The Royal Couple: A Christian Romance (Royals Book 1)
Page 14
William wanted to clear his head, but he knew he couldn’t leave Victoria alone in this state.
He looked over at her. “I need some time to think. This is a shock. I need to think about what to do.”
“What is there to think about? We have to get married.”
“Stop! Just stop, okay! I need a little time that’s all.”
She didn’t look assured. She stared at him in silence. Her bottom lip began to tremble.
“You’re not going to abandon me are you, Wills? I trusted you,” she said in a small voice. She looked so vulnerable, so scared, and so young. She was looking at him like he was her only hope in the world.
That was when William knew he had to marry her. He couldn’t bring shame on her family or on his. No, he had been raised to be honorable – to be a man of integrity. His father had always impressed on him his duty to continue the Lamport dynasty and to bring honor to the names of Lamport and Foster.
He thought about his grandmother. What would she say? She would no doubt place the whole thing at his feet. She had always told the Foster boys as children, “Men have a great responsibility as leaders to protect, to provide, to own up where they’ve erred. When you’ve made a mess clean it up. Don’t run away or put it on someone else. You need to be strong where others are weak.”
Abortion, while convenient, was out of the question, even if Victoria wanted it, and it didn’t appear as though she did, his Christian upbringing wouldn’t allow him to murder a child – his own child – without carrying that guilt for the rest of his life.
William’s heart tore at him. He got up and moved across the room to face the window. He looked out into the beautiful gardens but all he could see was the future he’d envisaged with Barbara going up in smoke.
‘How can I live without her?’ he thought. He felt his throat contract as his eyes burned with unshed tears.
He knew what he had to do. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s okay, Victoria. I won’t abandon you. I’ll marry you.”
She jumped up and hugged him as if her life depended on it. “Oh, Wills, I knew you’d do the right thing.”
He didn’t return her hug but he didn’t push her away either. After a few minutes, he gently removed her arms and stepped back. “Yes, I will. But you can’t stay here. There are some things I need to do. Go back to London. I’ll join you soon.”
She nodded and left. She now seemed reassured.
He began to think of what he would say to Barbara.
~*~*~*~
Barbara was sipping a glass of white wine when William walked into the room. She had been going crazy waiting for him to return so that she could find out what was going on. She took one look at his face and had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She placed the glass on a side table and stood.
The others were standing around chatting and joking and when he walked in they noticed him.
Peter asked, “Wills, is everything all right?”
William didn’t respond. He headed straight for Barbara. She thought that he looked like death warmed over. His face looked grief stricken.
“I need to speak with you. Alone,” he told her in a low, urgent, though resigned, tone.
“Of course,” she responded, immediately following him out of the room.
William didn’t speak as he purposefully led her to the sitting room. Once there, he gestured to a large sofa and when Barbara sat he joined her. He took both her hands in his and she turned her body so that she was facing him and sitting so close that their knees were touching. She stared into his eyes and could see the utter devastation in their depths.
It prompted her to exclaim, “William, what is it, what’s wrong? Tell me, please!”
William sighed heavily. He swallowed and looked away, then said in a rush. “Barbara, Victoria told me she’s pregnant. I have to marry her.”
Barbara could feel the blood drain from her face. She couldn’t speak. As a knee jerk reaction she dragged her hands out of his and backed away from him. Her breath became shallow as she fought to make sense of what she had just heard.
Neither of them spoke for several minutes. Barbara stared at William as though he’d suddenly grown horns. How was it that she had gone from euphoria to devastation in less than an hour? How was it possible?
“What about us, William? What about your proposal? What about all you said to me, the promises you made?” With each question Barbara’s voice rose a little higher in disbelief and hysteria.
William dragged a hand through his hair and expelled a ragged breath. He didn’t meet her eyes. “The way I feel about you hasn’t changed and it never will, but circumstances have changed. What else can I do? I have to do what’s right. This is my responsibility and I can’t ignore it.”
“Why can’t you ignore it? Why do you have to marry her just because she’s pregnant? Where I come from women have children outside of marriage all the time. You don’t love her – you told me so yourself. You don’t have to do this!”
Barbara knew that she sounded desperate but she didn’t care. She could feel her heart breaking – shattering. She felt angry and desolate all at once.
He finally looked her squarely in the eyes. “You don’t understand my world, Barbara. It’s different from yours. This isn’t something that just goes away. There would be tremendous fall out from a decision like that. It would bring disgrace to my family. I can’t do that. I simply cannot. This is my mess and I have to fix it.”
“Your world?” she gave a short, mirthless laugh. “Are you saying that I’m from some other planet just because I’m not an aristocrat like you? So this is what it’s about, the most suitable match for you. Well surely this blue-blooded English woman has to be a better match for you than some mixed blooded American could ever be, right?”
“Barbara, no! That’s not true! How can you say that? My gosh, that’s not what I meant at all!”
“No, don’t you say another word! I don’t want to hear any more of your lies! I thought you really loved me. I actually believed you when you said you wanted to marry me. How could I have been so stupid? You must have had great fun watching me fall for you. Was this a game to you? Was it a bet to see if you could make the movie star fall for you and then dump her? You make me sick.” Barbara’s voice had risen several octaves and tears had started to flow from her eyes.
She knew that she should maintain her dignity. Shrug off the whole thing. Play nonchalant and tell him that it had been fun and really she was about ready to move on herself anyway. Yet, she couldn’t do it. She didn’t have the energy for pretense.
William instantly closed the gap between them and grabbed her shoulders, “No. No. Stop this, Barbara, you’ve got this wrong. I’m not a villain. I swear to you, Barbara, I do love you. I promise you that everything I’ve said and done over the last few weeks has been real. But I can’t just ignore my responsibility to Victoria. I...”
She didn’t let him finish. He wasn’t saying what she wanted to hear. Her hands slammed against his chest and she shoved him away. “Why do you always have to be so responsible? If you really loved me you wouldn’t care about being responsible. You told me that our love was all that mattered. You told me that you couldn’t live without me. You told me that we’d be together forever. And now you’re breaking all your promises to me. You are a villain. The worst, most sinister kind because I never suspected a thing. You had me completely fooled. You are a horrible person. I hope that I never see you again for as long as I live.”
Barbara suddenly remembered the ring that she had placed in her pocket when they had entered the house. She wasn’t sure at that point that William was ready to announce their engagement and was playing it safe. Good thing she had.
Now she reached for it and shoved it in his face. When he made no motion to take it she reached for his hand and dropped it in his palm.
“You can give that to her instead.” With those parting words, Barbara practically flew out of the room.
She ran straight up the stairs to her room and slammed the door.
Barbara wished desperately that William would follow her, take her in his arms, and say that it had all been a mistake, that he could never leave her.
That never happened.
She threw herself on her bed and cried for what seemed like hours. Finally, when she had cried her heart out, she calmed herself, called the airline, and booked the next flight out of England.
Chapter 14
Present Day
On Sunday morning, Barbara was thoughtful as she dressed for church. She had selected a knee-length, pale gray, tweed dress with cap sleeves and a thin, wine-colored belt. She styled her hair with a side part and allowed it to curl in natural waves around her face and cascade down her shoulders and back. As she pushed diamond studs into her ears, she recalled her conversation with her sisters the previous night about how she had met William and how that relationship had ended.
She’d actually been able to talk about it without tearing up. She considered that a major accomplishment. When she had finished telling the story Dana had said that she understood his position. “You know how it is among those people, Barbie. Even though we’re talking about the twenty-first century, and not the twentieth century, it would still have been a bit of a scandal. I think he did the best he could under the circumstances. It was the honorable thing to do.”
Ronnie hadn’t agreed. “I think he made a cowardly choice. You can’t compound one mistake with another. Sure, he knocked up his ex-girlfriend, but marrying a woman you don’t love simply to save face? Where’s the honor in that? Seems like he cared more about what his family would think of him than about Barbara.”
Barbara didn’t quite know how she personally felt. She remembered what William had told her at Prudence’s wedding about how he had believed he was doing the right thing at the time but that the decision was still the hardest he’d ever made in his life. She had no doubt that he still thought it had been the right thing to do. Whether it had truly been the right thing was debatable as far as she was concerned but she could never in good conscience call William a coward. No, William Lamport might possibly be misguided but cowardly he wasn’t.
Barbara’s mind was still on William when she pulled into the parking lot of Christ Church United Church.
When she got to her usual pew she was in for the shock of her life. Seated next to her mother, looking rather debonair in a gray tweed suit, white shirt and maroon tie, was William Lamport. He sat between her mother and her sister Ronnie.
When he saw her he stood up immediately.
Ronnie asked the others to move down so that Barbara could take her place.
Barbara greeted everyone. When she had settled and regained her composure she turned to William. “What are you doing here?”
He looked at her in mock surprise. “I was under the impression that I had an open invitation to attend church with you or was it only restricted to church in Paris?”
The corners of her mouth twitched but she refused to give in to the giddy excitement she felt at his nearness. Instead, she leaned over and said to her mother. “Mom, I see that you’ve met William Lamport.”
Looking at Erin Dickson it was easy to see where the Dickson girls had gotten their good looks. At 53, she was still a very beautiful woman. Her sandy colored hair was thick and lustrous and was styled in a shoulder length bob. She wore a stylish black and white dress that fit her trim figure as though it had been tailor made.
“I certainly did. I was so surprised when this handsome young man came over and introduced himself.” She now turned to smile at William approvingly. “How lucky that you two have become reacquainted.”
Barbara could see the look in her mother’s aquamarine eyes and groaned inwardly. Erin Dickson had been on a mission for the last few months to find a good, godly man for her widowed daughter. It looked like she approved of William as a likely candidate. Yep, just what she needed – pressure from her mother.
Barbara sat back in her bench and glanced over at Ronnie.
Ronnie gave her a puzzled look and leaned forward and whispered, “You didn’t tell us that you were inviting him.” She glanced over at William appreciatively. “You know he’s even more handsome in person.”
Barbara rolled her eyes. “I didn’t invite him. He invited himself,” she whispered back. “…and stop drooling.”
She shook her head. Ronnie was so predictable. One minute William was a disloyal coward, next minute she was swooning over how handsome he was.
“You two make quite the couple, I must say. Did you plan your outfits together?”
“Of course not! Are you joking?” Barbara asked incredulously.
Barbara noticed that unlike the service in Paris, William seemed to fully participate in this one, and while he did look over and smile at her occasionally, he was attentive to what was happening. He actually had a Bible with him, and although she could see that it looked brand new she was still impressed.
However, she still wondered about his motivation. Is he here to please me? Or does he have a sincere desire to get to know God?’
After church, Barbara chatted with William briefly and when she was greeted by several members of her church family she felt compelled to introduce William to them. They welcomed him warmly, some of the older women embracing him and some of the men pumping his arm and clapping his shoulder.
She introduced him to her minister, Rev. Ezra Fulbright. The minister was a tall, heavy set, black man with a face that looked as bright and round as the moon.
“William Lamport,” he repeated as he shook William’s hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you, sir. I hope you won’t be a stranger to Christ Church United. We could sure use someone with your business acumen to provide us with a little financial advice.”
William smiled. “Reverend, I can promise you that whenever I’m in New York I will visit your church.” At this he glanced at Barbara. “That is of course if Miss Dickson has no objection.”
Barbara smiled sweetly. “Of course I wouldn’t object. All are welcome to our church.” She then excused herself to greet another church member.
~*~*~*~
William’s eyes twinkled as he watched Barbara walk away. He turned back to Rev. Fulbright. “Reverend, I must thank you for your sermon. I really enjoyed your perspective on the story of how Jacob loved Rachel and how the years he served for her were as nothing because of his love for her. It reminded me of the importance of being patient when there is something or someone you really want.”
Rev. Fulbright nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, patience is important but there are also other themes to be derived from that story. First, we must recognize that when God says wait there are often lessons he wants us to learn in that season of waiting and second, in that season of waiting he’s also strengthening us. After all, God is more interested in our character than our comfort.”
In the parking lot, William began to bid Barbara and her family farewell when Erin Dickson stopped him in his tracks.
“William, would you do us the honor of joining us for Sunday lunch at my house or do you have other plans?”
William grinned at Erin and smoothly replied, “Mrs. Dickson I’d be honored to join you and your family for lunch.”
As William followed Barbara’s car to Erin Dickson’s Long Island home, he recalled the looks on Barbara’s face, first, when she’d seen him in church, and, second, when her mother had invited him to lunch, and he chuckled. Those looks had been priceless.
Sure, she was clearly trying not to let on that she was pleased at his presence but he saw how she looked at him when she thought he wasn’t looking and he could see the pride with which she had introduced him to her church family. He was insightful enough to know that she was trying to guard against the obvious chemistry that had been between them from day one.
A nostalgic smile spread across his face as he recalled the impact she’d had on him that fateful day when they’d first met
. He had been heading to his room to change into riding clothes and had literally run into the most stunning woman he had ever seen. It had called to remembrance a quote from one of the C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia books he had read as a child that said when the main characters looked at Lilliandil they thought they had never before known what beauty meant. Yes, he was now able to relate. He had never really known beauty before he met her.
She was exquisite, with her tanned skin, flowing tresses and warm, sparkling, brown eyes – although to call them brown was really not quite correct. No, the word ‘brown’ was too ordinary. It did not do justice to light brown eyes that burst with specks of amber, gold and green.
Before he knew what he was doing, he was inviting her out to lunch and in the days that ensued he never missed an opportunity to spend time with her – to get to know her. The result was that he had fallen hard and fast for this woman who had a gorgeous spirit to match her looks. His deep feelings for Barbara had only reinforced in his mind the fact that he had never loved Victoria Compton.
He now followed Barbara’s car around a bend and rubbed his forehead as he remembered the day that the bliss he had found had come to such a gut wrenching end.
He shook his head as he felt the parallels between Jacob’s life and his own. Like Jacob had deceived Isaac, he had deceived Victoria, knowing that he didn’t love her yet sleeping with her on several occasions, and when retribution came it had been swift and cutting.
Even after that episode had he learnt his lesson? No, he hadn’t. Sure, over the years he had ensured that he was more careful, determined never to find himself in a similar predicament. He had used ‘safe sex’ methods as he engaged in pre-marital sex with women. Again and again taking what was not his right to take. He shook his head. Was there any ‘safe’ way to sin against God? He was surely paying for his sins now. How else could one explain why the one woman he wanted in the whole wide world, the one woman whom he would give up everything to be with, wouldn’t have him? Yep, retribution.