Stumbling Through

by Steve Shadow

  “Nice to meet you Mattie; I was the first one in the building and we have some pretty cool neighbors. You got anymore stuff downstairs? I’d be glad to give you a hand.”

  I followed her into the apartment and set the box down. The place was all fresh and new with a lingering odor of paint. I told her to check everything out and keep a list of any problems. The management company was very good about taking care of things especially as I had become friendly with the owner. I made a few trips down to her car and we got everything upstairs and put away. She told me she had to get back to work and would not be moving in until the next day when her furniture was being delivered. I got a real hot feeling off of her and told her to knock on my door tomorrow when her stuff was being brought up and I would give her a hand. She put her hand on my arm and thanked me profusely while staring into my eyes. She had an intense stare that was a little disconcerting. Her eyes were a deep hazel. She had a rounded, pleasant face that I guess would best be described as cute. But there was nothing cute about her eyes; they were flat and cold. We agreed she would come get me when her stuff arrived the next day.

  I walked her down to her car and we shook hands. Her grip was strong and she held on to my hand just a little too long. As small and as cute as she was there was something about her that was both attractive and repellant. She gave off a very strange and exciting vibe. As she pulled away in her little Ford I waved and wondered where this would lead. I went back upstairs and got ready for a Friday night on the town. My assistant manager was in charge of the theater this weekend so George and I were hitting Rush Street to see Rufus. They were a great band and always drew large crowds of good looking woman. They had two lead singers and the girl lead had an incredible voice and an odd name that I could never remember.

  George and I hit Papa Milano’s for some dinner and then got to the club for the first set. I knew the manager so we never had any trouble getting in. It was a wild night. We danced with every woman that was willing. Towards the end of the night we met two lovely ladies. They both lived on the southwest side but this week they were house sitting for a cousin who had a luxury condo on the lake. After the club closed at 2, we drove them to north Sheridan Road and the condo. It was really beautiful. The ladies, GeeGee and Monica, set to making frou-frou blender drinks and I rolled a couple of joints and the party began. George and I were always up for anything but these two were exceptional. In the end I think they were more into each other than us but that was fine with me. After the all-nighter we drifted off to sleep and did not wake up until late in the morning. I rolled over and opened my eyes. I sat up quick because some guy was changing clothes in the bedroom we were in.

  “Hey, dude,” he said. “Looks like you guys had a real party.”

  “Uh, yeah, I guess we did. Is this your place?”

  “No, Monica is my old lady and we’re staying here while she house sits.”

  I was a little leery of this situation. Monica was sprawled out, asleep on her stomach and I was naked beneath a sheet. “Uh, so you’re cool with the scene.”

  “Sure man, just sorry I missed the party but I’m pulling double shifts. I’m Vince. I just came home to shower and change. I got to get back to work. You guys take it easy. See ya’ later if you’re still here tonight.”

  I reached out, told him my name and shook his hand. He turned and left the room. I fell back on the bed and sighed with relief. Monica and GeeGee finally got up. We rousted George and they made us all some eggs and coffee. The girls wanted to go to the beach for the rest of the day. George and I put on pairs of Vince’s shorts and traipsed out to the back of the building which had a pool and beachfront. We brought down a cooler full of beer and cokes and lazed around until the sun began to set. I was about to nod off when I remembered Mattie Long and my promise to help her. I told them I had to get to work. George, needless to say, did not want to leave. I left him there and went back upstairs. I got into my clothes and walked to the next block where my car was parked. On the drive home I could smell the smoke and booze on me from the club last night. I felt clammy and sticky from the sun and the sand.

  What should have been a fun night, and I guess it was, only seemed to make me uneasy. I began to wonder if maybe this shit was getting a little old. I was almost 30 and still running around like a young kid. Lately I had been hooking up with a lot of teen aged women who all had little girls and were on their own. I thought that the guys that knocked them up were assholes for not taking any responsibility but maybe I was becoming one of those guys. Shit, this was a real downer. I guess I was just tired and needed a shower and some more sleep.

  I parked in my spot under the building and shambled upstairs. When I got to my door I was sorry I had ever offered to help Mattie. The vibe I got off her should have been warning enough but the prospect of fresh pussy always trumped any common sense that I had. Fuck, I was in no mood for moving stuff and tried to open my door as quiet as I could. I snuck into my place and shed my clothes on the way to the bathroom. I took a long hot shower. I was drying myself when I heard a pounding on my front door. I wrapped a towel around my waist and peered through the peep hole. It was Mattie.

  “Hey, Doug; I know you’re in there. I could hear the water running. Open up.”

  I opened the door but before I could blab some lame excuse she slapped me hard across the face. I staggered back and raised my hand to my cheek. The towel fell to my feet. I covered my crotch with both hands and stood there like a fool with my face burning. She slammed the door behind her and got up in my face.

  “You said you would be here to help me. I had other help and told them to leave because I had a new friend who promised to help me. What? I didn’t measure up to your standards? Played me for a fool and then tried to sneak in? I won’t be treated like that.”

  I was still in shock and only stared into her cold eyes. She looked down at me and stepped back and put her hand to her mouth and started laughing. She had a high pitched giggle that was infectious. I began to laugh along with her as I picked up my towel and covered myself. She plopped down on the mattress which I was using as a couch. She was barefoot, wearing an old t-shirt and shorts. Her legs and feet were beautiful.

  She held out her arms. “I’m sorry I got so mad and slapped you. I was so pissed; I had to lug all the stuff myself. With each trip I just got more and more angry. Why didn’t you knock on my door and tell me why you didn’t show up? Why sneak in? What are you, a little kid?” “Are you fucking nuts?” I yelled. I wasn’t laughing anymore. “I don’t owe you any explanations. So I didn’t show up. I was busy and why should I knock and explain myself. How about we just forget we ever met and you go home and stay there. You’re lucky I didn’t slug you back.”

  Now I was pissed off. She just sat there with her legs splayed out. She had a nasty little grin on her face which was, despite my anger, turning me on. And then, in a flash, she changed. She put her hands on her knees and brought herself up off the mattress. Her face crumbled all at once and tears started running down her cheeks. She stepped forward and put her arms around me and kept sobbing. Through the tears I heard her say that she was sorry. She was pressed up against me and despite myself, I was getting hard. I know she felt me against her stomach. I took her arms and pushed her away.

  “Jesus Mattie, stop crying. I understand why you got mad. I guess I’m the one who should be apologizing. I stayed over at a friends place and overslept. I guess I was ashamed that I forgot your move and didn’t want to face you.”

  She pulled some tissue from her pocket and wiped her eyes. She looked so sad and pitiful that my anger dissipated and all I wanted was to make things better.

  “Hey, listen, it’s Saturday night. Let’s celebrate your new apartment. Let me make things up to you and take you out to eat. I’m starving. There’s a great little Italian place only a couple of blocks from here. I know the owner; you like Italian food?”

  She peered up at me from under her red rimmed eyes and nodded. She looked so sad a
nd tiny and miserable that I just wanted to hold her and say soothing things. Instead I asked her if I could get dressed. She smiled and said she would go back to her place and change. I promised to knock this time and get her in 15 minutes.

  I went to the bathroom and brushed my hair and my teeth. While I was getting dressed I began to wonder just what kind of girl this was. In a very short span of time she had gone from a vicious irrational hellion to a weeping, helpless girl to an oddly sexual being and now she was going out on a dinner date with me. I couldn’t figure her out. I just hoped she wasn’t going to turn out to be one of those psycho bitches that you can’t get rid of. Maybe I should follow what they said about screwing around with people that you worked with: Namely to not shit where you eat. But, of course, when did I ever listen to reason when it came to women? Never!

  Mattie and I left the building and walked to the restaurant. We had a nice dinner and told each other our back stories. After we ate I told her I was beat and she said she was tired also. She asked me if I would come to her place for dinner after she had everything fixed up and I said I would. When we got back home she asked if I wanted to come in for a drink but I said I was too tired. I said we could do it another time. The truth was that I was all screwed out from the night before and needed a break. I was also wary of getting involved with her even though she seemed perfectly normal after she

  got over her anger. I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. She smiled and we said good night.

  

  The next day I called George and told him about my new neighbor. He said he was anxious to meet her. I asked him what had happened after I left him with the ladies at the condo last Friday. He told me he spent the whole weekend there. The party seemed to go on non-stop until Monday morning. He went into detail about GeeGee’s insatiable lust and how even he and Vince had trouble keeping up with her. He asked if he could bring her over to my place on Saturday night for another session. She had some special treat for both of us. As much as I was intrigued by Mattie, I could not resist another go-round with GeeGee.

  “Hey, man, why don’t you ask your new neighbor to come over? I know GeeGee would dig her.”

  “George I hardly know her. I don’t know if she’s into chicks. We only went to dinner once and the subject of sex really has not come up although she did see me naked on Saturday.”

  “What? How the hell did that happen without any sex? I thought I was the goofy one.”

  I explained to him what had happened.

  “Well, she seems pretty cool for not freaking out. Shit, if she ain’t into the scene she can just go home. What is it; five steps?”

  “Yeah, sure man. I’ll see what I can do.”

  

  I was busy the rest of the week with problems at the theater. I wasn’t getting home until after one in the morning and by then I was so tired that all I could think about was just crashing. I had no time to think about Mattie. It wasn’t until Friday night that I got all the theater’s myriad problems sorted out and was able to take a break. I was about to enter my place when Mattie’s door opened and she peeked out.

  “Hey stranger; long time, no see. You sure get in late.”

  “Oh, hi Mattie. Yeah, the theater doesn’t close until midnight and then I always have something to do. How have you been?”

  “You know how it is. I just go to work and then come home and get busy getting everything in order. You want to come in for awhile?”

  “Uh yeah, I would but I am really beat. I just want to get some sleep. Listen, my buddy George is coming over tomorrow night with a girlfriend of ours. Maybe you would like to stop by. Things tend to get a little crazy at my place so I just want to warn you but if you want, come on over.”

  She looked at me quizzically. “A little crazy? Crazy how? You mean like drugs and sex and stuff?”

  “Well, yes, sometimes.”

  She gave me a sly sort of grin. “Well, I’ll see. Goodnight Doug.”

  She closed her door and I opened mine. I guess if she came around tomorrow then I would get to know a lot more about her.

  George and GeeGee showed up the next night around 7. She had some purple micro dots with her. I had not taken acid for awhile but in the past it had always proven to be a pretty cool experience. We dropped the acid and sat around listening to music and drinking wine. The stuff took hold and we got naked and went into some sort of tranced out sex scene. The walls bent and twisted and the colors shimmered in my eyeballs. I was babbling about some sort of nonsense when we heard a knock at the door. We all froze in paranoid fear. George and GeeGee freaked out and ran and hid in the bedroom closet where they knelt down and giggled. I got up and peered through the front door peephole. I turned to the others and shouted, “It’s my next door neighbor, Mattie. Should I let her in?” They said nothing so I opened the door. Mattie walked in wearing a minidress and her knee-high black boots. My wacko friends came out from the bedroom. She took a look around and laughed.

  “Don’t you guys look fucked up? What the hell are you on?”

  I told her and introduced her to George and GeeGee who just lay on the mattress giggling.

  “Well, I might as well join the party. Give me something to drink.”

  She then pulled her dress over her head, removed her boots and underwear. I just sat there with my mouth open. I was having trouble staying upright and collapsed on the mattress with the others.

  “Wine is in the kitchen. Some joints are there too. Bring ‘em in and lets have a few puffs.”

  Mattie turned and headed for the kitchen. She had a beautiful ass that swayed above her long legs. When she came back I offered her some acid but she said she would stick to the wine and dope. She joined in the evenings festivities but kept asking me to come to her place so we could be alone. I had no desire to leave the others and told her we could get together another time. After a couple of hours we were pretty wasted and Mattie got up and said she had to get some sleep. The three of us were splayed out and barely coherent. We waved goodbye and she left.

  “Man, she is a pretty lame fuck,” George said.

  “She sure ain’t into women,” said GeeGee.

  “Jesus, I hope she ain’t pissed off.” I said. “I thought she was pretty hip walking in on 3 tripping nudo’s and being so cool. Man, just give her a chance; she just needs to know us better.”

  “Yeah, well I think she knows us pretty good.” George mumbled. “Fuck, at least she smelled good and tasted good.”

  GeeGee smacked George. “Hey fuck face, what? I don’t smell good?”

  George held his hand to his red face. “Yeah, you do, GeeGee. Just lay back down and I’ll prove it.”

  I fell asleep to a chorus of slurping sounds playing next to my head.

  

  The summer rolled on and the Cub’s looked legit for the first time in years. My theater was near Wrigley Field and I could hear the cheers of the crowd when the home team scored. I was busy with the on-going remodeling of the theater and only saw Mattie once in a while. Everyone was jacked up over the coming moon landing. That night, on the way home, I ran into her coming out of the Greek diner under the El Station.

  “Hey, Mattie, hold up.”

  She turned and smiled. “Hey Doug; are you just getting home?”

  “Yeah, It’s been a long day; how you doing?”

  “I’m fine. Can you believe they are circling the moon right now? I guess they plan to land on it tomorrow.”

  We both looked up to try and see the moon. We continued walking home.

  “What are you going to be doing to celebrate the moon landing?”

  “I don’t know, Mattie. I really didn’t think about it.”

  She took my arm and pulled me close. From under her bangs she shyly looked up at me. “Why don’t you come over to my place and we can watch it together. I’ve got some things to tell you and I’ll make sure we have a good time. I can even make the ultimate sacrifice and cook us something.”

  I had my do
ubts about getting any further involved with her after the small orgy at my place. She seemed to vacillate from a shy, needy girl to a strong, demanding woman. I found the mix to be both heady and off-putting. However, the thought of her luscious ass won out and I agreed to come over the next night.

  It was July 20, 1969. Along with the Kennedy killing in 63 and the Democratic Convention in 68, this was a date that everyone would always remember. My memories of the moon landing, however, stay with me for reasons other than the conquest of the moon.

  

  Sunday rolled around. It was a hot and humid day so I just sat around the apartment reading the fat Chicago Tribune and its 20 different sections. I ended up doing the big cross-word puzzle all day. The whole paper was filled with news and it was all about the moon landing. I guess it was a big deal but I kept thinking of what all those billions of dollars could be doing to alleviate problems here on earth. While going to outer space was certainly a great technological achievement I was not sure what the benefit to mankind in general was. But, then again, what did I know?

  Mattie had said to come over around 5 so I cleaned up and grabbed a half gallon of red wine and went next door. She opened up at the first knock. She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt with no bra. She looked very tasty and I was looking forward to landing on her moons and exploring her craters.

  “Come on in. I made some crab puffs and spinach dip. Oh, thanks for the wine. You bring any dope?”

  I leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek. “Sure, babe, I rolled some sweet little numbers just for you.”

  She had her television on and Cronkite was blabbing away. I opened the wine and we sat at her small table and ate and drank. We made small talk about work and the idiots we had to put up with. I was getting horny watching her nipples swell under her thin shirt. She cleared away the dishes and we moved to her small two-seat couch. I lit up a joint. We inhaled deeply and drank more wine.