Begin Again

by Mulliner, Brittney

  “You have got to be kidding me!” Mckayla was frozen in front of my brand new baby with her jaw practically on the ground. Brandon and I had taken it for a drive last night when we got home from dinner and I fell in love. Jetta who? This car was my soul mate. Who needs men when cars are so loyal . . . and so much prettier?

  “I guess I’ll drive.” I winked at her as we got in and I lowered the convertible top.

  “I hate you. I hope you know that. I hate you and soon everyone else will too. I thought I was lucky with my cute bug, but this car is pure class and every guy’s dream. Did you plan that? I mean seriously you will be the most sought after girl at school, mostly so guys can drive your car around.” She slipped on her sunglasses as we pulled out of the parking garage. Despite what she was saying she had a huge smile.

  “I’m already having a tough time trying to figure out how to stop every girl from hating you—and me for bringing you here—but this blows every plan I had. There’s just no hope. Not only are you gorgeous, have the amazing body of a dancer, and the best hair ever. Oh no that would be it for us normal folk. You have to throw in the best, newest car in school. Thanks so much.”

  I smiled at her and laughed. “I don’t know about being gorgeous, but I’m sorry I ruined your life, if you want I can still transfer to a different school before Monday. I don’t want everyone hating me, especially not you!”

  She finally laughed and shrugged. “No way! I will let you make it up to me by driving me to school from now on. Or at least we can trade off . . . maybe.”

  “Deal! You’re a freak sometimes. as anyone ever told you that?”

  “Matt makes a point of telling me that everyday actually.”

  We both laughed as I pulled into the mall she mentioned she wanted to go to. It was a different one than the one Brandon took me to, and it looked about twice as big.

  “I think we’ve made it to heaven.”

  “It makes me sad to think you were so deprived of good malls all of your life. Let’s make up for lost time starting now.”

  “Hey! Chicago has amazing shopping! But this mall is just so . . . big!”

  Mckayla took her job as my personal shopper almost as seriously as Dragon Lady. She explained that while my tailored pants and blazers are ‘nice’ for certain occasions I needed to loosen up, my personality and style, if I wanted to fit in. She pointed out how other girls paired jean shorts with oversized shirts or sweater with ankle boots, maxi skirts with cropped tanks (I refused to bring back the 90s with anything cropped), and various styles of jeans that were acceptable.

  I lost count of how many stores we had been through, and I was waiting for the credit card my mom gave me before I left to decline due to overuse. By the middle of the day we each had so many bags we had to make a stop to the car to drop off our load. Mckayla seemed to have caught a second wind and we kept shopping for another few hours before collapsing onto a bench.

  “I think I’m done. I have enough clothes to last me the next several months.”

  “Nah, we’ll be back in a couple of week.” She gave me an evil smile.

  “You are an addict. Oh! Are there are any home décor stores? I want to get some new things for the house to add some color.”

  “Oh finally! I can’t believe he is letting you change things. I have been trying to get him to paint or buy a new couch, anything, for months!”

  “Um, I didn’t really ask or anything I was planning on just doing it and forcing him to like it. You know ask for forgiveness rather than permission?”

  Her smile grew as she picked up her bags and led the way to Pottery Barn.

  ☀☀☀

  Luckily, when we got back to the condo Brandon was still out. We dumped the bags in my room and rushed to get the living room ready. We bought navy and gray pillows for the couch and hid the white ones in my room. Mckayla laid the gray throw blanket over the arm of the couch as I moved the ottomans out of the way so we could unroll the navy and white Moroccan pattern rug. Still hurrying we placed the vases and accessories we picked out around the room. The final touch was a picture I had of Brandon and me at his college graduation that I placed into a new frame and set it on the end table.

  We checked the room to make sure everything looked okay then Mckayla grabbed her purse and shopping bags yelling bye as she ran out the door. Chicken! I understood she didn’t want to be around when Brandon saw what we had done, but I didn’t want to be alone either!

  I was sitting on the balcony enjoying the sunset when I heard the front door open. Not wanting to ruin my perfect moment by getting up, I waited to see if he noticed. I cringed about two seconds later I heard him yell my name. Slowly I stood up and walked back into the living room in no rush to see how Brandon was going to handle our little surprise. His face was a mix of shock, anger, and confusion as if he didn’t know where to start with me.

  “Oh! You’re home! How was work?” I’ll admit my attempt at distraction was pathetic.

  “Work? Aubrey what did you do? I mean I can obviously see what you did, but why? It was perfect before, now it looks like a girl’s place.”

  “It was perfectly boring before! And a girl does live here now and I couldn’t handle all of the white. I felt like I was living in a mental institution!”

  “You are being overly dramatic, it wasn’t that bad.”

  He walked into the living room from the kitchen taking in all of the details. “I guess it isn’t too awful. I mean navy and gray are okay colors.”

  I caught a small smile and took it as my cue. “You love it, just admit it!”

  “The L word is a tad strong, but maybe it will grow on me.”

  “Perfect because I was thinking we should add another color to really make the room pop! Maybe green, like a kiwi green not a gross forest color, or maybe coral?”

  “Coral? As in pink? No way! I draw the line at pink, and kiwi green? I think you just made that up.”

  “Maybe I did, but you’re considering it I can tell!” I thought about fighting it out for a second then decided to accept a compromise. “Fine we will go with green and I will use coral in my room!”

  He smiled, maybe it was a grimace, and then walked into his room shaking his head.

  Feeling somewhat victorious I went back out to the balcony to catch the last few minutes of the sunset and call Mckayla to let her know we had won. Since she left my place less than an hour ago I was confused when she answered her phone after the first ring yelling at me.

  “Aubrey! Thank heaven you called! I need your help pronto!”

  “What are you talking about? Help with what?”

  “Ava Howard, my neighbor, cancelled her end of the year bon fire because she has some crazy flu or something and now it’s all on me to put it on!”

  “Calm down we can figure this out! Your mom had bon fires for us every summer, it can’t be that hard.”

  “This isn’t s’mores and music for two preteens! This is the final party of the year. It has to be huge and perfect especially if I’m hosting it! My name cannot be attached to a disastrous, or worse, boring party!”

  “Well Ava’s your neighbor. Was she planning on having it on the beach in front of your guys’ houses?”

  “Yeah, that’s what she told everyone.”

  “Well perfect, the hardest part is over if the location is picked out. What else?” I was feeling so mature taking control of the situation rather than relying on my mom or the staff to figure out every problem that emerged.

  “There’s the food, fire wood, music, seating . . . everything!” I could tell she was too stressed to be thinking clearly since these were all minor details that would take minutes to solve.

  “Does Ava have anything ready that we can just get from her? I can’t image she left everything to do on the day of.”

  “Oh, uh, good point. Let me think . . . between the two of us we should have plenty of chairs and blankets. I’ll ask her about the wood. Maybe we can just use the speakers off the patio for m
usic, plus at least one person always shows up with a guitar. I guess that just leaves the food.”

  “See that’s totally something we can handle. Everything else is already taken care of. I will pick you up tomorrow afternoon and we can get everything else we need before we set up.”

  “You are a lifesaver Aubrey! How did I survive with you halfway across the country?” She paused finally releasing the breath she had been holding. “Oh, I just realized you called me! Unless your psychic and knew I needed you, I’m guessing you wanted to tell me something.” She and I both laughed and I remembered Brandon’s reaction.

  “I forgot too! I wanted to tell you that Brandon actually liked what we did! He said I can add some green in too, so we need to go back for that and more accents and color for my room!”

  “Sounds like a plan, if we can survive tomorrow we will hit the mall this weekend.”

  We said bye and I headed back into my room. I needed to get some serious sleep if I was going to make it through the next day.

  Chapter 5

  Rather than lying in bed for a few hours the next morning, I got up early and dressed to go down to the gym. Either Brandon was still sleeping, entirely possible, or had already left for work since the living room and kitchen were still dark. I smiled when I saw the navy and grey pieces as I passed the living room on my way to the door.

  As I ran some things Dr. Martin, my therapist, had told me were circling in my head. The decision to move here was the first step for me taking back control in my life. My next step was to stop allowing myself to live in fear. I also couldn’t hide away and think the people here will be anything like Morgan, or Derek.

  I had to listen to Dr. Martin and trust my instincts. I knew Morgan wasn’t someone to trust, I just didn’t get out in time. I won’t make that mistake again.

  Not every guy is a cheater or a stalker. I was determined not to let my past ruin my chance at a fresh start. Trust and honesty. Those were the two things I needed in anyone I was going to get close with.

  ☀☀☀

  Feeling refreshed and ready for the madness ahead of me today, thanks to my workout. I showered and got ready, wearing one of the outfits Mckayla picked out so she could give the okay to wear it tonight. I wish I didn’t care what people thought of me, but being the new girl and having to blend in was a lot of pressure and I didn’t want to make a bad first impression with the people I would be spending the next year and half with.

  I checked out my outfit in the floor-length mirror in my closest. It was quite the difference from my usual tailored pants and blazers but I really liked how the black skinny jeans and boldly patterned shirt worked together. It was silly but I felt so free in the loose blouse. Slipping into chunky wedges—I instantly fell in love when I spotted them in a shop window—I felt like a new person. It’s amazing what a new wardrobe could do for a girl! I wanted to run down a hill singing and spinning in circles . . . well maybe not.

  ☀☀☀

  I let myself into the Pages’ house and saw Mckayla on her phone pacing around the living room, so I took a seat at the island. Diane walked into the kitchen and smiled when she saw me sitting there watching her daughter lose it.

  “Hey Aubrey, I’m glad you’re here. I have already told her, but I’ll update you. Between us and the Howards we have plenty of chairs and fire wood for tonight, and Steven set up her iPod to the speakers this morning so it’s ready to go. Ava’s mom also brought over enough soda and water bottles to get the entire neighborhood through the apocalypse, so all you guys need to get is snack food.”

  She sighed and sat next to me as we continued to watch Mckayla pace.

  “She hasn’t stopped pacing since she got up this morning. I don’t understand why this bon fire is so different than the past hundred we’ve had, but I think she is going to crack soon.”

  A few minutes later Mckayla hung up from whoever she was freaking out to and looked at us. “This is a disaster! There’s no point in salvaging things. I should just send out a mass text and cancel!”

  “What’s the problem now dear?” Diane looked like she was trying to be serious but I caught the smile starting around the corners of her lips.

  “Nobody is going to show up, that’s the problem!” She groaned and fell onto the couch. “Someone spread the word Ava is sick and everyone assumed that the party was off, so they all have other plans!”

  “Did they actually tell you that or are you assuming?” I noticed the smile was growing as Mckayla was going more dramatic.

  “I just know it, okay! I should just cancel. . . .” She stopped mid-sentence as her phone started beeping repeatedly. She looked down and froze. “We need to leave now! Tucker McLane just texted me that John Watters heard from Bev Hurst who talked to Ava that everyone is coming tonight, like everyone!”

  She spun when she noticed I hadn’t moved. “Seriously! Grab your keys we need to go get food!”

  She yanked me out of the chair I was sitting in and pulled me out the door toward my car. I waved bye to Diane on the way out and I heard her chuckling as she closed the door.

  By the time we made it to each of the three stores Mckayla said were necessary to appease the guys, girls, vegans, and gluten-free, the sun was already low in the sky and we were losing the light necessary to set up. With the help of Steven, Diane, and even Matt we had the chairs placed around the pit with blankets waiting on the low wall separating their yard from the sidewalk. The food and drinks were spread out on the patio table and the music was playing through the speakers, and Steven started getting the fire going just as the first group of people showed up.

  I grew nervous as the number of unfamiliar faces increased quickly. I tried to busy myself helping Diane clean up the mess we made in the kitchen, but she shooed me out and told me to go make friends. Unsure what to do, I headed toward the fire and took a seat away from everyone else. I started looking around for Mckayla when two unnaturally beautiful girls walked up to me and sat down on either side of me. The tall modelesque blonde smiled at me like she expected me to know who she was.

  “Hi, you’re Aubrey! We’re so excited to finally meet you! Mckayla told us all about her amazing cousin and we’ve just been dying for you to get here! I’m Talia and this is Alexis, we’re Mckayla’s best friends. I’m so glad we are now an even number group I was getting really tired of the threesome jokes.”

  I smiled at her then turned toward the brunette that looked about my height and had an amazingly toned body that screamed she was a natural athlete. She was just as beautiful as Talia, but seemed much less intimidating. She smiled back and nodded toward a group of guys on the other side of the fire.

  “I’m glad we found you before someone else got ahold of you. Mckayla is crazy busy being the super host-ess, so we’re here to introduce you to people and keep you safe from any of those guys. She didn’t explain in detail, but Mckayla mentioned you’ve had guy trouble lately so she thought it would be best if we acted as buffers from them tonight.”

  “Wow, I really appreciate that you guys. Thanks for being so nice, I had no idea what I was going to do before you showed up.”

  Knowing Mckayla certainly had its perks, including instant friends. I pictured girls like these two to be the mean girls of the school, but they seemed really genuine and sweet. “So what do you guys do, like for fun?”

  Talia spoke first leaning towards me and Alexis since the music and talking had gotten louder. “Alexis and I are partners for beach volleyball during the summer and we are on the school team too. We all surf, but Mckayla is definitely the best out of the three of us, and we spend most of our time here at the beach or shopping.”

  Alexis shrugged and added, “Yeah, normal stuff I guess. The majority of everyone here goes to our school and since it’s on the small side everyone kind of knows each other.”

  I nodded as they spoke, but I was really focusing on the other people that had shown up. I was watching them interact trying to guess which groups of people were frien
ds, who were couples, and who seemed to stand out.

  I noticed someone standing away from the group facing the ocean, but it was too dark to tell if it was a guy or girl. I wanted to get up and investigate, but Alexis shook my shoulder getting my attention. When I looked up at who she was introducing me to I froze.

  “So, you’re the infamous Aubrey I have been hearing so much about. You definitely live up to the hype that has been going on since Mckayla spread the word her beautiful cousin was moving here.”

  I was trying desperately to focus on what he was saying but I got caught up on trying to understand what he was doing here. Was the world really this small? This night had turned into a soap opera within seconds.

  “And you’re the infamous Tucker who saved the party from being cancelled. I’m sure Mckayla appreciated your help.” I couldn’t stop smiling up at him like an idiot. I wanted to ask him what he was doing here, but Alexis interrupted and saved me from the humiliation of him pretending not to remember me.

  “Nice of you to come over and stalk out your prey Tuck, but you can leave now.”

  “Oh come on, Lexi. We’re about to start a new year. Let’s forget the past and start fresh.”

  “No chance. Aubrey isn’t interested so go bother some other girl now ‘kay.”

  “It was good seeing you again, Aubrey.” He gave me one last smile and winked as he turned away heading off toward another cluster of people.

  Talia laughed and looked at Alexis. “Still not going to forgive him? That was freshman year, Lex, I know he can be a creep but you can’t hold a grudge forever. It will cause premature aging.”

  I lifted a brow and glanced between Alexis and Talia clearly missing vital information to understand this conversation. Alexis was staring at me trying to piece together the conversation.

  “How do you know Tucker?”

  “I don’t really . . . I met him on the plane here from Chicago. He just got my bag down for me. I had no idea he lived around here!”