Eric Olafson: Space Pirate

by Vanessa Ravencroft

  After my friends had situated themselves, they all went to do the chores I had told them to do. I wondered if that sloppy commander was already reason enough to open the special orders I had received from the captain. How many posts and bases were there? Did the Army Engineers or Spacebees work on another project somewhere executing outdated orders and wasting resources? Was the Union Fleet too big to be run efficiently?

  One thing was certain; we weren’t here by accident. We didn’t receive the orders to come here by someone who wanted to get rid of us. If Harris knew about these orders, then the admiral would, too, and the briefing we received would not have been necessary to simply send us on a base to have a vacation. No, I was convinced there was a reason they sent us here, beyond the obvious. At least some of the answers would be in the second order chip I carried in that secret skin pocket where I also kept my code key.

  I sat behind the desk in the study of my luxury suite, turned the chair and looked past the floor to ceiling windows across the reddish stone and dust plain extending to the horizon. There was nothing out there, no craters, no large boulders or rock formations, just a seemingly endless ocean of dirt. The mountains we had seen from space were on the other side; I could not see from this vantage point.

  A melodic sound issuing from the GalNet terminal made me turn; I had an incoming call.

  It originated from the admiral, as I could tell from the message logo.

  Stahl appeared, but he was not on the Devi but somewhere outside. He wore his full-dress uniform with his ribbon display on his chest and the duckbill cap with the admiral’s gold across the black shield. “Good afternoon, Ensign Olafson. I thought you would want to be present for the memorial service for Commander Orah Báct, here on Holda.”

  I answered, “Yes, sir, I would like that very much.”

  “Get into your dress uniform and join me via Avatar Telepresence.”

  I used the Auto-Dresser and then stretched out on the Telepresence couch and allowed the system to connect to my neural interface.

  The world around me changed and became fluid; for a short moment I lost orientation and floated in the GalNet Avatar TP-Nexus. My senses now told me I was standing and no longer lying down and then I walked through a portal opening before me and stepped onto a raised platform where Admiral Stahl and dozens of other high-ranking officers including Admiral McElligott were also present.

  The platform was raised, overlooking a green valley with soft rolling hills and seemingly randomly placed trees. To the right rose a beautiful city with all-white buildings. To the left was a calm ocean that shimmered deep blue with the sun reflecting on it.

  The park-like valley had neat rows of white spherical stone balls, of about fifty centimeters in diameter. There had to be thousands of them.

  Stahl motioned me with a hand gesture to stand next to him and whispered, “This is the Valley of Memories on Holda. It is where the Holdians bury their distinguished dead.”

  I whispered back, “There are so many.”

  Stahl responded, “The Holdians have always suffered and went to many wars. Other civilizations often attacked simply because they think the Holdians are cute, little, and easy to conquer. Yet they are a tough and resilient race, maybe because of how they are perceived. They joined the Union only about ninety years ago before they were an independent Free Space civilization.”

  I felt guilty as I, too, had made that assumption as I had seen her first, and considered her offer to help us fight in the brawl nothing more than wishful thinking. I, too, had looked at her as just an incredibly cute being and not as a Union Fleet officer.

  The ceremony began, and it touched me deeper than I thought it would, seeing the little Holdians carry a small steel sphere with the Union Fleet logo on its side and place it inside a new stone ball. The opening was sealed with a matching plug and the Union Fleet hymn was played.

  Admiral Stahl then delivered the eulogy, outlining her career and how he had noticed her. I learned then that she was one of the midshipmen he had asked to command the Devi and that she did it to his complete satisfaction.

  A Holdian with dark brown fur thanked the admiral and expressed how proud he was of his seventh daughter.

  Admiral McElligott announced that Checkpoint 98 had been renamed Orah Báct and that a new carrier would also be named after her.

  Stahl whispered, “She will be remembered.”

  The ceremony was winding down, and I wanted to talk to the admiral about our current situation, but he said, “Not here, Ensign, and not now, but I have full confidence in you and your team. You will do the right thing.”

  He made a gesture with his hand, first pointing with two fingers at his own eyes and then at me as if he wanted to say, I am watching you.

  Aloud he said, “This Remote Presence Avatar technology still amazes me after all these years and how easy it is for others to be somewhere else, even looking completely different than they really do.”

  I was certain there was a message for me, and all I could think was that he didn’t want to speak openly in this way with me.

  So I said, “Thank you, sir, for letting me be present.” I saluted and told the system to sever the connection.

  I found myself back on the couch on Richter 4.

  Still deep in thought, I returned to the desk, just as Krabbel burst into the room all excited. “On top of this building is a five-star restaurant, and we have prepared dinner. I am telling you, the stasis freezers of the Hilton Hotel are stocked to the brim with every delicacy you can imagine. We won’t go hungry for sure!”

  I handed him my Cred-Box and said, “You better pay for everything you guys take that is not Fleet.”

  He took it and put it away. “I will do that right away, and I actually came to tell you dinner will be ready, and we have quite a few culinary surprises for you all. Mao is still up in the kitchen, and he is cooking himself!” With that, he scurried out again.

  Har-Hi, Cirruit, and Shaka were next to deliver the results of their task. Har-Hi said, “There is only one ship here ready to go. The fighters are just as he said, still in warehouses in boxes and need to be assembled if we want to use them.”

  Cirruit added, “The ship is a Scooper-Class Multi-Role Brigg. Minimally armed and shielded, decent cargo hold and a full set of science sensors.”

  Shaka sounded a little disappointed. “No Virtu-bot Intuitive helm. It would be perfect to explore the system, though.”

  Elfi came in, sat on a sofa and crossed her legs, looking at her own PDD. “As for recreation facilities, there is everything you could want: virtu theaters, restaurants, bars and clubs, swimming pools, gyms, amusement park, aqua fun facility and a big Terran-style forest with lake, waterfall and hiking trails. The park has over 12,000 acres and is really big.” She tapped on her display and said, “As for local attractions, there isn’t that much listed, as such things usually develop after a population occupies the place for a while and finds interesting things on their new world.”

  She tapped her display again. “But there is a list of geological surface features listed worth visiting, and there is supposed to be a cave system leading to a large underground lake with liquid water.”

  I remembered how much fun I had exploring the caves with Brenda on Wichita, at least at the beginning when it appeared just to be a scientific exploration and said, “I guess we could mount a geological survey expedition. Doing such things are, after all, part of our job description.”

  Har-Hi held up two fingers and said, “Especially now that we have not one but two Science-obsessed friends. I bet they will be happy you said that.”

  I grinned at him. “I saw some of the hardware you packed. During such an expedition, we could certainly test some of it. There aren’t any neighbors out there who would complain.”

  He spread his arms. “Hey, I like science and all that, too. We Dai aren’t just about weapons and vaporizing things.” He mockingly tried to look insulted. “I will go and scan rocks and go ahh an
d ooh when I find one that’s interesting.”

  Cirruit looked to the ceiling. “Fat chance there is a rock in the universe you would find interesting!”

  Shaka added, “Except perhaps if they are living rocks of some kind he could fight.”

  Har-Hi crossed his arms and said, “I am going to show you just how scientific I can be, and I am going to ask Wetmouth to explain every second rock and make you all listen!”

  As if by cue, Wetmouth and Narth entered and she said, “Did I just hear my name?”

  Elfi pointed at Har-Hi and said, “Eric suggested we mount a geographic survey expedition. Har-Hi wanted to come along and learn more about rocks and such and hoped you would point out to him the more interesting features.”

  Wetmouth’s voice had a surprised tone, “Har-Hi said that? You guys are trying way too hard to look serious, but since you mentioned it. I actually wanted to take the opportunity since we are here and perhaps visit Richter 5. There are ruins of a civilization, and they have only been superficially surveyed.”

  Cirruit said, “There is a ship available, and it has decent science equipment, not to mention that the base here has an entire Science section with the finest Union lab technology.”

  I stopped them there and said, “We can talk about that later. We have lots of time, so it seems. What did you two find out?”

  Wetmouth pointed at her PDD. “Narth and I found the Mission and General Orders for a Class B station is a 17,323-page document. Narth has started to read it, but it will even take him a little while to finish and then summarize it. It is very dry stuff for the most part.”

  Narth held up a PDD of his own, “Wetmouth was so kind to equip me with one of these. I am actually quite amazed what it can do. I am also engaged, as she said, in reading the documents. So far I have found it all dry. None of the documents appear to be wet or mention moisture.”

  I said, “It’s an expression to describe reading material that is not very interesting or easy to read, as it contains only legal, technical, or procedural subjects.”

  Narth looked at his PDD. “I find it very interesting. The section I am consuming right now describes in great detail the maintenance intervals and procedures for Class B starbases. Did you know that the acceptable dust and dirt particle count for Union Fleet installations must not exceed 12.5 particles per cubic meter?”

  I looked at him and said, “And I thought it was 13.6 per cubic meter.”

  For perhaps the first time since I knew him, he actually sounded surprised. “You know about all that already?”

  Wetmouth put her arm around his shoulder. “No, he was being sarcastic and made a joke. You will get used to it. To them, we are just walking computronics and data repositories and then must suffer their mocking.”

  I lowered my head. “That was a mean one, Wetty.”

  She bowed. “Sarcasm is a dish that only tastes when served to others.”

  Narth actually laughed under his hood. “How have I missed all this? All that is Narth often thinks it knows so much and yet since I am among you, I’ve learned there is a myriad of concepts Narth does not understand. But I can assure you, Wetty; Eric does not think of us that way and appreciates us very deeply. His mind is closed to me, but his emotions and feelings are not.”

  We bantered a little more, and then Hans came and found himself a seat, after the chair adjusted for his size, and delivered his report. “According to the Fleet intel report for this quadrant, there have been exactly 275 long-range scanner contacts since the base came fully operational eight years ago. That comes to about thirty-five contacts a year. None of the contacts were identified as hostile or unknown. Twenty-two civilian ships of various Free Space civilizations used this base as an entry point into the Union and have been processed by customs.”

  Har-Hi frowned. “It certainly is a quiet corner of the universe then, and I can almost understand the commander’s sentiment.”

  Hans tapped on his PDD and said, “Internal security, however, reported eighty-nine fatalities, including suicides and accidents, since this base became operational. Recent accidents include two officers who were crushed by a tunneling robot, about a year ago, a Starman first class drowned in the recreation lake after drinking too much and falling off his inflatable raft and only six weeks ago, ten recently assigned officers perished in a surface mission as their crawler cat drove into a dust lake and the reactor overheated.”

  I sat up straight. “That is a very high number of accidents for a quiet place like this.”

  He agreed and said, “Fleet came to the same conclusion, and an investigation was done. The investigation team of CID came to the conclusion in their final report that carelessness due to boredom was the underlining cause.”

  Shaka said, “I can understand that. I mean, if you are posted here for a year or more it might get boring. I wonder how many of these obsolete or unnecessary posts there are, manned by bored crews.”

  Wetmouth interrupted her reading and said, “These postings are usually voluntary, but the so-called Cabin Fever syndrome is well documented and known for millennia. Normally a good commander knows how to keep his troops occupied, but after several years that might be difficult in a place like this. I checked into the personnel files, and all the core officers have been here for eight years and have not filed for transfers but asked for extensions. With few exceptions, all officers and enlisted have been requested by the commander.”

  I said, “It’s less than eight weeks for us, and I am sure we can keep ourselves busy. I still want us to cross-train each other. During my little odyssey recently, I realized how little I still have with xeno tech and that my navigation skills are not anywhere near those of Krabbel or Shaka. Despite the jokes earlier, I think we all need to brush up on general science some more. Since none of us is a real medic, I also want us to focus on learning more about battlefield medicine and general first aid. I want to know what I can do if Krabbel gets hurt, or Cirruit, and I am certain all of you have areas that could be improved.”

  Har-Hi grinned. “I thought school’s out? But you’re right. I sure could use some more science knowledge, and I mean that seriously.”

  I slapped my flat hand on the desk and said, “Well, let’s figure this out tomorrow. It is almost 2000 hours, and I’d like to see you at that time in the restaurant on top of this building.”

  Krabbel and Mao had outdone themselves. A long table was beautifully laid out with a centerpiece of sculpted ice. Fine Union logo decorated china and silverware.

  There was beautiful music in the background; Wetmouth identified it as Mozart, who was, according to her, a Terran composer.

  Mao greeted us almost as if he was the restaurant owner and rubbed his hands. “Friends, it is served. We got steamed Slime Diggers of Calva IV, Stunned Humm-Beetles, carefully aged raw Dino Livers, Nuflug Larvae marinated in Nanda blood, Sucki-Lums, Baldarian Mud-mash and some really stinky cheese from Terra.”

  I almost gagged just hearing the choices, and I cursed, “Teaches me to ask a spider and a cannibal to make dinner!”

  Krabbel snickered. “I think we really got you fooled this time!” He lifted the covers and said, “Pizza, roasted fish, mashed quadtatoes, gravy, steamed veggies and roast beef; for dessert, of course, ice cream, but with a hot berry sauce over it. We do have Sucki-Lums, but they are for Mao. He insisted!”

  I glanced at the one remaining covered dish and was certain the metal lid had moved by itself. “Do I want to know what Sucki-Lums are?” I asked.

  Har-Hi, Hans and Wetmouth simultaneously said, “No, you don’t!”

  Elfi stopped Mao from explaining anyhow and said, “Go eat those later or on another table. You can’t be serious. You aren’t Shail!”

  He smiled, defending his choice, and said, “Never judge before you try something. If you can get over the fact that—”

  Elfi said with a sharp tone, “Mao!” then glared at him with her trademark dark-eyed glare and he ducked his head.

  “A
ll right, I eat them later!” he said.

  At exactly 2000 hours, I raised my glass. “Recent events made it even clearer to me, how blessed I am for having such friends. I am convinced beyond any doubt that I have found the greatest treasure there is to be found in the Universe. So, I raise my glass and thank you for the privilege to be in your midst once more.”

  They lifted their glasses, and there was a moment of silence. Then we drank and started to eat.

  We ate and had a great time. Just as we were almost finished and a tending robot Mao had activated served coffee and liquor, the base commander appeared from the IBT shaft and came over. This time, he did look much more presentable and how a commander should look. He was clean-shaven, wore a clean uniform, and shined boots.

  I called my friends to their feet and to attention

  He looked somewhat surprised at the spread, motioned with his hand for us to continue, and asked, “What is the occasion, someone’s birthday?”

  I answered, “No, sir. We just like to do this whenever we can. It became somewhat like a little tradition with us. Would you like to join us?”

  He shook his head. “No, not really, Ensign. I tend to have dinner earlier and already ate.” He then flared his nostrils and sniffed. “Either someone here has used the table for a bathroom, or there are freshly opened Sucki-Lums.”

  Mao grinned. “I found a whole case in the hotel stasis freezer.”

  The commander pulled up a chair and sat down. “In that case, I do accept. It’s rare to find someone who isn’t Shail and appreciates Sucki-Lums.”

  Wetmouth shivered. “It’s even rare to find Shail who still do!”

  Mao lifted the cover and picked up something about the length of a human finger. It was oozing with a milky yellowish slime. The odor that wafted over instantly reminded me of the Environmental tanks Har-Hi and I had to clean once, and I could not help but cover my mouth to suppress a gagging reflex. The semi-translucent finger-long oozing thing moved and suddenly made a hissing sound, fighting the grip Mao had on it, and I could see a tiny mouth with teeth!