by Katie Knight
What he and Tess had shared at dinner that night, and later during their walk, was nice, but mixed with the adrenaline and vulnerability and need to do something, anything, right now—getting too close to her in this moment could make things between them go further than they should. Part of him was still way too wary of getting involved with her as it was. There were so many complications to a romantic relationship with Tess, not the least of which was her past and the fact she had “forever” written all over her. If they slept together, he had the nagging feeling it wouldn’t be just a fling. Not at all.
“You okay?” she asked, her tone soft and soothing. The light from the hallway silhouetted her hair, making her look even more angelic. She’d removed her shoes, he noticed, leaving her standing there in bare feet. Her toenails were painted a pretty shade of scarlet. He’d not seen that before. A crazy urge to kiss said toes until she writhed beneath him and begged him for mercy made his skin tingle. “I was going to make some hot cocoa for Nala,” she said. “Thought I’d offer you some too. The sitter’s boyfriend just picked her up.”
“Great. Thanks.” He cleared his throat and looked away, shaking off his errant thoughts. All he could see when he looked at her were those soft, pink lips and those velvet cheeks. He couldn’t afford to lose his concentration and focus now, not when Nala needed him most. He might want Tess, but he needed to protect Nala more. Doing both at once was a challenge he wasn’t sure he was up for, so instead he compartmentalized his feelings into neat little boxes—a coping mechanism that served him well. Whenever things got to be too much on the battlefield or in the bedroom or in life in general, Jed shoved his emotions down deep, into tiny spaces where he could control them until he could bring them out later and master them. He exhaled slow and fumbled through the papers on his desk as if searching for his lost composure. “Yeah, cocoa sounds good. Maybe with a splash of that Jameson I mentioned earlier, for me at least.”
“Good idea.” Tess smiled, and his world seemed to brighten slightly. “Thanks again for a wonderful night. This will all work out. I’m sure of it.”
“Yeah.” Jed stood there long after she’d left, staring at the empty doorway, unsure if she’d been talking about the situation with Nala or what was happening between them. At the moment, both seemed pretty precarious. He sent another message to his SEAL team group, asking those who had connections in the police department to quietly ask around about both investigations. He also asked them for recommendations on someone to repair his busted front door. Then he collapsed into the seat behind his desk, rubbing his hands over his face and rolling his stiff shoulders. Nala’s picture sat front and center on the desktop as if compelling him to figure it all out. He would, once he wrapped his head around the fact that his night, which had started out so promising, had ended in such a hellish mess.
16
“Nala’s asleep,” Tess said, coming back downstairs. It had been three days since the break-in, and she and Jed were taking turns spending time with the little girl, making sure one of them was always with her.
“This early?” Jed frowned, leaning back to see her from where he sat on the sofa in the living room. “It’s barely past eight.”
“I know, but the poor thing’s exhausted.” Tess sighed. “I totally understand where she’s coming from.”
In truth, the attempted abduction had rattled them all, in ways they were still discovering. Jed was more tense than usual, constantly checking all the doors and windows and patrolling the perimeter of the property at night. Tess jumped at every noise and kept looking over her shoulder to make sure she wasn’t being watched. And little Nala was scattered and unable to concentrate on her lessons at all. Her stutter was worse than ever. The week had been stressful all around. Now that it was Friday, she hoped to be able to relax this weekend and just veg, spending time reading or napping or whatever took her fancy.
Jed yawned then waved Tess into the living room. “You look pretty tuckered out yourself. Come sit for a while. Take a load off.”
He patted the cushion beside him and Tess’s heart gave a small leap. Tired and stressed as she was, she still remembered their kiss on the National Mall vividly. The feel of Jed’s soft, firm lips on hers, the way he tasted, the way his warm, woodsy scent had wrapped around her and made her feel completely safe and secure. The thought of snuggling in next to him now made her knees wobble with want, but she held herself back. He’d made no mention of their dinner together or what happened afterward since before the break-in. She had no idea if he wanted to rekindle that passion or stay friends.
After a deep breath for courage, Tess made her way around the sofa and took a seat, not beside Jed, but on the opposite end of the sofa from him. If he noticed, he didn’t mention it. He just kept watching the TV. Tess did her best to concentrate on the movie and not the gorgeous man beside her but failed miserably. She swallowed hard and squinted at the black and white images on screen. “Is this Arsenic and Old Lace?”
“Yep.” Jed grinned and handed her the bowl of buttered popcorn he’d been munching on. “I’m a huge Cary Grant fan, and this is one of his best roles, in my opinion. Incredible comedic talents.”
“Agreed.” She relaxed back into the corner of the sofa and grabbed a napkin off the coffee table in front of them, filling it with popcorn before passing the bowl back to Jed. “I loved Bringing Up Baby too.”
“Definite classic,” Jed said around a mouth of popcorn. “He and Hepburn made an awesome team.”
“Yep.” Tess reached over and grabbed more popcorn from the bowl that was on the cushion between them. Her fingers brushed Jed’s and she mumbled an apology, not really feeling sorry at all. Funny, but she hadn’t realized how much she missed this—just hanging out, having fun, doing normal couple things—until now. Not that she and Jed were a couple. Nope. But in the nearly two months she’d been working here, and especially in this past week, things had settled into a nice routine between them. They’d started coordinating their schedules, planning meal times together, spending evenings in front of the TV with Nala. And yes, a part of her knew it was because of the break-in. But the other part of her couldn’t stop the warm fuzzies that spread through her from the companionship anyway. Truth was, she’d been lonely. Lonelier than she’d realized since Theo had died.
A twinge of grief still stabbed through her heart whenever she thought of him, but it wasn’t quite as painful now, since she’d moved in with Jed and Nala. And though they weren’t romantically involved, she still enjoyed Jed’s company a lot. Maybe too much. But she wasn’t going to worry about that tonight. Tonight, she was too tired to care.
“My favorite Cary Grant movie is To Catch a Thief.” Tess scooted a tad closer to Jed’s warmth, to ward off the evening chill and stay close to the food, she told herself. “Grace Kelly was stunning in that.”
“Oh, Hitchcock.” Jed snorted and stretched out, placing his arm along the back of the sofa. “Well, if we’re going down that road, then I have to put North by Northwest up for consideration. Classic Hitchcock suspense.”
“Hmm.” Tess smiled. “That one was good. No doubt. I guess I just like a bit of romance in with my mystery plots.”
“Romance, eh?” Jed gave her a smile and some serious side-eye, his fingertips grazing her shoulder. “In that case, how about Father Goose? Or Charade? Or His Girl Friday?”
“Wow.” She chuckled. “You really are a fan, huh?”
“Word.” He winked over at Tess, and damn if her heart didn’t skip a beat. Time to go.
She dusted off her hands on her jeans and started to get up. “I should get to bed. Nala gets up early and—”
“Aw, c’mon. Please stay.” Jed gave her a puppy-dog expression that was hard to fight. “There’s a whole Cary Grant marathon on the classic movie channel tonight. Bringing Up Baby is next on the list. Followed by To Catch a Thief. You don’t want to miss those.”
When he teased her like this, when he was so warm and funny and kind, was when it was h
ardest for her to resist him. She had a hard enough time these days remembering their relationship was supposed to be employer/employee and nothing more. When he touched her, no matter how innocently, sparks sizzled through her bloodstream and exploded like fireworks in her core. She wanted him, plain and simple. But she couldn’t let herself have him if it would cost her everything she was working so hard to rebuild—her bookstore, her financial security, her future.
Eventually, the cozy warmth of the couch and the connection with the man beside her won out, and she sat back down again, only to have Jed spring back up on his feet. “Going to go make some more popcorn. You want something to drink? Beer, wine, soda, water?”
“Uh, soda’s fine, thanks.” She wasn’t used to a man doing things for her. She’d been alone since Theo and while he’d been a great guy, the stroke had made him tire easily and unable to really help out around the house with chores or cooking. At least that’s the excuse he’d used, though she’d seen him do just fine at the activities he enjoyed. Oh, well. Relationships were about compromise and those were things she was happy to take on for the man she’d loved. Plus, he’d made it up to her in other ways. Things had all worked between them, been so easy between them. She’d never hoped to find that again in her lifetime. Once was rare enough.
Jed returned to the living room a few minutes later with a refilled popcorn bowl and two soda cans stuck beneath his arm. He set it all down then cracked open Tess’s can for her before doing the same with his and settling back into his seat.
Time drifted as they watched movie after movie. They laughed. She cried. Jed fell asleep.
By the time Tess glanced over at the clock on the wall, it was well past two in the morning and Jed was snoring softly beside her. She clicked off the TV and watched him with a smile. His head was back against the sofa cushions, his arm still behind her head. His lips were parted slightly, and his expression was completely relaxed. She’d never seen him look so young or so vulnerable before. She always got the sense that he held a part of himself back from her during their normal interactions. Now, when he was sound asleep, he looked totally open.
Warmth squeezed inside her chest as possibilities filled her head. For the first time, she could picture them together, living a life, maybe starting a family of their own, adopting Nala. She quickly shook off those crazy ideas and carefully stood to clear away their clutter without waking Jed.
It was a nice dream, them together, as a couple.
But that’s all it could be. There were way too many impossibilities standing in their way at this point—her past, the dangers of his current job, Nala’s uncertain future. Best to stick with the plan and leave with her heart and her goals intact, no matter how hard that might be at present.
17
“May I be excused?” Nala said one night after dinner. “I w-want to finish one more chapter in Order of the Phoenix before bed.”
Jed exchanged a look with Tess, who was at the sink, then nodded.
“Thanks.” Nala got up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before running over to Tess to do the same. “See you b-both in the morning.”
He laughed as her footsteps pounded up the stairs at a fast clip. It had been over two weeks since the break-in and finally, Nala seemed back to her old self. Jed was glad. For a while, he’d feared she’d revert back to the same isolated, scared girl she’d been after the accident. The changes in her now were amazing, and he wasn’t sure how to thank Tess for making it all possible. Even the stutter was almost gone. He’d asked Tess about that one day, about whether she’d used some of her speech therapy techniques to help Nala, but she’d denied it. She’d said it was just good, old-fashioned peace and love and acceptance that had helped ease the problem. Jed had his doubts.
Things just seemed better with Tess here. Certainly, his own life had improved since she’d arrived, in ways he was only now starting to see. He stood and helped clear the plates from the table, still finding it hard to believe he’d fallen asleep in front of her the other night while they’d been watching those old movies. He never did that. Not because it was embarrassing even though it was. But because he never felt comfortable enough to make himself that vulnerable in front of other people. Even the guys in the SEAL team had never seen him sleep. He always took first round when it came to guard duty, then when it was his turn to bunk down, he made sure he was in a private, isolated location. He never stayed over with lovers either, always leaving right after sex. Sleeping with someone, real sleeping, was so personal, so trusting, so open. Jed shuddered at the thought. Yet with Tess, he’d dozed right off like a baby.
Jeez.
He set his armload of dishes down beside the sink then returned for another batch. The delicious smells of his favorite chicken cacciatore lingered in the air, and the burbling of water from the faucet mixed nicely with Tess’s soft hums as she rinsed the dishes then placed them in the dishwasher.
This all felt so comfortable, so right, that he wasn’t sure what he’d do when it was time for her to go.
His chest gave an uncomfortable squeeze.
Ever since that night on the National Mall, he’d thought about her constantly, remembering their kiss and the passion he’d felt from her. Then afterward, he remembered her calm efficiency when they’d rushed back to the house, how she’d worked to get things back to normal around here as fast as possible.
He needed her, and not just in the physical sense, though that was definitely there too. His body ached to touch her, his dreams were filled with erotic images of the two of them entwined in his sheets, her writhing beneath him as he brought her to climax again and again. The way she looked and smelled and tasted drove him to the brink of madness. She was all he dreamed about at night, all he wanted during the day. It was becoming a problem, really. A distraction he didn’t need.
But it was more too. Nala loved her, that much was obvious. And Tess and the little girl made a good team. When he’d first hired Tess, he’d made it clear that it was only for a short time. Now, he wasn’t so sure.
“Have you heard anything else from the police about the break-in?” she asked, her back to him while she worked.
Jed couldn’t help admiring her figure in those tight jeans and soft gray sweater. He cleared his throat and reached around her to place the dirty glasses on the counter, his arm brushing hers and sending a fresh wave of awareness through him. He shoved aside the tingles rippling over his skin and shook his head. “Nope, unfortunately. One of my SEAL buddies has contacts at the department, and they told him that the cops are basically ruling the attempted abduction as nothing more than a random break-in, probably an attempted robbery.”
“Robbery?” Tess frowned at him over her shoulder. “That’s ridiculous. They didn’t take anything even though the TV and other stuff was right there. Those men obviously wanted Nala. The sitter told the police the men went right for her.”
“I know.” Jed felt the same frustration he heard in Tess’s voice. “I don’t get it either. Luckily, my friend also works for the FBI, so he’s going to run his own little investigation on the side into what happened. We’ll get to the bottom of it, one way or another.”
“What about the accident that killed Nala’s parents? Please don’t tell me they’re shutting that one down too.”
“No, but it’s on the back burner now. They’re understaffed and they’ve got new cases taking higher priority. My FBI friend, Owen, is checking into all that too.”
Tess snorted. “Pays to have friends in high places, eh?”
“That it does.” Jed leaned his hips back against the counter and grabbed a dish towel to dry the few items that hadn’t fit in the dishwasher, summoning up his courage. “Uh, listen. I’ve been thinking about your work situation here. Nala loves you and you bring out the best in her. I know when you interviewed I didn’t really give you a specific time frame for the job, but how would you feel about making it more permanent?”
“Permanent?” Tess shoved a detergent pod
into the slot in the dishwasher then closed the door and turned it on before facing Jed with a frown. “I don’t know. I mean, I love Nala too, and I love working here.” A slight blush stained her cheeks as her gaze flickered down to his lips before she looked away. He felt that glance like a physical caress, his mouth tingling in its wake. She walked over to the table and picked up the half-full bottle of cabernet, waggling it in his direction. “Care to finish this off while we discuss it?”
He grinned. “Best offer I’ve had all day.”
“Only offer, I’d wager,” she teased back then headed into the living room. He grabbed two fresh glasses from the cabinet and followed her. She poured them each a glass, then they settled on the big, overstuffed leather sofa again, same arrangement as the night when they’d watched movies.
“How permanent is permanent?” she asked, resting her elbow against the back cushion then placing her head in her hand. “I mean, I’ve always planned to reopen my bookstore someday.”
“As long as you want,” Jed said, stretching his arm along the back of the sofa, his hand resting near her but not touching. “I just….”
His words trailed off and he stared down into his wine, unsure how to continue.
“You just what?” she prompted.
Jed shrugged. “I don’t know. I just think we’ve made some really great progress since you’ve been here, and I don’t want to let that go.”
I don’t want to let you go. He stopped himself before he said that, at least.
“I’m flattered.” She gave him a radiant smile that warmed him through. “Really. It means everything to hear you say that. I’m really happy here, with Nala, and with you.”
The pink color in her cheeks deepened and she looked away again. He had the crazy urge to reach over and stroke her skin, cup her cheek, pull her into his lap and kiss her until they were both breathless. God, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d wanted a woman this badly, if ever. She made him feel comfortable and wanted and damned near invincible whenever she was with him.
