“She told me how excited she was that the three of us would be spending the weekend together.”
Tension eased from Holly’s shoulders, which she hadn’t realized was there until it disappeared. “Cool. Okay.” Maybe there was hope for her and her mom yet.
Jessica patted her shoulder. “I think Matthew would like that rolling pin.” She winked. “Just saying.”
Holly closed her slack jaw and eyed the marble rolling pin. Way too heavy to cart on the train. Besides, she wasn’t getting him anything. Sure, they were friendly and definitely had chemistry, but she wasn’t ready to be buying him a gift. She couldn’t trust herself to keep her mind on her job if she allowed herself to go there with Matthew. What if tragedy struck again on her watch and she missed it because her mind was distracted?
Jessica nudged her shoulder. “You okay? You look lost in thought, and whatever you’re thinking about doesn’t look pleasant.”
Holly blinked. “Guess I was.” Maybe she should ask Jessie her opinion. No, bringing up an infant’s death would make her sister sad. If only she could be guaranteed she’d never allow distractions to keep her from doing her job to the best of her abilities. But relationships were a distraction.
Jessica pulled her outside the store. “Out with it. What has you frowning?” Holly spotted their mother a few steps ahead. She really needed to pay attention to what was going on around her. At this rate, she’d lose her family among all the shoppers.
“Nothing I care to talk about.”
“Does it have to do with a certain baker we know?”
“Now, why would you ask that?” Holly’s forehead crinkled as she dodged a person texting as they moved along the busy sidewalk.
“I heard the two of you have been spending time together.”
“From whom?” Sure it was a small town, but Jessica lived in Wenatchee.
“April.”
She should have thought of Matthew’s sister. “Oh. We haven’t spent that much time together.”
Jessica raised a brow and her eyes glinted with mischief. “That’s not what I heard.”
“April is exaggerating.”
Jessica pulled her into a clothing boutique. “You sure about that? Sledding, strolls through town, coffee—I heard he even walked you home and cooked for you.”
“That part isn’t completely true.” Holly smiled smugly and crossed her arms. “He only threw together a sandwich. That’s not cooking.”
Jessica waved a hand in front of her face. “Semantics. I also heard you recruited him to help out at church. The rumor mill had you two practically engaged with the amount of flirting that was going on.”
Holly’s arms jetted to her sides with fisted hands. “Now, that’s nuts!” But even as she protested, the idea of a life with Matthew appealed. If anyone could make her change her mind on this issue, it was him.
Jessica tossed her head back and laughed. “Gotcha.”
Holly glared at her sister, but couldn’t help the smile that tickled her lips. “That wasn’t nice.” She lightly pinched her sister. Jessica was right, though; she and Matthew had been spending time together.
* * *
Later that same evening, Jessica pulled Holly aside. “I’ve been thinking about how Mom is always so uptight around the holidays. Maybe we can try to find out what the problem is.”
Holly’s eyes widened. She glanced toward their mother, who was putting their names on a waiting list for a table. “I don’t know, Jessie. We’ve had such a great time together. I’d hate to ruin it by bringing up something that might cause her pain. Or worse yet, cause her to be upset with me again.”
Jessica shook her head. “No. This is the perfect time because we’ve had such a great day. Just leave it to me.”
Mom strolled up to them. “It’ll be about ten minutes.” She held up a pager. “We can wait outside if we want, since it’s so crowded in here.”
“No way,” both girls said in unison.
“Suit yourselves.” Mom sat on the edge of a bench. Her eyes drooped and her shoulders sagged.
Holly tugged on Jessica’s arm and pulled her out of earshot. “She looks exhausted. I think this is a bad idea.”
“Trust me.”
Holly wrung her fingers together and bit her bottom lip. She’d enjoyed bonding with her sister and mom today and didn’t want anything to ruin it, but if Jessie felt this was the right thing to do, maybe she was right. “Fine.”
A short while later, Mom stood and waved to them. “Come on, girls. Our table is ready.”
“That was fast.” Holly followed her family and breathed a little easier when they were seated at a table instead of a booth. At least it wouldn’t look as if they were ganging up on their mom, and neither of them would be shoulder to shoulder with her if she got angry.
They studied their menus and placed their orders.
“This was such a fun day.” Mom smiled softly. “I’m glad you were able to come, Holly.”
Holly’s eyes widened and she sat a little taller. “Thanks. Me, too.”
Jessica cleared her throat. “Mom, Holly and I have noticed something we are concerned about.”
Holly wanted to kick her sister. Talk about bad timing. “Jessie, can’t this wait?”
Mom looked from Holly to Jessica with concern etched in her eyes. “Just spit it out.”
Jessica shot her a triumphant look. “As I was saying, we’ve noticed that the holidays seem to be especially difficult for you. Is there anything we can do to help?”
Their mom picked at a paper napkin. She opened and closed her mouth several times, then her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “You’re right. I do struggle this time of year. The holidays weren’t always a happy time in my life, and I guess that November and December stir up some bad memories.”
She reached out to both of them. “I suppose I should have shared this years ago.” She looked to Jessica. “Especially in light of your miscarriage.” She blinked rapidly and cleared her throat. “Before I had you girls I miscarried twice, and both times were around the holidays. I was pretty far along both times and I began to think I’d never be able to have children. I know it’s not fair to my living children to be mourning my babies that didn’t make it. I’m so sorry.” Tears slid down her face.
Holly grasped her mom’s hand and blinked back tears of her own. It pained her to see her mother hurting, but she was ashamed to realize she’d never considered that Mom had faced disappointment. “We love you, Mom. Is there anything we can do to help you this time of year? To ease the pain.”
Mom gave a dry laugh and squeezed her hand gently. “No. But thank you, both of you, for caring enough to ask.” She released their hands and dabbed the corners of her eyes. “I’m so blessed to have raised such wonderful daughters.”
For the second time that night, Holly’s soul felt a healing balm. She couldn’t wait to tell Matthew.
Chapter 16
Monday afternoon Holly slipped her time card back into its slot. Her lips tilted in a smile. Another day without mishap. At this rate, she might even fall off Nurse Ratched’s radar. She approached the main entrance as the sliding glass doors glided open about twenty feet ahead of her. “Jessica?” She rushed toward her sister. “What’s wrong?”
“Does something need to be wrong for me to visit my sister at work?”
“Uh—yes, considering you’re supposed to be at work in another town. Now, what’s wrong?” She assessed her sister’s eyes. Bloodshot. “Have you been crying?”
“No. Relax. I had a couple of patients cancel this afternoon and was able to shift the rest around so I got off work early. I’m meeting April and her daughter at the ice rink a little later and thought I’d pop in to say hi. It looks like my timing is perfect. You heading home?”
“I am.” Holly
exited the hospital with her sister. “Did something happen?”
“Why are you insisting something is wrong?” Annoyance clouded Jessica’s voice.
“You have never shown up unexpectedly and your eyes are bloodshot.”
“Oh. Allergy eyes—you know how I get this time of year with the mold spores and whatnot. Sorry that I’ve never surprised you before.”
“Don’t be. So, everything is fine?”
“Absolutely.” Jessica strolled beside Holly as they crossed the street now completely devoid of snow. “Have you talked with Matthew since we got home last night?”
Holly whipped her head toward her sister. “No. Why?”
“A little birdie mentioned you were planning to go skiing this weekend, but since the weather has warmed I was wondering if that was still on.”
“Planning to join us?” Holly quipped and unlocked her apartment. “Let me change and we can go grab dinner together.” She stopped midstride. “Unless you have other plans.”
“Dinner sounds great. Nothing big, though.”
Holly shed her work clothes, took a speedy shower and slipped on a new pair of jeans and a teal sweater that she’d picked up over the weekend. Refreshed and ready for whatever her sister wasn’t telling her, she scurried into the main room. Jessica stood looking out the window onto Front Street. “Can you believe this place is going to be wall-to-wall people by Friday for the Christmas Lighting Festival?”
“I know.” Jessica whirled to face her. “Do you think we could talk?”
Holly’s pulse hammered at the intensity in her sister’s voice. She nodded. Whatever Jessie had to say, it must be serious. She perched on the edge of the sofa.
“April called this morning and asked me if I knew of anything that happened to you in high school that would make you shy away from relationships.” Brows raised, Jessica sank onto the opposite end of the couch.
So, there was a reason for Jessica’s unexpected visit. “What did you tell her?”
“I’d think about it.”
“And?”
“And I’ve thought about it, but the only thing I can come up with is Sean.”
Holly’s throat thickened. She hated hearing that name. Even avoided friendships with people who had the same name as the baby who died on her watch.
Jessica lowered her voice. “Sweetie, his death wasn’t your fault.”
“I know.” Holly blinked rapidly. “But I still feel responsible. What if I could have done something differently?”
“Stop. You’ll drive yourself nuts playing the what-if game.” Jessica laughed drily. “Believe me, I know. What if I’d taken a higher-quality prenatal vitamin? What if I’d watched my diet better? What if—” Her voice caught.
Holly rested her hand on her sister’s arm. “Miscarriages happen. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“And neither did you. SIDS happens. As a nurse, you should know that. Don’t you see? Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome of that day.”
“But my boyfriend was there. I wasn’t listening to the baby monitor. Maybe I would’ve noticed the silence. Maybe I would’ve thought to check on him, and he would’ve awakened if I’d gone in there sooner.”
“So what? Your boyfriend was there—sure, he wasn’t supposed to be. Big deal.”
“A baby died!”
“And so did a little bit of my sister. Holly, do you really think Sean’s parents hovered over him day and night to make sure he was always breathing? Of course they didn’t. That’s unreasonable.”
“But they blamed me—and I guess that’s one of the reasons I can’t forgive myself,” Holly whispered. A tear splashed onto her hand.
“They needed someone to blame. You were an easy target.”
Holly shook her head and tapped her temple. “I know in here that you’re correct.” She touched her palm to her chest. “But in here I feel so guilty.”
“You must forgive yourself and move on.”
Holly buried her face in her hands, and her shoulders shook as tears streamed down and wet her hands. Jessica didn’t understand. She wasn’t the one Sean’s parents had lashed out at and said hateful things to. She wasn’t there.
Jessica rubbed her back.
Holly forced herself to take deep, even breaths. Tears did not change the past and only served to make her feel worse. After a minute she composed herself, then wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “I’m okay now. You still want to grab a bite?”
“Sure.”
“Just let me fix my face. We can’t both have bloodshot eyes. I can only imagine what people would think.”
Jessica’s mouth opened but she quickly snapped it shut.
Holly fled the room. She splashed water on her face and reapplied a light coat of makeup. Now for food. The Gingerbread House made good sandwiches, and it was on the way to the outdoor ice rink. Maybe she’d get lucky and Matthew would be there. A surge of excitement leaped through her at the thought. Suddenly the idea of dividing her attention wasn’t quite so scary.
Five minutes later Holly looped her arm through Jessica’s as they strolled along Commercial Street. “Are you sure April won’t mind if I tag along?”
“Why would she care?” Jessica shook her head. “You worry too much. Loosen up and have a little fun.”
“I had fun in Seattle.”
“Me, too.” Jessica pulled a cookie out of her purse. “I can’t believe I’ve never eaten at The Gingerbread House before. It was fabulous. Thanks for suggesting we go there.”
“Sure. It’s Matthew’s favorite spot, and it’s close to work, so I seem to be going there a lot lately.” Too bad he hadn’t been there today. She couldn’t help feeling disappointed but shook off the melancholy thoughts.
Jessica raised a brow. “Matthew, huh?”
Holly realized her slip, and her cheeks heated. “Not a word.” She wagged a finger. Her heart raced at just the mention of Matthew. When had she fallen for him?
“My lips are sealed. Is there something going on between the two of you?”
“Not really, but...”
Jessica grasped her arm and pulled her to a stop. “Don’t hold out on me. You know how I love romance.”
Holly giggled. “There’s not much to tell, except I’m positive he has feelings for me. Actually, he’s said so.”
“And...?”
“And—” Her heart was definitely becoming entangled with the man. Shouting drew her attention toward the ice rink. She turned to find the source. “I wonder what’s going on.”
Jessica looked, too, and pointed. “Look! There they are, and Matthew is with them.”
Holly found his familiar form alongside his sister. Matthew and April stood on the outside of the rink, waving their arms and shouting, but she couldn’t decipher their words over the music blasting from the speakers.
Her soaring heart slowed and she reached for her sister, tugging her forward. “Come on. Something isn’t right. Matthew and April look upset.” Holly released her hold on Jessica’s arm and sprinted toward the ice rink. Where had Matthew and April disappeared to? One minute they were there and the next they were out of sight. She pushed through the small crowd until she spotted them.
“Help! Something’s wrong with my daughter. I think she’s choking,” April shouted.
Ava lay on the ground between them, her head resting in April’s lap.
“What happened?” Holly knelt in front of the child. Ava’s lips had taken on a blue tinge. She opened the little girl’s mouth and swept her finger, hoping to remove whatever she was choking on.
“We were eating hot dogs and—”
Holly lifted the child up, got behind her, wrapped her arms around her chest, fisted her hands together and pulled them in an upward motion.
&nb
sp; A piece of meat shot from Ava’s mouth. The little girl’s eyes widened, and she burst into a coughing fit.
April gathered her daughter close, their tears mingling. She lifted her head and locked eyes with Holly. “Thank you! I panicked and didn’t know what to do.” She planted a kiss on Ava’s head, then stood cuddling her child in her arms. “You saved my daughter’s life. I will never be able to thank you enough.”
Holly’s voice caught. “I’m glad I was here at the right time.” She glanced at Matthew. Pride shimmered in his eyes. A warm glow coursed through her heart. So this is what it felt like to do something right—really right. She hadn’t been a nurse long enough to have actually saved a life on the job. There was something to be said for the euphoria saving a life brought. She couldn’t quit smiling.
Holly rested a finger on Ava’s carotid artery and took her pulse. The child’s breathing and coloring had returned to normal. “You are a tough girl, but next time, chew your food before swallowing.”
Ava nodded with big round eyes.
Jessica nudged her. “Anyone still up for ice skating?”
April shook her head. “I’m sorry, Jessica. I think Ava should go home and take a nap.”
“I not tired!” Ava frowned at her mother. “I want to skate.”
April hesitated, then a slow smile tilted her lips. “You heard her. Let’s skate.”
Holly found an empty bench and parked herself on it. Her hands shook, thanks to the adrenaline rushing through her body. She tucked them under her legs. The bench shifted, and a shadow blocked the sunlight.
Matthew slid close and nudged her shoulder. “I think I understand why you like your job so much.”
She cast a glance his way and caught his soft grin. “Nothing like it.” Her heart pitter-pattered at his close proximity. “I’ve never actually saved anyone’s life before. I’ve assisted, but what just happened was a first for me.”
He tugged her arm until her hand slipped from under her leg, then he grasped her fingers and gave them a gentle squeeze. “I’m grateful you were here. Are we still on for skiing this weekend?” He cleared his throat. “We left things kind of up in the air the last time we spoke.”
A Holiday Proposal Page 14
