And Baby Makes Three

by Rebecca Winters

In Jared’s mind Mike appeared beside the girl. He gave a sigh of satisfaction. The same face. No doubt of it.

  Now he knew what he’d come to find out, and the way ahead was as clear as a racetrack, with the chequered flag in sight.

  CHAPTER THREE

  NEXT day he texted.

  Glad rags tonight. J.

  She texted back.

  Shame. I was going to try out a new helmet. K.

  His message came back.

  Me too. J.

  By seven o’clock she was ready, in a dress of deep blue that brought out the depths of her eyes, and her hair had been arranged in a clever combination of elegant and casual. Hell would freeze over before she let Jared suspect she’d taken trouble about her appearance. Even though she had.

  ‘You’ll knock his eyes out,’ Ethel said with satisfaction. ‘He’ll wonder how he stayed away from you for so long.’

  ‘That’s not the idea,’ Kaye protested untruthfully.

  ‘Isn’t it? You’re not human, then.’

  ‘It’s for Mike’s sake. He needs his father and I’m going to make sure they get to know each other. Nothing more.’

  Ethel nodded wisely. ‘Well done, darling. You keep telling yourself that.’

  The doorbell rang before she could think of a reply.

  ‘I’m not late, am I?’ Jared asked, smiling.

  ‘Bang on time.’

  ‘Mum, is that him?’ Mike’s voice came from upstairs and his face could be seen through the banisters.

  ‘Right here,’ Jared called, bounding up the stairs.

  Their voices dropped. Mike seemed to be doing most of the talking. Kaye just heard, ‘She doesn’t like-’ and Jared’s reply, ‘I’ll remember that.’ Plainly Mike was giving his instructions and Jared was taking mental notes.

  At last Jared said, ‘I’d better go now.’

  ‘Yes-don’t keep her waiting,’ Mike advised solemnly. ‘She gets mad.’

  ‘Oi, cheeky!’ Kaye called up the stairs, and was rewarded with two male guffaws.

  ‘Goodnight, Mike,’ she said, climbing the stairs to reach him. ‘Go to bed, go to sleep, and stop organising my life.’

  ‘That’s the trouble with women,’ Jared confided to the child. ‘They need us to organise them, but they won’t admit it.’

  Mike nodded. They shook hands.

  ‘Bed,’ Kaye said firmly, kissing him.

  ‘Night.’ He kissed her and vanished into his room, from whence came the sound of giggling.

  ‘Let’s go before I get into any more trouble,’ Jared said hurriedly.

  Outside, he had a taxi waiting to take them to a restaurant whose plain exterior belied the luxury within. A waiter led them to a table in a discreet corner and hovered to take their order for aperitifs. Jared consulted her taste, giving the matter his whole attention-as he did everything in life, Kaye realised.

  Disconcertingly, it served to antagonise her again, as she recalled a hundred newspaper tales of glamorous women he’d escorted, wining and dining them just like this, while she’d been left alone, struggling to raise the son he neither knew about nor wanted to know about.

  When the waiter had departed Jared leaned back in his seat, grinning.

  ‘I need this drink,’ he said. ‘Mike doesn’t let you get away with anything, does he?’

  ‘I’m sorry if he made you nervous,’ Kaye said.

  ‘I reckon he’s always going to make people nervous, because he seems to get one step ahead. What a great kid!’

  ‘Yes, he is,’ she said eagerly.

  Tonight she must tell him that he had a son. If he rejected that, she would manage somehow. After all, rejection was what she was used to. But Jared seemed drawn to the child, and perhaps Mike could really have a father. Only he mattered.

  To prepare the ground, she continued, ‘The teachers tell me he’s advanced for his age. He’s only five, but he’s already starting to read and write. He’s good at drawing, a dab hand on a computer, and he’s got this great outgoing personality. I envy him that.’

  ‘Don’t you have an outgoing personality?’ he asked with a touch of surprise.

  ‘Not really. Sometimes yes; sometimes no. My wary side can take over. But he doesn’t seem to have a wary side.’

  ‘Tell me about it.’ Jared grinned.

  ‘He’s got no sense of fear. It makes me want to protect him, but then he gets so cross.’

  He nodded. ‘I can imagine. I’ve always been the same. In fact I-’

  ‘What is it?’ she asked, for he seemed suddenly uneasy.

  ‘Last night-I should apologise, shouldn’t I?’

  ‘What for?’

  ‘Well-Mike-’

  ‘But you were wonderful with Mike. You told him just what he needed to hear. If his hero has bad dreams too then it isn’t sissy, is it? Why would you apologise for that?’

  ‘Thanks-I’m glad if I helped. But-well-’ He was floundering. He seldom apologised to anyone about anything, unless it was the kind of light-hearted ‘sorry’ he’d give Hal after a race. But this apology mattered. Mike mattered. She mattered.

  ‘I did rather take him over, didn’t I?’ he managed to say at last. ‘You’re his mother, but I didn’t give you a chance. Why are you smiling?’

  ‘At how easily fooled you are,’ she said in delight.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Jared, you didn’t take Mike over. He took you over.’

  He stared. ‘Yes, I guess he did at that.’

  ‘What he wants he just goes for. You, me, Sam and Ethel, the kids at school, even the teachers sometimes. We all end up dancing to his tune.’

  Jared gave a rueful grin. ‘I guess I just fell into line. That’s all right-as long as you weren’t upset.’

  She shook her head. ‘You made him happy, and that’s all I care about.’

  ‘All?’ he asked casually, not looking at her.

  ‘I’m a parent. My baby comes first. It goes with the territory.’ The moment had come. She took a deep breath and added quietly, ‘I guess you know why I’m saying that.’

  She half expected him to flinch away, play dumb, but she had underestimated him. He met her eyes, defenceless. ‘It’s true, then? He’s mine?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said simply.

  ‘Mine-my son.’

  Although he must have suspected the truth it still seemed to bewilder him. He repeated the words in a daze, as though trying to understand them.

  ‘My child-’ he whispered. ‘He’s my child-mine.’

  Suddenly he dropped his head into his hands. Across the narrow table Kaye could see him shaking and was strangely invaded by pity.

  ‘Jared,’ she murmured, reaching out to him. ‘It’s all right.’

  As soon as he felt the touch of her fingers he seized them in a terrible grip, not raising his head but shaking it from side to side like a man in a state of confusion. She reached out her other hand, caressing what little she could see of his face.

  ‘It’s all right,’ she repeated. She wasn’t quite sure what she meant by the words, except to convey a message of warmth and reassurance.

  ‘It’s not all right,’ he groaned, raising his head. ‘How could I have been such a fool? When we parted that night I was sure that I’d been careful-but that was just me being stupid and ignorant. You were so young and innocent-a virgin-and I couldn’t face my own guilt. I told myself you’d get in touch if anything went wrong, and when you didn’t I thought all was well. Kaye, why didn’t you tell me? Did you hate me?’

  ‘No, of course not. I tried to contact you, but by the time I suspected I was pregnant you’d left the firm and you weren’t easy to get in touch with. It was like a wall had come down around you. I sent a text to your cell phone and got back a message saying, ‘Thank you for contacting Jared Marriot. This number is now closed, but he thanks you for your good wishes.”

  Jared closed his eyes, as though seeking refuge from the terrible truth, or perhaps from himself. Kaye, still holding his ha
nd, gave it a little squeeze.

  ‘I think that was Mirella,’ he said. ‘We were getting close, but she tried to manipulate me even closer. I broke it off because she went too far, tried to keep people away, but I never realised how far she’d gone. But it’s still my fault. I should have contacted you. I should have-’

  ‘Hush,’ she said gently. ‘It’s long ago. We were both younger-’

  ‘And I was stupid and selfish. Why did you let me get away with it? You might have sued me for support-showed me up for the world to jeer at-’

  ‘But they wouldn’t have jeered at you,’ she said wryly. ‘Just me, for being rejected.’

  ‘I didn’t reject you,’ he said with soft violence. ‘Call me immature, irresponsible, half-witted-’

  ‘If you really want me to,’ she said with a slight smile. ‘Anything you say.’

  ‘I deserve it. I deserve everything bad you could say or do.’ He checked himself and sighed. ‘But that wouldn’t help, would it? I’m floundering around, not facing things, just as I did then. You’re the one who’s had all the problems.’

  ‘And all the happiness,’ she reminded him. ‘I’ve had five years of watching Mike grow, learn to walk and talk, discovering how bright he is. You’ve missed all that. I reckon I’m the lucky one.’

  ‘But you were left to raise him without any help from me. I wasn’t there when you gave birth. I’ve never been there when it mattered. Don’t make it easy for me, Kaye. Even with Sam and Ethel you must have been lonely.’

  ‘Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.’

  ‘Any-particular friends?’

  She guessed he was angling to find out about boyfriends, but she wasn’t going to make it that easy for him.

  ‘They come and go,’ she said vaguely. ‘I don’t tend to lay out the welcome mat.’

  ‘No, I can imagine. But I still don’t understand why you didn’t pursue me and make me face my responsibilities.’

  ‘I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me. Or you might have pressured me to end the pregnancy-’

  ‘Would you have done that?’

  How could he dare to ask that? she wondered. She could never have destroyed the child that she carried, but especially not his child-the child of a man who’d touched her heart, even though their time together had been brief. What had happened to her that night had stayed a part of her-not just in her pregnancy, but in the way her spirit had clung to him ever since. But clearly this was something he couldn’t or wouldn’t understand. Her antagonism flared again.

  ‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘I wouldn’t have done that.’

  ‘Are you angry with me for asking?’

  ‘A bit. You see-’

  ‘There are a million things I still have to learn,’ he said, winning her sympathy again with his understanding. ‘I’m going to have to let you lead the way along this path. That is, if you want to?’

  ‘I want to,’ she whispered.

  ‘Every step of the way-wherever it leads. And that’s what we don’t know. Do you remember how I was? Always cock-a-hoop, sure I knew everything.’

  ‘Yes, I remember that,’ she said tenderly.

  He grimaced. ‘And then things happen that take you by surprise.’

  ‘But perhaps you shouldn’t be surprised,’ she pointed out lightly. ‘The life you’ve led-Mike probably isn’t the only one. Careful!’

  His glass had slipped from his hand and smashed onto the floor. Waiters hurried over to clear up the broken glass and replace the wine.

  ‘Sorry about that,’ he said tensely when there was peace again. ‘There aren’t any others. I’d have known. No other girl would have let me get away with it as you did.’ He saw her faint frown and hastened to add, ‘You think you’re one of a crowd? You’re wrong. You’re special. I knew it even then, but-’

  ‘But things were different then, weren’t they?’ she asked gently.

  ‘What do you mean by that?’ he asked quickly.

  ‘Nothing,’ she said, puzzled by a hint of sharpness in his voice.

  ‘You must have meant something. Different how?’

  ‘We were different people. The years have changed us, made us grow up. You were only twenty-four, and most lads of that age aren’t ready for responsibility.’

  Did she only imagine that he relaxed, as though with relief?

  ‘Yes, I was just a kid in those days,’ he said. ‘There was a lot I wasn’t ready for.’

  His face was wary, uncertain, as though he feared that every step might be the one that destroyed his dreams. She’d never seen such a look from him before.

  ‘We still have a thousand things to talk about,’ he said. ‘But not here and now. I want to be alone with you for a long time, with no interruptions.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said quietly. She knew a sense of relief. She’d sensed, as he had, that this wasn’t the moment to go any further. ‘Time without interruptions isn’t easy to come by if you’re a racing driver.’

  ‘Right. A different country every two weeks or so. Tomorrow I leave for Spain. Hell! But when I come back you’ll still be here, won’t you?’ His voice was tense again.

  ‘Yes, I’ll be here.’ A thought struck her. ‘Are you on the early flight tomorrow?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then it’s time you were home and in bed.’

  ‘Bullying me, huh?’

  ‘No, I’m just thinking of Mike. If you’re not at your best and don’t win the race I’ll have a lot of explaining to do. Come along. Get going.’

  ‘Yes, nanny!’ he said with teasing obedience. ‘You sound like my mother. The night before my first Grand Prix she ordered me to bed as though I was five.’

  ‘I guess she understood you well. Come along.’

  He’d said he liked to be in charge at all times, but he seemed happy enough to follow her lead now.

  In the taxi, he said, ‘Suddenly I don’t want to go to Spain.’

  ‘Oh, yes, you do,’ she said lightly. ‘Racing comes first.’

  He grimaced. ‘Does it? Well, if you say so. What’s that smile for?’

  ‘I’ve just realised what a problem I’m going to have over the next few days. My team is Brent, but secretly I’ll be rooting for you.’

  ‘Promise me that’s true.’

  ‘I promise,’ she said softly.

  ‘And when I return we’ll meet up on the first day?’

  ‘Are you kidding? Mike would never forgive me if we didn’t.’

  ‘I’m not talking about Mike now.’

  As the taxi drew up outside her home she prevented him coming with her to the door.

  ‘Go home,’ she said. ‘Get some sleep.’

  ‘Whatever you say.’ He kissed her cheek.

  ‘Goodnight,’ she said. And fled.

  Mike was sleeping when she looked in on him, and she quietly retreated to her own room. It had been a good evening. Jared had accepted his son more easily than she’d dared to hope, and she could feel him reaching out to herself.

  Yet she was pervaded by a sense of alarm. She’d told him that the years had changed them, making them different people, and it was true. They had both become more mature-especially Jared. But there was another change in herself.

  When she looked back on the girl she’d been then-openhearted, open-armed, ready to love and embrace the world-she could hardly believe that she was the same person.

  She’d borne a child to a man who’d simply brushed her aside, and it had changed her beyond recognition. Now she was suspicious, where once she’d been trusting, withdrawn where she’d been eager. The girl who’d once been filled with hope had learned to expect the worst.

  Her own reaction to Jared’s return had surprised and worried her. She hadn’t rushed into his arms, she reassured herself, but she’d brushed hard-won caution aside far too easily.

  A warning voice was sounding in her head.

  Beware. Hold back. He wants his child, but does he want you? Don’t throw away the painful lessons you’ve learn
ed just because he smiles at you.

  She looked out of the window at the park where they had walked the night before, as though she might find some kind of answer in its depths. But there was only the darkness, the soft rustling of the trees, and no answer in the whole universe.

  When she arrived at work next morning, the owner of Brent, Mr Salcombe, was waiting for her, his face dark and angry.

  ‘What did you think you were doing?’ he snapped.

  ‘When?’

  ‘Last night. You were seen with Jared Marriott, with your heads very close together. Cannonball would give anything to learn the secret of our new gearbox, and now I suppose they know everything.’

  The mere thought of being with Jared and wasting time discussing gearboxes was so outrageous that she had to choke back a laugh.

  ‘Very funny,’ her boss snapped. ‘I won’t tolerate disloyalty. Clear your desk and go.’

  ‘But-’

  ‘Go!’

  It was all over that fast. Within an hour she was outside the building, minus a job. She texted Jared, telling him what had happened, and awaited his reply.

  It didn’t come.

  She sent another text, worded more urgently.

  Silence.

  Nightmares danced about her. It was happening again. He’d simply chosen to disappear.

  She could have laughed at her own stupidity in ever believing in him. She’d feared that he might try to seduce her to get close to Mike, but he wasn’t even bothering with that.

  Sam and Ethel looked up in alarm as she stormed home.

  ‘That’s it,’ she said. ‘I can forget any sentimental ideas I may have had.’

  Briefly she described what had happened.

  ‘And when I try to contact him he’s just vanished again,’ she finished. ‘So now I know.’

  ‘You’re too ready to look on the dark side,’ Sam insisted.

  ‘Well, maybe the dark side is safer. I knew that before. I should have stuck to it.’

  ‘But he won’t just dump you if he wants to stay in touch with Mike,’ Ethel pointed out.

  ‘Oh, he wants his son, all right. But there are lawyers for that.’

  At the word ‘lawyers’ she sensed a frisson go through her grandparents.

  ‘What is it?’