Love Regency Style

by Samantha Holt

  She gripped the sheets as swirling pleasure gathered between her thighs. Eyes still tightly shut, she wriggled against his fingertips. It grew to be too much, became too extreme—how was she to bear it? Fear, like a bird trapped, fluttered in her chest.

  “Stop!” she begged.

  He froze and drew back.

  “Please, it is too…” She didn’t know how to describe it. She had never felt the likes of it before. Lilly saw his jaw work as he considered her. She feared he intended to leave her so she curled her hands over his shoulders. “Will you not kiss me?”

  Kissing, she could tolerate.

  “Of course.”

  He dipped to kiss her, hand moving away from between her thighs. His lips swept over hers with more tenderness than she thought him capable of. She missed the touch of his tongue but didn’t want to anger or upset him.

  Lilly clutched his shoulders and his muscles flexed against her palms. Was she brave enough to do anything more? She always thought of herself as a bold woman but clearly, when it came to Lord Hawksley, he melted away her resolve.

  Making the decision for her, he shifted back and began to unbutton his shirt. A gnawing ache sat low in her belly but her stiff body refused to let her do anything other than gape as he revealed his torso to her. The golden hue from the lamp enhanced his tanned coloring. Did he spend time out of doors shirtless to gain that color? Her mouth dried when he flung the shirt aside and set to work on his trousers. The ripples in his stomach flexed. She’d been aware of a strong body beneath those clothes but had no clue as to the effect it would have upon her. Michelangelo’s David could not compare to Lord Hawksley. Lilly had no way of knowing, but she suspected not many men were built like this.

  The strange urge to taste those ripples struck but flew from her mind when he slipped off his trousers and drawers. Lilly barely masked a startled sound. Michelangelo had never crafted anything that looked like that either.

  That was meant to go inside her? She put a hand to her mouth.

  “I hope, Miss Claremont, you are not laughing.”

  Her eyes widened but she saw a grin tease his lips. “No, of course not. It is… it is very large,” she hissed.

  He let out a depreciative chuckle. “You’re good for a man’s self-esteem, Lilly.” Lying back down next to her, he tugged on her chemise. “Shall we take this off?”

  Lilly clamped her hands over herself. “No! I…”

  Humiliation burned her cheeks. She was going about this all wrong, she knew, but he was so astounding. How was she to measure up with her dull hair and merely pretty looks? He would surely take one look at her and send her from his bed. She had made it this far, she couldn’t have him send her away now.

  Lord Hawksley released a long breath. “Very well. Keep it on.”

  “Are you… are you going to do it now?”

  “Lord, Lilly, I know you are nervous but you’re not making this any easier.”

  “I’m sorry.” Lilly fought the heat burning her eyes and closed them lest tears spill.

  “And stop apologizing,” he snapped.

  She felt him settle between her legs and his manhood brushed her folds. Sheets bunched tightly in her hands, she braced herself. He made no moves, only came down to kiss her. He scattered kisses down her neck and to her shoulder where her chemise slipped down. Lilly gasped as a pleasant tingle shimmered through her. Lord Hawksley kept pressing kisses to her neck—up and down and then behind her ear until her legs dropped to the side.

  “This may hurt a little,” he warned and buried his head against her neck. His hot breaths teased her skin while he pressed forward.

  Instinctively, Lilly tensed, even as she commanded her body to do otherwise. At first she thought it might not hurt but he kept pushing and the sharp sting made her cry out. Lord Hawksley paused, then continued invading her body. Tears sprang from behind her closed eyelids and she held her breath.

  “Lord, so tight,” he whispered harshly.

  Lilly did not know if that was a good thing. He remained still on top of her and slowly the pain eased. When he finally moved, her sex still ached but she let out a breath when she realized the sharp pain had gone.

  “I cannot—” He groaned and rocked into her, using one hand to hitch a leg around his waist. “Damnation, so tight.”

  His movements increased in intensity. Lilly released the bedding to clutch his shoulders and let him pound into her. She had no idea how to respond. Her sex was still sore, her body ached all over from tension but a warm, budding sensation uncoiled in her every time his shaft slid against her tender flesh, completely unlike when she brought herself pleasure.

  It built and she heard her own moans—faint and far away as if she were no longer in control of her body. Lilly dug her nails into Lord Hawksley’s muscles.

  “Oh, Lord Hawksley,” she cried.

  “Evan,” he said tightly.

  “Evan,” she said on a breath.

  With a grunt, she felt him tense between her thighs and his great body shuddered. The unfurling sensation low in her belly dissipated as soon as he eased out of her and she opened her eyes when his seed hit her inner thigh. Evan tilted his head back and milked himself before rolling away.

  Disappointment and shame heated her cheeks. Chemise tangled around her waist, she knew she was on display but couldn’t bring herself to move. She flinched when a damp cloth touched her skin.

  “Keep still,” he commanded and proceeded to clean her up.

  Lilly suffered the embarrassment of him cleaning her with tightly clenched teeth and she stared at the ornate ceiling above. With all the gentleness of a mother tending to a child, he pulled down her chemise and tucked the blankets about her before dressing. He left his shirt open but made it clear he had no intention of staying. Her heart throbbed painfully and her vision clouded. She had displeased him. Giving up her innocence had been for nothing. He would send her away, she just knew it, and she would have nothing to show for it.

  “I shall let you rest,” he said quietly, standing at the end of the bed.

  She nodded but didn’t respond. It might come out a foolish blubber if she tried. Instead, she curled onto her side and waited for him to leave. The door clicked shut and she drew in a shuddery breath. That was it, she supposed. On the morrow, he would likely ask her to leave.

  Chapter Eleven

  Evan quickly tucked the letter he had been reading into his jacket pocket as Lilly entered the dining room. A trip to London would be called for soon. He hadn’t planned to be there for another week but it seemed his accountant needed to meet with him.

  A tiny cough from her drew his attention away from his problems in London. She stood by the door and observed as he buttered some toast.

  “Will you not sit?”

  Hands behind her back, she shifted uneasily. “I… I am not all that hungry.”

  Evan narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you tired? Unwell?”

  Dark shadows haunted the pale skin under her eyes and they looked a little red. Damnation, had she been crying? Pain fisted his heart. He had never meant to make the woman cry. He’d thought leaving her was the best option—she clearly did not want him to touch her further.

  “No! No, I am fine. Just… I have packed my belongings. I see no reason to delay—”

  “Delay?” He put down the toast. “Delay what?”

  “My leaving,” she muttered, staring at her feet.

  He perused her dress, a pale green thing that flattered her slender waist and full breasts but didn’t bring out the color of her eyes properly. He frowned. Did she always dress to match the room on purpose? Against the grey and green wallpaper, she almost blended in. Soon he would have her dressed in newer fashions. If he could persuade her to stay. His terrible attempts at trying to be gentle had obviously frightened her.

  Evan didn’t want her to leave. He remained composed but the desire to jump up and demand she stay made his feet twitch. “And where shall you go?”

  “Home
.” She lifted her chin.

  He didn’t know if the cousin had arranged to leave her house empty now he had agreed to write off the debt but if she left, their deal would be broken.

  “You would go back on our deal? Do not forget, Lilly” —he stared her down— “that we have a contract.”

  “I have not forgotten but I thought…” She frowned. “You wish for me to stay?”

  “Yes, I wish for you to stay,” he barked. “What manner of riddle is this? Come and sit.”

  Lilly scurried over and Evan stood to pull the chair out, ushering the servant who had stepped forward back. He waved the man from the room. If this conversation went the way he suspected it would, Lilly did not need nosey servants listening in.

  Hands in her lap, Lilly stared at them. Evan took a moment to study the creamy skin of her neck. She had enjoyed him kissing the sensitive skin there. Her delicate body had shuddered every time he nipped or sucked there. She had tasted like berries. The scent of her sex on his fingers plagued him most of the night, mingling with bitter regret that she had found no pleasure in their coupling.

  “Why do you wish to leave?” He knew the answer. He had been too rough, too impatient, too selfish. Once he had sunk into her warm heat he had been lost and forgotten himself.

  “I do not, Lord Hawksley.”

  Her admission sent his heart soaring but he kept his expression neutral. “Evan,” he reminded her. He loathed the formality and her snappish tone. “Then I don’t understand.”

  Looking ahead, she twined her hands together. “I thought…” She drew in an audible breath. “I thought you would not wish for me to stay. Not after…” Lilly waved a hand.

  “Last night?”

  “Yes.” She peeked at him. “Was it very disappointing?”

  Evan could not help but chuckle. His smile dropped when he saw the doubt in her pale eyes. He reached over and took her hand, twisting her fingers between his. Somehow he needed to reassure her. But how? With words? Words usually came easily enough to him but not tender ones. Or touches? He had tried his damndest to be gentle and soft with her but that hadn’t worked either. Few of his lovers expected much from him aside from a brief moment of pleasure and he had little experience with moments of affection.

  “I make no habit in taking virgins,” he declared brusquely. “But I didn’t expect your first time to be easy.”

  “I feel a fool,” she whispered.

  Her admission softened him and he brought her hand up to his lips. For such a proud woman, the confession had to have cost her.

  “You are no fool, Lilly,” he said against the back of her hand. “You were nervous and I was the fool for I should have reassured you.”

  “You tried, I know you did, but I—”

  “Was not experienced.”

  “I don’t know what came over me. I’m never normally so nervous.”

  “You are never normally in my bed,” he said with a wry smile. He turned her hand over and placed a kiss to the inside of her wrist. It gratified him to note the slight parting of her lips. Whatever had happened the previous night, this powerful pull still hung between them. “I have a suggestion,” he continued. “Let us forget last night. Today I must show you around Rushbourne. I’m to travel to London in a week so my time is scarce.”

  He released her hand and she clutched it to her chest, rubbed her fingers on the spot he kissed. Of course, as much as she longed to forget their clumsy encounter, her tight heat and the glimpses of her creamy skin and sweet quim might not fade from his mind. Evan hoped to get the opportunity to see her in all her glory and appreciate her properly soon.

  Lilly toyed with a fork on the table, lip tucked between her teeth. She nodded. “I should like that, thank you, my lord.”

  He scowled. “Damnation, it’s Evan. I will not have you putting distance between us.”

  “Forgive me, I didn’t mean to.” She cast her gaze to her lap causing his frown to deepen.

  Where was the woman with the brash tongue? The one who tormented him with words and refused to let him forget her? He hoped to see her return soon enough or he might regret asking her to be his mistress. As much as she infuriated him, he didn’t want some meek woman to do his bidding in the bedroom. Before long, Evan hoped she would prove to be a fiery bed-partner.

  “Lilly, stop apologizing or I swear I shall go to London and leave you here.”

  “You would not,” she declared, meeting his gaze with a scowl.

  “I would too.”

  “That would be a fine waste of money.”

  “Ah, but I have money to waste,” he replied flippantly, unable to suppress a grin as she gasped.

  It was not the first time she had alluded to how he had bought her. She did it to maintain distance, he suspected. Well that was perfectly fine with him. They both intended to use one another. He would use her until he tired of her and then turn his attention to the marriage mart.

  “You are lucky to have money to waste, Evan.”

  How did she make his name sound more distant than my lord? Devil take it, the woman had a vicious tongue.

  “You must think very poorly of me,” he commented and picked up the slice of toast he had yet to finish eating.

  “Maybe I do, but I believe you do not care what I think of you.”

  “Ah, Miss Claremont. There you are wrong.” He took a bite of the toast. “Now, eat some breakfast so I can take you on a tour.”

  She huffed and Evan chuckled.

  ***

  They walked out to the perimeter of the forest that lined the edge of the field mostly in silence. Though the sky remained clear, a slight breeze ruffled the long grass and stirred dandelion seeds around them.

  “The border of the land,” Evan informed her, casting a hand along the length of the oak trees.

  Rushbourne was a small estate in comparison to Lady Stanley’s or likely the Hawksley estate in Hampshire but it reminded her of home. Here the fields were left fallow and merely used for leisure. There were no ornamental gardens or vast statues. Lilly smiled to herself. If it was not for the fact she was here as a mistress, she could well enjoy staying at Rushbourne.

  Evan caught her smile and offered her a slight one of his own. They were few and far between but they made him incredibly handsome. She preferred them to that wry twitch of his lips he favored. His dark eyes warmed and she longed to kiss those lips when they curled upward.

  Tightness clutched her chest and she fought the urge to rub it. Would he kiss her again tonight? Make love to her? She didn’t know whether to be grateful or upset that he did not send her away. She should be grateful, for otherwise she would have sacrificed her innocence for nothing but would the next time be as uncomfortable?

  “Be careful,” Evan warned as he led her down toward a stream that broke the field in two. He offered a hand, and she took it. Tingles pricked her arm at the touch of a large, warm hand enclosing hers. “You shall likely not meet anyone should you decide to journey out here, but do not walk out of sight of the house,” he told her.

  “Why?”

  “Because I told you not to.”

  “I’m not used to being told what to do. I walk wherever I please at home.”

  “Maybe, but you are in my home now and when I am not around, I don’t want you worrying the servants. The road to the village is not far ahead.” Evan pointed across the fields. In the distance, the small village was visible—a collection of tiny cottages clustered in amongst the gentle dips of the hills.

  “It is one of the main roads to London,” he explained and helped her to the edge of the stream. “It is known to be frequented by highwaymen.”

  “Oh.”

  “I am serious, Lilly.” He paused and urged her to face him. “You would make a fine prize for them.” His gaze softened and Lilly curled her toes into her shoes. He leaned into her, forcing her to tilt her head back. For several moments, he studied her, made her breath hitch. He jerked slightly, as if she had struck him and the softne
ss vanished as quickly as it had appeared. “Besides, I have no wish to pay out yet more money for you in ransom.”

  Lilly resisted rolling her eyes, remembering how her mother would scold her. Instead, she wriggled her hand from his, garnering another scowl and sank down to sit by the stream. Evan stood by her side, like an ominous shadow, for some time while she watched the water flow over the stones. She closed her eyes, tilted her head back and savored the sound of chittering birds and trickling water.

  “What are you doing?”

  Snapping her head up, she huffed. “Enjoying the peace.” She arranged her skirts carefully around her ankles and patted the ground beside her. “Lord—Evan, please stop standing over me, you make me nervous. Come and sit.”

  “I make you nervous?” He eased down beside her, posture stiff.

  “You know full well you make people nervous and I believe you use it to your advantage.”

  “You don’t think very highly of me do you, Lilly?”

  “I do not know you.”

  “That is true.”

  She sighed and drew in a restoring breath. The constant tension surrounding her when in his presence became draining but out in the open, she could better bear the width of his shoulders or the scent of his soap. “I could stay here forever.”

  “One year, Miss Claremont, no more, no less.”

  Her enjoyment shattered, she glared at him. “You will insist on reminding me of my status, won’t you? You cannot help but ensure I remember that you own me.” Lilly stood, wavering briefly before finding her balance on the short slope. “But just because you have bought me doesn’t mean you can speak to me in such a manner.”

  Without waiting for a response, she spun away. Skirts bunched in both hands, she raced away from him as fast as the confines of her corset would allow. Her breaths grew raw and ragged before she was even halfway to the house. Lilly did not need to turn to know Evan followed but she peeked over her shoulder to check. He made no attempt to stop her, merely followed after her at a casual pace.

  Wretched man. Did he have to be so rude? They were finally making progress today and he had spoiled that. How was she to tolerate another moment in his company, let alone a year?