by J. H. Croix
***
The next day dawned gray and rainy. Emma left for work early to stop at Misty Mountain Café for coffee. The café was housed in an old Quonset hut, one of many leftover from World War II when the United States used Alaska for strategic purposes due to its geographic proximity to Asia and Russia. Quonset huts were half circles of corrugated steel, open and airy inside. The owners of Misty Mountain had modernized this one with finished walls and decorative timber beams across the ceiling. The café was decorated with bright colors and local artwork. Summers were relentlessly busy with tourists, and this morning was no exception. Emma found herself in a crowd when she entered. Waiting in line, she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find Susie.
“Hey!” Susie exclaimed, pulling her close for a quick hug. “Do you have time to sit down? I have a table over in the corner.”
“Of course. Just let me get my coffee.”
Emma grabbed a savory roll once her coffee was ready and joined Susie in the corner.
Susie grinned madly once Emma sat down. “So?”
“So, what?”
Susie sighed dramatically and took a sip of coffee. “You know exactly what I’m asking about. But since you’re being obtuse, how was your fishing trip with Trey and Stuart? I’ve been dying to know but work’s been crazy, so I didn’t have time to call you. You just missed Hannah here, and she said you hadn’t even called her.”
Susie said all of this as if Emma was supposed to know she should have called them both with updates immediately. Emma laughed and shook her head.
“My fishing trip was great. They invited me to dinner after,” she said, wondering how much to share with Susie.
“And you didn’t call to tell us! So what happened at dinner?”
“We had dinner. I met Stuart’s cat and his fish.”
“And?”
“Susie, there’s not a whole lot to tell,” Emma said, not sure yet that she wanted to share that Trey had kissed her senseless and then some.
“Oh yes there is. If that’s all there was to it, you wouldn’t be so evasive. Trey doesn’t just invite women over for dinner. He’s lived in town for almost two years now, and I would know if he had. So that is a big deal. Spill it,” Susie demanded.
Emma decided she could use a little advice. Even if Susie was pushy, she was the kind of friend who told it to you straight, and she was as loyal as they came.
“Okay, aside from fishing and dinner, I discovered Trey is an incredibly good kisser.”
Susie squealed, and Emma glared at her. “Keep it down, would you? That’s the good part. Next is the part where I could use some advice.”
“My advice is to go for it. He’s a good guy. According to Jared, that is. Jared may drive me batty with how uptight he is, but he’s a pretty good judge of character.”
Emma tilted her head. “So how come you didn’t mention what you know sooner?”
“Because I just started asking around about Trey. When you told us he invited you to go fishing, I figured I’d better do some reconnaissance and find out what I could. The guy plays his cards close, so I didn’t know much. It’s lucky Jared did. Apparently they got to know each other after so many run-ins at the harbor. Jared says Trey’s clean as a whistle – gossip-wise, that is – that his family lives in Anchorage, he’s close to his sister, his wife died from a heart defect, and he hasn’t dated anyone since she died.” Susie spoke rapidly, dumping the information out.
Emma couldn’t help but laugh and then almost wanted to cry. Much as she’d grown to feel like she was a part of the community here, realizing Susie decided she needed to essentially run a social background check on Trey made her feel like she truly belonged.
Susie must have sensed Emma’s turmoil. “Hey, I hope it’s okay I asked around. I just wanted to…”
Emma held a hand up, tears in her eyes. “It’s absolutely okay. Sometimes it just overwhelms me to have friends like you. It’s awesome,” she said with a smile, the tears disappearing.
“Oh good. You’re pretty awesome too,” Susie replied with a wink. She gave Emma an assessing look. “Okay, so now that I spilled my goods, what else?”
Emma sighed. “So he kissed me, maybe a few times, and it was amazing. He invited me over for dinner again tonight. Stuart’s adorable, and Trey is so good with him. He says all the right things. And I’m totally freaked out that I’m being stupid. I can’t help but worry if Trey hears a whiff of what happened with Greg, he’ll run from me. And even though I finally told y’all about what happened with Greg, I didn’t mention I still get these random silent calls. I’m pretty sure it’s Greg and I don’t know what to do about it.” Emma’s words tumbled out.
Susie’s eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed, her gaze sharp with concern. “Okay, we’ll get back to the Trey bit, but why the hell didn’t you mention to us you’re worried about these calls?”
Emma sighed and took a fortifying sip of coffee. “Because I finally told you what a nightmare my marriage was. It’s not like I was purposefully hiding the whole thing. It’s just when I came out here to find my parents and found Hannah, I was so focused on that and finally getting away from Greg I didn’t want to dwell on what happened. I wanted to focus on the future. Not to mention, my plate was pretty full with moving, learning that my bio parents had died, getting to know the sister I never knew I had, and so on. I don’t get these calls much, maybe every few months and sometimes a few weeks in a row.” Emma paused and looked over at Susie whose eyes were dark. “Susie, don’t be mad at me. If you’d ever been in a relationship like the one I had with Greg, you’d understand why I never wanted to talk about it. I just wanted to put it behind me.”
Susie’s eyes softened. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at Greg. We don’t even know if it’s him with these calls, but it’s damn likely. I hate you had to go through it. Maybe I haven’t had a relationship like that, but I can see how once you were out, you’d want to just forget it ever happened. So whatever you think, don’t go thinking I’m pissed at you. I’m just worried and wish you’d mentioned something sooner. You do not deserve this. I don’t have an answer just yet, but we’ll figure it out. Jared’s buddies with Darren Thomas, one of the cops. I’ll see if he can get some help from him.”
Susie gave her a considering look and reached over to squeeze Emma’s hand. “I won’t tell you not to worry, but you know me, I’ll find a way to do something. This is obvious, but have you tried changing your number?”
Emma nodded, anxiety fluttering in her chest. That’s the part that bothered her the most. She had changed her number, more than once. Each time, it wasn’t too long and she’d get another call with only the sound of someone breathing. “Three times. Don’t you remember bitching at me about it? Doesn’t matter. The calls keep happening. I got one last night.”
“Ahh, so that’s what’s got you thinking Trey would run if he knew about Greg. You know, I’m not going to pretend I know Trey all that well because I’d be lying. But I don’t think he would. I may barely know him, but he doesn’t give me the jerk vibe and Jared swears he’s solid. And Jared’s so damn uptight that if he’s willing to vouch for someone, it means something. Jared hates bullshit, and he thinks pretty highly of Trey. Honestly, if he would run from you because you ended up in a bad marriage, well then he’s not worth it,” Susie said emphatically.
Emma shook her head and wondered why she hadn’t talked to her friends about Greg sooner. Susie made it all seem less horrifying. “Agree with you there. But it’s kind of hard not to worry about what he might do when he finds out.”
“Well get it over with then. I’m all about just spilling it,” Susie said, slapping her hand on the table.
“Susie, I can’t dump this on him. ‘By the way, I know we just met but I thought you should know I used to be married to a wife beater.’ Are you serious?”
“I think you should find a different way to say it,” Susie began with a smile “…but yes, I’m serious. Here you are, afte
r one day of fishing and dinner about to see him again, and you’ve got yourself worked up he’d run away if he knew about Greg. If you don’t tell him, you’ll keep worrying about it. You’re a therapist, you know this.”
Emma sighed. She knew Susie was right. The therapist in her, who was generally annoying when focused on herself, knew it was best to get this out in the open. Not just for her own sanity, but if she was going to let things go anywhere between her and Trey, it was better if he knew. Just thinking about it tied her stomach in knots.
Susie reached over and squeezed her hand again. “I can’t tell you when, but as into Trey as you are, and you are into him, you can’t let this go much further without getting this out of the way for your own sake. You’re the kind of person that wouldn’t want to be serious with someone if you were keeping secrets.”
Emma threaded her hands through her hair and took a deep breath. “I know. Ugh. It’s so shitty when it’s me. I know if someone were asking me about this, I’d tell them pretty much what you’re telling me. It’s just so embarrassing on this side.”
“I get it, but anybody with a brain realizes it’s not like guys who beat their girlfriends start out by hauling off and hitting them at the beginning. They start out nice and charming. I’m not an expert, but I’ve seen this type of thing play out. All you have to do is read the local paper and you see that Diamond Creek, our tourist mecca with its friendly vibe, has more arrests for domestic violence than anything else. There’s a reason Alaska is all about domestic violence prevention. You may have gotten away from your own situation, but you landed in the state with the worst stats in the nation. I didn’t have to go out of my way to find this out. It’s in the news all the time. You’re a member of one of the least exclusive clubs in the world. Don’t be embarrassed.” Susie nodded firmly when she finished.
Emma’s throat tightened, and she couldn’t shake the anxiety she felt. Intellectually, she knew Susie was right. Emotionally, it wasn’t that simple. Shame welled inside at the thought of telling Trey about Greg. She knew all the reasons why getting involved with Trey wasn’t a good idea. And now he mattered, which made it even more complicated. That damn call last night had stirred her up.
“Could I call you whenever I need a friendly reminder about this?” Emma asked wryly.
“Absolutely,” Susie replied with no hesitation.
Emma looked over at Susie’s warm and determined brown eyes. Hope bloomed in her heart. Maybe, just maybe Susie was right about Trey, or rather Jared was right about Trey. It wouldn’t make it any easier to talk to him about Greg now, but Susie was definitely right that she’d simply worry over it until she did.
Emma glanced at the clock on the wall. “Okay, I need to get to the office.” She took a long look at Susie. “I can’t tell you how glad I am I happened to run into you this morning. You were the perfect person for me to talk to. I could use a little of your mojo, so I’ll try to channel you later when I talk to Trey.”
Susie smiled warmly, reaching over for both of Emma’s hands this time. “I don’t get called perfect very often, maybe never, so you made my day. You call me if you need to. In the meantime, promise you’ll let me know if you get any more of those calls. I’m assuming it’s okay if I ask Jared to check with Darren.”
Emma nodded. “Oh yeah. I’ve spilled the beans now, might as well see if I can get some help.” She gave Susie’s hands a squeeze and grabbed her purse and coffee.
***
Emma sat beside Stuart on the floor in the living room, waiting while he selected a book from his reading corner. She stroked Tootsie who’d positioned himself between them.
“What about the Farmer’s Almanac?” Stuart asked, pulling out the latest version.
Emma was surprised at his choice and looked over to the small bookshelf, painted bright red with blue starfish scattered on the sides, to see there was an entire row filled with Farmer’s Almanacs.
“Stuart loves those. His grandfather gave him one last year, and he’s hooked. Not sure if you’ve ever read one, but they’re filled with information, pictures included,” Trey said from the living room couch.
Stuart looked to Emma and nodded vigorously. “They have everything. There’s weather, stuff about animals and plants, and the tide. Haven’t you ever read one?” Stuart asked, his eyes wide with disbelief.
“I promise I’ve read one,” Emma said solemnly. “My sister has this year’s, and I saw it just the other day. If you’d like to read that tonight, sounds like a plan.”
They had finished cleaning up after dinner. Trey had made a salmon casserole with salad. Emma was quickly discovering Trey was quite the cook though he insisted it was only by accident. She thoroughly enjoyed dinner. The more time she spent with Trey, the more she wanted more time with him. The physical attraction between them was an electric force, just a mere brush of his hand on her arm was enough to set her pulse off and liquid heat to pool in her center. There was that, and then so much more. Trey was so steady with Stuart, patient with his questions, and yet firm when he needed to be. He and Stuart included her in talk about Stuart’s day at a summer nature school, and then led the conversation into questions about her life. The only mar in the evening was what lay in the back of Emma’s mind—she promised herself she’d let Trey know about what happened with Greg. The mere thought of it caused anxiety to bloom and her chest to tighten.
Stuart nudged her on the shoulder, bringing her thoughts back to the moment. “See, they have a part about plants. Dad says I can have a garden next year, so I want to read about it,” Stuart said.
A small bookmark with a picture of a walrus on it slid onto the floor. Emma picked it up and handed it to Stuart. “Don’t lose your spot,” she said, giving Tootsie one last stroke before standing and holding her hand out.
Stuart’s bedtime was at hand, and Emma wanted to make sure her presence didn’t interfere. Trey had explained that Stuart preferred to read himself, but liked to have Trey sit with him for a few minutes. Stuart had politely asked if she’d help him select his book for the night before he went to bed. When they reached the couch, Stuart leaned against his father’s leg.
“Dad, can I stay up since Emma’s here?”
Trey smiled and slipped his hand around Stuart’s back, rubbing slowly up and down. “Remember what we talked about earlier?”
Stuart nodded. “You said Emma would know I needed to get my rest, so she’d want me to go to bed on time,” Stuart said slowly. He glanced up at Emma hopefully.
“Your dad was absolutely right,” Emma said, looking down at Stuart. “Bedtime is important and so is sleep. Give me a quick hug before you go.” She squatted down and hugged him close. Stuart squeezed her and gave her a smacking kiss on the cheek.
Trey gave her a quick grateful smile and then stood to walk Stuart to his room. “Be back,” he mouthed silently over his shoulder. Stuart gave her a last wave when they reached the hall.
Emma sat down on the couch with a sigh, looking out the front windows. The sun was in its slow slide, nowhere near its final bow behind the mountains. She still marveled at the long summer days. Dusk wasn’t the brief window of time here like it was back East. Dusk lasted for hours, the light fading in increments as the sun inched its way out of sight. The mountains were shadowed with the sun low behind them. Soft pink and gold suffused the sky. The birch trees glowed white amongst the spruce in the faded light. The field to the side was dusted with the soft light, the purple lupine in the tall grass radiant.
Emma heard the low murmur of Trey’s voice. She steeled herself to talk to him as soon as he returned. A few minutes later, she heard the bedroom door close, and Trey returned to the living room, sitting down beside her. Her pulse immediately started racing, heat swirled in her center and spiraled outward. Turning to look at him, her eyes collided with his—that rich brown, deep and intent. She couldn’t catch her breath at the wave of desire that swept through her.
Trey simply leaned forward and kissed her. Hi
s kiss began gently, a soft, thorough exploration. Once Emma slid her hand around his neck, Trey cupped her face in both hands and just devoured her mouth. His tongue wound and tangled with hers. She was lost in the passion that twined around them.
He broke free from her lips to dust kisses across her face, nibbling her earlobe and tracing his way down her neck with his tongue. Heat built inside of her, her skin flushed all over. She gasped when Trey slid his hand down and flicked the buttons free at the top of her blouse. He traced the tops of her breasts with his tongue, pausing to look up at her when she gasped his name.
“Yes?” he asked, his voice low and deep, just above a whisper.
Emma forced herself to try to think, but her mind was muddled with desire. All she wanted was Trey. Now. Completely.
The feeling was so overwhelming, it shook her. “I…can’t…can’t think…”
“Do you need to think right now?” Trey asked with a quirk of his lips, his fingertips trailing across her breasts.
Emma closed her eyes against the dark passion in his gaze. She tried to slow her breath, but failed. And yet, she promised herself she’d talk to Trey and letting things spiral out of control this fast wasn’t conducive to talking. Opening her eyes, she braced herself. “Yes, I need to think. We have to talk…just…” Her breath hissed through her teeth when Trey lightly pinched a nipple through the lace of her bra.
“You’re not being fair,” she said in between gasps.
A sly smile stole over his face. “I know, but I don’t want to talk,” he said simply.
Emma sighed. “I don’t either, but I have to.”
He seemed to read into her eyes and realize she was serious. He pulled back, his hand sliding down to rest on her ribcage. He took a slow breath and glanced back at her, his eyes serious now.
“Okay. This seems important. Talk.”
Emma had rehearsed what she planned to say, which was a good thing because it took enormous discipline to force the words out when she didn’t want to, but only knew she had to. “This is going way faster than I expected. I just think there’s something you need to know about me before we go too much further.” She wanted to stop here and just tell him to forget it, or make up some random excuse.
