“I’d love to go, but the snow has melted.”
“Stephens Pass has plenty.”
Her stomach flip-flopped, and she couldn’t stop the smile that covered her face. “That sounds like fun. Speaking of fun, I wanted to tell you about my weekend. Jessica and I had a really good talk with our mom.”
“That’s great. So things are all better between the two of you?”
Holly started to nod, then realized the root of her problem with her mother hadn’t even been touched. The real issue wasn’t that her mom was extra crabby around the holidays, but that no matter what Holly did, she could never measure up to Mom’s expectations. Somehow in the excitement of the weekend, their constant discord slipped to the back of her mind. “I think things have improved because I understand my mom better.”
“But...”
“But we have a ways to go.” However, at this moment, she didn’t care to think about anything negative. She only wanted to think about the handsome man beside her and spending as much time with him as she could.
Jessica and April glided past with Ava between them, each holding one of her hands, a huge smile on the little girl’s face. Holly stole a glance Matthew’s way again. His steady character and good looks gave her pause. Her heart skipped. Why couldn’t she have it all? What was stopping her? Matthew was here and clearly interested. He’d been so patient—even being nice about her kissing him then running off. He was the gentleman of gentlemen.
Matthew stood. “Care to take a few spins around the ice?”
Holly stared at the hand he held out to her. “Love to.” She placed her fingers in his palm and allowed him to pull her up. His warm breath tickled her cheek. She closed her eyes and breathed in the warm, musky scent of his aftershave.
“Holly?”
Her eyes shot open and slammed into his questioning gaze. She took a quick step back. “Let’s skate. I haven’t had a chance to try out this rink yet.”
“Understandable, since it’s in its first season.”
They rented skates and joined the growing crowd on the rink, gliding slowly around the ice.
Matthew glanced at her. “I hope you don’t mind, but I was hoping to revisit our conversation from the other day. You were going to tell me about why you haven’t had a boyfriend since high school. I was concerned by the few statements you made and did a little digging on my own.”
She stifled a groan. “I know. Jessica told me you asked your sister about me.” Holly’s pulse raced. Why did that day have to keep coming up? She wished she’d never mentioned anything to Matthew, especially now that she was ready to move past it.
He took a quick breath and let it out in a puff. “I hope she also told you no one should’ve made you feel responsible for what happened. It wasn’t your fault, and even though I was unaware of it at the time, I wish I had known. I would’ve been there for you. That’s not the kind of thing a person should face alone.”
Holly’s mouth hung open. Her face heated. “Thanks, I’ve decided to leave the past in the past, but it’s really hard to talk about, even now, all these years later.”
* * *
Matthew studied the shamed look on Holly’s face and regretted bringing it up. He didn’t want to embarrass her, but had meant to offer support. He’d only been trying to help—to be there for her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“It’s okay. I’m sure any minute I’ll be relieved my secret is out.” She shot him a half grin. “Let’s go. It’s too crowded here.” She zipped across the ice toward the exit.
He swerved around a group of kids and followed. His heart hammered. “Holly, wait up!” The girl could move when she wanted to and he didn’t want to let her get away. He cared too much to allow her to suffer in solitude. No—he needed her to understand how much he wanted to be there for her.
Holly plunked down on a bench and began pulling off her skates.
He slid to a stop and stepped off the ice. He went down on one knee in front of her and tenderly held her wrists away from her skates. “Hey. Are you sure you’re okay?”
She dipped her chin lower and sniffed.
He slowly released his hold on her wrists and sat beside her.
“You are so sweet.” She wet her lips. “That day changed my life. I have so many regrets. Thank you for caring so much. It really means a lot to me.” Her words were clear, but wobbly.
He reached for her hand, and when she didn’t pull away, he breathed a little easier. “I know it’s hard to talk about, but maybe you’ll feel better if you do.”
“You’re probably right, but I wish you didn’t know. I wish no one did.” She turned her head and met his eyes. “I’m curious about one thing. Jessica said April was clueless about what happened. How did you find out?”
“John is friends with the baby’s brother.”
“But Sean was an only child.” Her brows drew together as she processed the news.
He rubbed his thumb across the top of her hand.
Confusion covered her face. “They had another baby? But that must have been years after. I was told they couldn’t have more children. I don’t understand.”
Matthew kept his voice low. “They adopted—another boy. He’s the same age as John.”
She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m so sick of crying. It seems to be all I do lately. But at least these are happy tears. That is wonderful news. I’m so pleased they adopted.”
He searched his pockets for a tissue and came up empty. The snack bar had a napkin holder. “Be right back.” He strode the few feet to the counter and pulled out a couple of napkins. Seconds later he thrust them into Holly’s hand. “Here.”
She dried her eyes and then looked up. “Thanks. I’m relieved to know they have another child. It makes sense they’d adopt an older one. They were probably afraid to risk SIDS again with a baby.”
He caught and held her gaze. “God doesn’t want you to hold on to this guilt. He doesn’t want you to punish yourself forever, especially for something you had no control over.” He cleared his throat. “I hope you don’t mind, but when I found out about what happened, I scoured scripture hoping to find something to help. I think Ecclesiastes chapter three will put things into perspective. Verse one says, ‘There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.’ Then in Psalms 33:18 it says, ‘The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.’” He reached for her hand. “Don’t you see? Your season for mourning that baby and feeling guilty needs to end. Let God heal your crushed spirit. God has so much more for you, but you are so busy running from your past you aren’t enjoying what He’s given you now.”
Holly teared up again. “Thank you, Matthew.” She sniffed and rested her head on his shoulder. “I think God is trying to tell me something. First through Jessica and now you. I’ll work on letting go. I think I’m almost there. Old habits are hard to break, and I’ve been holding on to this guilt for a long time.”
“Let Him have it, Holly. He loves you and wants to free you from this burden. And He wants you to move forward.”
She bit her bottom lip and nodded.
He pulled her into a hug and rested his chin on the top of her head, wishing he could kiss her but knowing now was not the right time. He’d said all he could. The rest was up to her.
Chapter 17
Holly stepped aside as several shoppers exited Keira’s candy shop. She crossed the threshold into the warm store and inhaled the scent of fine-quality chocolate.
“This is a surprise.” Keira raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah. Could you sneak away for a bit? Maybe give me some advice.”
“I wish. It’s so busy today, and I’m on my own.”
“Oh. I understand.”
The bells o
n the door jangled, and a cool gust of air blew in along with two chattering women.
“Hi, Susan.” Holly straightened her shoulders. Maybe her other friend would have time for a visit.
“Hey, sweetie.” Susan gave Holly a side hug. “Look who I found on my way in.”
The brunette woman who had entered behind Susan removed her hood.
“It’s Meghan, right?” Holly asked.
“Yes, and you’re the one who captured the runaway dog.” Meghan unbuttoned her coat.
“That would be me.”
“I can’t thank you enough. You really saved me that day. How’s your handsome man doing?”
Holly’s face heated, and she avoided all of her friends’ eyes. “He’s great. Thanks for asking.”
“Glad to hear it. If anything changes between the two of you, send him my way.” She waggled her eyebrows and chuckled. “Just kidding. Although I have set up a couple of friends lately.”
Keira and Susan groaned, effectively cutting her off.
“What?” Meghan held a hand to her chest. “I think I make a good matchmaker.”
“Please, Meghan.” Keira rolled her eyes. “Stick to focusing on the animals.”
Meghan looked at Keira as if she’d lost her mind. “They don’t need a matchmaker.”
Holly grinned.
Meghan shook her head. “Never mind. I’m here for a chocolate fix. Dr. Harding has neglected to bring chocolates to the clinic this season.”
Keira tsked. “Sounds like I need to have a word with my husband.” She pulled out a large box and filled it with random chocolates. “On the house, Meghan. I can’t believe Pete forgot to bring in chocolates.”
She waved a hand. “He’s been busy. Rumor has it he’s buying into the veterinary practice, fifty-fifty.”
Keira shrugged but offered no comment.
Meghan wiggled her fingers and tucked the box under her arm as she headed toward the door. “Thanks for the chocolates. Ta-ta.”
Holly turned to Keira. “She cracks me up. I can’t imagine how Pete deals with all her energy.”
Keira shook her head. “She’s good at her job and respects his space.”
“Makes sense.” Holly regarded Susan. “You have a few minutes? I could use some advice.”
“I always have time for you.”
“Great! See you later, Keira. If you get too busy down here, give me a call and I’ll help.”
“That won’t be necessary, but thanks for offering.” Keira waved and turned to the door as a new customer walked in.
Holly slipped up the stairs with Susan at her heels. She pushed into her apartment and plopped down on the sofa.
“What’s going on?” Susan sat, then tucked a leg under herself.
“It’s about Matthew. You remember who he is, right?”
“Of course. He’s a little hard to forget with his Nordic good looks.”
“Hey, you’re married. Remember?” Holly tossed an accent pillow at her friend.
Susan snagged it and propped it behind her back. “Doesn’t mean my eyes don’t work. What’s the problem?”
“I really like him—a lot.” Holly’s cheeks warmed. “He makes my heart go pitter-patter whenever I see him, but I don’t know what to do.”
“Does he like you?”
“Yes. I’m sure he does.”
“Then tell him how you feel.”
“But I’m scared. What if I open my heart to him only to have it not work out between us?”
Susan raised a hand with a smirk. “Funny, I remember having a very similar conversation with you this past summer. Do you remember what you said to me then?”
Holly drew a blank and shook her head.
“You said life is filled with what-ifs and that I needed to decide if opening my heart was worth the risk.”
“Hmm. That sounded much better when it was me giving the advice.”
“There are no guarantees in life, Holly. I suggest you pray and ask God what He thinks. If He gives you the okay to have a relationship with Matthew, then go for it.”
“Good advice. I should’ve thought of that myself.”
“Ah, don’t feel bad. Sometimes the answer is so obvious it’s impossible to see.”
“When did you become so wise?” Holly appreciated her friend now more than ever.
“It must be married life and being a big sister to Katie.”
Holly leaned forward at the mention of Blake’s sweet sister. She really liked that kid. “How is Katie doing?”
“Fantastic. A new Pepper’s Adventures was released last month, and she and Blake are working on the next book in the series.”
“I need to get a copy. It seems like yesterday I was helping them brainstorm their Christmas book.” Holly stood and moved toward the kitchen. “Can I get you anything?”
“No, thanks.” Susan pushed to her feet. “I was stopping in for a box of chocolates, too, so I guess I should head back downstairs.” She waved as she closed the door.
Holly grabbed a bottled coffee from the fridge then returned to the sofa and rested her head back, shutting her eyes.
Lord, you know how much I’m growing to care for Matthew. He is the first man who has stirred my heart like this. He makes me want to be a better version of myself. What should I do?
Peace settled over her, and she took a steady breath, basking in the calm sense of God’s presence. She had her answer.
* * *
Matthew rolled dough in a fury. Of all the days for George to be sick and his counter help to have car problems. The village was filled to capacity with pastry-loving tourists, and he couldn’t move fast enough to get the dough prepared to bake. At least April agreed to help. Of course, that left Ava in need of a sitter. He glanced toward his niece, who sang Christmas songs at the corner table while coloring. That worked for now, but once they opened she’d need supervision.
April pulled a batch of snickerdoodles from the oven and slid in a pan of sugar cookies. “Any idea who we can ask to watch Ava for the day?”
“Not a clue. It’s times like these I really miss Mom and Dad. I could ask Holly.” The idea made him weak. How would she feel about babysitting after what happened when she was a teen? Of course, Ava wasn’t an infant. And Holly had saved Ava’s life. He sighed. They were supposed to go skiing later today, and now he’d have to cancel. Well, he was the one who said he didn’t have time for a relationship, and this proved the point. He wiped flour from his hands and reached for the phone. “Here goes nothing.”
“You’re going to call this early?” April shook her head. “We want her to say yes, not hang up on you.”
“It’s almost six-thirty. I’m sure she’s awake.”
“It’s Saturday.”
He put the phone back on the receiver. “Okay, what do you suggest? I open at seven. I wish George had called last night, then I would’ve come in early to bake and been able to run the counter like I used to do.”
April cast him a look that suggested she understood his frustration. “What’s done is done. Go ahead, call her. You’ve got nothing to lose. If she isn’t available I’ll have to take Ava home, and you’ll have to wing it alone.” She frowned. “I know it’s not going to be easy, but this place gets too busy for a three-year-old to be on her own. I’d like to trust my fellow humans, but I can’t.” She shrugged.
“I understand.” Matthew’s stomach sank. His first Christmas in business, and the weekend’s success depended on whether Holly would babysit—not good. He grasped the phone and dialed.
“Hello.” Holly’s muffled voice answered on the fourth ring.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“Matthew?”
“Yeah. I’m really sorry to wake you, but I’ve run into a snag. George
is sick, and I have to do all the baking myself this morning. April is here to man the ovens and the counter, but we need someone to keep an eye on Ava until my salesgirl can get a ride. She promised to be here by noon. Any chance you could help out until then?”
Silence.
“Holly?”
“I’m here. Just thinking. Give me thirty minutes, and I’ll be there. I take it we aren’t skiing today.”
“No. I wish we could. Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. Staying toasty inside sounds nice. I’d better hang up so I can get ready.”
Matthew put the phone down and scrubbed his hands.
“Well?” April stood at the counter frosting cookies.
“She’ll be here around seven.”
“Whew. I think we’re going to be ready for customers by then, also. You’re amazing.”
“Thanks, but there’s no way I could’ve done it without you manning the ovens and decorating the cookies. I appreciate it.”
“That’s what sisters are for.”
Matthew worked at frenetic speed in silence for the next thirty minutes until, promptly at seven, a knock on his back door startled him. He met April’s eyes.
“I’ll take care of it. Keep working. It’s probably Holly.”
He nodded, but kept his ears tuned. A moment later he heard Holly’s voice.
“Morning!” Holly walked into the kitchen wearing a smile and holding a mug.
“We have coffee here.”
“I couldn’t wait. But I’ll take another cup before Ava and I head out.”
April thrust a box into her hands. “Cinnamon rolls. A small thank-you for helping.”
Matthew grinned. “She likes the snickerdoodles. Toss in a few of those, too.”
Holly laughed. “Please don’t. I’ll get a sugar high. I can’t resist this stuff. Any suggestions on what I should do with Ava today?”
April added the cookies anyway and handed her a list. “This is her normal schedule. If you stick to it, the time should flow well.” She moved around the counter to where Ava colored. “Holly is here to spend the morning with you.”
A Holiday Proposal Page 15
