like it.”

  He caught the worried glance from Molly, but could only shrug helplessly.

  In bed that night, Sam held Molly, almost afraid to move for fear he'd forget the feel of her warm curves pressed against him. He kissed the top of her head.

  “I don't understand why you have to find this enforcer guy, Sam. Why can't Johnny just move to another state or something?”

  Sam sighed and tightened his arms in a gentle squeeze. “I wish it was that easy, but these gangs, they have connections all over the country. If Johnny surfaces somewhere, you can be damn sure that somebody is going to get the word back to the Ravens. The only possible way to get him in the clear is for us to find the enforcer, set him up and get him to admit to what he's done.”

  “Won't that get Johnny in trouble too?”

  “I wish I could guarantee what kind of deal he'd get from the DA, but I can't. I can only speak up for him. My goal is for him to get off light with little or no time. Possibly one of those work release programs. He's managed to fly under the radar so far, which is a miracle that might work in his favor. Besides, it’s not just Johnny he’s after. By now, he’ll know about me and you, or at least be pretty close to putting two and two together.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Molly waved as Sam and Johnny rode out of the driveway. Crossing her arms, she leaned against the pillar on the edge of the porch. Logically, she understood what Sam was trying to do, but it didn’t make it any easier. She was worried for his safety and her brother’s, but with a sigh, she pushed off the pillar. There wasn’t anything she could do.

  Sam had left her an ATM card and given her the PIN, so she had access to money. He said he had a few accounts and had transferred a sizeable amount to get her through a few months if she had to, but he had promised to be back well before then, probably in just a few days. She wandered through the house. Kelsie was still sleeping, so she went into Sam’s room and made the bed, resisting the urge to pick up his pillow and hug it to her.

  The house already seemed empty. Restless, she went to the kitchen and began cooking pancakes for Kelsie. She told herself that she didn’t miss Sam already. It had only been a half-hour. It was just that the house was so quiet with just her and Kelsie in it, ignoring the fact that only she and Kelsie lived in her home and she should be used to it. She went to wake up her daughter hoping that once Kelsie filled the house with her chatter, everything would be fine.

  The next few days, Molly spent the mornings with routine chores while Kelsie played with a few stuffed animals and Barbie dolls they had picked up on their shopping excursions with Sam. In the afternoon, they headed to the beach for a few hours of swimming and playing in the sand. Dinners were grilled chicken breasts, hamburgers or hot dogs.

  By the fifth day, Mollie had to get out of the house and see other people. She loved Kelsie more than life itself, but she was going to go nuts if she had to play Barbies one more time. At home, Kelsie had her friends in the neighborhood or the TV, but Sam had discontinued cable television shortly after his son had died, since he hadn’t intended on coming back. He had offered to get it re-installed, but Molly hadn’t wanted him to go the trouble. Besides, it would do her and Kelsie good to get away from television for a while. There were loads of books in Sean’s room that were the perfect reading level for Kelsie. In her mind’s eye, she had pictured reading aloud to Kelsie every night before bedtime, but the reality was that Kelsie fell asleep before Molly could finish more than a few pages. All the swimming and playing outside wore her out, but that left Molly with long evenings with no one to talk to and no television to fill the silence.

 
; Tonight was no different. The sun hadn’t even fully set although it was after nine. Bored, she picked up the book she had been reading at the beach and made herself comfortable on the sofa. For a half hour, she tried to dive into the story, but instead of getting lost in the pages, she was lost in her thoughts. Sam was foremost. What was he doing? Was he okay? Wondering was torture, so to save herself from imagining what horrible things might be happening, she replayed every intimate moment she and Sam had shared.

  A knock on the door made her jump to her feet, the book falling to the floor with a thump. She didn’t know anyone here, but maybe it was a friend of Sam’s. That was the most likely possibility, but there was also a remote chance it could be one of the Ravens. Unsure of what to do, she hesitated until she heard a familiar voice come through the door.

  “Sam? It’s me, Victoria.”

  Molly rolled her eyes and opened the door. “Hey, Victoria. Sam’s not here right now. Is there something you need?”

  The other woman frowned then shrugged. “Is Johnny here?” Her eyebrows rose in an expression of hope and Molly relaxed. So this was the real reason. “Sorry, he and Sam went out.”

  Victoria pouted. “Will they be back soon?”

  “I’m not sure. They were taking a road trip on their motorcycles and playing it by ear. You know men. They don’t plan anything.”

  “Oh. Well, I suppose that will be good for Sam with the year anniversary of little Sean’s death coming up soon. Maybe he’ll find some peace out on the road.”