The Doctor's Texas Baby

by Deb Kastner

  “We need to get in to see Dr. Delgado right away.” She flashed him a measured look, sizing him up. “Do you think you can drive?”

  That might very well have been an insult, but she was right to ask. Wyatt still wasn’t thinking clearly, and he was shaking like a leaf in a thunderstorm.

  He inhaled deeply through his nose and set his jaw. He’d let Matty down once. He would be there for his son.

  “Let’s go.”

  “Use my sedan. Matty’s car seat is already attached in the backseat and it will take us less time.”

  Wyatt made a mental note to buy a car seat for Matty to use in his dual-cab truck.

  Carolina reached for Matty, making soothing noises as she tossed Wyatt her car keys. He slid behind the wheel while Carolina buckled Matty in the back. The boy’s crying had mellowed out and he was quietly sniffling, but Carolina still rode in the back with him to reassure him and keep him from getting agitated again.

  Glancing in the rearview mirror, Wyatt caught a rare glimpse of vulnerability on Carolina’s face—an emotion she usually kept well hidden.

  Shame filled him. He wished he could shift the blame for this particular episode onto someone or something else—the goat, or the skittish horse.

  But no.

  This was all on him.

  They’d just today made the decision to have Matty address him as Daddy—

  Just in time for him to prove definitively that he shouldn’t be one at all.

  * * *

  Once they’d reached Dr. Delgado’s office, it didn’t take long for him to determine that Carolina was correct in her diagnosis of Matty’s injury. Sure enough, Dr. Delgado x-rayed the toddler’s wrist and found a hairline fracture. He also suspected a torn ligament or two.

  Determining the need to set Matty’s wrist in a soft cast, the doctor gave Matty a dose of liquid ibuprofen and left the room to gather the necessary supplies.

  Matty, for the most part, already seemed to be over the trauma of his misadventure and hardly noticed his owie. Dr. Delgado had given him a toy helicopter to play with and Matty was zooming it around in the air with his uninjured hand, oblivious to the purple, swollen appendage Carolina was gently trying to keep as still and stable as possible on his lap.

  Wyatt, on the other hand, looked absolutely terrible. His face was as white as a sheet and his gaze carried the glassy-eyed panic of a cornered animal. His Adam’s apple was bobbing as if he were having difficulty swallowing, and more than once she saw him brush away a tear. Clearly, Matty’s accident had really shaken him.

  To Carolina, his tears weren’t a sign of weakness, but of great strength, although she knew Wyatt wouldn’t think so. He would be appalled if he thought she’d even noticed them, so she withheld the urge to reach out and take his hand to let him know that Matty would be fine, and that she didn’t blame him for the injury.

  Carolina remembered the first time Matty had ever had a serious accident. He’d just been learning to pull himself into a standing position, and yet the little fellow had somehow managed to leverage himself up and roll over the top edge of his playpen.

  Hearing a sound, she had glanced over at him from the couch, where she had been watching television, and had recognized too late what was about to happen. From that point it had been like she was in slow motion. She’d rushed toward him when she’d realized he was going to fall, but she’d been too late to catch him. Thankfully, he hadn’t landed directly on his head, and the floor was carpeted. He’d naturally tucked and rolled and his shoulder had taken the brunt of the impact. She’d watched him like a hawk for days afterward, hovering over him and looking for possible signs of concussion.

  The blame she’d felt had been crippling.

  She’d soon learned that mischievous little boys bumped their heads and scraped their knees on a regular basis—and yet they survived and thrived. This new tumble was just one more accident among many, past and future. She had learned not to obsess about every little thing or she would go crazy. Boys will be boys, and all that.

  But for Wyatt, this was his first experience seeing his kid get hurt, and she could tell how hard he was taking it. He was gripping Matty’s knee like a lifeline. His head was bowed and his lips were silently moving.

  Praying?

  But Wyatt had set his relationship with God aside long ago, when he was still a child and had suddenly and traumatically lost his parents.

  Was it possible that something good would come from the bad, that these circumstances might drive Wyatt to his knees and remind him of his need of a Savior?

  Carolina reached out her free hand and laid it over Wyatt’s.

  “Do you want to pray together?”

  He jerked in response, and his astonished gaze burned into hers. She held her breath as the silence lingered.

  “Pray?” he rasped, his voice sounding disconnected from the word. “That’s what I—”

  She nodded in understanding.

  He paused and his eyes widened. “Yes. I’d like to pray with you. Pray for Matty. But it’s been a long time and I—er, can you...?”

  “Absolutely.” Carolina nodded again and squeezed his hand tightly.

  He bowed his head and closed his eyes, then turned his hand over and threaded his fingers through hers.

  Her heartbeat quickened. Just look at the three of them. Wyatt, Carolina and the beautiful son with whom they’d been blessed. All circled together. They were a—

  Family.

  Her heart leaped into her throat and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to speak out loud.

  But Matty needed to hear Carolina’s faith in God being lived out by example, and Wyatt needed to see it—see the strength her beliefs offered her.

  “Dear Lord,” she began softly, “watch after Your precious child Matty. Guide Dr. Delgado’s hand as he sets the cast. And we humbly ask that Matty’s wrist might come out of this even stronger than it was before.”

  Wyatt’s hand was quivering.

  She paused to gather her thoughts. “We thank You, Jesus, for Your Holy Wounds, by which we ask this blessing today. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

  Wyatt tried to echo her amen but all that came out of his mouth was a scratchy sound scraped from the depths of his throat.

  He remained silent and thoughtful and continued to hold her hand while Carolina kept Matty distracted and occupied with his little plastic airplane. She suspected motor noises were more in Wyatt’s skill set than hers, but she didn’t want to push him when he was clearly in an introverted and reflective mood. She sent up a silent prayer that God was working on his heart and opening him up to faith.

  When Dr. Delgado returned, his arms loaded with gauze, cotton and tape, Wyatt quickly jerked back, yanking his hand from hers and crossing his arms over his chest.

  She didn’t know why, but his action hurt her, bruised her already fragile self-esteem.

  It shouldn’t. But there it was.

  Any thoughts Carolina might have had about their being a family unit dissipated into thin air. Clearly Wyatt didn’t want the doctor to get the wrong impression about them, that they might be a couple. Holding hands was off-limits, even if it had been for the very best of reasons.

  They had been praying together. And there was nothing wrong with that.

  When it came time to set the cast, Wyatt immediately stepped up to support Matty.

  A muscle ticked in his taut jaw whenever the toddler made a distressed squeak, but his smile was encouraging and his words full of praise. He was a natural father, whether or not he thought he was.

  “That’s my big brave boy,” Wyatt said as Dr. Delgado wrapped a cotton-like substance around his thumb and wrist that would keep it immobile and then packed it well up his forearm.

  “Just li
ke his daddy,” Carolina agreed, automatically assisting the doctor with wetting the casting material and covering the cotton with it.

  “We have to hold still for a few more minutes, honey,” she said, knowing the cast needed time to set.

  Dr. Delgado grinned. “I wish I had a place for you in my practice, Carolina. You would most certainly be an asset to me. Your nursing skills are outstanding.”

  “Thank you.” She wished for that, as well—or at least, she thought she did. Upon closer inspection she realized she had found a great deal of happiness working for Wyatt in his office, though of course she missed the direct interaction of helping people that nursing provided. With a little more administrative training, she thought she might actually find joy permanently working in Wyatt’s office. But then, Wyatt hadn’t offered her a permanent position. This was nothing more than a temporary solution to a difficult problem.

  So much had changed since she’d returned to Haven. She realized she hadn’t thought much about leaving. Instead, to her surprise, she was considering ways to stay.

  When the cast had set, Dr. Delgado wrapped two stretch bandages over the whole area and then taped it up over the closures.

  Matty was curious about his new cast and was trying out the weight of it, twisting his arm back and forth and laughing at how neat it was.

  “He’ll think it’s really cool for about an hour, and then not so much,” Dr. Delgado advised with a chuckle. “I’ll need to see him back here in a week, although I suspect we may have to keep the cast on for a bit longer than that. The hard part is going to be trying to keep him out of trouble.”

  Carolina groaned. There was that.

  Wyatt’s face lost all its color.

  “No goats,” he muttered under his breath.

  What was that about goats? Wyatt evidently had an interesting story to tell her. They’d been in such a rush to get to the doctor’s office that they hadn’t really had time to discuss how the accident had happened.

  Dr. Delgado fitted Matty with a child-size sling covered with bright, primary-colored dinosaurs.

  “Try to keep his arm in the sling as much as possible, but don’t worry if he gets tired of wearing it sometimes. That hand is going to get heavy and the sling will help relieve the pressure on his shoulder muscles. Thankfully, he’s not yet old enough for us to have to worry about it being his writing hand or him missing schoolwork.”

  “But he’ll get better, right?” Wyatt asked, his voice lined with worry. “He won’t have trouble using his hand?”

  He’ll get better.

  It was the same question Carolina had asked about the deer, whose health had taken a major nosedive. But this wasn’t the same thing at all.

  “Yes, of course.” Dr. Delgado smiled encouragingly. “Give him a few weeks and Matty here will be fully mended. He’s so young right now that he won’t even remember the time he broke his wrist.”

  Carolina eyed Wyatt as they walked back out to the parking lot with a sleepy Matty in Wyatt’s arms. Clearly the excitement of the day was catching up with the toddler. Matty’s head was tucked against Wyatt’s shoulder and he was self-soothing by sucking on his fist.

  Wyatt gently buckled the boy in his car seat. This time, Carolina chose to sit in the passenger seat opposite Wyatt so they could talk. Matty’s eyes were already drooping and he would be sound asleep within minutes.

  “You know, for a man who vets animals for a living, you looked a little green around the gills back there,” she teased, trying to lighten the moment.

  “Doctoring animals is nothing like seeing my own son in pain.” He paused and inhaled a ragged breath. “Especially when it’s all my fault that it happened.”

  Her first impulse was to tell him that he wasn’t to blame, but belittling his feelings wasn’t going to help him work through the incident and reconcile himself to what had happened. Not when he believed he was at fault for it.

  She reached out and took his hand.

  She thought he might pull away, but instead he tightened his grip on her fingers and sighed deeply.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked gently.

  “It was a stupid goat. I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming. I looked away for one second and when I looked back, Blitzy was flinging Matty into the barn door.”

  “It attacked him?” Carolina was horrified, picturing a mean old billy goat butting her poor, defenseless little son. “Where did it come from?”

  Wyatt shook his head. “No. It was nothing like that. As you know, I have a herd of young goats. Blitzy is small and super gentle, like the one I introduced Matty to a while ago. He seemed to really like goats, so I thought he would get a kick out of petting it while I held on to one of the horses’ heads for Nick. You have to believe I thought Matty would be perfectly safe, or I never would have let him near the goat.”

  She waited for more of an explanation, but it didn’t come. Wyatt remained silent, focused on the drive. She knew he had to work through the whole story or he would never forgive himself.

  “But?” she prompted.

  “But Matty was too fast for me. He got it into his head to ride the goat. I can’t imagine what he was thinking.”

  “He’s two, Wyatt. I doubt he considered the possible consequences.”

  Wyatt winced. “No. That was my responsibility.”

  She hadn’t meant to point a finger at him, but rather to show him that he couldn’t anticipate every eventuality. Not when it came to an active toddler.

  “He crawled up on a hay bale and climbed aboard the startled animal. I figured out what Matty was about to do a split second before the whole thing unfolded before me like a bad dream—right about the time the goat figured out what he was about to do.”

  Carolina readjusted the picture in her mind to this new scene and couldn’t help but chuckle.

  Wyatt looked appalled. “You think this is funny?”

  She tried to wipe the smile off her face, but it popped right back up again.

  “No. Yes.” Her fingers brushed across the pulse in her neck as she glanced back to check on Matty, who had fallen into a sound sleep, poor little guy.

  “I’m not happy that Matty fractured his wrist, of course, but you’ll have to admit the circumstances are amusing. This is one of those situations that aren’t funny when they happen but will make hilarious stories around the family table years down the road.”

  “The family table, huh?” he repeated. She felt the tension go out of his grip, and he chuckled lightly. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. But I lost ten years off my life when I saw Matty climb aboard that goat.”

  “You’re a good dad, Wyatt,” she assured him.

  He scoffed. “I think I’ve just proven conclusively that I’m not.”

  “Because Matty had one little spill?”

  “It was more than that and we both know it. He fractured his wrist. Frankly, Carolina, I don’t think I am meant to be a dad.”

  She heartily disagreed.

  “No one is meant to be a dad. You just are one. God blessed you with a son. You learn and adapt and make mistakes just like every other parent out there.”

  “But what if I make another bad judgment call and Matty gets hurt again?”

  “I think it’s more a matter of when than if. Not just for you, but for me, as well. We aren’t infallible. Only God is. We can’t see everything. We can’t be there every single second of the day. We’re going to blink. We’re going to miss things. And when they fall...”

  His eyes caught hers and his hold on her hand tightened.

  “We pick them up again. We do what we can, but ultimately we have to give our son’s welfare up to God. No one loves Matty more than He does. Not even us.”

  A smile slowly crept up one side of his lips. “I can’t imagine a love
that big. Someone who cares for Matty more than I do.”

  “Deeper and wider.” Tears sprang to her eyes and she got all choked up when Wyatt voiced how very much he loved their son.

  And to think she had once believed that it would be better that Wyatt never be a part of Matty’s life.

  Regret filled her. How very wrong she’d been. On so many levels.

  They drove in silence the rest of the way back to Wyatt’s ranch, each lost in their own thoughts. Matty was snoring lightly in the backseat. As a mother, she found his snorts and snores to be one of Matty’s more endearing qualities—although his future wife might not be quite so keen on the trait. She smothered a laugh at the thought.

  Wyatt pulled up in front of the house and cut the engine, which surprised Carolina because she figured she would just be dropping Wyatt off at his ranch and heading straight home to put Matty to bed. It had been an adventuresome and tiring day for all of them.

  Maybe Wyatt still wanted to talk.

  She had to admit she was curious.

  He fisted his hands on the steering wheel and glanced in the rearview mirror.

  “He’s out like a light, isn’t he?” Wyatt’s voice was rich and deep and full of affection.

  Carolina chuckled. “When he is sleeping soundly, a tornado couldn’t even wake him up. He gives a new meaning to sleep like a baby.”

  The corners of Wyatt’s mouth rose but it wasn’t his usually toothy grin, since his lips were pressed tightly together.

  “I created email invitations for Gran’s birthday party,” she said to fill the silence. “I figured we could borrow the day room at the nursing home so she and her friends won’t have to go too far out of their element.”

  “You were always very thoughtful.”

  Until she wasn’t.

  “Not always.” Her mind darkened with the memory. This was a night for regrets.

  He cleared his throat and turned toward her, his eyes a delicious dark chocolate. “I think we need to try to put the past behind us.”

  “For Matty’s sake.”

  Her whole being, heart and soul, leaned in to him, hoping beyond hope that there was something more. That he would tell her that this wasn’t just about Matty.