Soldiers' Wives

by Fiona Field

  ‘How is he?’ Chrissie asked a passing nurse.

  ‘Much better,’ was the reply. ‘We’re bringing him off a lot of the medication. I think he’ll be flying back to the UK on the next medevac flight.’

  ‘Him and me both, then,’ said Chrissie.

  ‘And me. I’ve volunteered to be an in-flight medic,’ said Phil. ‘Someone’s got to do it.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Why not? Spending a day and a half on a round-trip to the UK is my idea of heaven.’

  Chrissie pressed her good hand to her chest in mock excitement. ‘Ah yes, the glamour of in-flight movies, duty free, departure lounge shopping opportunities…’

  ‘And,’ added Phil, ‘most of the passengers get lie-flat business class travel. Only the very best customers for me.’

  They pulled up a couple of moulded plastic chairs and sat next to Lee’s bed. His colour was certainly better. Chrissie cast a professional eye over the chart above his bed and noted that his temperature and blood pressure were almost back to normal. Phil got out his netbook and opened up the media player.

  ‘Fancy a bit of Fred and Ginge while we wait for Sleeping Beauty to come round?’ asked Phil.

  ‘Wouldn’t say no,’ responded Chrissie. After all, what else did she have to do? She was on light duties, couldn’t do her day job, her admin was up-to-date… Fred and Ginge sounded a perfect way to while away some time.

  Phil plugged his headphones into the jack and passed an earpiece to Chrissie. ‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘we’ll have to share. Not exactly stereo.’

  Chrissie laughed. ‘I almost don’t need to hear the soundtrack. I think I know most of the words to this and I know all the words to the songs. Not getting the movie in Dolby surround sound will so not spoil it for me.’

  The film started and they both watched the black and white classic unfold on the screen, engrossed in the story.

  Lee began to feel the fog lift. He was used to it now and it didn’t make him feel so panicky. As the fuzz drifted out of his brain like mist rising off an autumn field and he realised that consciousness was returning, he knew now what to expect. First the vague sounds of activity in the ward: the sound of rubber-soled boots squeaking on the polished floor, voices, maybe the beep of a pager going off, and then, from outside, the incessant sound of aircraft engines, winding up, winding down, full-throttle on take-off with a heavy load… Then he’d become aware of light on the other side of his eyelids, of the feel of the cotton bed sheets under his fingertips, of the throb in his shoulder, of the thirst in his throat. And then he’d remember Johnny and the sight of his hideously foreshortened leg. And then he’d open his eyes to lose that image.

  Usually all he saw was the ceiling and the strip lighting of this prefab ward. But this time he could see people next to his bed. Visitors. He blinked a couple of times. One was Chrissie, he’d recognise that halo of hair anywhere, but she was bent so close to this other visitor she completely obscured who it was, although he could see enough of the haircut to know it was a bloke. Whoever she was with they had a shared interest. He could tell by their body language they were totally relaxed with each other. The best of friends. Maybe more.

  Suddenly he felt ridiculously emotional; he didn’t want Chrissie to be with someone else. He wanted her himself, although he knew it was all wrong, all madness. Why was he feeling like this? It had to be the fault of the drugs, there could be no other explanation.

  He watched them for a few moments until Chrissie flicked a glance in his direction. She smiled, her eyes softening with real pleasure, which made Lee’s feelings get into an even bigger turmoil.

  ‘Lee! Hi, how are you feeling?’ She ripped her earphone out and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. His aches and pains vanished as other, stronger emotions washed through him. If she could do that to him with a kiss what the hell could she do to him if they really got it together? No! He had to stop thinking like that.

  ‘Hi, Chrissie,’ he croaked.

  ‘You need water,’ she told him, as if he didn’t know. Instantly she picked up his beaker and pressed the straw against his lips. He could feel the warmth of her hand against his chin.

  He sucked on the straw and felt his mouth unstick, un-gunge. Bliss.

  ‘So.’ She smiled at him. ‘How are you feeling now?’

  He couldn’t tell her the real truth: he was as horny as hell, despite everything. ‘Better. Not so dusty. But what about you?’ He stared at her sling. ‘What happened to you?’

  ‘She got shot, rescuing you,’ said her friend.

  Lee looked past Chrissie and recognised her companion. Bugger, it was Phil, he might have guessed. But then the significance of what Phil had just said hit home.

  ‘Shot?’

  ‘It’s only a scratch,’ said Chrissie. ‘It’s not like your wound.’

  ‘It’s nothing of the sort,’ said Phil. ‘And I’ll have you know that despite her wound, this woman still managed to help carry you back to the Chinook.’

  She’d done what? Lee felt a total rush of love for Chrissie.

  Chrissie punched Phil’s arm with her good hand. ‘Will you stop bigging it up? It was nothing serious and I still had an arm that worked.’

  But she gave her medical colleague a smile that Lee would have walked over fire to have won. But he had no right to that sort of smile, and it seemed Chrissie was obviously mad about Phil, lucky guy. Instead he said, ‘Yeah, sounds like it. It must have still killed.’

  ‘To be honest,’ said Chrissie, ‘I was so fucking wired with adrenalin and anger, it was only when I got off the Chinook back here that it really began to smart.’

  ‘Smart, my arse,’ said Phil. Lee noticed the dopey expression on his face. So Phil was equally potty about Chrissie. He wanted to be happy for her, but all he could feel was an unbelievable sense of sadness. ‘You almost passed out,’ finished Phil.

  ‘Exaggerating again,’ said Chrissie, grinning.

  The sadness and self-pity Lee was feeling was suddenly too much. He didn’t need to see how loved-up Chrissie was. He couldn’t blame her for being with Phil, and he was just being selfish – wanting what he couldn’t have – but he’d had enough. Their banter didn’t involve him. He wasn’t a part of this conversation, he didn’t have the energy to keep up, and it didn’t matter what his feelings were for Chrissie, because nothing was ever going to happen between him and her – the way she obviously felt about Phil had seen to that. And of course he himself was in the wrong for even thinking about Chrissie when he had Jenna waiting for him.

  But if she wasn’t around…

  And suddenly he realised that he actually resented Jenna’s presence. He blamed that on the drugs too; the drugs had to be really messing him up, because to feel like that about his own wife was bang out of order.

  30

  ‘Come to tell me I had it coming to me? Because that’s what the wives around here think,’ said Jenna, leaning insolently against her door jamb and staring hard at Maddy.

  ‘No… I… not at all,’ said Maddy, utterly disconcerted. This wasn’t what she expected, although she wasn’t quite sure what she had expected; someone distraught and worried, maybe. ‘I made you this.’ She thrust a heavy carrier bag at Jenna. ‘It’s a cottage pie. I thought it might come in useful. I don’t expect you feel much like cooking, with so much shit happening, what with Lee and everything.’ Jenna still just stared at her. ‘And you need to eat. There’s enough here to see you through the weekend,’ she ended.

  To Maddy’s surprise and amazement Jenna stood back and invited her in.

  ‘Sorry,’ said Jenna, even more surprisingly. ‘It’s just the other wives have been a bit shitty. I was expecting more of the same.’

  And why wouldn’t they be? thought Maddy, but she kept her views to herself. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘Maybe you’re just being sensitive, because you’re in a bad place. Because of Lee.’

  ‘And maybe my neighbours are bitches, who only want to see the worst i
n me,’ Jenna snapped back.

  ‘Oh, hon.’ She put her arm around Jenna’s shoulders. ‘Would a cup of tea help?’ She felt Jenna shrug her off, so she pushed past her into the kitchen so she could dump the pie. She forced herself not to check the floor for discarded men’s underpants as she plonked the cottage pie on a counter and grabbed the kettle.

  ‘Tea?’ she asked. Jenna nodded. ‘Tea bags?’ Jenna pointed to a canister near the kettle. ‘Mugs?’ Wordlessly, Jenna fished two out of a cupboard and handed them to Maddy.

  ‘So what’s the matter?’ she asked. ‘I’d heard that Lee is out of danger. That’s got to be good, hasn’t it? He’ll be flying back soon.’

  Jenna nodded. ‘I suppose. And thank you for being kind. I appreciate it.’

  ‘It’s only a cottage pie,’ said Maddy, trying to lift the mood. ‘I’m not donating a kidney.’

  Jenna shook her head. ‘No, well, it’s appreciated. And unexpected,’ she added.

  She suddenly looked vulnerable and Maddy’s attitude softened a little. ‘But the other wives, your neighbours…’

  Jenna shook her head. ‘We don’t really get on. Nothing in common.’

  Maddy was astounded. Just the fact that they were all army wives – that they’d all been through separation and moves and worry and lived in crap quarters and had had to give up careers and faced sending their kids off to boarding school and goodness knows what else because of the army – made them a sisterhood. How could Jenna say they had nothing in common? They had everything in common. Even Kipling, a century before, had got it right:

  the Colonel’s Lady an’ Judy O’Grady

  Are sisters under their skins.

  But she kept shtum. If the other wives were keeping their distance, then something was seriously wrong – and Maddy reckoned it had to be with Jenna. Which was a worry.

  She made the tea and handed Jenna a mug, pushing the sugar bowl towards her. Jenna shook her head.

  ‘Shall we go and sit somewhere more comfortable?’

  ‘Suppose.’ Jenna led the way to the sitting room. Listlessly she flopped onto one of the big cream sofas.

  ‘Have you a date for Lee’s return?’ asked Maddy.

  ‘There’s a medevac flight leaving next week sometime, they think. I’ve been told that if he’s well enough, he’ll be on that.’

  ‘Well, that’s good.’

  ‘Is it? Life’s utterly shit at the moment so having to trek up to Brum will be the icing on the fucking cake.’

  ‘Why? At least it means he’s home and safe.’

  ‘Huh. It means seeing his mother. She’ll be there, won’t she?’ Jenna glowered. ‘She hates me, always has done.’

  ‘Maybe you can stagger your visiting times, try not to see too much of her.’

  ‘You think?’ Jenna shook her head. ‘She’ll be all over him like a rash. I’ve a good mind not to go.’

  ‘You can’t do that!’ Maddy was aghast.

  ‘Why? Sonia’ll only make my life a misery.’

  ‘But Lee’ll want you there.’

  ‘Yeah, well… and anyway, I’ve got a new job. Only got it the other day. If I start wanting time off I can kiss goodbye to it, can’t I?’

  ‘I’m sure the company would understand.’

  ‘You think? I haven’t even signed the contract yet.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Yeah – oh. It’s only a little firm, they’re short-staffed, if I don’t turn up they’ll get another waitress in.’

  ‘It’s a restaurant?’

  ‘Catering company. Look, Maddy, it’s not like jobs are two a penny, and I need the cash. Lee’ll understand.’

  It sounded very much to Maddy that what Lee might or might not understand was a long way down Jenna’s list of priorities. Poor Lee, she thought. What with Jenna’s views about his mother, her fling with this other bloke and now her reluctance to visit her wounded husband, Maddy felt herself starting to side with the other wives. And what’s more, she didn’t rate this marriage with much chance of survival; and frankly, even though it was none of her business, she felt Lee was probably going to be better off without Jenna.

  After Maddy had gone, Jenna went into the kitchen, stuck the cottage pie in the fridge and picked her car keys off the hook by the door. She couldn’t sit around here all day, feeling sorry for herself, she needed to get down to Coronet Foods and see if she still had a job. Immi had phoned them to explain why she wouldn’t be in for a bit and, give him his due, Barry the MD had been very reasonable. But the fact remained that she still hadn’t signed a contract, and if he decided to show her the door she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on, so she really needed to go and tell him she was still keen to work for him and hope he still wanted her. However, her car was still at the Six Bells right across the far side of town. Who could she ask for a lift? she wondered.

  Dan. Dan was responsible for half of this mess; the least he could do was help sort her out, and since they had exchanged mobile numbers over dinner, she knew how to contact him. She scrolled through her phone and tapped the screen.

  ‘Jenna?’ he said, sounding surprised. ‘After the way you got rid of me the other morning, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you again.’

  She nearly retorted that his expectations were dead right, but decided that pissing him off wasn’t the best way to get him to give her a lift.

  ‘Yeah, well, you could see how awkward it was. And if Lee hadn’t got injured…’

  ‘You would have got away with having a bit of a fling? No one would have been any the wiser? Is that what you mean?’

  ‘Yes. And your point is?’ she sniped at him.

  ‘It’s none of my business. So how is your old man?’

  Just rub it in that I’m married, why don’t you? ‘He’s out of danger, thanks. Look, Dan, let’s not bicker, I need a favour; my car is still at the Bells.’

  ‘And you’d like me to give you a lift over there, is that it?’

  ‘Please.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘As soon as possible?’ she asked hopefully. She could really do with having her car back for the weekend.

  ‘You’re in luck. I’ve just fixed a staff car and I’ve got to take it out for a test drive, give it a good run.’

  ‘Ace. Only best you don’t come to the house. Meet me at the bus stop near the tennis courts. Ten minutes?’

  ‘See you then.’

  Dan was waiting for her when she got to their rendezvous, the engine of the sleek black car purring.

  ‘Hiya,’ she said as she climbed in.

  Dan leaned across. ‘Is that all I get? Hiya?’

  ‘Don’t be daft, Dan. This is hardly private, is it? Someone might see.’

  ‘Bit late to be prudish, isn’t it?’ said Dan, giving her a disappointed glance as he slipped the car into first gear and pulled away.

  ‘Why are you saying that?’

  ‘Because, Jenna, what you and I did is all over the garrison.’

  Jenna could have sworn her heart actually stopped for several seconds and that her temperature plummeted. ‘No!’

  ‘’Fraid so.’

  For all her bravado about not caring a jot what her neighbours thought of her, she suddenly discovered that she did. She felt tears of self-pity pricking her eyes. Shit, what a label – the battalion scarlet woman. How the fuck could she hide this from Lee when he got back? ‘This is all your fault, Dan.’

  ‘Mine?’ His incredulity rang in his voice.

  ‘If you hadn’t got me drunk…’

  ‘I didn’t force the drinks on you. You were the one knocking it back like it was water. And you were the one who suggested bed.’

  ‘So what are we going to do?’ she asked.

  Dan shrugged. ‘Depends on you, I suppose.’

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘I’m not the one with a partner, remember. I’m the one with an ex. I can do whatever I like.’ The lights ahead changed to red, so Dan stopped the car and pulled on the handbrake.
>
  ‘Thanks a bunch.’

  ‘Jenna, you have to decide if you want to keep your marriage going.’

  ‘Says the bloke with an ex-wife.’

  ‘Exactly, and I didn’t.’ The lights changed and they moved forwards again.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because she ran off with another bloke.’

  ‘Oh.’ Silence fell. They’d reached the town and the traffic had increased significantly. Dan drove carefully along the busy street as Jenna took in what he had said. ‘If she’d come back and apologised, would you have taken her back?’

  Dan sighed. ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Do you reckon Lee’ll forgive me?’

  ‘Why are you asking me? I’m not your husband and I don’t know your Lee at all. Never met him.’

  ‘You’re a man. You’re a man whose wife was unfaithful.’

  ‘Which makes me an expert?’

  ‘Makes you more of an expert than me.’

  Dan stopped the car again to let people across a zebra crossing. Jenna hoped to God that none of her neighbours was in town and might recognise her and Dan. Although maybe it was a bit late for that, if the whole garrison really did know. Talk about wanting to shut the stable door.

  ‘I think,’ said Dan carefully, ‘if you really want to make your marriage work, if you want to keep Lee, then it might be possible. You’re a stunning woman, and if you were mine, I’d be inclined to give you a second chance.’

  ‘You really mean that?’

  ‘That I’d give you a second chance? Yes.’

  ‘No, that you think I’m a stunner?’

  Dan laughed. ‘Shit, Jenna, what are you like? But I’ve got to say, I admire you.’

  ‘What? Why?’

  ‘You really are totally brazen, quite apart from being out for Number One and not caring a toss about anyone but yourself. You are going to be one of life’s big survivors, which is quite admirable in its own way.’ Dan pulled into the car park of the Six Bells and parked beside Jenna’s car. ‘Let me know if I can be of service again,’ he said.