Super Con-Nerd

by Oliver Phommavanh

  I creep to the bathroom and brush my teeth quietly, trying not to wake up Mama. I get changed into my uniform and pick up my bag. I open the fridge to snatch some fruit for breakfast.

  ‘Connor!’

  I jump and slam the fridge door shut. A few magnets drop off.

  Mama’s in her stripy pink PJs with one eye closed. ‘Just wanted to wish you good luck for the study session.’ She yawns. ‘Do you want me to make you and Mandy some porridge, for an early breakfast?’

  I shake my head. ‘My stomach won’t wake up until 7 a.m.’

  Mama squeezes me tight. ‘Stay safe.’

  I sneak one last look at Dad’s shrine. I hope I’m doing the right thing, helping out Mandy and looking after her. Hopefully Mama won’t find out, unless she watches the breakfast show on TV with binoculars.

  Mandy’s already downstairs. ‘Good morning, Con-nerd.’

  I try to make her out in the darkness. She’s wearing a neon pink shirt. ‘You’re not in school uniform?’

  ‘Relax, it’s in my bag. Let’s go.’

  We catch the bus to the train station, and make the express train to the city. The sun slowly rises, looking like an egg yolk, turning the sky into a creamy yellow.

  Mandy sticks an earphone into my left ear. ‘It’s time to cram, Con-nerd.’ She blasts 500 Years of Winter through my earhole and out the other side. I’m definitely awake now. She might as well have sliced me open with a chainsaw. Mandy’s swiping left and right on her phone. ‘Oh wow, James is already at Town Hall station.’

  ‘Is he in your class?’

  ‘He’s in Year Eight.’

  I squirm and yank the earphone away from my ear. ‘Are you serious? He’s so much older than you.’

  ‘What is with you and the parent chatter?’ Mandy snaps. ‘It’s my life and he’s not even a year older than me.’

  ‘Okay, you’re right. Sorry.’ I stick the earphone back in. I’m just happy to be with Mandy, even if I miss the old one.

  ‘You’re still a pushover, Con-nerd,’ Mandy says, hitting the pause button. ‘Stop being so nice to me.’

  ‘Aren’t your new friends nice to you?’ I say.

  ‘I mean, we joke around and stuff.’ Mandy gazes out the window. ‘I guess they like me, but I really don’t know.’

  ‘You could ask them.’

  ‘Pfft. How did you meet your new friends?’ Mandy asks.

  ‘It was a bit random.’

  ‘Sorry, I forgot you go to a nerdy school.’

  ‘It’s not easy,’ I say. ‘Squire is still getting under my skin.’

  ‘Oh yeah, sorry I forgot about your basketball thing, can’t believe he faked an injury,’ Mandy says. ‘So the English assignment is a tie breaker.’

  ‘Yep.’ I open my bag and show Mandy my English assignment. ‘The plan is to beat him with this.’

  Mandy touches Gerald’s face. ‘I didn’t know you drew realistic stuff.’

  ‘Just trying it out,’ I say. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘Your drawings keep getting better,’ Mandy says. ‘You’ll smash Andrew for sure.’

  I can’t wait to give my assignment to Mrs Cheney. I’m as warm as the clouds that look like scrambled eggs in the sky. Suddenly, the early start doesn’t feel so bad any more. I hope this isn’t some dream.

  Mandy pulls out a purple shirt with 500YOW on it. ‘Put this on so you fit in.’

  I slip the shirt over my long-sleeve school shirt. ‘How do I look?’

  Mandy adjusts my glasses and pulls my fringe back a little. ‘You almost look all right.’

  I feel the shirt shrinking and turning into cling wrap around my chest. ‘That’s good enough for me.’

  We arrive at Town Hall station and Mandy’s back on her phone. She uses it as a guide. ‘They’re near Ken Wong’s cafe.’

  We march alongside an army of business people in suits. I spot a few briefcases that look like Andrew’s.

  Mandy shrieks and turns a few heads. ‘Hey, guys!’ She rushes over and throws herself into a group of high school kids.

  One of the girls with purple streaks in her hair gives me an icy stare. ‘Who’s the four-eyes?’

  ‘He’s with me,’ Mandy says. ‘Connor, this is Sasha, Joanne, Olivia and Ruby.’

  I wave my hand and they look straight through me. Have I discovered an invisibility power? No, it’s more like they’re using their ignoring powers on me.

  A guy emerges from the coffee shop with a tray of drinks. ‘I’ve got you one, Mandeeeee.’

  ‘Thanks, Jamesy,’ Mandy chirps. She swoons all over him. I feel like Mama, wanting to check her forehead for a fever. I wonder if I was like that when I spoke to Tori last year. James flicks his hair, which looks like fairy floss that’s been left out in the open for too long. ‘Who’s the geek?’

  ‘He’s my neighbour,’ Mandy says.

  Neighbour? I’ve levelled down from being a friend, but being a geek’s not so bad, I guess.

  James frowns at my grey trousers and black shoes. ‘Why are you in uniform? Do you want to get busted for jigging school?’

  ‘Nah, I can’t bust or jig. I’m not much of a dancer.’

  James blasts his coffee breath at me. ‘Wow, you really are a true geek. Didn’t Mandeee tell ya that we’re gonna hang in the city all day?’

  I shake my head. ‘I’m going to school after this.’

  Everybody cracks up. ‘Where did you find this guy?’ James palms me off. ‘Come on, let’s go.’

  I let the whole group pass and grab Mandy’s arm. ‘Are you really skipping school?’

  ‘I didn’t know, honest.’ Mandy sighs. ‘Look, we’ll leave straight after the concert, I swear.’ She shakes me off and runs behind the group like a puppy.

  We cross the overhead bridge across to the Harbour¬side and get a bird’s-eye view of the stage. It’s a tiny island, surrounded by a stormy purple sea.

  ‘We’re too late!’ Mandy moans. ‘I knew we should have camped out.’

  ‘Can we turn back now?’ I say.

  Mandy pushes me forward. ‘Maybe we can squeeze in.’

  We slowly make our way down the stairs and I end up next to James.

  ‘How long have you known Mandy for?’ he asks.

  ‘Ever since we were in Year 2,’ I say.

  ‘I used to be a nerd with Connor back in primary school,’ Mandy says.

  ‘You’re still a nerd now,’ I say. ‘You still collect Care Bear plushies.’

  James rolls his eyes. ‘How cute, Mandeeee.’

  ‘Shut up, Connor,’ Mandy snaps. ‘I’m not like that any more.’

  She’s got that right. She’s a bizarro Mandy, like Bizarro Superman. She’s the opposite of her normal self. Or maybe this is just the new Mandy.

  We reach the bottom of the stairs and push through to the front of the gates. There’s a line of security guards standing outside.

  ‘Sorry, this whole section is full,’ one of the guards says. ‘You can go watch it on the big screen in the park over there.’

  Mandy flashes her VIP badge. ‘But I get special access.’

  The guard laughs. ‘Everyone here does, they just got here earlier. Better luck next time.’

  I look at my watch. ‘Let’s head back to school.’

  Mandy moans at the clouds above, like a wounded wolf. ‘Who cares, Con-nerd. We have school all the time. This is once-in-a-lifetime kinda stuff.’

  I’m getting chest pains again, watching Mandy turn into a soggy tissue. My eyeballs follow the fence down towards the water. There are people trickling in, beside a giant inflatable sign.

  ‘We’re going to the park,’ James says. ‘You coming, Mandee?’

  ‘Hang on a sec.’ I yank Mandy’s arm. I’m not letting her out of my sight. ‘I’ve got an idea.’

  She shakes me off. ‘I’m not going to school.’

  I pull her close. ‘You want to get in or not?’

  Mandy and I walk along the edge of the fence, heading towards the
inflatable sign.

  ‘How come those people can still go in?’

  ‘They won the supa FM comp to be in the front row.’ Mandy looks at them with glazed eyes. ‘I’d do anything for those shiny silver cards.’

  Shiny cards? I take out my pencil case and there are two Master Class College cards. Good thing Andrew keeps sneaking them inside there. I give one to her. ‘This could work.’

  ‘They’re not blind, Con-nerd.’

  ‘Don’t worry.’ I glance at the security guards. ‘We just need a distraction.’

  Mandy screams. ‘Oh my god, it’s Gary Moore!’ She throws her voice across the crowd like a grenade and it creates a ripple of high-pitched voices.

  I hold out the business card in one hand and glue my mobile to my ear. ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m so excited,’ I say to nobody. I wave my card but the guard’s eyes are looking above our heads. We slip through and disappear into the crowd.

  Mandy jumps on my back. ‘Oh, Connor, I love your nerdy brains!’ She pulls at my hair like a hungry zombie.

  We bulldoze through the crowd, getting closer to the stage.

  ‘They should be here in an hour,’ Mandy says, jumping up and down.

  I check my watch. I might just make it to Maths in the first period. I can still hand in my English assignment on time. I’m hoping it won’t get crushed and flattened in my bag.

  Nearly two hours later and we’re still standing around. My legs are aching. I had to drop my backpack down because it was becoming an anchor. ‘It’s nearly eight-thirty,’ I say. ‘I have to go.’

  ‘They’ll be here, okay?’ Mandy says.

  I quickly do the maths in my head, working out when I’ll be back in school. I won’t make it to rollcall, so I’ll have to pretend I got missed. I won’t even make Maths in period one. Mr Metwally probably won’t notice I’m not there. But Andrew will. He’ll think I’ve turn into a chicken, and that he’s won the challenge. Just when his head couldn’t get any bigger.

  Mrs Cheney had decided our assignments would be due in our English class to stop people having extra time and handing them in at the end of the day. She’s stricter than those budget airlines and their boarding times.

  Mandy takes out her phone and starts typing. ‘Can’t get reception here. James isn’t getting any of my messages.’

  ‘What do you see in him anyway?’

  ‘He’s so dreamy,’ Mandy gushes. ‘He’s a star soccer player on the weekends and his big brother owns this wicked sports car.’

  ‘It’s not like he can drive,’ I say.

  Mandy bumps into me. ‘Look, Tori wasn’t little Miss Perfect either.’

  I step back. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Come on, she was a bit snobbish,’ Mandy says. ‘Like she was always too good to hang out with us, the original C gang.’

  ‘That’s because she had other friends,’ I say.

  ‘Yeah, well, but she was never your type anyway.’

  ‘Just like James isn’t yours,’ I say. ‘He’s just some wannabe cool guy, like the ones on your posters at home.’

  ‘Thanks for nothing, Con-snob.’

  ‘Look who’s talking,’ I yell over the crowd. ‘Or not talking, because you never reply to my messages and we hardly hang out any more.’

  ‘We’re not little kids now, Connor . . .’

  ‘Hey, you two!’ A security guard points at us. ‘Where are your passes?’

  Mandy ducks and drags me down with her. We stay low and scurry away from the security guard. The lights begin to flicker and some guitar riffs echo throughout the crowd. I come back up for air and get hit by another wave of screaming. Arms sprout into the air, holding phones that face the stage. I can’t see anything. I only see 500 Years of Winter launch into their first song on somebody else’s phone screen.

  ‘Can you believe this, Mandy?’ I say.

  I spin around and Mandy’s gone. Where did she go? I try calling out to her but I can hardly hear myself over the noise. I spend three songs digging through the crowd, trying to spot Mandy’s light brown hair or her red backpack. There’s no sign of her. I take out my phone and there’s no reception. I check my watch. Should I go to school or try to find Mandy? There’s no way I’ll hand my English assignment on time if I don’t leave now. I’ll catch up with Mandy later. Two more songs and I’m near the gates.

  ‘It’s time to find our five lucky 500YOWzers to join us for our last song,’ the drummer says. ‘Watch for the spotlights hovering around.’

  ‘If your purple shirt flashes then you’ll be picked!’ Gary adds.

  I make my way to the gates but the security guard stops me. ‘Sorry, nobody leaves until after the concert.’

  ‘I’m not even meant to be here.’

  He laughs. ‘It looks like you are.’

  I look down and my purple shirt has turned shimmery under the spotlight.

  ‘We’ve found our fifth lucky fan!’ Gary says.

  The guard lifts me up and takes me down a narrow path along the fence that leads me to the stage. ‘No, stop . . .’

  I join the other sweaty fans on stage. Gary leaps up and grabs a mike. ‘What are your names?’

  The others say theirs in hoarse voices. Gary thrusts the mike at me.

  I count the studs in his eyebrows. ‘Con-nerd, I mean . . .’

  Gary circles me like a shark going in for the kill. ‘Con-nerd is right, bro. You do not look like the typical 500YOWzer.’ He pulls at my shirt collar. ‘Whoa, is that your uniform? Let’s give a shout-out to your school.’

  I turn to see a field of hands with phones in the air. ‘It’s okay . . .’

  ‘Come on, Con-nerd, you’re on national TV right now.’ Gary lifts up my purple shirt and reads the school emblem. ‘Kentsworth High represent!’

  We get shuffled off to a spot in the middle, as the band set up their guitars around us. Gary starts singing a song, where everybody knows the words. He lets the audience sing it back to him half the time. I hide behind one of the girls.

  It takes forever for Gary to finish the song and the crowd goes nuts. He pats me on the back. ‘Don’t go anywhere, special fans, I’ve got a surprise for all of you.’

  The girl beside me takes in some deep breaths. ‘Wow, Con-nerd, I can’t believe he touched you.’

  I check my watch. My English period is just about to begin. I stand up. ‘I have to go to school now.’

  ‘Gary told us to wait,’ the girl says.

  My purple shirt is sticking to my school shirt underneath. I feel like a thief, stealing Mandy’s dream. I’m a Con-YOWzer. I got busted for skipping school and now the whole world knows all about it, probably Mama as well by now. I’ve let her down on national TV.

  I’m on the train back to Kentsworth. There goes my perfect attendance record. I’m texting Mandy like crazy, telling her how sorry I am, but she’s not replying, which is normal, except I’m getting strong vibes that she’s really ignoring me this time.

  My phone is in meltdown because Mama keeps calling me. I’ve already ignored it a few times. I don’t know who’s going to give up first, my phone’s battery or me. I pick it up on the fifth time. ‘Hello, Mama?’

  ‘Where are you?’ Mama sounds frantic, like she’s spent the last few hours running around the city. ‘I saw you on TV! Then the school called me.’

  ‘It’s a long story,’ I say. I could ride this train until sunset and it still wouldn’t be enough time to tell Mama everything. ‘I’m going to school. See you back at home.’

  ‘I’m just glad you’re safe.’ She breathes so heavily that I almost feel it on my cheek. She hangs up before I can say anything else.

  I feel rotten because she’s not angry. Just worried and sad. I don’t blame her. I threw away her trust. Now I’ve truly let the tiger mother out of the cage. She’ll probably strap a tracking device to my ankle from now on. Maybe she’ll quit her job so she can be my personal protector, shielding me from friends and fun.

  I finally make it to Kents
worth, just in time for the start of lunch. I go straight to the office for a late note, hoping the office staff haven’t been watching any TV this morning.

  Mrs Luc is at the front desk. ‘Look who decided to turn up. Did you have fun at the concert?’

  Any hope I had is draining away fast. ‘Did you see it on TV ?’

  Mrs Luc shakes her head. ‘I saw it on Mr Pitt’s phone.’

  I gulp. I somehow don’t think the Principal wanted to show me off. Mrs Luc points me to his office and I knock on the door.

  ‘Come in,’ Mr Pitt says. He’s sitting in a comfortable chair, in front of a chess set. ‘You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, Connor.’

  He gestures to the chair opposite and I sit down heavily. I try to explain to Mr Pitt about Mandy, and how I wanted to look after her. ‘I really thought the concert would finish before school started,’ I say.

  ‘Nonetheless, truancy is a serious offence, Connor,’ Mr Pitt says quietly, leaning forward. ‘Your poor mother was almost in tears when we called her up.’

  I feel as tiny and vulnerable as one of the pawns on Mr Pitt’s chessboard. My chest aches. I didn’t want to drag Mama into this mess.

  ‘Plus you’ve put our school on TV for all the wrong reasons . . .’

  I grip the sides of my seat, piercing my nails into the cushion. Is Mr Pitt about to kick me out of Kentsworth? All I can think is that Andrew’s wish is about to come true.

  ‘However,’ Mr Pitt continues, ‘this is your first incident, so I’ll be giving you a week of afternoon detention. I don’t expect you will be skipping any more school. Am I right?’

  I nod vigorously.

  Mr Pitt stands up. ‘I’ll also be sending out a letter to your mother that she will need to read and sign.’

  ‘Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.’

  I slip out of his office and close the door, letting out a long sigh of relief. Then my mind suddenly flashes back to my assignment.

  I rush over to the English staffroom. Mrs Cheney comes to the door with her hands on hips. ‘Well, if it isn’t the famous Con-nerd.’