The Girl Who Died: A Young Adult Novel

by Wendy Dranfield

  Suddenly there’s nothing more I want in the world than to do a Ouija board. I immediately use my mobile to Google it. All the links I find say you need to do it with more than one person. Well that’s going to be a problem. I can’t see mum agreeing to help me, so my only other option is Josh. But first I need a board. As I don’t have a debit card, I can’t order one on-line, but I manage to find a list of shops that sell them. There’s one in the part of town where all the Goths buy their clothes. I check my watch. I have two hours until mum finishes work. Then I check my wallet. I still have fifteen pounds left of my birthday money to spend. I haven’t actually been to a shop since my ill-fated trip to Best Booze. Just thinking about that makes me cringe.

  I quickly get up and try to concentrate on getting ready to leave the house. I put my trainers on and a cardigan, gather my mobile, purse and keys into the only bag I have left after my recent clear out and reach for the front door. It’s only at this point I realise what I’m about to do: leave the house on my own and head into town, on my own. I drop my hand. I don’t know if I’m ready for this. What if I see someone from school? What if someone recognises me from the paper? But the idea of doing a Ouija board is spurring me on, so I find my cap and some sun glasses from under the stairs. I feel like a celebrity but I probably look like an idiot.

  I manage to make it to town without getting spotted. I quite like going incognito, I feel like a spy. As I enter the ridiculously dark Goth shop, I have to take my sunglasses off. But there’s no-one else in here so I won’t get spotted. I’m surrounded by black baggy jeans, black hoodies and studded belts. The shop is decorated like a cemetery, which is perfect for Halloween but a bit weird to have it like this in the summer. I spot a really cool black girls t-shirt in front of me that I wish I could afford. It has a red heart on it with an arrow through. But I can’t see Ouija boards anywhere.

  ‘Can I help you?’

  ‘Oh!’ Jesus Christ that made me jump. He came out of nowhere. I turn to look at the grey-haired shop assistant. He has three nose piercings, tattoos all over his neck and he’s wearing some dubious clothes that he’s far too old for.

  ‘Erm, I’m looking for a Ouija board.’

  He smiles at me. His teeth are yellow.

  ‘Excellent, a lady after my own heart. Come with me, I keep the fun stuff under the counter.’

  We walk up to the till which is on a big glass counter. Underneath are some dubious looking packets of ‘natural’ highs, something that looks like a bong and a couple of ‘spooky’ board games. How is he allowed to sell drug stuff? He lifts out what looks like a board game.

  ‘Can I ask the reason you want to purchase one of these?’

  No, you bloody can’t. ‘I’d rather not say.’

  He looks disappointed. He’s seriously creepy.

  ‘The reason I ask is that this simple board game holds a lot of power. So I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself with it. I have a responsibility to my under-age customers you see.’

  He’s starting to scare me now.

  ‘Do you know the rules?’

  ‘No, I’ve never done one before. But I assume it tells you on the box how to use it?’

  ‘Oh, it does, yes. But it doesn’t tell you how not to use it.’

  Maybe I should leave. I could just steal mum’s credit card and order one on-line.

  ‘No, don’t do that.’

  I didn’t do anything. Wait. Did he hear me?

  ‘How much do you have?’

  ‘Thirteen pounds.’ The other two pounds went on a return bus ticket.

  ‘Well this item costs nineteen ninety-nine. However, I will sell it to you for thirteen pounds if you tell me your reason for wanting it.’

  Well I definitely can’t afford it if I don’t tell him. What harm could it do? He’s probably so bored in this empty depressing shop that he just wants some gossip.

  ‘My best friend died recently. I want to talk to her.’

  He looks satisfied.

  ‘I see. Well in that case, here are the rules.’

  He hands me a hand-written list that says:

  1. Never do a Ouija board alone.

  2. Always put it back in the box when not using it.

  3. Only ask it questions you actually want to know the answer to.

  4. Always say ‘Goodbye’ at the end of a session.

  5. Get rid of it when it has served your initial purpose.

  ‘Your friend. How did she die?’

  I look up at him. Maybe he needs a shock to stop him from being so nosy in the future. ‘I killed her.’

  He smiles at me. ‘No, you didn’t, dear. It was an accident.’

  I gasp. How could he know that?

  ‘I’m psychic; a medium. Don’t be so surprised! Some people call it a gift, but for me it’s more of a chore.’

  ‘So, can you erm, see ghosts?’

  He laughs like I’m stupid. ‘See them, hear them, smell them, feel them. Unfortunately, yes.’

  I’m gobsmacked. I can tell he’s not joking because he looks genuinely annoyed about his powers. I wonder if I should ask him about Katie. But I’m too embarrassed to.

  ‘She’s aware you want to speak to her. She has a few things to say to you too.’

  Then, as if he hasn’t just told me something that will haunt me forever, he bags my board and asks for the money. He slips something else in that he says is ‘for tomorrow night’. I don’t look, I just want to get the hell out of here. I hand him the money, take the bag and walk quickly to the door.

  ‘Make sure you play by the rules!’ he shouts as I leave.

  I’m so freaked out that I just head straight for the bus station. My bus is waiting so I get on and find a seat right at the back. Just as it closes its doors and is about to pull out, some kids bang on them and beg to be let on. The bus driver gives in and opens the doors. I really wish he hadn’t done that. Approaching me fast are Ashley White and Katie’s boyfriend, Patrick. They spot me straight away and Patrick smiles.

  ‘Hannah! How’re you doing? I tried Facebooking you after, well you know. And I kept ringing your house but your mum wouldn’t let me talk to you. She said you weren’t well enough.’

  No, I wasn’t. But I didn’t even know he’d phoned.

  ‘And when you texted me I went to the off-licence but you didn’t show up.’

  I forgot how loveable he is, with his scruffy blond hair and dumb looking face. If he was in an American high school movie he’d definitely be cast as the jock. I didn’t realise how much I’ve missed him. But why is he with Ashley? Who, by the way, would be cast as the evil cheerleader who survives on diet pills and chewing gum.

  ‘Well look who it is! It’s been so long since we last saw you that we all thought you’d died too!’

  What. A. Bitch. She’s dressed like an eighties version of Madonna. Who does she think she is? Patrick looks at me apologetically.

  ‘So, are you two going out together now then? That didn’t take you long did it, Patrick?’

  I feel bad as soon as I say it but I’m angry at him, at her too. If he had to move on, why couldn’t he have done it with someone nicer than her? She’s obviously been waiting to get her claws into him for ages but to pounce when his girlfriend has only recently died is sick. What’s wrong with Patrick? Can’t he see what a bitch she is? She ignores what I said because she’s looking at my almost see-through carrier bag.

  ‘Oh my God, that is sick! You’ve bought a Ouija board? Is that so you can sit around chatting to your dead girlfriend? Patrick, look at that!’

  I feel my face go hot. I cover the bag with my arms but Patrick’s looking at it.

  ‘Will it definitely work?’

  He’s interested in it. Maybe he wants to speak to Katie too. I suppose if Josh won’t do it with me I could ask Patrick to.

  ‘What are you on about? She’s a freak! Come on, I’m getting you away from her before she puts a spell on us. Just you wait ‘til everyone at school hears about this!’
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  Ashley pulls him away but he shakes her off and tells her to stop being a bitch. He turns and says goodbye to me but then follows her up the stairs to sit on the top deck. Looks to me as if he doesn’t like her that much after all. And I don’t care what she tells people at school, because I won’t be seeing any of them again. If this Ouija board does work and I do manage to speak to Katie, I could ask her to haunt Ashley. As I look out the window at the passing traffic, I find myself smiling at the thought of me and Katie up to no good again.

  Chapter 14

  When I get home, I get a call from Josh just as I enter my bedroom. He says he’s been allowed home at last. The psychiatrist they made him talk to has said they don’t think he’d try anything like that again. But how can they know that from talking to someone just once? His arms are still bandaged but he’s on painkillers to stop the burning sensation the cuts give him. I wonder whether or not to ask him about doing a Ouija session with me. He seems in a good mood so I decide to broach the subject.

  ‘I have something to ask you but I don’t want to upset you so I’m not sure if I should or not. I’m not the best at making the right decisions.’

  He laughs. That’s a good sign.

  ‘Just ask me. If I’m offended the worst I can do is hang up on you. Or smash my new computer monitor.’

  Okay, here goes, ‘Well, I’ve been wondering about what happens to people when they die.’

  ‘Okaaaay...’

  He drags out ‘okay’ like he’s thinking, where the hell is this going?

  ‘So I looked up a few things on-line.’

  Again, ‘Okaaay...’

  ‘And I decided I would quite like to try to speak to Katie, using a Ouija board.’

  Silence.

  ‘But it needs more than one person to do it, and as my social circle is currently severely lacking in people, you’re the only other person I could ask to do it with me. But you don’t have to. It’s just a stupid idea. It probably wouldn’t work anyway.’

  Silence. Oh no, I’ve done it again. Maybe I have a brain disease that stops me realising when I need to shut up.

  ‘Where the hell would we get a Ouija board from?’

  Oh my God, he’s actually interested.

  ‘Well, I went to some random Goth place today and bought one. So that side of things is sorted. But I don’t know where we would do it, it’s not like my mum would let us sit at the dining table experimenting with paranormal shit.’

  Almost before I finish my sentence he says, ‘It’s got to be at Katie’s grave. That’s where she is.’

  He says this really quietly like he’s thinking to himself. I really don’t want to do this at Katie’s grave. That’s just too freaky. And what about all the other dead people there who might come out to talk to us? This thought makes me shiver.

  ‘Nah, we’d be seen by other people visiting relatives, so that idea’s out.’

  ‘No, I mean at night. We could climb the fence when it gets dark and camp out until dawn. I have a two-man tent and some sleeping bags.’

  Oh right. He wants me to sleep in a tent with him overnight? The thought of that gives me goosebumps, but in a good way. I would be really close to him all night. It would just be me and him. All night. In the dark. Just me and him.

  ‘That’s a good idea. If you think we wouldn’t get caught...’

  ‘We’d have to sneak out from our houses though because mum’s watching me like a hawk at the moment, making sure I’m not going to, well, you know.’

  Yes, I know that feeling. Our lady razors are still missing from the bathroom. I’m going to have to find them before this camping session. It’s been ages since I last shaved my legs.

  ‘I can sneak out without my mum realising. I’ve done it before. When do you think we should do it?’

  ‘Erm. How about tomorrow night? I’ll spend all day with mum to show her how ‘back to normal’ I am and then I’ll say I want an early night. She takes sleeping tablets every night now so she probably won’t wake up in the night and realise I’m gone.’

  We decide on tomorrow night and agree to meet at the cemetery at 10.30pm. As I put my mobile down I feel a weird excitement building in my chest. I don’t know if that’s because I could be speaking to Katie tomorrow or because I’ll be sharing a tent with Josh. God, I’m such a bad person. Just then mum arrives home from work. I go downstairs to greet her. She kisses my head.

  ‘How are you?’

  ‘Fine.’

  She looks at me weird as she takes her shoes off. ‘What have you been up to?’

  ‘Nothing, why?’ I try to make my innocent face.

  ‘Your cheeks are flushed and you look, I don’t know, different.’

  That makes my cheeks go even hotter, so I roll my eyes and change the subject. ‘I need to shave my legs, where have you hidden the razors?’

  She stops putting stuff away and looks at me again. ‘Are you sure you’re okay love?’

  ‘Yes mother, I’m not going to kill myself, I just want to defuzz! And anyway, Josh said that slashing his wrists was the most painful thing he’s ever felt so I wouldn’t do it that way even if I did want to kill myself.’ I smile at her, trying to reassure her.

  ‘It’s not funny, Hannah. What he did was awful. I just wouldn’t want you to go through that. I worry about you.’

  I go up to her and give her a hug, which she clearly wasn’t expecting. I whisper in her ear, ‘Mum? Where are the bloody razors?!’

  She laughs then too and goes to the kitchen. She stands on one of the dining room chairs and pulls down a razor from on top of the kitchen cupboard.

  ‘Here you go. I want to see your legs afterwards as evidence.’

  I roll my eyes and go up to my room, trying to hide my smile. She shouts after me that she’s going to order Chinese take away for dinner in a bit. Good, I’m starving. I look at the bag on my bed and take out the Ouija board. But on top of it is what the shop assistant said was an added extra ‘for tomorrow night.’ It makes me gasp. It’s the red and black t-shirt I wanted. How did he know that? And when did he get it from the rail? He was talking to me the whole time. And how could he know that I would want something nice to wear tomorrow night? I try it on. It’s even the right size. I’ll wear it with my denim skirt and some converse.

  The shop assistant must really be a psychic then. That means I will be speaking to Katie tomorrow night. But what did he mean when he said that she wants to speak to me too? He said it with a horrible look on his face. Maybe she is mad at me. I wouldn’t blame her. My stomach starts to feel kind of heavy as I think about what she would think of me if she had seen everything I’ve done since that day. I head to the bathroom to run a bath before dinner. I’m finding distraction helps me through the dark moments.

  After we finish eating dinner, the landline rings. That makes me remember that I should’ve asked mum to ring Inspector Foster back. Mum answers it and her face drops, so I know it’s her on the line. They arrange an appointment for the day after tomorrow, the same day as my next counselling appointment. Great. That’ll be a fun day. She hangs up the phone and sighs like she’s really fed up of all this.

  ‘That woman sure knows how to ruin a good evening.’

  ‘What did she want?’

  ‘They need you to make another statement about Katie’s dad. She said that now that he’s been interviewed a few times and is still denying everything, they have some new questions. That’s all she would tell me over the phone.’

  At least it’s not about me being charged with anything. Mum’s mood has changed now though. It’s reminded her of everything that’s happened. It’s only nine o’clock but she says she’s going to have a bath and then an early night. This brings my mood down too. I don’t want to be sat downstairs alone, and I’m too awake to get into bed yet so I go up to my room and use my mobile to search for information about spirits.

  I type in ‘what happens to someone’s spirit when they die?’ But that brings up loads of links to d
o with different religious beliefs. I don’t believe in God so that’s no good to me, I just want a straight answer. How could anyone believe in some kind of God when such terrible things happen to people? Although I expect it’s nice to have faith in something. And somewhere to go when you need help. But that’s what counselling is for.

  I’m actually looking forward to my next session. I’m hoping I’ll feel as relieved as I felt after the first session. Next, I try to find out whether Ouija boards can really contact the dead, but again, this all depends on what religion people are. I waste time looking at ghost sighting videos on YouTube until my eyes become sleepy. I fall sleep in my clothes and dream about being at the police station, giving my statement to the ghost of Katie, who is dressed as a judge. It’s a totally messed up dream.

  It’s half ten the next night and I’m waiting at the gates to the cemetery. Josh hasn’t shown up yet and I’ve not heard from him all day. He didn’t reply to my text earlier and I don’t want to ring him in case he’s at home and his mum wakes up with the sound of his ringtone. He must’ve changed his mind. I feel a bit stupid for taking so much time over my hair and makeup now. I wipe off my lip gloss onto the back of my hand as a way of tempting fate. If I leave it on he won’t come, but if I wipe it off, I’ll look less pretty and then he’s more likely to turn up. Mum calls it sod’s law.